Ick.
So I really think I have IBS. Along with other symptoms that I will refrain from mentioning here due to the grossness of them. My stomach's just fucked up.
I talked to my friend Rob today, who is back for a little while from Iraq to see his baby born. They're at the hospital and his wife is being induced so she should have it tomorrow. He's only got four months left overseas, so I was happy to hear that. It was really good to talk to him. He's always been like an older brother to me, looking out for me and giving me advice. I can't wait to see him.
It's kind of hard for me to explain this next part, but I need to get it out.
The other day at work there were a few people that came from a domestic violence shelter to talk to the kids about abuse awareness. They had handouts and stuff explaining the different kinds of abuse and what all was involved. Now, I'm aware of signs of abuse. At least I thought I was, but it's different when you're experiencing them yourself. There were a lot of things listed under verbal and psychological abuse that mirrored things Chris used to do. A lot of things. It was like a slap in the face to me. The effects that were listed also had everything that I was going through, like depression, isolation, etc. Now, all that right there is hard for me to admit, mainly because I'm still going through the "what did I do wrong" phase. But I know I did the right thing with leaving. This just made me realize the what kind of battle I'm going through right now despite my changes to make it better. I'm holding on, but at the same time I'm just beginning to heal. I'm fragile. I don't like being like this, but I just need time, I guess.
Sigh.
~*~
I talked to my friend Rob today, who is back for a little while from Iraq to see his baby born. They're at the hospital and his wife is being induced so she should have it tomorrow. He's only got four months left overseas, so I was happy to hear that. It was really good to talk to him. He's always been like an older brother to me, looking out for me and giving me advice. I can't wait to see him.
It's kind of hard for me to explain this next part, but I need to get it out.
The other day at work there were a few people that came from a domestic violence shelter to talk to the kids about abuse awareness. They had handouts and stuff explaining the different kinds of abuse and what all was involved. Now, I'm aware of signs of abuse. At least I thought I was, but it's different when you're experiencing them yourself. There were a lot of things listed under verbal and psychological abuse that mirrored things Chris used to do. A lot of things. It was like a slap in the face to me. The effects that were listed also had everything that I was going through, like depression, isolation, etc. Now, all that right there is hard for me to admit, mainly because I'm still going through the "what did I do wrong" phase. But I know I did the right thing with leaving. This just made me realize the what kind of battle I'm going through right now despite my changes to make it better. I'm holding on, but at the same time I'm just beginning to heal. I'm fragile. I don't like being like this, but I just need time, I guess.
Sigh.
~*~