Aug 15, 2008 14:14
if you wanna find yourself by travelin' out west...
sometimes i just feel like i want life to be over. but i don't want it to be over. i want to feel like it's started. i just get so tired. what is wrong with my brain? the days are going by too quickly. i have no more alone, and it drives me crazy. but i need to get used to it. i need to get used to it. i am, and i have gotten used to it, but it's still too new. three years of noise, after thirty of silence. but that's not it either. not really. is it?
my head hurts.
i'm learning to play socially. i act like i'm dying, but it's just an emotional state.
it's just an emotional state.
the end of the world will never come.
but it's getting harder and harder for me to sit on the floor with my feet tucked under me. and that means i am getting old.
a few days ago i heard a girl at open eye coffee shop say, "when you're twenty-four, you're old. when you're twenty-four, you're past your prime. it's over after that." i just kind of stared at her, she wasn't talking to me, and i thought to myself, "she smokes a lot of pot."
wittier. i wish i were witty all of the time. i wish i were witty face to face, instead of shy and dizzy. but i know what i like. and i like cat power.