Dec 31, 2009 11:32
Well I don't really remember if today or yesterday since he hung up and it was already 12 am? or pass that~ So yeah. This is how I'm ending 2009, dear f-list. I'm ending it with me being single(: Ejay's too young and I should've known but I kept looking pass the age matter. Now we're over and I'm not feeling anything. I had enough of my crying earlier. I'm not happy but I'm not sad. I like to think that I'm "Happy" and I'm "okay" but that was my first relationship [: It was going to be 8 months on the 4th of January ~ He acts as if nothing's wrong so --- so am I :D I want to hate him so much because of the things he said. I never knew he could say such things. But that was only 2 sentences or so XD I mean, I've known him longer. I guess I think he's still a nice guy. I felt bad because he was my ONLY guy best friend. We have been for like 2 yrs now or so and then yeah~ We broke up once before and I cried more and was really sad, but this time around, NOTHING. It's like maybe it really isn't meant to be. Maybe we just happened and that's all there is to us. I still want to say I still love him as much as before but I would be lying I don't. I don't which makes me sad because he really was my best friend. He knew almost everything. Now I'm getting watery eyes T-----T I don't know if it's because I lost my first boyfriend or my one and only guy best friend who's been with me through everything. He did love me and take care of me , but according to him he "stopped" loving me 2-3 days ago XD Now I'm crying XD I feel terrible. I could've done better. I told my best friend I'm okay and I was until now.
life,
ejay