(no subject)
December 14th, 2005 - 2:00pm, lunch hour.
Dear Jesus,
Thank you so much for letting the most adorable man on the face of the earth rid me of my virginity. Thank you for letting it be in an exotic place. Thank you for letting it be with someone who was gentle and kind. Thank you for letting him whisper words of comfort in my ear. Thank you for letting him hold me close after I shivered in orgasm. Thank you for letting it be with someone I wanted to have sex with. Thank you for letting him give me his scarf to wear for the rest of the day.
Yours Truly, Ashley
December 14th, 2005 - 4:10pm, end of school.
Dear Jesus,
How could you? How could you let the person that I lost my virginity to go away forever? How could you make me cry for an hour about him? How can you sit up there in Heaven, and watch me mourn over my loss? For the first time in ages, I've actually felt true happiness. For the first time in ages, I've felt like I belonged. That maybe there was someone out there for me after all. How the fuck could you do this to me.
Ashley
I can't believe it. I should be happy, that I got what I wanted, but I can't. I just don't understand why god would be so cruel to me. It's been so long since I've felt any real feelings for anyone. Hell, it's been so long since I've actually been frightened of what a guy thought about me. The fact that a person who was a total stranger to me a while ago, became my close friend and then shared with me the most intamate thing you can share now, is amazing.
Time to explain my story to you okay?
So Roberta and I were in the Lunch Queue, and we saw Tom with Tony. I waved to both of them, and both waved back of course. Then Tom gestured with his hand to come out of the queue and talk to him. So I told Roberta, I'd be right back. I was just going to have a word with Tom.
Tom said, "So, Paula said you wanted to talk to me yesterday?" I had told Paula yesterday as I was leaving school, that if he showed up for the bus at the turning circle, to tell him I wanted to have a word with him the next day. So I replied,
"Yeah. I just wanted to give you this." and I pulled a Christmas Card out of my blazer for him. He said thank you and made really cute "awww"ing sounds. It took me absolutely ages to write the stuff I did. I had to look up how to say things in Afrikaans, and I had to figure out what exactly I wanted to say. It was lame. Haha. I asked him if he liked it, and he said,
"Your Afrikaans is horrible." Gee, thanks Tom. I got kind of angry because if that was all he was going to say after taking the trouble to make him a card, he'd be better off just taking it and walking off. And then he said, "But it's really cute and sweet of you." and he gave me a kiss on the cheek. Then he asked if I wanted to come with him to the Sixth Form centre to have some coffee. So I followed him in there, and luckily none of the staff was there because it was during Christmas Lunch. Just us two alone drinking coffee. It was actually really nice.
I told him, "I'm really going to miss you when you go back home." and he told me that it was summer vacation over there still. And he missed his friends so much. I told him I could relate. We both told eachother our sob stories about "back home" and what we're going to do first thing when we get there. I told him I was going to kiss the shiny, clean floors of the San Fransisco airport, and probably cry until I had I had no tears left. He told me he was going to throw away all his formal suits (because formal wear is the uniform for his year) and play in some muddy swamp somewhere.
I then started to tell him that I wanted to go play in a safari one day in Africa and then he just completely randomly kissed me full on the lips. No apparent reason. Just like "omgz, surprise!!!" He got up off of his chair and looked down at me for a second, then picked me up so I was straddling his waist, but we were still upright. Kind of like when you pick up a baby. I smiled and he laughed and we started kissing again. And then he started walking with me on his waist towards the couch, where he lay me down, and got ontop of me.
And. We had amazing couch sex. In the Sixth Form centre. A room with transparent walls.
It was really exhilarating. I don't think I've ever been more scared and excited for anything in my entire life. Needless to say, I've never thought I'd have my first real experience at school. How nice.
The bell to say that the lunch cafeteria was closing had toned, and we regained our composures. I got his email address and a picture at the end. Not the best picture I should say. But whatever. He said to email him when he gets home. He'll send me his number when he gets there.
You can totally tell from this picture that I just got laid.
Please try to ignore the fact that my teeth are a horrible shade of yellow, and the horrible cuts on my head. I bumped into a table the yesterday and those are scabs and bruises from it.
- Flushed cheeks
- Bruised lips
- Messy tie & uneven buttons
This is how I look with my hair up, normally. I know it's still kind of bad, but oh well.