>> A waste.
I feel like a big waste of space right now. I'm not needed where I want to be needed, & where I am.. I could really care LESS about. Could that be a bad thing? I just need.. to be wanted where I can be successful & where I wanna be at? I -think- I'm going through a down phase.
PROM was last Friday. Would've been so much better.. if an "enemy" of mine wasn't trying to do my date up his butt, ya heard. It was just highly irritating & I wanted to die, or kill her, or just burst into tears. It was MY prom, MY senior prom.. she was a freshman. UGH. I'm going to get over it & not let it get to me.. but for now, it's the main topic in my mind. She apologized to me yesterday & it was only because Katie {her "best" friend.} called her & told her she was disapointed in the way she took advantage of going to prom. & when she came up to talk to me, I couldn't stand up for myself or say anything about it. I told her Kyle had a girlfriend & that made her feel "grosser" about it. Whatev, I'll get over. I just need to get away. I felt sick when Katie told me that "the girl" was going to apologize.. I wanted to hide.
I graduate in 16 days. Holy..
I can't wait to get all my college stuff & take SO many pictures of everything over the summer. I'm going to make collages & scrapbooks &.. do everything I can to help me remember the wonderful friends that I have. {Not the ones that try to screw you..} I'm getting excited to go to school.. I'll be 1 & 1/2 hours away, so people will visit me. They won't have any reason to NOT visit me. Kyle better come. & maybe Katie? & Erin? & Chris? &.. all my lovelys who get free time from their college work.
Stacey's going to Miami. WHAT!? That's so far. It's gonna be weird. I'll still be going to the Empress over the next 4 years.. & she'll be in Miami. I'll be there without her, it sucks to think about that. I really wish that she had chosen NYU, but I guess I just want her to be happy. & I know that she will be, sooo.. YAY!
I want for next year: a laptop with wireless connection & a digital camera. What sweet graduation gifts those woud be. ;o)
I hate the way people treat each other.
I hate the way I can treat people.
".. I'm losing at this game. No fair!
Why don't you seem to care?
Lack of consequence has got me making decisions,
based upon truth or dare decision making.
No faking..
Oh! Oh, Goddamnit.
I think I've lost it & I think that I've lost you."
Oh, Goddamnit - Hot Hot Heat
<3