totally normal, for a crazy person
Last night, a friend approached me and asked to talk because she had perceived me as being distant in the past year. This friend is a top therapist in her field, and I know she doesn't rush to judgement. I told her that I had never been angry or anything, just that after I left the orchestra all sorts of stuff that had been pushed down inside me due to the massive overload of stress and responsibility at the orchestra came up and I actually had a terrible year. The cool thing about it is that her reply was essentially "that makes total sense, it's what happens when you get rid of a huge source of stress and tension." So i'm glad to know that even though i'm a crazy composer who suffers from clinical depression, i'm still normal. Yay.