i cant believe i'm writing in this
i really cant tell what i miss anymore. do i miss her, or do i simply miss the company? thinking about this sort of thing gives me a killer headache. could things ever be the same again? will they ever be the same again? its the small things i miss. i miss writing notes and drawings to eachother in a small notebook on a boat headed toward istanbul. i miss that one time we baked the worst cookies ever. i miss eating sandwiches in brookdale oark with her and then plaing on the swings.i miss writing songs directed to her or about her that only i really knew about. i miss falling asleep next to her while watching really terrible movies...
but i dont know what i want anymore. what the fuck is going to happen when i get back home from england in just over a month? am i doomed to an eternity of awkward hugs and confused feelings? i hate this. i think about this for hours upon hours everyday. i hate this.
i guess england is fun. its going to be weird leaving london. on the one hand ive had a lot of fun here and this has been such an amazing experience, but on the other i want to go home. i want to be able to see my friends, my family, my cats, my bicycle, and my amps. its been two months more or less and i figured out one thing about myself; i'm not cut out for city life. the past few weeks and weeks to come have been and will be filled with feelings of anticipation. my parets come on thursday and then in 2 weeks joe and ryan come. i need to see those kids, talk to those kids, laugh with those kids. get drunk with those kids, and reminisce with those kids. its been too fucking long.
the more and more i think, the more and more twisted this experience becomes. and although i don't know what i miss when it comes to a certain girl, i do know i miss playing with ian and ryan. peter blood may rise from the grave over christmas break. get excited. (or at least give us a second chance.....)
but i dont know what i want anymore. what the fuck is going to happen when i get back home from england in just over a month? am i doomed to an eternity of awkward hugs and confused feelings? i hate this. i think about this for hours upon hours everyday. i hate this.
i guess england is fun. its going to be weird leaving london. on the one hand ive had a lot of fun here and this has been such an amazing experience, but on the other i want to go home. i want to be able to see my friends, my family, my cats, my bicycle, and my amps. its been two months more or less and i figured out one thing about myself; i'm not cut out for city life. the past few weeks and weeks to come have been and will be filled with feelings of anticipation. my parets come on thursday and then in 2 weeks joe and ryan come. i need to see those kids, talk to those kids, laugh with those kids. get drunk with those kids, and reminisce with those kids. its been too fucking long.
the more and more i think, the more and more twisted this experience becomes. and although i don't know what i miss when it comes to a certain girl, i do know i miss playing with ian and ryan. peter blood may rise from the grave over christmas break. get excited. (or at least give us a second chance.....)