These are funny:
In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Stop being a productive member of society.
Get your resolution here
In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Find out who I got that STD from.
Get your resolution here
In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Eat at least 2 pigeons a week.
Get your resolution here
In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Spend more time surfing porn at work.
Get your resolution here
In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Bang the girl who lives next door.
Get your resolution here
In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Become a slut.
Get your resolution here
In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Invent a better pizza.
Get your resolution here
In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Molest more hamsters.
Get your resolution here