# 2
Came across this one journal entry by my "boyfriend" who I will not name (lol) -
-"Remember when we were just kids. All we had to do was worry about coloring inside the lines. It's not so different nowadays...only the lines are everywhere and we're running out of colors."-
True. It was so easy and simple back then.
All there is to worry about is "what games to play today", "what should I draw here?" "which colour should I use" or "what to eat today". Ok, the last one is still something I had to give deep thought about every day.
It's kinda sad, you know. Because I don't have a childhood friend I can talk about, unlike most people. When I was little, I moved around a lot. And because we were so little at that time we have yet figured out how to keep in touch regularly / consistently (i.e letters - so old school) and it was still a time where technology is still limited, right. So yeah, I only have high school and uni friends that I still keep in touch and remained close with till now. (I'm not good at keeping r/ships alive, so bear with me, I'm trying to improve! xP)
Childhood: I can't remember much about my childhood. I feel most of memories stored in my brain started (by this I mean things I can point out and remember when/where/with who it happened) probably around when I was 10.
It was the time when I had to move back to where I am now, from where I was. It was the time when everything wasn't as they seemed to be. Or what I thought how I've always felt like it seemed to be.
The event that made me grew up faster than I expected. But I'm glad it happened. Because it made me who I am today.
Some hate me for who I am, I know that for a fact.
"Cold-hearted" "Dry" "Arrogant" are some of the words that has been used to describe me.
Of course, only those who are close to my self and my heart knows the real me.
I had a rough life, I pulled through numerous times of crisis. I'm a first-born. I learn how to take care of myself, and my family on my own.
When I was still in schools, I'd try to solve and understand my homeworks on my own without asking for help from others, until I finally gave in and decided I needed help, of which I must not be hesitant to ask for, cause I need to settle this. So that I can move on to my other works.
And I still practice that even today, applying them to my adulthood (i.e work, lol). Which is why it bothers me that my co-workers can't show me the same level of willingness and effort to learn, it will benefit all of us. If you don't understand something, try figuring out the reasons and answers yourself, then you go and ask people. Are you afraid of sounding dumb?
I am more afraid of becoming dumb, than being scolded for not knowing but can learn and know more.
I don't expect them to be perfect, for I am not perfect either.
But please, THINK.
If you can't use a colour pencil, use a crayon.
(not sure how it got to this point, the beginning and the ending is just... Hmm... hahah! but that's just how I feel right now.)
photos: dreamstime.com / brainstuck.com