Fic: Why should I trust you? 9/? [PG-13]
Title: Why should I trust you? 9/?
Author: ravensilverwing
Rating: PG-13
Genre and/or Pairing: Gen.
Spoilers: Up to and including 5x08
Warnings: Swearing.
Word Count: 2,810
Summary: With Gabriel gone Sam can't get to sleep.
Notes: This chapter kicked my ass. I've already written half of the next one and it was easy but this one, I'm rather glad it's finished. Follows on from Part 8
Sam doesn’t want to risk sleep even though he knows he’ll have to at some point. Gabriel hasn’t returned and he has to consider he might not come back. He wants to be angry at Dean. Dean can’t help himself from provoking the angel but Dean’s his brother and it’s not like he doesn’t have a good reason. Gabriel did kill him. Even if he did bring him back after six painful months.
The room is quiet, just the soft sounds of typing as he checks the news from the laptop. Dean went to bed hours ago. Is probably already asleep. Sam could check. He knows the signs that Dean’s sleeping. They grew up like this. One bed beside the other. Accept when they had no money and slept in the back of the car. Two small boys on the back seat. Or since they started this road trip. Dean on the front seat, Sam cramped and frustrated on the back. He’s slept in worst places, and the Impala is almost home, but he still hates the back seat. Nothing is going to make the Impala bigger. Or his legs short enough to get comfortable.
So he knows what Dean’s like when he’s really asleep, not just faking it. Knows how he looks, face slowly relaxing, limbs losing the tight readiness they always have, even when he’s drunk. Dean never quite gets loose limbed, not completely, not even in deep sleep. Part of him is always alert, always waiting for a threat, the next fight. Dad taught him that, whether he realised it or not. Dean learnt a lot of things from their Dad, not all of them good.
He briefly considered taking a walk earlier. Just around the block, but he didn’t want Dean to wake up and find him gone. They’ve made some progress but he doesn’t want to risk it. Doesn’t want to see the doubts resurface in Dean’s eyes.
Not over something that stupid. He knows they’ll be times it gets tested, it’s inevitable but he’s not going to deliberately test it. He knows exactly how it’d look. Knows that Dean will think he’s gone out to do something untrustworthy. That or Gabriel took him. Neither of them trust Gabriel but Dean has a special hatred for him. Hatred born out of a certainty that he’s going to hurt Sam.
So Sam trawls the internet looking for their next case. They can’t stay in one place too long. It’s not safe. Demons are hunting them and the angels have people on the lookout. So it’s not worth the risk. Gabriel might...will probably...Sam runs a hand over his face, refocuses his eyes on the screen. He’d like to think the angel would help, but he knows Gabriel. If it’s a choice between keeping his identity safe or saving them, Gabriel’s going to run. He’ll always choose himself. Sam wants to blame him but he’s starting to think he’d do the same. Possibly. Probably not.
He’s just tired. Not thinking straight. He’ll never run and hide, he’ll always stand and fight. Running has never been an option for him. He was born to stand and fight. He tried running after they met War and he got to see firsthand what happens when he ignores what he’s done. This apocalypse is his fault, his responsibility and he can’t pretend it isn’t.
But Gabriel’s been in hiding for over a millennia. Sam didn’t run from his family because they were... Ha. His eyes widen. Actually he sort of did. Not recently, but back at Standford. He was running away then too and he was definitely avoiding his family. He even avoided Dean. He wanted out. Wanted out of this life. Wanted to make his own life, to have a chance to think for himself.
Sam might not have been running from an angelic civil war but he saw Dean and his Dad fight often enough to know that it sucks. He can’t imagine what it was like for Gabriel. To watch his brothers kill each other. No, Sam’s never seen that. Instead he and Dean get to play host to the ultimate death match.
It’s 3am and Sam’s re-read the same paragraph six times when he realises he’s too tired to think straight. He needs coffee. He needs sleep too, but not badly enough to risk it. Risk running into Lucifer. He’s still raw from the last time they met. And it’s not like he hasn’t missed sleep before. It’s part of this job, this life. Usually he’d be lucky to get five hours a night but he still wants to sleep. Wants to lay down. Take a nap. More than that he wants to lay down knowing Lucifer can’t find him, can’t get to him, can’t make him weak and start to give in.
Sam wants a lot of things but that doesn’t mean he can have them. He just has to live without. But if Gabriel came back now, helped him get an hour or two, he’d be fine for tomorrow. Fine for when they leave.
Which is why Dean is sleeping. Someone has to be awake enough to drive.
If Cas would just call he’d know if he’ll be doing this tomorrow. Another motel room but still unable to sleep. Last time Cas was around they didn’t ask because it wasn’t this bad. But now they need him, need his advice. If Cas would just call they could ask him about other possible wards.
He knows Cas can’t do what Gabriel can. Can’t keep Lucifer out just by extending his Grace. Part of Sam hopes he never could, doesn’t want to think about just how far Cas has fallen. Fallen because of what Sam did. Fallen because Dean needed him to.
The surge of jealousy leaves him drowning in shame. Dean’s his brother. Cas can’t change that. What’s wrong between them isn’t Cas fault. It’s his. Partly Dean’s but mostly his. Sam has no defence against Dean’s distrust. He lied, betrayed his trust, starting the fucking apocalypse. It doesn’t give Dean the right to be a complete dick, especially to Gabriel, who might kill him out of spite, or Cas, who’s lost everything because of them. But it is understandable.
Sam runs his hands through his hair, pushes it off his face and tries to make sense of the notes he’s taken.
There’s an apparent haunting in Albuquerque. Mysterious deaths that could be witches in Ohio. Possible woman in white in Colorado. He can only sigh at what he’s written. Looks like the Apocalypse party has started and everyone’s invited.
At twenty-five to five he glances up at the clock and his shoulders slump. Gabriel isn’t coming back tonight. Coffee, he needs coffee. Even if it is the disgusting, instant, motel kind that they always avoid accept in emergencies.
The laptop lid shuts with a click and he stretches his legs, spine cracking. He’s been sitting too long but he can’t risk the bed. Won’t risk falling asleep alone. He needs Gabriel. Damnit. Sigh. Son of a bitch knows just how to play him. But there has to be something else, some other way. Why else would Gabriel stick around after Bobby vetoed the ritual and the sigil? He likes annoying Dean but there has to be something other than that.
The only way to make coffee is to use the ancient kettle but he knows it won’t wake Dean. The tiny sound of a gun cocking will wake him but the scream of a boiling kettle won’t. He wonders if he could unlock the door without a reaction, but not enough to test it. He doesn’t want to know. He really doesn’t want to know.
It’s mildly amusing that Gabriel shows up when the sugar comes out. It’s not refined or flavoured but...Sam misses the chipped coffee mug and realises he really needs to pay attention to what he’s doing. Gabriel isn’t likely to hurt him. He’s been incredibly restrained lately. Might it’s just the simple rule they all agreed to, they won’t try to hurt him, he won’t use his powers on them, but Sam can take his eyes off him long enough to make a cup of coffee.
Gabriel smirks.
“What, no hello? You didn’t miss me?”
“No.” Stirring the sugar into his coffee before leaning back against the tiny bench, mug cradled between his hands.
Gabriel’s changed his jeans and t-shirt for pale tan chinos and a light blue, button down shirt. He’s even wearing loafers. He looks like a wealthy business man. A very relaxed, wealthy business man. Definitely more relaxed than he did before he left and Sam doesn’t want to know why. Doesn’t want to think about what he might have been up to all day.
“You like the clothes?” Loafers squeaking on the linoleum as his feet move. He’s happy, way too happy. “Not my usual style but...”
“I don’t want to know.” Sam cuts him off. Face grim. “Seriously.”
Gabriel’s eyes narrow.
“So, ready to get some sleep?” Hands rubbing together.
A glance at the clock and Sam decides it really isn’t worth it. Dean will be up any moment.
“I’ll sleep in the car.”
Then reality hits. Gabriel might not want to stay with them. He’s been hanging out, annoying Dean and answering all their questions, even the ones Bobby fired at him. Sam still can’t believe he submitted to that. Bobby didn’t even try to hide the fact he didn’t like Gabriel and didn’t trust him as far as he could kick him. Which wouldn’t be far. Sam winces. He can’t believe he just made that joke, even inside his own head.
“Tiger? You still with me?” Gabriel’s watching him closely, almost frowning in concern.
“Yeah. Yeah I...Are you staying?” Trying not to let fear filter into his voice. Let Gabriel know he’s got the advantage, got Sam exactly where he wants him. Though he’s probably already figured that out.
Gabriel looks at him for a long moment, blinking slowly, hands suddenly still.
“Pass that by me again? You’re asking me to hang around? Help you out? Let me guess.” A loud sigh. “You haven’t asked your brother. The possessive one. Paranoid. Oh and a complete and utter asshole.” Flippantly delivering insults.
Gabriel looks frustrated before his eyes soften.
“No, I’m not staying.”
“But...” Thrill of fear. Sam can’t, he needs...
“I need to find Cas.” Quiet. Serious.
“What?” This time the fear hits low in his stomach. “You can’t find him?”
Gabriel’s face is suddenly tight, frustration mixed with fear.
“No.”
“But...” Sam’s not going to panic. Cas is an angel. He can’t get hurt. Unless another angel...
If he’s honest with himself, Sam doesn’t like Cas. Hates it when he’s around but that doesn’t mean he wants him hurt. Trapped, alone, possibly dead.
“He’s been hiding from our family and hasn’t stopped to think I might want to find him.” Gabriel is explaining tightly. “That or after the stunt your brother pulled he doesn’t want to be found.” Barest hint of anger coming through.
“Or he’s busy looking for...” But Sam stops, doesn’t say it. Gabriel doesn’t like to be reminded.
His eyes flinch anyway and he looks past Sam to Dean.
“So I’m off to find my wayward little bro.” Shrugging, attempting to smile.
“But you’ll be back right?”
“Aww Sammy, gonna miss me?” Mocking amusement but he looks sincerely pleased.
“I need your help Gabriel.” Too serious.
“And don’t I know it kid.” Suddenly direct.
“Is there anything...Is there any other way? Anything other than the ritual?”
Gabriel suddenly looks smug, too pleased for Sam’s comfort.
“There are a few other things.” Smiling at him.
Son of a bitch. Gabriel really has been playing him. He shouldn’t be surprised but...
“Oh don’t pout. You really think I’d bind us together Sam? Was never going to happen kiddo.”
“Then why...” Anger heating his voice.
“Because you were never going to take my first offer. You boys are exactly the same. I offer an orange, you’ll demand an apple.”
“Then...”
“The sigil will work...”
“But Bobby...” Countering.
“There are other ways than carving it into your skin.”
“Then how?” Suspicion growing.
Then it dawns. This is why Gabriel didn’t argue when Bobby vetoed his proposal. This is why he answered every single question they threw at him.
Dean starts to stir and Gabriel’s mouth tightens.
“Should I bother to explain or are you just going to refuse to believe me?” Frustration filtering through.
Sam tries not to get angry. This bastard is playing him, he knows it, he can feel it. But he needs him. Needs something to keep Lucifer at bay. Out of his head. Out of his dreams. And Gabriel might have it.
“How can I trust you?” Trying to keep his voice neutral.
“This again?” But he doesn’t look surprised, only resigned. “I’m offering to help, no deals, no contracts, no strings. Just a once in a life time agreement. I agreed Sam. What more do you want?” Then the anger is back, frustration mixed with the constant irritation caused by the Winchester brothers.
“Then tell me the truth. Can you ward my sleep without binding us?” Hazel eyes narrow.
Gabriel stares right back.
“Yes.”
“How?” Sam demands.
“The sigil works. I just carve it into stone with my blood, you keep it against your skin and you’re Lucifer free.” Aiming for a smile but his eyes aren’t reflecting anything but anger.
“Is that it?” Because that’s too simple, without any ritual it’s far too simple.
“It won’t last.” Eyes unwavering.
“How long?”
“Five days. Six at the most.” Slight resignation.
This is what he was offering at the start. Before Sam rejected his help. He told Sam he’d need to be around.
Sam tries to swallow past the nausea. It’s come back to blood again. Which is powerful, addictive...
“What else will it do?” Fighting the disgust he feels at contemplating the offer.
Gabriel’s mouth twists unhappily.
“Apart from hurting like hell every time I slice myself up for you?”
Sam nods, eyes never leaving his face. If Gabriel’s going to lie it’s going to be now. Gabriel’s jaw tightens.
“I’ll feel it when he’s tries to get through to you.” Face suddenly blank, the barest hint of fear. “If he fights hard enough it’s going to hurt, and it won’t be you that’ll feel it kiddo.”
“But you’ll keep doing it?” Sam doesn’t even try to hide his disbelief. Just watches as Gabriel’s shoulders tense before he nods.
“Yes.” Eyes holding Sam’s, unflinching.
“Gabriel...” But Sam has no words. If they do this, if Gabriel does this... Then something else occurs to him. “Will he know it’s you?”
A long pause and Sam can see Gabriel’s nervous. Which makes him nervous. He’s not convinced Gabriel will go through with it. That he’ll keep doing it once it gets hard, when Lucifer starts to fight his way through. Which he will. Gabriel’s a coward, he ran away, he’s never stood up to his family.
“Eventually.”
“Why would you risk that? You’ve been in hiding for...”
The slightest sigh and an eye roll.
“I have a plan you idiot.”
“Why am I not surprised?” Dean’s voice comes from the bed.
Gabriel glances his way but otherwise doesn’t move. Sam watches his entire face flash with anger, quickly followed by resignation. The anger he gets but why the resignation? Sam starts to frown but Dean’s already thrown off the covers.
“So let’s hear it then.” Dean stands, but he doesn’t move any closer.
Apparently his and Sam’s argument had some impact.
“If you don’t wear the sigil every night it’ll take him longer to figure out what’s going on.”
“Right, like he’s not going to notice that Sam’s suddenly unreachable via 1800...”
“I never said he wouldn’t notice.” Faintest hint of anger as he glares at Dean.
“We’ll ask Cas.” Sam interrupts.
Gabriel snorts.
“That’s if he returns your call.” Glare intensifying at Dean.
“He’s just busy.” Dean tries to sound sure, like he hasn’t started to wonder if Cas is alright. He’s starting to seriously hope Cas is just avoiding him.
“Busy avoiding you Winchester?” Snapping, low hum filling the room. “I wonder why he’d be doing that.”
“Can you find him?” Sam breaks in again.
“If you two stop interrupting me every five minutes I can.”
“Then go. I’ll deal with Lucifer. It can wait.” Right now finding Cas is more important. It won’t be easy, he knows that, but he can do this. It won’t be weeks. Gabriel won’t stay away for weeks and risk him saying yes...will he?
“We’re not doing anything without talking to Cas anyway.” Dean just can’t help himself.
“So glad to hear it.”
A quick glance to Sam, head shaking slowly, then he’s gone.
***
Author: ravensilverwing
Rating: PG-13
Genre and/or Pairing: Gen.
Spoilers: Up to and including 5x08
Warnings: Swearing.
Word Count: 2,810
Summary: With Gabriel gone Sam can't get to sleep.
Notes: This chapter kicked my ass. I've already written half of the next one and it was easy but this one, I'm rather glad it's finished. Follows on from Part 8
Sam doesn’t want to risk sleep even though he knows he’ll have to at some point. Gabriel hasn’t returned and he has to consider he might not come back. He wants to be angry at Dean. Dean can’t help himself from provoking the angel but Dean’s his brother and it’s not like he doesn’t have a good reason. Gabriel did kill him. Even if he did bring him back after six painful months.
The room is quiet, just the soft sounds of typing as he checks the news from the laptop. Dean went to bed hours ago. Is probably already asleep. Sam could check. He knows the signs that Dean’s sleeping. They grew up like this. One bed beside the other. Accept when they had no money and slept in the back of the car. Two small boys on the back seat. Or since they started this road trip. Dean on the front seat, Sam cramped and frustrated on the back. He’s slept in worst places, and the Impala is almost home, but he still hates the back seat. Nothing is going to make the Impala bigger. Or his legs short enough to get comfortable.
So he knows what Dean’s like when he’s really asleep, not just faking it. Knows how he looks, face slowly relaxing, limbs losing the tight readiness they always have, even when he’s drunk. Dean never quite gets loose limbed, not completely, not even in deep sleep. Part of him is always alert, always waiting for a threat, the next fight. Dad taught him that, whether he realised it or not. Dean learnt a lot of things from their Dad, not all of them good.
He briefly considered taking a walk earlier. Just around the block, but he didn’t want Dean to wake up and find him gone. They’ve made some progress but he doesn’t want to risk it. Doesn’t want to see the doubts resurface in Dean’s eyes.
Not over something that stupid. He knows they’ll be times it gets tested, it’s inevitable but he’s not going to deliberately test it. He knows exactly how it’d look. Knows that Dean will think he’s gone out to do something untrustworthy. That or Gabriel took him. Neither of them trust Gabriel but Dean has a special hatred for him. Hatred born out of a certainty that he’s going to hurt Sam.
So Sam trawls the internet looking for their next case. They can’t stay in one place too long. It’s not safe. Demons are hunting them and the angels have people on the lookout. So it’s not worth the risk. Gabriel might...will probably...Sam runs a hand over his face, refocuses his eyes on the screen. He’d like to think the angel would help, but he knows Gabriel. If it’s a choice between keeping his identity safe or saving them, Gabriel’s going to run. He’ll always choose himself. Sam wants to blame him but he’s starting to think he’d do the same. Possibly. Probably not.
He’s just tired. Not thinking straight. He’ll never run and hide, he’ll always stand and fight. Running has never been an option for him. He was born to stand and fight. He tried running after they met War and he got to see firsthand what happens when he ignores what he’s done. This apocalypse is his fault, his responsibility and he can’t pretend it isn’t.
But Gabriel’s been in hiding for over a millennia. Sam didn’t run from his family because they were... Ha. His eyes widen. Actually he sort of did. Not recently, but back at Standford. He was running away then too and he was definitely avoiding his family. He even avoided Dean. He wanted out. Wanted out of this life. Wanted to make his own life, to have a chance to think for himself.
Sam might not have been running from an angelic civil war but he saw Dean and his Dad fight often enough to know that it sucks. He can’t imagine what it was like for Gabriel. To watch his brothers kill each other. No, Sam’s never seen that. Instead he and Dean get to play host to the ultimate death match.
It’s 3am and Sam’s re-read the same paragraph six times when he realises he’s too tired to think straight. He needs coffee. He needs sleep too, but not badly enough to risk it. Risk running into Lucifer. He’s still raw from the last time they met. And it’s not like he hasn’t missed sleep before. It’s part of this job, this life. Usually he’d be lucky to get five hours a night but he still wants to sleep. Wants to lay down. Take a nap. More than that he wants to lay down knowing Lucifer can’t find him, can’t get to him, can’t make him weak and start to give in.
Sam wants a lot of things but that doesn’t mean he can have them. He just has to live without. But if Gabriel came back now, helped him get an hour or two, he’d be fine for tomorrow. Fine for when they leave.
Which is why Dean is sleeping. Someone has to be awake enough to drive.
If Cas would just call he’d know if he’ll be doing this tomorrow. Another motel room but still unable to sleep. Last time Cas was around they didn’t ask because it wasn’t this bad. But now they need him, need his advice. If Cas would just call they could ask him about other possible wards.
He knows Cas can’t do what Gabriel can. Can’t keep Lucifer out just by extending his Grace. Part of Sam hopes he never could, doesn’t want to think about just how far Cas has fallen. Fallen because of what Sam did. Fallen because Dean needed him to.
The surge of jealousy leaves him drowning in shame. Dean’s his brother. Cas can’t change that. What’s wrong between them isn’t Cas fault. It’s his. Partly Dean’s but mostly his. Sam has no defence against Dean’s distrust. He lied, betrayed his trust, starting the fucking apocalypse. It doesn’t give Dean the right to be a complete dick, especially to Gabriel, who might kill him out of spite, or Cas, who’s lost everything because of them. But it is understandable.
Sam runs his hands through his hair, pushes it off his face and tries to make sense of the notes he’s taken.
There’s an apparent haunting in Albuquerque. Mysterious deaths that could be witches in Ohio. Possible woman in white in Colorado. He can only sigh at what he’s written. Looks like the Apocalypse party has started and everyone’s invited.
At twenty-five to five he glances up at the clock and his shoulders slump. Gabriel isn’t coming back tonight. Coffee, he needs coffee. Even if it is the disgusting, instant, motel kind that they always avoid accept in emergencies.
The laptop lid shuts with a click and he stretches his legs, spine cracking. He’s been sitting too long but he can’t risk the bed. Won’t risk falling asleep alone. He needs Gabriel. Damnit. Sigh. Son of a bitch knows just how to play him. But there has to be something else, some other way. Why else would Gabriel stick around after Bobby vetoed the ritual and the sigil? He likes annoying Dean but there has to be something other than that.
The only way to make coffee is to use the ancient kettle but he knows it won’t wake Dean. The tiny sound of a gun cocking will wake him but the scream of a boiling kettle won’t. He wonders if he could unlock the door without a reaction, but not enough to test it. He doesn’t want to know. He really doesn’t want to know.
It’s mildly amusing that Gabriel shows up when the sugar comes out. It’s not refined or flavoured but...Sam misses the chipped coffee mug and realises he really needs to pay attention to what he’s doing. Gabriel isn’t likely to hurt him. He’s been incredibly restrained lately. Might it’s just the simple rule they all agreed to, they won’t try to hurt him, he won’t use his powers on them, but Sam can take his eyes off him long enough to make a cup of coffee.
Gabriel smirks.
“What, no hello? You didn’t miss me?”
“No.” Stirring the sugar into his coffee before leaning back against the tiny bench, mug cradled between his hands.
Gabriel’s changed his jeans and t-shirt for pale tan chinos and a light blue, button down shirt. He’s even wearing loafers. He looks like a wealthy business man. A very relaxed, wealthy business man. Definitely more relaxed than he did before he left and Sam doesn’t want to know why. Doesn’t want to think about what he might have been up to all day.
“You like the clothes?” Loafers squeaking on the linoleum as his feet move. He’s happy, way too happy. “Not my usual style but...”
“I don’t want to know.” Sam cuts him off. Face grim. “Seriously.”
Gabriel’s eyes narrow.
“So, ready to get some sleep?” Hands rubbing together.
A glance at the clock and Sam decides it really isn’t worth it. Dean will be up any moment.
“I’ll sleep in the car.”
Then reality hits. Gabriel might not want to stay with them. He’s been hanging out, annoying Dean and answering all their questions, even the ones Bobby fired at him. Sam still can’t believe he submitted to that. Bobby didn’t even try to hide the fact he didn’t like Gabriel and didn’t trust him as far as he could kick him. Which wouldn’t be far. Sam winces. He can’t believe he just made that joke, even inside his own head.
“Tiger? You still with me?” Gabriel’s watching him closely, almost frowning in concern.
“Yeah. Yeah I...Are you staying?” Trying not to let fear filter into his voice. Let Gabriel know he’s got the advantage, got Sam exactly where he wants him. Though he’s probably already figured that out.
Gabriel looks at him for a long moment, blinking slowly, hands suddenly still.
“Pass that by me again? You’re asking me to hang around? Help you out? Let me guess.” A loud sigh. “You haven’t asked your brother. The possessive one. Paranoid. Oh and a complete and utter asshole.” Flippantly delivering insults.
Gabriel looks frustrated before his eyes soften.
“No, I’m not staying.”
“But...” Thrill of fear. Sam can’t, he needs...
“I need to find Cas.” Quiet. Serious.
“What?” This time the fear hits low in his stomach. “You can’t find him?”
Gabriel’s face is suddenly tight, frustration mixed with fear.
“No.”
“But...” Sam’s not going to panic. Cas is an angel. He can’t get hurt. Unless another angel...
If he’s honest with himself, Sam doesn’t like Cas. Hates it when he’s around but that doesn’t mean he wants him hurt. Trapped, alone, possibly dead.
“He’s been hiding from our family and hasn’t stopped to think I might want to find him.” Gabriel is explaining tightly. “That or after the stunt your brother pulled he doesn’t want to be found.” Barest hint of anger coming through.
“Or he’s busy looking for...” But Sam stops, doesn’t say it. Gabriel doesn’t like to be reminded.
His eyes flinch anyway and he looks past Sam to Dean.
“So I’m off to find my wayward little bro.” Shrugging, attempting to smile.
“But you’ll be back right?”
“Aww Sammy, gonna miss me?” Mocking amusement but he looks sincerely pleased.
“I need your help Gabriel.” Too serious.
“And don’t I know it kid.” Suddenly direct.
“Is there anything...Is there any other way? Anything other than the ritual?”
Gabriel suddenly looks smug, too pleased for Sam’s comfort.
“There are a few other things.” Smiling at him.
Son of a bitch. Gabriel really has been playing him. He shouldn’t be surprised but...
“Oh don’t pout. You really think I’d bind us together Sam? Was never going to happen kiddo.”
“Then why...” Anger heating his voice.
“Because you were never going to take my first offer. You boys are exactly the same. I offer an orange, you’ll demand an apple.”
“Then...”
“The sigil will work...”
“But Bobby...” Countering.
“There are other ways than carving it into your skin.”
“Then how?” Suspicion growing.
Then it dawns. This is why Gabriel didn’t argue when Bobby vetoed his proposal. This is why he answered every single question they threw at him.
Dean starts to stir and Gabriel’s mouth tightens.
“Should I bother to explain or are you just going to refuse to believe me?” Frustration filtering through.
Sam tries not to get angry. This bastard is playing him, he knows it, he can feel it. But he needs him. Needs something to keep Lucifer at bay. Out of his head. Out of his dreams. And Gabriel might have it.
“How can I trust you?” Trying to keep his voice neutral.
“This again?” But he doesn’t look surprised, only resigned. “I’m offering to help, no deals, no contracts, no strings. Just a once in a life time agreement. I agreed Sam. What more do you want?” Then the anger is back, frustration mixed with the constant irritation caused by the Winchester brothers.
“Then tell me the truth. Can you ward my sleep without binding us?” Hazel eyes narrow.
Gabriel stares right back.
“Yes.”
“How?” Sam demands.
“The sigil works. I just carve it into stone with my blood, you keep it against your skin and you’re Lucifer free.” Aiming for a smile but his eyes aren’t reflecting anything but anger.
“Is that it?” Because that’s too simple, without any ritual it’s far too simple.
“It won’t last.” Eyes unwavering.
“How long?”
“Five days. Six at the most.” Slight resignation.
This is what he was offering at the start. Before Sam rejected his help. He told Sam he’d need to be around.
Sam tries to swallow past the nausea. It’s come back to blood again. Which is powerful, addictive...
“What else will it do?” Fighting the disgust he feels at contemplating the offer.
Gabriel’s mouth twists unhappily.
“Apart from hurting like hell every time I slice myself up for you?”
Sam nods, eyes never leaving his face. If Gabriel’s going to lie it’s going to be now. Gabriel’s jaw tightens.
“I’ll feel it when he’s tries to get through to you.” Face suddenly blank, the barest hint of fear. “If he fights hard enough it’s going to hurt, and it won’t be you that’ll feel it kiddo.”
“But you’ll keep doing it?” Sam doesn’t even try to hide his disbelief. Just watches as Gabriel’s shoulders tense before he nods.
“Yes.” Eyes holding Sam’s, unflinching.
“Gabriel...” But Sam has no words. If they do this, if Gabriel does this... Then something else occurs to him. “Will he know it’s you?”
A long pause and Sam can see Gabriel’s nervous. Which makes him nervous. He’s not convinced Gabriel will go through with it. That he’ll keep doing it once it gets hard, when Lucifer starts to fight his way through. Which he will. Gabriel’s a coward, he ran away, he’s never stood up to his family.
“Eventually.”
“Why would you risk that? You’ve been in hiding for...”
The slightest sigh and an eye roll.
“I have a plan you idiot.”
“Why am I not surprised?” Dean’s voice comes from the bed.
Gabriel glances his way but otherwise doesn’t move. Sam watches his entire face flash with anger, quickly followed by resignation. The anger he gets but why the resignation? Sam starts to frown but Dean’s already thrown off the covers.
“So let’s hear it then.” Dean stands, but he doesn’t move any closer.
Apparently his and Sam’s argument had some impact.
“If you don’t wear the sigil every night it’ll take him longer to figure out what’s going on.”
“Right, like he’s not going to notice that Sam’s suddenly unreachable via 1800...”
“I never said he wouldn’t notice.” Faintest hint of anger as he glares at Dean.
“We’ll ask Cas.” Sam interrupts.
Gabriel snorts.
“That’s if he returns your call.” Glare intensifying at Dean.
“He’s just busy.” Dean tries to sound sure, like he hasn’t started to wonder if Cas is alright. He’s starting to seriously hope Cas is just avoiding him.
“Busy avoiding you Winchester?” Snapping, low hum filling the room. “I wonder why he’d be doing that.”
“Can you find him?” Sam breaks in again.
“If you two stop interrupting me every five minutes I can.”
“Then go. I’ll deal with Lucifer. It can wait.” Right now finding Cas is more important. It won’t be easy, he knows that, but he can do this. It won’t be weeks. Gabriel won’t stay away for weeks and risk him saying yes...will he?
“We’re not doing anything without talking to Cas anyway.” Dean just can’t help himself.
“So glad to hear it.”
A quick glance to Sam, head shaking slowly, then he’s gone.
***