Alright.
So... I haven't been able to fall asleep yet... I've been working on a CS project since yesterday, and I BARELY finished it in time for the deadline (12:00 am) so yeah... I emailed that off... and then I flipped over and lied down. ... ... ...
Here I am
trying to get my thoughts out... kinda...
I've been thinking a lot about what's happened lately... all the disappointments and the non-disappointments... and... wait... THINKING isn't quite the right word.... Worried would be the right word, m'yes worried... lol anyway. I'm worried about life... I remain optimistic about it... because that's who I am... If I couldn't hold on to my optimistic mind, I'd probably go insane... for obvious reasons. Now... everyone I know is in a bad way... mostly financially... I'm frustrated because I can't help everyone financially... no one but Bill Gates could do that... but you know him... only official charities get monies... XD
No one has asked me for a hand-out... I've offered it gets refused. So I'm saving my cash... and it's being saved for a good cause... It will go out when I intend it to go out... all monies that come in, stay in, unless I really need to spend some of it.
I'm still waiting to hear back from my cousin-in-law... he REALLY needs to get back from Amsterdam... ((Why the FUCK does Disney have a headquarters in Amsterdam? THAT place is only the happiest place on earth if you have money, and aren't afraid of an STD or two...)) anyway... I need to get that job started, like pronto... I'm not even sure what they're going to have me do yet...
Anyone ever start thinking about life... and what little progress you're making.. and for like... a slight second you wish you ceased to exist because it seems too hard? but then you snap out of it and realize you don't want to go down in the second round of the fight, you'd rather stay till a knockout?
0.o... why the hell did I just use boxing terminology to explain a worry of life?
*Blink*
Anyway... yeah... I've been having off and on sore throats since the day after I got back from Lousiana... anyone care to take a guess why? Rats living JUST above my head in a ceiling ... where nobody can get to them... Mold and mildew (which I'm allergic to) growing on the roof... and... yeah.. it's uber dusty here...
So... you ask, why the hell do I still live here? Why my dear Watson, I simply can't afford to go anywhere else. If I wish for my life to work out with any semblance of the plans I had once created for myself, and any of the plans that I had promised to Rami... ((Which I am still trying for)) then I must stay in college, and be able to get there... AND pass all the classes... I have a while to go...
I've only been taking 12 units a quarter... when I should be taking 16-20... why don't I take more? I can't... that's why... My prerequisites don't allow me to... Sure I could take some mickey courses, but that wouldn't get me graduated.
and yeah... I'm almost completely Zomped... and I'm going to put my laptop away for the second time this evening/morning... and hopefully ACTUALLY fall asleep this time... goodnight all... and keep your head on straight... and loosely at the same time... flexibilty is the key to living a wondermous life... I think... I dunno... haven't lived it yet... anywho... yeah... G'night.
and just for good measure.
Enjoy a lawnmower:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=zT60SkXN1UY
Here I am
trying to get my thoughts out... kinda...
I've been thinking a lot about what's happened lately... all the disappointments and the non-disappointments... and... wait... THINKING isn't quite the right word.... Worried would be the right word, m'yes worried... lol anyway. I'm worried about life... I remain optimistic about it... because that's who I am... If I couldn't hold on to my optimistic mind, I'd probably go insane... for obvious reasons. Now... everyone I know is in a bad way... mostly financially... I'm frustrated because I can't help everyone financially... no one but Bill Gates could do that... but you know him... only official charities get monies... XD
No one has asked me for a hand-out... I've offered it gets refused. So I'm saving my cash... and it's being saved for a good cause... It will go out when I intend it to go out... all monies that come in, stay in, unless I really need to spend some of it.
I'm still waiting to hear back from my cousin-in-law... he REALLY needs to get back from Amsterdam... ((Why the FUCK does Disney have a headquarters in Amsterdam? THAT place is only the happiest place on earth if you have money, and aren't afraid of an STD or two...)) anyway... I need to get that job started, like pronto... I'm not even sure what they're going to have me do yet...
Anyone ever start thinking about life... and what little progress you're making.. and for like... a slight second you wish you ceased to exist because it seems too hard? but then you snap out of it and realize you don't want to go down in the second round of the fight, you'd rather stay till a knockout?
0.o... why the hell did I just use boxing terminology to explain a worry of life?
*Blink*
Anyway... yeah... I've been having off and on sore throats since the day after I got back from Lousiana... anyone care to take a guess why? Rats living JUST above my head in a ceiling ... where nobody can get to them... Mold and mildew (which I'm allergic to) growing on the roof... and... yeah.. it's uber dusty here...
So... you ask, why the hell do I still live here? Why my dear Watson, I simply can't afford to go anywhere else. If I wish for my life to work out with any semblance of the plans I had once created for myself, and any of the plans that I had promised to Rami... ((Which I am still trying for)) then I must stay in college, and be able to get there... AND pass all the classes... I have a while to go...
I've only been taking 12 units a quarter... when I should be taking 16-20... why don't I take more? I can't... that's why... My prerequisites don't allow me to... Sure I could take some mickey courses, but that wouldn't get me graduated.
and yeah... I'm almost completely Zomped... and I'm going to put my laptop away for the second time this evening/morning... and hopefully ACTUALLY fall asleep this time... goodnight all... and keep your head on straight... and loosely at the same time... flexibilty is the key to living a wondermous life... I think... I dunno... haven't lived it yet... anywho... yeah... G'night.
and just for good measure.
Enjoy a lawnmower:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=zT60SkXN1UY