(no subject)
I know Mike will never see this, so I don't know why I'm bothering with this. But I need a way to vent.
Remember when I admired you for so long and you didn't even know? Remember when I finally got the courage to talk to you? Remember how we spent so many summer days talking and talking and talking; and laughing. Remember on that first day of school when I saw you and we both smiled so big and I didn't notice anything around me but you? Remember when you'd call me to say goodnight? Remember how I could tell you anything and when I was around you nothing else mattered? Remember when you first started to have feelings for me, and it was like little-kid love? Remember when you took me downtown and we walked around? Remember when we sat in CVS and played with all the Halloween things? Remember when we sat outside in the parking lot taking pictures? Remember when you took me to the movies and you jumped at all the scary parts? Remember when I rested my head on your shoulder and it made me feel like I didn't want to be anywhere else in the world but with you? Remember our first kiss when we both started laughing? And remember how incredible it was when our lips touched? Remember how we sat in your truck and just laughed and smiled at each other? Remember when we went to your house and you tried to teach me how to play pool but I wouldn't let you? Remember when we sat on your couch together in the dark, holding each other's hand and just talked until it was time to leave? Remember when we layed on my bed side by side and you sang "Just The Two Of Us" to me? Remember how you teased me about falling asleep on you during the movie? Remember how I kicked you off the bed because you started to fall asleep? Remember how you tried to make me let you sleep over? Remember when you looked into my eyes, pushed my hair behind my ear and kissed me full on the mouth? Remember when we layed on my bed with your arms around me, in complete silence, but being so happy to be together? Remember when you wouldn't stop touching my hair so I hit you for making it frizzy, and we both just laughed? Remember how you kissed me a million times, and it felt so good? Remember when you had to leave and we were both so upset that the night was over? Remember when you kissed me goodnight? Remember when you used to call me everyday, even if it was just for five minutes, just being able to hear your voice kept me set for the rest of the day? Remember when you used to leave cute little IM's my to my away message? Remember when you would kiss me before every class, in front of everyone? And you didn't care what they thought? Remember when we went to the dance together, and we sat outside holding hands and you kissed me on the cheek and I melted like butter on a summer day? Remember when you danced with me to "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" and you started to sing to me? Remember how you weren't embarrassed to kiss me in front of everyone at that dance? Remember how I felt so happy at the end of the night, yet so sad to leave? Remember how in a matter of two days your feelings for me stopped? Remember how you ignored me, and avoided me for a week straight? Remember how you weren't honest with me, even though I was with you? Remember how you made me go from feeling like the luckiest, and happiest girl in the world, to feeling like the ugliest, and the most depressed girl in the world? Isn't it funny how you don't care at all? Isn't it funny how you made me cry? And cry even more!? Remember how I finally fell in love with you? Isn't it funny that I'm ashamed to say I'm in love with someone like you?
Last night Mike talked to me. He told me the reason he hasn't talked to me as much, hasn't come to my locker and has been avoiding me is because he thinks it's better if we're just friends for right now. He told me that we could still be good friends and hang out. But the both of us know that whenever we hang out, it's just going to end up with us kissing. But knowing Mike, we'll never hang out or kiss again. Honestly, I don't know how in just ONE weekend you lose your feelings for someone. I think someone may have said something to him, or he was just using me.
I'm not gonna lie though. I didn't cry at all or get upset at all last night when he told me that. I stayed calm, and I went to bed and slept soundly. The next day I was happy. I'm still not over him at all, but my eyes are dry :D
Remember when I admired you for so long and you didn't even know? Remember when I finally got the courage to talk to you? Remember how we spent so many summer days talking and talking and talking; and laughing. Remember on that first day of school when I saw you and we both smiled so big and I didn't notice anything around me but you? Remember when you'd call me to say goodnight? Remember how I could tell you anything and when I was around you nothing else mattered? Remember when you first started to have feelings for me, and it was like little-kid love? Remember when you took me downtown and we walked around? Remember when we sat in CVS and played with all the Halloween things? Remember when we sat outside in the parking lot taking pictures? Remember when you took me to the movies and you jumped at all the scary parts? Remember when I rested my head on your shoulder and it made me feel like I didn't want to be anywhere else in the world but with you? Remember our first kiss when we both started laughing? And remember how incredible it was when our lips touched? Remember how we sat in your truck and just laughed and smiled at each other? Remember when we went to your house and you tried to teach me how to play pool but I wouldn't let you? Remember when we sat on your couch together in the dark, holding each other's hand and just talked until it was time to leave? Remember when we layed on my bed side by side and you sang "Just The Two Of Us" to me? Remember how you teased me about falling asleep on you during the movie? Remember how I kicked you off the bed because you started to fall asleep? Remember how you tried to make me let you sleep over? Remember when you looked into my eyes, pushed my hair behind my ear and kissed me full on the mouth? Remember when we layed on my bed with your arms around me, in complete silence, but being so happy to be together? Remember when you wouldn't stop touching my hair so I hit you for making it frizzy, and we both just laughed? Remember how you kissed me a million times, and it felt so good? Remember when you had to leave and we were both so upset that the night was over? Remember when you kissed me goodnight? Remember when you used to call me everyday, even if it was just for five minutes, just being able to hear your voice kept me set for the rest of the day? Remember when you used to leave cute little IM's my to my away message? Remember when you would kiss me before every class, in front of everyone? And you didn't care what they thought? Remember when we went to the dance together, and we sat outside holding hands and you kissed me on the cheek and I melted like butter on a summer day? Remember when you danced with me to "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" and you started to sing to me? Remember how you weren't embarrassed to kiss me in front of everyone at that dance? Remember how I felt so happy at the end of the night, yet so sad to leave? Remember how in a matter of two days your feelings for me stopped? Remember how you ignored me, and avoided me for a week straight? Remember how you weren't honest with me, even though I was with you? Remember how you made me go from feeling like the luckiest, and happiest girl in the world, to feeling like the ugliest, and the most depressed girl in the world? Isn't it funny how you don't care at all? Isn't it funny how you made me cry? And cry even more!? Remember how I finally fell in love with you? Isn't it funny that I'm ashamed to say I'm in love with someone like you?
Last night Mike talked to me. He told me the reason he hasn't talked to me as much, hasn't come to my locker and has been avoiding me is because he thinks it's better if we're just friends for right now. He told me that we could still be good friends and hang out. But the both of us know that whenever we hang out, it's just going to end up with us kissing. But knowing Mike, we'll never hang out or kiss again. Honestly, I don't know how in just ONE weekend you lose your feelings for someone. I think someone may have said something to him, or he was just using me.
I'm not gonna lie though. I didn't cry at all or get upset at all last night when he told me that. I stayed calm, and I went to bed and slept soundly. The next day I was happy. I'm still not over him at all, but my eyes are dry :D