(no subject)
My first lucid dream. I went to a concert and met you there by coincidence. I was there with another girl but I left her because you wanted me. I was a bit sad knowing I’d hurt her in doing this but I had to. So I did. We hung out and you mentioned something vulgar as if it would lure me into coming with you but I had already committed. You didn’t need to tempt me. If anything, it felt oddly forced from you. I guess that was where the lucidity began. That was just something you wouldn’t do. I think I ignored it at first, leaving me only mildly conscious that all this was being dreamt.
We went to a diner afterwards, myself and the girl that I’d originally come to the concert with, she wasn’t from Staten Island even though I remember her making it seem as if she was. A liar. Figures. Truly, nowhere is one safe from karmic energies.
The next part of my dreaming involved my wandering. After some time of this, I came to a bedroom where I met a child. I had two friends sitting on a bed behind me and no one was helping the kid. He was trying to put his Yu-Gi-Oh cards or some other strategy card game into protective slips. I knelt alongside him helped him. When I looked up and spoke to him, I knew immediately that he was my son. Our son. I knew suddenly that this was the only place I would ever meet him. I had kept him from coming into existence. I had killed him in my folly. I cried then. I cried hard. I could hear my sobbing in the real world draw me full force into lucidity like a lure caught in my mouth. I could hear the crying as if it came from the very building all around us but no one heard it but me and I continued to help our child put cards into his cases. He didn’t see me cry nor did anything at all seem even remotely off kilter to him. I could feel myself cry harder. I’ll never meet you. I thought. I realized then just how incredibly selfish I’ve been all along- and even though I might’ve said that I knew, I never truly understood the gravity of my situation. Maybe I still don’t and karma has chosen to unravel my misery for me slowly, all the better for my consumption. I spent the remainder of my dream helping my son place cards in his protective cases.
We went to a diner afterwards, myself and the girl that I’d originally come to the concert with, she wasn’t from Staten Island even though I remember her making it seem as if she was. A liar. Figures. Truly, nowhere is one safe from karmic energies.
The next part of my dreaming involved my wandering. After some time of this, I came to a bedroom where I met a child. I had two friends sitting on a bed behind me and no one was helping the kid. He was trying to put his Yu-Gi-Oh cards or some other strategy card game into protective slips. I knelt alongside him helped him. When I looked up and spoke to him, I knew immediately that he was my son. Our son. I knew suddenly that this was the only place I would ever meet him. I had kept him from coming into existence. I had killed him in my folly. I cried then. I cried hard. I could hear my sobbing in the real world draw me full force into lucidity like a lure caught in my mouth. I could hear the crying as if it came from the very building all around us but no one heard it but me and I continued to help our child put cards into his cases. He didn’t see me cry nor did anything at all seem even remotely off kilter to him. I could feel myself cry harder. I’ll never meet you. I thought. I realized then just how incredibly selfish I’ve been all along- and even though I might’ve said that I knew, I never truly understood the gravity of my situation. Maybe I still don’t and karma has chosen to unravel my misery for me slowly, all the better for my consumption. I spent the remainder of my dream helping my son place cards in his protective cases.