May 4, 2009 - January 29, 2010; Thank you for the love, Ejay.
Almost nine months of a crazy roller coaster and etc. No, I am not giving up on love. I still believe in love (: I don't think every guy in this world are jerks. I just think they're rare. Yup, you guys have guessed it. Ejay and I are officially over. This time, there's no chances of getting back together since he has no more feelings for me. I think I'm losing it too. I don't hate him. I still have so much love for him--- as a best friend? (x Honestly, I want to hate the guy. I can't though. He's Ejay. I just love him like that. As his ex girlfriend, I slightly have hatred for him XD As his best friend before that, I slightly regret going out with him. Now, we can't really go back to the amazing best friends tandem we were.
I'll probably still be slightly jealous of other girls trynna make a move on him. Why? Cause he was mine once. He was mine first (x He has a ton of girls after him and I have nobody. My self esteem went down even more. It's like the feeling I wasn't good enough. I want to say I'm perfectly fine, but I'm not. I want to say it's not a big deal, but to me it is. My first relationship. My first ever guy best friend turned boyfriend turned I don't even know anymore.
2010 is already crazy. I hope to meet many amazing people who will become my friends. I prefer boys but girls would be fine too (x I'm not saying I'm already looking for another boyfriend because no, I'm not. I'm not mentally prepared for that but I'm currently vulnerable. Anyone is welcome to walk into my heart. I actually want a guy best friend who I won't fall for at all and he won't fall for me kinda thing. Like I want that perfect chemistry I have with Marissa. I want to have the same chemistry with a guy and yet not be in love.
I'll probably still be slightly jealous of other girls trynna make a move on him. Why? Cause he was mine once. He was mine first (x He has a ton of girls after him and I have nobody. My self esteem went down even more. It's like the feeling I wasn't good enough. I want to say I'm perfectly fine, but I'm not. I want to say it's not a big deal, but to me it is. My first relationship. My first ever guy best friend turned boyfriend turned I don't even know anymore.
2010 is already crazy. I hope to meet many amazing people who will become my friends. I prefer boys but girls would be fine too (x I'm not saying I'm already looking for another boyfriend because no, I'm not. I'm not mentally prepared for that but I'm currently vulnerable. Anyone is welcome to walk into my heart. I actually want a guy best friend who I won't fall for at all and he won't fall for me kinda thing. Like I want that perfect chemistry I have with Marissa. I want to have the same chemistry with a guy and yet not be in love.