Aggro
Originally published at The Raw, The Cooked, and the Half Baked. Please leave any comments there.
I’m in a meeting today.
Ahmed, the guy who sits next to me, comes down to the meeting room and looks as if he needs to ask a question. I’m busy with something, so I give him the hold off, one second gesture, and finish up what I’m doing. He appears concerned. I conclude my part of the meeting, and figure I can answer his question while walking back to our desks.
“Did you move desks?” he asks.
“No…did they move me?”
There has been talk of us moving to a new location, a move many are resisting, myself in particular.
“Uh…there is somebody at your desk.”
That can’t be good. I figure to have a fight with facilities on my hand. I start walking faster.
When I get to my desk, I see a youngish kid, in full hip hop regalia (baggy shorts, black-on-black Yankees cap, shirt that says something illegible) sitting in my chair. He has a soda and folded up New York Post.
“Can I help you?” I ask. I don’t really want to help him, I want him out of my chair.
He slowly, speechlessly makes a motion to simulate typing.
“What are you doing here?”
No answer.
“Can I help you?” I ask, louder this time.
He points to the screen, which shows a login and my username. “Need password.” he says.
Wow, I.T. has gotten surly. No way in hell I’m giving him my password.
“WHY?” I shout.
“To get online”.
Then it occurs to me that he’s not from I.T. at all, and he’s not trying to move my desk downstairs.
Intruder alert! Intruder alert!
“Is…this a security issue?” I ask him. I can feel my shoulders squaring up and muscles tensing.
Long pause. “No.” he says, and then slowly gets up, moves a few desks away, and sits down.
I go to the lobby to get security. Ahmed is already there and says “we already called them”.
Jacob, who sits near Ahmed, is also there. “Is he gone?” asks Jacob.
“No…I think he’s at your desk now.” Jacob’s eyes get wide and his face goes a bit pale.
Jacob and Ahmed stay in the lobby. For absolutely no good reason, except perhaps excess testosterone, I go to Jacob’s desk where this stranger is sitting, stand at his side, squared shoulders, and stare directly at him.
I say nothing. That makes two of us. He stares back for a while, then looks away. I start to wonder why I’m doing this thing, basically recreating a scene that’s a cross between Office Space and Boyz in the Hood.
Security arrives, in the form of Manny.
“May I help you?” he asks the stranger. Sorry, I already tried that.
The stranger still doesn’t really react, even though Manny is larger than I am. But now sees that there are four guys staring at him. He gets up…slowly. Grabs his paper and soda, and starts to walk out. He leaves the office and we watch as he goes into the elevator.
The office is abuzz with questions of What Just Happened and How Did He Get In Here. It’s amusing to me how we all thought he might work here. Other people had interacted with him before I got there, and their main remark was that he was really unsocial even by programmer standards.
While everyone is having a good laugh, I’m wondering why I would even risk a fight over a chair and desk that isn’t even mine. Even after he left my chair, I kept on the case until he was gone. Nobody else felt the need to volunteer, they just sat at their desks and looked confused or worried.
Do I want to be a hero that bad?
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