Family?
So I'm sick of my family. I'm sick of the drama that they inflict on my life every day. I'm tired of being the strong one. I'm tired of being the only one that cares that we stay together. Parts of me want to sell everything I own and run away. Other parts of me want to grab up each family member and put them safely in my pocket so I can keep them with me forever. So here are my real thoughts of each family member
**My Mother....she annoys me. She called me today all pissed that my grandfather is confused about why he should cancel his cell phone and my brothers cell phone. Well her's is the one with a year contract and the other two don't. she annoys me because she feels this sick attachment to her husband. I hate him. I really do. She says how she doesn't want a man who controls her and yet she stays with one who makes her quit her job. She says how she has always been there for me and my brother and yet she really hasn't. I hate when she gets mad at us for something and says " I didn't raise you that way" well duh...YOU DIDN'T RAISE US!!!!! My grandparents raised me, and I helped raise my brother. (That's probably why he's smarter than me. Because I transfered my intelligence to him) well that would be true if we could do that LOL...Anyway...back to my mother. She annoys me...She constantly says she doesn't need a man, but when she's in a relationship, which the world knows she's had enough of them, she does everything her husband wants. She went back on the road it pissed him off, and she quit AGAIN!. UGH annoying. She doesn't really have a right to tell Russel what he can and can't do...If he wants to go out with his friends, then my permission is all he should need. I only want him to do his chores. And I don't ask him to do much, dishes, keep his room clean. that kind of stuff. But no I give him permission to go and she gets pissed. THat's only because she can't rule her own life, so she needs to try to rule someone elses. Russel is smarter and got a better head on his shoulders than she does, and it scares her. so now on to
**My Brother...Russel, he's smart and has a great future ahead of him, I know he struggles in life. With loving someone who doesn't entirely feel the same. Life will get better I think he should totally go full force to College even if he starts at a community college. And he should do Journalism, and Creative writting..I love to read what he writes. the words he uses, puts me in a trance, it envelopes me into the world he creates. He is what makes me humble, I think that I would have killed myself a long time ago had it not been for him. He is my savior. Like last night, when I told him I had another Misscarage He looked at me, I saw the tears. He told me it would be ok, then he held me. Warmed my soul with his love. He is the best little brother a girl could have. Even when he is annoying me, I wouldn't trade him for the world. I know he will succeed, he makes me want to paint, he makes me want to do photography like I have always wanted. He makes me eager to go out and make something of myself. He is the inspiration. He will be a GREAT uncle when the goddess finally gives me a baby to keep. He is also the only reason my grandma's death hasn't consumed me. God I miss her so much. She was the pilar of strength in our lives. I feel like I could just crumble under the weight of the world. Ok enough tears for today.....
** My grandfather.....I don't know how I wil handle it when he passes It scares me every day to think that it will happen. I fear I will wake up one morning and his pressence will have left us. I know it will be doubly Hard on Russel. One reason why I needed to move back home. I love you dad. I love you Russel
Ok that's enough...I can't write anymore. It's killing me here. The emotions running through my body are a tragic display of my life. I'm being crushed under the responsibility of life. I would take all the hardship I had in High School to go back into time and relive those semi care free years. At least then Russel would listen to me, and my grandma was here.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
**My Mother....she annoys me. She called me today all pissed that my grandfather is confused about why he should cancel his cell phone and my brothers cell phone. Well her's is the one with a year contract and the other two don't. she annoys me because she feels this sick attachment to her husband. I hate him. I really do. She says how she doesn't want a man who controls her and yet she stays with one who makes her quit her job. She says how she has always been there for me and my brother and yet she really hasn't. I hate when she gets mad at us for something and says " I didn't raise you that way" well duh...YOU DIDN'T RAISE US!!!!! My grandparents raised me, and I helped raise my brother. (That's probably why he's smarter than me. Because I transfered my intelligence to him) well that would be true if we could do that LOL...Anyway...back to my mother. She annoys me...She constantly says she doesn't need a man, but when she's in a relationship, which the world knows she's had enough of them, she does everything her husband wants. She went back on the road it pissed him off, and she quit AGAIN!. UGH annoying. She doesn't really have a right to tell Russel what he can and can't do...If he wants to go out with his friends, then my permission is all he should need. I only want him to do his chores. And I don't ask him to do much, dishes, keep his room clean. that kind of stuff. But no I give him permission to go and she gets pissed. THat's only because she can't rule her own life, so she needs to try to rule someone elses. Russel is smarter and got a better head on his shoulders than she does, and it scares her. so now on to
**My Brother...Russel, he's smart and has a great future ahead of him, I know he struggles in life. With loving someone who doesn't entirely feel the same. Life will get better I think he should totally go full force to College even if he starts at a community college. And he should do Journalism, and Creative writting..I love to read what he writes. the words he uses, puts me in a trance, it envelopes me into the world he creates. He is what makes me humble, I think that I would have killed myself a long time ago had it not been for him. He is my savior. Like last night, when I told him I had another Misscarage He looked at me, I saw the tears. He told me it would be ok, then he held me. Warmed my soul with his love. He is the best little brother a girl could have. Even when he is annoying me, I wouldn't trade him for the world. I know he will succeed, he makes me want to paint, he makes me want to do photography like I have always wanted. He makes me eager to go out and make something of myself. He is the inspiration. He will be a GREAT uncle when the goddess finally gives me a baby to keep. He is also the only reason my grandma's death hasn't consumed me. God I miss her so much. She was the pilar of strength in our lives. I feel like I could just crumble under the weight of the world. Ok enough tears for today.....
** My grandfather.....I don't know how I wil handle it when he passes It scares me every day to think that it will happen. I fear I will wake up one morning and his pressence will have left us. I know it will be doubly Hard on Russel. One reason why I needed to move back home. I love you dad. I love you Russel
Ok that's enough...I can't write anymore. It's killing me here. The emotions running through my body are a tragic display of my life. I'm being crushed under the responsibility of life. I would take all the hardship I had in High School to go back into time and relive those semi care free years. At least then Russel would listen to me, and my grandma was here.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.