Hahah, there's actually shark repellent now!
http://apnews.excite.com/article/20040731/D845FHC00.html So now I can get some and spread it all over myself while saying, "That's good shark repellent."
Only the fans of The Critic would find humor in this though.
For more widespread audience appeal, I got a call from Mediacom saying they can install my cable and internet on MONDAY! Woo.