Rainy Days...

[rawsugar]

I hate this weather, I just get so down and like grumpy when it rains and stuff. And i just make the situations worse bc im in a bad mood. I'm sorry for that today, you didnt deserve me bitching at you....and I was pouty all day until i went to my grammas. I love her to death shes the cutest lil thing. But i walk in and see my whole family and i mean they are just the best. And i just hug my aunt, and shes just so comforting. I dont kno why but i always to to her. Shes so cool, and understands, and is alot younger so i kinda look to her as an older sister in a way, but shes still protective, and i duno. And then my other aunt is just this teddy bear you can drown in bc her hugs are just awesome. You just like cuddle with her and she always kisses my forehead and i duno its just the best feeling. and my uncles and grandpa are just the type that give you a quick kiss on the cheek but they are so cute anyway. My one uncle is so protective because im his only niece and its awesome bc hes huge, and always tells me "If anyone ever messes with you I'll take care of them" my brothers arent protective like you would think older brothers are, but he is so that makes up for it. And then theres my gramma..who is this tiny lil thing thats shorter than me (hard to believe huh?) but she is...and shes just so adorable. She has so much love in her and is so caring and i cant even explain it. Im like about to cry bc i dont know what i would do without her. You can always lay on her lap and she will play with your hair and always has the best food thats so bad for you, but u eat it anyways..and always has my favorites. and is the best cook, and is i dont know, the best. and shes making me fleece pajama pants :o) im so excited. and she is always there to fix my clothes and my homecoming and holiday ball and prom dresses. i dont kno how many shirts ive brought to her bc they are coming unsewn or something or other. And all my dresses i mean just in high school so far shes fixed my prom dress freshman year, my holiday ball dress sophmore year, and my homecoming dress sophmore year. she has two more lined up this year too...my holiday ball and prom dresses. She can just make anyone family and love them like her own. My whole family can. Like tonight Tony wasnt there..and sometimes he is...but when hes not they always ask "Wheres Tony tonight?" and "Your all alone? Where's the boyfriend?" and "Tony didnt come?" "Tony's busy tonight?" and they all asked "Hows Tonys ribs?" "How is Tony feeling? I heard he got hurt" It just floors me how lucky i am bc my family is amazing. I dont kno what i would do without each of them. I dont want that day to come too soon...and when it does, it WILL be too soon. I love them all so much. And even my brothers...ones in college and i miss him alot bc hes my sanity sometimes just bc hes my age and understands somewhat..and my other bc even tho we dont get along great and arent that close i love him more than life itself...and cant even express how i feel for my family. And my parents are the ultimate. I sat on my moms lap today which i havent done since i was little..and it just was like i miss her so much. And i was sitting next to my daddy on the couch because i was cold so he was cuddly with me..and i miss that too. When i was little i was daddys little girl, and i guess while i was growing up, i forgot that they were always there for me. My daddy knew everything when i was little, and could fix anything. And he still can. I kno he may not kno everything, but he knows a whole lot...And he cares for me and my family more than anything. And my mommy too. She is there to dry my tears and sit with me when im upset...but lately ive shut them all out. And thats not right on my part. And i regret it. But tonight i realized how much i love them, and how i forgot that. But without them i would never be the person i am. Im proud of who i am, because they taught me right from wrong, and good from bad. And i know that no matter what they love me for me, even if I'm not the valadictorian at graduation, or the star athlete, or the best at anything. But i will always be the best daughter they ever had...concidering im the only one. So why make it an experience thats like pulling teeth? I mean i give my dad gray hairs..i kno i do, its in my job description. But the white ones..and the ones in his shower drain...well maybe i should start reversing that. *Tears* i feel so much better now. I love my family so much, and i kno that when i have a family of my own someday, i kno how i want it to be. Because i have a great example to live from...

<3 amez