Xena Warrior Princess and Once Upon a Time (6)
Once Upon a Time "Tallahassee"
I really enjoyed this one, which ended up containing the perfect balance of answering a ton of questions and raising a whole lot more; simultaneously satisfying our curiosity and whetting our appetite for more. It also felt like so much stuff was going on within it; now that the time has come to comment on it, I don’t know where to start.
Okay, so now we have a name and face for Emma’s baby daddy. Except that I’m pretty sure that Neal Cassidy isn’t the guy’s real name which throws up the question as to who he really is. Calling it now: he’s Baelfire. DON’T TELL ME if I’m right or wrong, because I partly hope I’m wrong considering that would be a huge contrivance and I kinda like the idea of Henry’s father just being an ordinary guy. The writers didn’t really tip their hand in either direction so it’s completely up for grabs, yet...I dunno. I can kind of see them going there.
Trying to pass Emma off as eleven years younger by giving her glasses and a ponytail was a bit silly (everyone knows that the simple way to de-age a character is to give them a baseball cap!) but seeing her as a teenager lent so much insight into who she was and how she relates to people. It’s especially heart-breaking to think that she believes she was abandoned/betrayed by her parents and the man she loved, even though each time they were actually doing it to protect her. In the present-day, this was reflected perfectly in Emma’s decision to leave Hook behind in the giant’s lair (because why should she trust a suave, handsome man again?) but hugging Snow on her return to the ground (because now she understands what really went on when she was a baby).
It was a treat seeing August again (I’d been wondering where he got to) but I’m left in a bit of a muddle about his motivations and intentions. I was under the impression that he abandoned Emma as a child and took off to see the world, only seeking her out again when she entered Storybrooke and he realized that he was turning back into a wooden boy. Now it would appear that he was her self-described “guardian angel” for a significant period of her life.
And “guardian angel” goes in inverted commas considering he doesn’t seem particularly good at his job. It seemed a huge risk to ask Neal to abandon Emma and for August to send her to prison, gambling on the fact that a. Neal was a bad influence and b. she needed to be “straightened out” by time in a cell. That seems a little dodgy to me, as the former destroyed her ability to trust people and the latter could have easily left her even more jaded and cynical regarding principles such as honour and justice. It seemed one hell of a risk to take, even if it did work out the way August planned. (Though in saying that, surely it would have been easier to approach Emma during her time in the real world and prep her for her task in Storybrooke? I’m sure that there’s more to August’s in-the-shadows managing of Emma’s life, but so far his methods feel a bit arbitrary).
It makes you wonder just what the hell was in that box that would convince Neal so completely and profoundly.
And is it a given that August ended up taking all the money to fund his trip to Phuket? Perhaps after leaving Emma as a child, he ended up trying to re-appoint himself her guardian, only to fall off the wagon again at the first temptation. Yet in saying that, he sent Neal that postcard from Storybrooke eleven years after initially making the promise. That’s impressive, so I’ll withhold judgment on him for now.
What was going on in the present-day story was slightly less involving, but pretty good nonetheless. I’m not sure whether the writers want us to start shipping Emma and Hook (or whether they’re just having fun throwing all these cute guys at their totally uninterested Chosen One) but I’m glad she saw through his charm - or if you like - smarm and ditched him. I’ve already forgotten why it was she needs that compass in the first place, but as MacGuffins go, it did its duty as requisite plot device.
I was a little nonplussed at Jorge Garcia as the giant - it was really just Hurley with fancy clothes and some dodgy special effects, but I liked the hint that there’s more to the story of Jack and the Beanstalk. Really, it doesn’t take much to perceive Jack as a felon who trespasses on someone else’s property and nicks all their valuables, and hopefully more will be revealed on what exactly happened in the conflict between mortals and giants.
Oh, but the whole thing about the giant doing Emma a favour because she didn’t kill him was eye-roll worthy. I’m sorry, but NOT killing a person when you have the chance isn’t exactly award-winning. The trope I Owe You My Life is when someone actively SAVES another person’s life and so creates a life-debt that needs to be repaid. The act of NOT KILLING someone when you have the chance doesn’t earn you any points.
At best, you deserve this:
Mulan and Aurora - I’m still desperately waiting for a reason to love these two. This time around they’ve been given more to do than they ever have before: Mulan nearly cut down a beanstalk and Aurora had a nightmare. Come on! I don’t want any specific spoilers, but please - someone tell me that they become relevant at some point.
Still, the scenes in which Snow comforts Aurora after her nightmare followed by Charming doing the same to Henry were very sweet, linked as they were by the story/demonstration of lighting a candle to burn away bad dreams. Still, the idea of a shared dream is fascinating - I’ll admit that my first reaction on hearing about a red room was Jane Eyre, but the other details were intriguing. Henry mentioned a woman staring at him, whilst I’m pretty sure Aurora said it was a man - does that mean they were seeing each other? Or someone else entirely? And is it the result of the cursed sleeping spell or is someone sending them this vision specifically?
So, great episode all around, and next week - RED! Whoohoo!
Xena Warrior Princess
Mortal Beloved
I really liked this one, a few quibbles notwithstanding. This is the one where the ghost of Xena’s old boyfriend Marcus appears to her, seeking help to defeat the madman Atyminius who has stolen Hades' Helmet of Invisibility, escaped to the mortal world, and is using it to hunt down new victims.
As set-ups go, that kick-starts an effective plot - but as always, there were some iffy bits. First of all, if Hades's helmet of invisibility allows the walls between Tartarus/Elysian Fields/the mortal world to collapse and for the souls within to run riot - shouldn't Hades be taking better care of it? How did Atyminius even manage to steal it in the first place? And other short-cuts were taken what with the helmet "magically" making Atyminius mortal again once he reached the land of the living (why on earth would it have that power? Oh right - the plot).
But the thrust of the story was pretty good at establishing what was at stake and sustaining suspense: find a killer who targets virgin brides (a bit like a Greek Jack the Ripper, though with a slightly different choice of victim). That he is entirely invisible added to the challenge (even though the actor playing Atyminius swung from legitimately creepy to ridiculously hammy) and the way in which she outwitted him was fairly clever - counting on him to overhear the first plan, only to not have Xena switch places with the bride after all.
Also - Marcus! I really liked Marcus the first time around, so it was nice to see him again (although, I get the sad feeling that this is the last time he'll turn up). Bobby Hosea and Lucy Lawless managed to generate some great chemistry for what few scenes they were in, and I really felt her joy when Xena saw that the ghost was Marcus, and her dread when she realized that if she completed her mission, he would be doomed to return to Tartarus. I liked her final bargain with Hades: to let Marcus enter the Elysian Fields or else he'd never get his helmet back (hidden cunningly on Marcus's own head!) I'm just not entirely sure why Xena had to actually stab Marcus - I guess it was for dramatic effect, but I was under the assumption that when his time was up, he'd simply dissipate back into a spirit.
The depiction of Hades (the place, not the god) was fairly accurate, though I didn't really like their take on Charon as a chatty, comedic figure rather than the grim, silent boatman, or the fact that they pronounced his name wrong (it's KAR-on not CHAR-on. That the Greeks didn’t have a “ch” sound in their alphabet was endlessly drilled into my head by my old classics teacher). I suppose I should be grateful that Cerberus didn't make an appearance in CGI of the nineties, as the harpies were bad enough, even if they did obligingly remove Marcus's shirt. Though I thought it was a cute bit of continuity to have Toxius return, if only for him to get his head lopped off.
There were some good lines throughout: Xena's observation that the thugs of the earth were unhappy even in Paradise, and Marcus's comment that "a lifetime of evil with a single good deed at the end" doesn't count for much. That was a nice twist on the Redemption Equals Death trope, as in this case - it didn't, for neither death nor redemption came particularly easy for Marcus (or Xena).
I really liked the sequence when Atyminius stalked around the wedding preparations and disturbing all the celebrating people, though I think it would have been much more effective if they'd dropped the bit with the juggler and the food, and just had the swing collapse with the bride and bride-groom on it. That was genuinely chilling, and was a great tip-off for when Xena/Marcus/Gabrielle arrived on the scene. (So chilling in fact, that I remembered it from watching this episode the first time, which would have been when I was about fourteen or fifteen years old).
Also, I'm pretty sure I saw flippers on Lucy/the stunt double that dived down into the lake.
Royal Couple of Thieves
Okay, so this was an episode I was quite familiar with, as somehow or other it managed to get taped onto VCR when it first aired back in the nineties. I well remember Autolycus from Hercules as an archetypical Robin Hood figure (though I suppose he had more in common with our Allan-a-Dale given that he robs from the rich to keep for himself). It was natural that he'd eventually end up on Xena, for I’m sure the show-runners couldn't WAIT to throw together smart-ass Bruce Campbell and deadpan Lucy Lawless. The two bounced off each other perfectly, and definitely made a great team.
Also helping was the fact that this was a very tight script. There were no glaring plot-holes, instead everything flowed nicely and logically, and also tied in well with the banter between Autolycus/Xena as they firstly tried to out-con each other, and then the rest of the assorted criminals. Unravelling the identity of the thief was nicely done (he foolishly quoted the inscription on the box) and though the weapon itself was a total McGuffin, at least an interesting McGuffin with a bit of mystery. (As soon as it started shining I thought - "could this be the Arc of the Covenant... nah!", but then of course - it was). Still, Xena figuring out the "face the truth" riddle was better handled than the clumsy "the teacher's student" clue in the other Indiana Jones-inspired episode.
Also, the actor playing Centaries managed to be the best one-off Generic Bad Guy they've had so far: made memorable by his mastery of pressure-points, he was also genuinely scary and fun to watch without overdoing it. When he turned up and started one-upping Autolycus and Xena, he felt like a real threat. In regards to the other guest-stars, I'm sure that one guy who played That One Guy still enjoys telling people at parties how he once buried his face in Lucy Lawless's cleavage.
But the best part was the Xena/Autolycus interaction. First of all, I liked that it was their mutual friendship with Hercules that brought them both together, and I loved the sizing up that went on between them. Autolycus was casual and trying not to be impressed, and Xena was bemused but also faintly charmed. The back-and-forthing between them made some great sequences...let's see: Xena tricking Autolycus with the fake diamond and then tying his feet together, Autolycus making the most of Xena being "Cherish" and presenting her with "a new dress" (though making her dance as a distraction was a bit much - I'm glad she squished melon in his face), rigging the toothpick so it looked like a lethal weapon, the "she's gonna kill me"/"you left something on the line" exchange, followed by shoving the grape down Autolycus's throat, letting the guard catch them in a compromising position in the bedroom, and the line: "our plan depended on his ego - now he's dead, so's his ego, so's our plan." And of course Autolycus trying to get a fix on Xena/Hercules's history and ending up assuming he’s in a different kind of story by expecting a kiss at the end.
There were lots of little cool bits here and there: I loved Xena's casual slow jog as she went after Autolycus, and that split-second moment on board ship when you can see Autolycus push Xena out of the way when Ugly Dude #193 attacked them, and then Xena lunging after Autolycus to prevent him from going over the side. Oh, also that little moment when the dead body is revealed and Xena pretends to be shocked, so Autolycus pats her hand gently to console her. Hah! It was just great stuff all through.
Like I said, definitely the best script/character dynamic since Hooves and Harlots.
The Prodigal
I...don't really have a lot to say about this one.
This was our first Gabrielle-centric episode, with Xena only appearing at the very beginning and end, and I suppose it was okay. It was highly reminiscent of The Moment of Truth from Merlin which in turn was inspired by The Magnificent Seven Samurai (or possibly Home Alone) in which the villagers have to rally together with a hired hero in order to save their home.
This was an entertaining enough episode, even though Gabrielle deciding to head back to Potadeia was a bit contrived (she makes a single, simple mistake, and suddenly she's decided to go back home indefinitely in the space of five seconds?). It was nice to see Potadeia and Lila again, even though it was a lot bigger than I remember it. The village that is, not Gabrielle's sister. Much like Gabrielle's decision to abandon Xena, Lila's sudden jealousy and resentfulness at Gabrielle leaving came out of nowhere (honestly writers, you don't have to introduce conflict for conflict's sake), but I liked seeing the sisters re-bonding. Though where on earth were Gabrielle's parents? Technically she was the Prodigal Son Daughter of the title.
The Gabrielle/Meleager interaction was quite cute though entirely predictable (oh no, he's abandoned them on the eve of battle - of course he hasn't, he's just gone to get weapons), and it was nice to see Gabrielle taking charge, organizing the village, and putting all her skills that she's learnt with Xena to good use. Though the gag in which Gabrielle/Meleager/Lila are checking the forest for soldiers only for about six or so men to come out of their hiding places once they'd sounded the all-clear was pretty funny.
I thought it was a bit odd though that Meleager just sort of disappeared after the battle. Unless I blinked and missed something, he just sort of dropped out of the story. I don't think we even saw Gabrielle saying goodbye to him.