The New Coke
At The Cinch the other night I was surprised when I was standing next to a younger acquaintance at the trough and he produced a tiny vial of cocaine (and, in clear violation of chewing gum ethics, didn’t offer me any). This was just after a drag performance that involved a bit of comedic miming around a baggie of white powder. Then, the next night, another friend told me about how tired he is of always having to be responsible at parties, how one night he just wanted to get “coked up.” Cocaine seems to be coming back in a huge way on the party scene, and I’ve read that this may have to do with the stepping up of hostilities between the military and guerillas in areas where it’s produced - they need more money, so more is being pushed in the consumer market. Aside from economic factors, though, coke seems to be making a comeback that is also culturally determined.
Among gay party boys you could probably track a shift from E to crystal to coke as the main party drugs. As Jeremy and I were talking about it the other night he made the point that E is a “big deal” drug - you do it, you get hammered, you dance and tell your boyfriend how beautiful he is, you romp around on the bed for a couple hours after coming home, do some bong hits, and then crawl under the sheets for some warm snugglies. E is about the special occasion, because you just can’t keep doing it all weekend (I know, I’ve tried), nor can you do it weekend after weekend without putting yourself in such a state that you cry over allergy medication commercials. Crystal gets you up and going, imparts some of the ego inflation of E, and has the added benefit of being something you can just keep doing, even if it does turn you into a zombie after about 48 hours. With the passing of meth out of fashion recently (meth mouth isn’t something you want to kiss), that only leaves coke for the gay boy party favor of choice. It’s cheap, it doesn’t have nearly the stigma of speed, and it’s even glamorous in an 80s kind of way.
It’s that association with the glam era of gay culture that I think has brought coke back with some force in San Francisco. When you look at the big gay party nights like Double Dutch Disco and Drunk and Horny, they’re all about the days when coke was king of the club drugs, well before E and crystal really even existed (the only people who did speed back in the day were total losers and beatniks, after all). Back some months ago I was at Bus Station John’s Tubesteak Connection at Aunt Charlies with a lil' red bumper in my pocket, and after a trip to the bathroom I came back and found everything to be just fabulous. That’s the whole vibe of that music and that era - weed, booze, coke. When I’m on the dancefloor at Drunk and Horny and I hear “He’s the Greatest Dancer” I flash back to all the usual disco associations, mirror balls and lines cut out on a mirror. Coke has become popular among gay boys in the same way as retro disco, because, I think, both evoke an era and a vibe for which gay boys are nostalgic. E is too much to deal with, crystal is too gross, so let’s do some coke, dance to some disco, and all feel fabulous, just like they did back in the day.
The unfortunate part of this is something that Jeremy and I also discussed - the fact that coke turns people into reptiles. When that dopamine buzz kicks in one's whole perspective turns inward - it's all about you, babe, and what you can get. For me, it brings out the worst aspects of my calculating, analytical nature, and if I've just gotten a bump from someone I start thinking about where I can get another. It also drives me away from interacting with other people - when I'm high on coke other people are just a distraction from whatever pleasure centers are whirring away deep in my reptile brain. It's all about me, me, me, gimme, gimme, gimme. Nothing could be as diametrically opposed to the loved-up sociability of E as coke.
I cannot take myself as the measure of all men, but I wonder if the shift from E to crystal to coke has changed the nature of how people relate to one another in the club scene. I can remember nights out at The End Up when everybody wanted to talk, hug, hang out, make friends, kiss, etc. Now, wherever I go, I get much more the feeling of people trying to hide or protect something, doling out whatever they have to only a select few. Coke engenders furtiveness and secrets, and the ego boost that goes with it revolves around feelings of power and dominance. It's all about lizard emotions, and at times I have this frightening image of being consumed by giant Komodo Dragons on the dancefloor.
I'm sure that eventually all this too will pass, and I'd say the signs are there already. Personally, I'd love a new drug, a new club, a new nightlife that's actually fun and happy and celebrates the here and now. Meanwhile I guess I'll just wait for those special occasions, and hope that the lizards don't get me first.
Among gay party boys you could probably track a shift from E to crystal to coke as the main party drugs. As Jeremy and I were talking about it the other night he made the point that E is a “big deal” drug - you do it, you get hammered, you dance and tell your boyfriend how beautiful he is, you romp around on the bed for a couple hours after coming home, do some bong hits, and then crawl under the sheets for some warm snugglies. E is about the special occasion, because you just can’t keep doing it all weekend (I know, I’ve tried), nor can you do it weekend after weekend without putting yourself in such a state that you cry over allergy medication commercials. Crystal gets you up and going, imparts some of the ego inflation of E, and has the added benefit of being something you can just keep doing, even if it does turn you into a zombie after about 48 hours. With the passing of meth out of fashion recently (meth mouth isn’t something you want to kiss), that only leaves coke for the gay boy party favor of choice. It’s cheap, it doesn’t have nearly the stigma of speed, and it’s even glamorous in an 80s kind of way.
It’s that association with the glam era of gay culture that I think has brought coke back with some force in San Francisco. When you look at the big gay party nights like Double Dutch Disco and Drunk and Horny, they’re all about the days when coke was king of the club drugs, well before E and crystal really even existed (the only people who did speed back in the day were total losers and beatniks, after all). Back some months ago I was at Bus Station John’s Tubesteak Connection at Aunt Charlies with a lil' red bumper in my pocket, and after a trip to the bathroom I came back and found everything to be just fabulous. That’s the whole vibe of that music and that era - weed, booze, coke. When I’m on the dancefloor at Drunk and Horny and I hear “He’s the Greatest Dancer” I flash back to all the usual disco associations, mirror balls and lines cut out on a mirror. Coke has become popular among gay boys in the same way as retro disco, because, I think, both evoke an era and a vibe for which gay boys are nostalgic. E is too much to deal with, crystal is too gross, so let’s do some coke, dance to some disco, and all feel fabulous, just like they did back in the day.
The unfortunate part of this is something that Jeremy and I also discussed - the fact that coke turns people into reptiles. When that dopamine buzz kicks in one's whole perspective turns inward - it's all about you, babe, and what you can get. For me, it brings out the worst aspects of my calculating, analytical nature, and if I've just gotten a bump from someone I start thinking about where I can get another. It also drives me away from interacting with other people - when I'm high on coke other people are just a distraction from whatever pleasure centers are whirring away deep in my reptile brain. It's all about me, me, me, gimme, gimme, gimme. Nothing could be as diametrically opposed to the loved-up sociability of E as coke.
I cannot take myself as the measure of all men, but I wonder if the shift from E to crystal to coke has changed the nature of how people relate to one another in the club scene. I can remember nights out at The End Up when everybody wanted to talk, hug, hang out, make friends, kiss, etc. Now, wherever I go, I get much more the feeling of people trying to hide or protect something, doling out whatever they have to only a select few. Coke engenders furtiveness and secrets, and the ego boost that goes with it revolves around feelings of power and dominance. It's all about lizard emotions, and at times I have this frightening image of being consumed by giant Komodo Dragons on the dancefloor.
I'm sure that eventually all this too will pass, and I'd say the signs are there already. Personally, I'd love a new drug, a new club, a new nightlife that's actually fun and happy and celebrates the here and now. Meanwhile I guess I'll just wait for those special occasions, and hope that the lizards don't get me first.