(no subject)
Everything seems to fall apart all at once. You think you know someone really well, and then they completely surprise you. And not exactly in a good way.
One of my best male friends recently told me that he's falling in love with me. Argh. Oh, don't get me wrong, I love him to bits. But not like that. I mean, hell, he's closer to a brother to me than anything. The love that I have for Teddy isn't in any way romantic. ((No, his name isn't Teddy, that's just my nickname for him. Hush.)) I tried really hard to let him down gently, but I think I may have hurt him anyway. Argh. I try really hard to avoid hurting people I care about, and yet I constantly manage to hurt someone. **Sigh**
Why is flirting such a bad thing?! I can't honestly see that. I just can't. Flirting is just harmless fun and games, that's all. Why do people get so upset about it? Honestly?? I mean, my gods, so your boy/girlfriend flirted with some chick/dude. Ooh, big deal. If you get jealous that easily, you're just THAT insecure. Have more faith in your boy/girlfriend. Gyah...
And then there's Mike.. Oi, where to begin on him? We went out for a little while. Everything went way too fast, and we were engaged for a short time. ((People tend not to believe that, though.)) No details, but things got screwed up, and we broke up. We've somehow managed to be "just friends" for the last two months or so. Around a week ago, he confessed that he still loves me. And that what he did was really stupid, and he shouldn't have done it.. ((All of the right things to say, of course.)) He wants me back. ((I should let it be known now that most of my friends completely despise him for hurting me. They would all be HORRIBLY against us getting back together.))
So here's the thing. I am still madly in love with Mike. I haven't been able to stop thinking about him even for a second since the day we met. I want him back. With every fiber of my being, I want him back. It hurts that we aren't together. I mean, it honestly physically HURTS. I NEED him.
I honestly believe that people can change for the better. I believe that you should give people a second chance, forgive them. But my friends don't see it that way. Most of them don't think people can change. They think that I'm just going to get hurt again, so it isn't worth trying. Argh.
**Bitter laugh** I am going to get yelled at by practically everyone who reads this entry. Which is probably why I'm writing it in the middle of the night while no one is on.. Coward? Me? HELL YES!!
Well, I believe that's enough lamenting for now. Wish me luck, hope I don't get killed by friends who are doing it for my own good, aye?
All I care about is you and me and us and now.
-Lexxi
One of my best male friends recently told me that he's falling in love with me. Argh. Oh, don't get me wrong, I love him to bits. But not like that. I mean, hell, he's closer to a brother to me than anything. The love that I have for Teddy isn't in any way romantic. ((No, his name isn't Teddy, that's just my nickname for him. Hush.)) I tried really hard to let him down gently, but I think I may have hurt him anyway. Argh. I try really hard to avoid hurting people I care about, and yet I constantly manage to hurt someone. **Sigh**
Why is flirting such a bad thing?! I can't honestly see that. I just can't. Flirting is just harmless fun and games, that's all. Why do people get so upset about it? Honestly?? I mean, my gods, so your boy/girlfriend flirted with some chick/dude. Ooh, big deal. If you get jealous that easily, you're just THAT insecure. Have more faith in your boy/girlfriend. Gyah...
And then there's Mike.. Oi, where to begin on him? We went out for a little while. Everything went way too fast, and we were engaged for a short time. ((People tend not to believe that, though.)) No details, but things got screwed up, and we broke up. We've somehow managed to be "just friends" for the last two months or so. Around a week ago, he confessed that he still loves me. And that what he did was really stupid, and he shouldn't have done it.. ((All of the right things to say, of course.)) He wants me back. ((I should let it be known now that most of my friends completely despise him for hurting me. They would all be HORRIBLY against us getting back together.))
So here's the thing. I am still madly in love with Mike. I haven't been able to stop thinking about him even for a second since the day we met. I want him back. With every fiber of my being, I want him back. It hurts that we aren't together. I mean, it honestly physically HURTS. I NEED him.
I honestly believe that people can change for the better. I believe that you should give people a second chance, forgive them. But my friends don't see it that way. Most of them don't think people can change. They think that I'm just going to get hurt again, so it isn't worth trying. Argh.
**Bitter laugh** I am going to get yelled at by practically everyone who reads this entry. Which is probably why I'm writing it in the middle of the night while no one is on.. Coward? Me? HELL YES!!
Well, I believe that's enough lamenting for now. Wish me luck, hope I don't get killed by friends who are doing it for my own good, aye?
All I care about is you and me and us and now.
-Lexxi