I'm So Rad.
I went perusin' through my old black notebook. It's almost filled up now, but since October I have switched to a green notebook for journaling. Anyway, I went back to read some of the last entries that I have in my black notebook, and I found an entry from August 27 that I only vaguely remember having written. I thought it was really cute and honest, so I figure I'll share this conversation I had with myself to the world. You know, to prove my sanity.
"So let's get to know each other. You and me, let's do it. Take yourself away from you worlds for just a moment and sit with me. This isn't about being outside of everyone or inside the Everyone; it's about being inside and outside of Me. Of you. No matter where you are, what you say we stick together?
"We'll guide each other, even if it means searching for our guides together. I think our dualities are dying to get to know each other. We can work out boundaries together and nurture each other and accept each other. I think you shut me out somewhere along the lines because you felt I make you vulnerable. So let's reason with each other this time. I'll calm you down if you let me feel things, and in the end, we'll inspire each other.
"I know you want to be happy, and we can make each other shine like a new pair of pants. I love you, kid, and I think you like being called kid, even when you're feeling gloriously neurotic. You need me in order to love things, and I need you in order to enjoy loving things. And this is that wholeness thing we've both been yappin' about. Hey, I don't like tea either, so we won't be superhuman, but we can be superAmy.
"Right now we don't know if we're ready for that boundaries thing with food. Sounds nice and devastating at the same time right now. Perhaps if we consult each other on the matter continuously it'll sound much more pleasant than tragic. Meanwhile, we'll be unsure together.
See what happens when we work together? Good entry today, Miss Walls."
What the hell does it mean to shine like a new pair of pants?
On a related note, I made my two-month anniversary on Thursday of not needing radical behavior with food. Still doing the gym thing and getting buff, but not losing a pound. Which is probably okay.
We share the same wind, but we land in different places.
"So let's get to know each other. You and me, let's do it. Take yourself away from you worlds for just a moment and sit with me. This isn't about being outside of everyone or inside the Everyone; it's about being inside and outside of Me. Of you. No matter where you are, what you say we stick together?
"We'll guide each other, even if it means searching for our guides together. I think our dualities are dying to get to know each other. We can work out boundaries together and nurture each other and accept each other. I think you shut me out somewhere along the lines because you felt I make you vulnerable. So let's reason with each other this time. I'll calm you down if you let me feel things, and in the end, we'll inspire each other.
"I know you want to be happy, and we can make each other shine like a new pair of pants. I love you, kid, and I think you like being called kid, even when you're feeling gloriously neurotic. You need me in order to love things, and I need you in order to enjoy loving things. And this is that wholeness thing we've both been yappin' about. Hey, I don't like tea either, so we won't be superhuman, but we can be superAmy.
"Right now we don't know if we're ready for that boundaries thing with food. Sounds nice and devastating at the same time right now. Perhaps if we consult each other on the matter continuously it'll sound much more pleasant than tragic. Meanwhile, we'll be unsure together.
See what happens when we work together? Good entry today, Miss Walls."
What the hell does it mean to shine like a new pair of pants?
On a related note, I made my two-month anniversary on Thursday of not needing radical behavior with food. Still doing the gym thing and getting buff, but not losing a pound. Which is probably okay.
We share the same wind, but we land in different places.