(no subject)
holy crap, it's only the 6th of december?
my god, how the fuck am i going to tough it out 8 more days?
this has been the most horrible day ever.
i can't even remember a day where i have wanted so passionately to die.
this morning, i woke up, went to school and was made fun of for having an american accent.
nothing that doesn't happen every day.
except today, they decided in addition to making my morning horrible, they would make my entire day worth crying over.
they started to throw pens and pencaps at me, until i turned around and they threw an open white-out pen into my eye.
i had to be rushed to matron.
they didn't even fucking apologise.
the teacher didn't even do anything. he just said "that was really immature guys. sit down, shut up."
when i came home, i did my homework, watched tv.
and then burst into tears.
you guys, honestly:
it doesn't help that my life back in california is slowly tearing apart
if you guys really wanted to help, you'd stop making me worry every damned second about you all.
i can't handle the people calling me names, the people making fun of me all the time.
it's immature and inexcusable.
i'm not used to being left out of the loop. i'm used to being "popular" and having people accept me with open arms because i was just like everyone else. apparently now that i'm in an new environment, and being american is such a big deal, i have to cope with being anti-social and depressed all the time.
i am going to be so fucked up when i get back home.
i am going to have to rebuild my entire social life again from scratch
and not only that, i'm going to have to learn how to be outgoing again.
i very nearly considered hanging myself today by the edge of my staircase.
merry fucking christmas.
my god, how the fuck am i going to tough it out 8 more days?
this has been the most horrible day ever.
i can't even remember a day where i have wanted so passionately to die.
this morning, i woke up, went to school and was made fun of for having an american accent.
nothing that doesn't happen every day.
except today, they decided in addition to making my morning horrible, they would make my entire day worth crying over.
they started to throw pens and pencaps at me, until i turned around and they threw an open white-out pen into my eye.
i had to be rushed to matron.
they didn't even fucking apologise.
the teacher didn't even do anything. he just said "that was really immature guys. sit down, shut up."
when i came home, i did my homework, watched tv.
and then burst into tears.
you guys, honestly:
it doesn't help that my life back in california is slowly tearing apart
if you guys really wanted to help, you'd stop making me worry every damned second about you all.
i can't handle the people calling me names, the people making fun of me all the time.
it's immature and inexcusable.
i'm not used to being left out of the loop. i'm used to being "popular" and having people accept me with open arms because i was just like everyone else. apparently now that i'm in an new environment, and being american is such a big deal, i have to cope with being anti-social and depressed all the time.
i am going to be so fucked up when i get back home.
i am going to have to rebuild my entire social life again from scratch
and not only that, i'm going to have to learn how to be outgoing again.
i very nearly considered hanging myself today by the edge of my staircase.
merry fucking christmas.