and the moral of the story is it all looks terrible depending on what you look through...

[ravenofroses]

so in a word, this summer has been fucked. i've been floating along, trying to keep above water as best i can. i've been online a lot. researching things, talking to people, passing the time until my next period of unconsciousness. some work thrown in there as well, but that's getting to be more and more of a joke. i'm down to seven and a half hours a week now. class starts in a couple weeks. i don't know what i'll do then. i hope i survive another semester. i still have to take care of some things. i'm not sure when that will happen. it's been all i can do to just keep calm. well, relatively calm. for my standards.

also, i just came out to my mother. as buddhist. which, as we all know, isn't exactly what i am. but it's at the core of my beliefs, and it's what has brought me the little peace i've known over the years.

she's...taking it well. so far. it remains to be seen whether she continues to take it well. and whether my father takes it well.

i told her that nobody outside of our little family unit needs to know. and reassured her that i'll still go to mass with the family on holidays and the such. because at this point, that's our tradition. it's where we see the extended family and it's important to them. i respect that.

i'm afraid that i've made a mistake. but it's out now, and what happens next is up to my family.

good vibes, people. i will need them in the coming weeks.