LJI Exhibit A - Week 3 - What I Meant to Say.
I had an instructor in undergrad, although he was an adjunct, he was probably the busiest of everyone. Our introduction was a little rough to say the least. This was an intro to management course, which featured him delivering lines like “You can’t discriminate against women in the workforce, but you MUST understand that women get pregnant, have babies, and take time off more than men do” and “If he’s looking a little gay, maybe didn’t shave or take the earring out of his ear, tell him to go see a barber and send him home.”
I’m sure he meant what he said. It’s okay, take your time, I’ll catch you when you come down off the ceiling.
Yeah, we started off on the right foot. I called him out on the second line privately. He didn’t much like me then. But even as conservative as he was (and still is), he believed it was our job to help each other, no more, no less. I didn’t believe he meant that; I thought by each other he really meant, “others that look, talk, and act like me”. I agreed with him in passing.
Later on we’d built some rapport, after having three classes with the guy. Fast forward to my fourth and final course with him, in which I was semi-TA’ing the class, which was right after Hurricanes Irene and Lee ravaged the area. He was unable to be there most of the time, but would conference call in to be present. I was his eyes and hands.
It was final presentations and in the middle a couple of young men dropped a gem - “The goal of this study is to determine ways to reduce reports of rape on campus.”
I’ll wait for y’all to come down off the ceiling again. I don’t think that’s what they meant to say.
Yes, I called these two gentlemen out on this, with a pointed “I think you meant to say ‘reduce incidents of rape on campus’”. I had considered myself some flavor of feminist for the last few years, but this was the first time it really hit home the kind of power a guy telling another guy to not be misogynist, even inadvertently, meant. The collective sigh of relief from the women in the room, and one directly thanking me after class, did. More surprisingly, my instructor thanked me too.
I graduated at the end of that semester, thoroughly tired of the school, the town, and everything else about my undergrad experience, having been on the 7 year plan at a 4 year school (okay, so three different schools, and with a lot of part-time and no-time in there). So wouldn’t it be ironic when I met the guy doing disaster cleanup, with both of us working doing our specialties (me fixing up technology, him doing mold remediation - yes, a PhD in Business that is arguably a better contractor than professor).
It was a brief yet interesting conversation, but it showed he meant what he said, as he was up to his neck in materials to repair flooded basements. I didn’t say what I meant to say to him, even though I close so many emails, letters, and posts with it. If you’ve known me for long you might have seen it, and I mean it again for everyone reading this.
Thanks for everything you do.
I’m sure he meant what he said. It’s okay, take your time, I’ll catch you when you come down off the ceiling.
Yeah, we started off on the right foot. I called him out on the second line privately. He didn’t much like me then. But even as conservative as he was (and still is), he believed it was our job to help each other, no more, no less. I didn’t believe he meant that; I thought by each other he really meant, “others that look, talk, and act like me”. I agreed with him in passing.
Later on we’d built some rapport, after having three classes with the guy. Fast forward to my fourth and final course with him, in which I was semi-TA’ing the class, which was right after Hurricanes Irene and Lee ravaged the area. He was unable to be there most of the time, but would conference call in to be present. I was his eyes and hands.
It was final presentations and in the middle a couple of young men dropped a gem - “The goal of this study is to determine ways to reduce reports of rape on campus.”
I’ll wait for y’all to come down off the ceiling again. I don’t think that’s what they meant to say.
Yes, I called these two gentlemen out on this, with a pointed “I think you meant to say ‘reduce incidents of rape on campus’”. I had considered myself some flavor of feminist for the last few years, but this was the first time it really hit home the kind of power a guy telling another guy to not be misogynist, even inadvertently, meant. The collective sigh of relief from the women in the room, and one directly thanking me after class, did. More surprisingly, my instructor thanked me too.
I graduated at the end of that semester, thoroughly tired of the school, the town, and everything else about my undergrad experience, having been on the 7 year plan at a 4 year school (okay, so three different schools, and with a lot of part-time and no-time in there). So wouldn’t it be ironic when I met the guy doing disaster cleanup, with both of us working doing our specialties (me fixing up technology, him doing mold remediation - yes, a PhD in Business that is arguably a better contractor than professor).
It was a brief yet interesting conversation, but it showed he meant what he said, as he was up to his neck in materials to repair flooded basements. I didn’t say what I meant to say to him, even though I close so many emails, letters, and posts with it. If you’ve known me for long you might have seen it, and I mean it again for everyone reading this.
Thanks for everything you do.