Thank you... you give good advice. :) (Also, it makes my day that there are folks still reading here on LJ... I expected the only responses I'd get would be from friends I linked this to on Facebook!)
Frankly, "get a part-time job" is part of my plan no matter what I choose. Student loans have to be paid, and I know it's not fair to keep expecting help from my fiancee OR my parents indefinitely. Hopefully, the plan to get the car fixed this weekend finally actually goes through (ironic downside to living with a professional mechanic: car repairs are only ever done when there's nothing *else* to do), so I'll be able to cast my job search net a little wider.
I think my plan for talking this out is basically going to be to print out this post, or a version of it, and ask him to read it while I'm in another room, then sit down and talk about it... I'm much better on paper than in person, so I think that I'll stand a better chance of getting my thoughts across.
I also think that a little breathing space may help - a weekend where we're each doing our own thing and can clear our heads.
My main concern moving forward, really, is that working towards my dreams at a slower pace isn't really an option, because I've put myself in a situation where I haven't really been *able* to work towards them at all - I've managed to make some expensive gestures in their direction, but nothing with that creates actual progress. For whatever reason, I've had a growing sense that my time for making a real effort toward what I want is running out (this may be the part of me that wants to be an actor talking - trying to break into that industry when you're closer to 30 than to 25 is a scary prospect).
You don't need me to tell you that acting is a very chancy profession but there are opportunities in other aspects of theatre; I can't afford to work on theatre so I work at a job that I enjoy and which pays the bills and get, if you like, my artistic rocks off by volunteering as a board member of the local theatre and working the odd front of house shift or teaching a little drama when I can find time. Or you could combine your love of theatre with your artistic talents and look at wardrobe/ costuming ; Whether that's what pays the bills or is something like community theatre which you do for love whilst working elsewhere for money, it's still a way of following that dream.
I wish you all the luck in the world and a successful " talk"
Oh, I decided ages ago that acting couldn't be my primary outlet in theatre, my audition nerves are way too awful to rely on! Costume department and dramaturgy are my reliable strengths and what I hope to earn a paycheck for someday, I just also hope to pick up the occasional onstage role every now and then... The ticking clock is less an accurate reflection of the situation and more of a holdover from from when I actually *did* think I was going to be primarily an actor... I spent long enough thinking of age range as a very salient factor in finding a role, it's hard not to project it onto the rest of the industry.
I do hope to involved in community theatre once my car is up and running (tomorrow! My fiancee has a light day scheduled at work, so he's bringing my car in to work on in the afternoon!), although the more I think about it, the more going to graduate school sounds like the right path. Even when I first graduated and was very sick of homework, I knew there was a LOT more I needed to learn yet, and it would put me back into the theatre world under more controlled circumstances that could maybe reduce stress a bit...
Thank you very much! Talking stuff out (both relationship-wise and life-wise) with various friends, strictly online or otherwise, has helped a lot!
Frankly, "get a part-time job" is part of my plan no matter what I choose. Student loans have to be paid, and I know it's not fair to keep expecting help from my fiancee OR my parents indefinitely. Hopefully, the plan to get the car fixed this weekend finally actually goes through (ironic downside to living with a professional mechanic: car repairs are only ever done when there's nothing *else* to do), so I'll be able to cast my job search net a little wider.
I think my plan for talking this out is basically going to be to print out this post, or a version of it, and ask him to read it while I'm in another room, then sit down and talk about it... I'm much better on paper than in person, so I think that I'll stand a better chance of getting my thoughts across.
I also think that a little breathing space may help - a weekend where we're each doing our own thing and can clear our heads.
My main concern moving forward, really, is that working towards my dreams at a slower pace isn't really an option, because I've put myself in a situation where I haven't really been *able* to work towards them at all - I've managed to make some expensive gestures in their direction, but nothing with that creates actual progress. For whatever reason, I've had a growing sense that my time for making a real effort toward what I want is running out (this may be the part of me that wants to be an actor talking - trying to break into that industry when you're closer to 30 than to 25 is a scary prospect).
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I wish you all the luck in the world and a successful " talk"
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I do hope to involved in community theatre once my car is up and running (tomorrow! My fiancee has a light day scheduled at work, so he's bringing my car in to work on in the afternoon!), although the more I think about it, the more going to graduate school sounds like the right path. Even when I first graduated and was very sick of homework, I knew there was a LOT more I needed to learn yet, and it would put me back into the theatre world under more controlled circumstances that could maybe reduce stress a bit...
Thank you very much! Talking stuff out (both relationship-wise and life-wise) with various friends, strictly online or otherwise, has helped a lot!
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