Still among the living...
Ok..so I haven't updated this thing in a coon's age.
I survived the chemo and radiation but it knocked my skinny arse for a loop-a big one. I spent the remainder of April and much of this month in a major depressed funk. I was really, really hating life. I wanted to get back among the living, start working again and just get....well, away from it all. I hate being sick and lethargic all the time. I despise daytime TV and I simply didn't even have the energy to enjoy a lot of the other things I normally do to keep from climbing the walls: writing, painting, reading, playing my guitar, playing with the cats etc. I'm really beginning to hate living in Central New York. It's becoming "Fuckin' Yuppieland". Everybody's hard-chargin' on that ol' "fast track" in life-too goddamn rude, impatient, souless, humorless...sometimes I feel like I got drop-kicked into a realm of plastic pod people. Pardon moi whilest I go on a little rant here-I've nothing better to do with myself lately.
Where I'm living in Oswego County, it used to be farm land, little Mayberry-esque towns and a largely blue-collar population. Not so much anymore. A few years ago, it seems like the upscale snobs started buying up the old farms. Families that no longer had any desire to continue farming subdivided their land and sold out. The infiltrators got themselves on the local zoning boards and now you have to jump through umpteen hoops if you want to put up a simple storage shed or God-forbid, a barn for horses. They come out to the country, yet they can't stand the sweet smell of horse poop! I was thinking of purchasing a double-wide or small modular but OH HORRORS! "Don't even think of putting one of those things up here anymore!" Manufactured housing for the most part is segregated to the old trailer parks-no matter that the house that I was thinking of buying cost about $80K and was better built than some of those "McMansions" I see popping up like kudzu all over the place. Ugh....!
I seriously miss North Carolina. Can't do squat though 'cuz I'm basically still looking at surgery in a few weeks-probably early June. According to Doc Halloran, I'm going to basically have most of my innards re-wired: Colon re-section and possible removal. yay. The operation promises to be lengthy. Frankly, I'm scared shitless. (I know, bad pun!) According to an artical ranking the top surgeons in the state, I have some of the best. Still isn't very re-assuring though. I have no choice though. My Oncologist, Dr. Gullo basically told me that there's a good chance the cancer could come back if I don't have this operation to remove the "bad stuff".
Mom wants to finally retire this year. It's gonna take about 6-8 weeks for me to heal before I can figure out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. Mom would like to move south-she's not nuts about the cold and would also like a kinder, slower pace of life. I hate the prospect of walking away from Inficon. (the place I've been working for the past few months and making an obscene amont of money for what I do.) They've been really good to me as far as being out on disability and all-very supportive. (they're also a Swiss and German owned company-it's no secret that Eurpeans know how to treat their workers) But my old boss and co-workers from the shop still remain in contact. I had a high deductable on my health insurace-$1000.00 that I had to pay and Mr. C told me to simply "send them bills down here-we'll take care of 'em. You shouldn't have to worry about that stuff now." The guys in both the Busch and Cup shop took up a collection for me. The shop will probably be expanding next season-there's always going to be a seat down there for me. I just don't want to keep 'em waiting too long....
I'd hate to uproot the cats again in another move-but I dearly miss my old friends. The ol' gang seems to either be getting in trouble or causing it lately in Nascarland.....Mike, Doody, T., TJ, Beakman-all good eggs-even though they're slightly cracked. I still miss 'em. I've got another doctor's appointment on the 23rd-but if I'm feeling up to it, I'll be at the track for the 600. *sigh* I swear, lately it just flat-out sucks to be me!
So, this is basically my mindless rambling for the day. Just letting those who might be wondering that I'm doing ok now. Just hangin' in there...
I survived the chemo and radiation but it knocked my skinny arse for a loop-a big one. I spent the remainder of April and much of this month in a major depressed funk. I was really, really hating life. I wanted to get back among the living, start working again and just get....well, away from it all. I hate being sick and lethargic all the time. I despise daytime TV and I simply didn't even have the energy to enjoy a lot of the other things I normally do to keep from climbing the walls: writing, painting, reading, playing my guitar, playing with the cats etc. I'm really beginning to hate living in Central New York. It's becoming "Fuckin' Yuppieland". Everybody's hard-chargin' on that ol' "fast track" in life-too goddamn rude, impatient, souless, humorless...sometimes I feel like I got drop-kicked into a realm of plastic pod people. Pardon moi whilest I go on a little rant here-I've nothing better to do with myself lately.
Where I'm living in Oswego County, it used to be farm land, little Mayberry-esque towns and a largely blue-collar population. Not so much anymore. A few years ago, it seems like the upscale snobs started buying up the old farms. Families that no longer had any desire to continue farming subdivided their land and sold out. The infiltrators got themselves on the local zoning boards and now you have to jump through umpteen hoops if you want to put up a simple storage shed or God-forbid, a barn for horses. They come out to the country, yet they can't stand the sweet smell of horse poop! I was thinking of purchasing a double-wide or small modular but OH HORRORS! "Don't even think of putting one of those things up here anymore!" Manufactured housing for the most part is segregated to the old trailer parks-no matter that the house that I was thinking of buying cost about $80K and was better built than some of those "McMansions" I see popping up like kudzu all over the place. Ugh....!
I seriously miss North Carolina. Can't do squat though 'cuz I'm basically still looking at surgery in a few weeks-probably early June. According to Doc Halloran, I'm going to basically have most of my innards re-wired: Colon re-section and possible removal. yay. The operation promises to be lengthy. Frankly, I'm scared shitless. (I know, bad pun!) According to an artical ranking the top surgeons in the state, I have some of the best. Still isn't very re-assuring though. I have no choice though. My Oncologist, Dr. Gullo basically told me that there's a good chance the cancer could come back if I don't have this operation to remove the "bad stuff".
Mom wants to finally retire this year. It's gonna take about 6-8 weeks for me to heal before I can figure out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. Mom would like to move south-she's not nuts about the cold and would also like a kinder, slower pace of life. I hate the prospect of walking away from Inficon. (the place I've been working for the past few months and making an obscene amont of money for what I do.) They've been really good to me as far as being out on disability and all-very supportive. (they're also a Swiss and German owned company-it's no secret that Eurpeans know how to treat their workers) But my old boss and co-workers from the shop still remain in contact. I had a high deductable on my health insurace-$1000.00 that I had to pay and Mr. C told me to simply "send them bills down here-we'll take care of 'em. You shouldn't have to worry about that stuff now." The guys in both the Busch and Cup shop took up a collection for me. The shop will probably be expanding next season-there's always going to be a seat down there for me. I just don't want to keep 'em waiting too long....
I'd hate to uproot the cats again in another move-but I dearly miss my old friends. The ol' gang seems to either be getting in trouble or causing it lately in Nascarland.....Mike, Doody, T., TJ, Beakman-all good eggs-even though they're slightly cracked. I still miss 'em. I've got another doctor's appointment on the 23rd-but if I'm feeling up to it, I'll be at the track for the 600. *sigh* I swear, lately it just flat-out sucks to be me!
So, this is basically my mindless rambling for the day. Just letting those who might be wondering that I'm doing ok now. Just hangin' in there...