(no subject)
I Miss...
.....
*MTV's 120 Minutes,The Young Ones,Monty Python,the Black Adder,the BBC,Carnivale.
*film-maker Derek Jarman and Jhonn Balance,lead singer of Coil.
*going to Woolworth's as a kid to have lunch with my grandmother.
*when boys were merely ok but street skateboarding was my true love.
*my Grandmother Doris(who passed away some time ago),the little black miniature poodles she raised and the way her house always had that 'musty,doily,attic smell'.The way almost every room in the house was 'off limits' so it only made me feel like nancy drew and all the more curious
*my mom's ex-husband,Richard.He was so good to her,the 1st in several marriages and also truly treated me like a daughter,giving me away at my wedding.He had a heart attack while they were on vacation in Tennessee.The following week would have been their wedding anniversary.
*carmel apples and popcorn balls at halloween.Trying to hit up the houses for the best candy.haunted houses.marshmallow peeps,bunnies & chicks at easter,parades and catholic Mass on TV.
*being gently shaken awake by 2 young kids.
*road trips.
*my young,experimenting goth/punk days.When every new day held so much promise.
*state fairs,pulled salt-water taffy,lit up ferris wheels and roller coasters.
*bbq's and fireworks on 4th of july with my family
*when utility bills/rent didn't interfere with my plans for fun.
*true friends that don't just disappear.
*the birthday lunch tradition that my mother,myself and my grandmother had of getting together and being treated because my grandmother and I both have birthdays in april.Now they still do it but I live too far away:/
*snowball fights,snowmen and snow cones,hot chocolate and warm blankets, falling down and making snow angels,ice-sickles sparkling in the sun(that will come soon enough though,shiver)
*what I may have forgotten.
*sticking up for/protecting my younger brother from ridicule in school.kids can be so mean.It makes me sad that I cannot be there for him in the situation he is in right now.I hope he knows that I think about him alot.
----------------
*not being afraid to 'take the plunge'.
*seeing my ex dress in crazy outfits or accept stupid dares just to get a reaction out of people.
*the way he would kiss me from head to toe,ending on my forehead because he knew how much I adore that.
*the little gifts he would give me when he really didn't have to.I was just content with being together,that was a gift unto itself in my eyes.
*that silly,never-ending smile.
*the way during sex,he would ask me if it was ok to proceed,to make sure I was enjoying what he was doing.The way his voice became tender and sincere.
*when he made me coffee and brought me breakfast in bed.
*being comforted by him and feeling like it would all be ok.
*so much of everything about him.
*an unbroken heart
*being able to ever smile again on my own.
*feeling loved & alive.
.....
*MTV's 120 Minutes,The Young Ones,Monty Python,the Black Adder,the BBC,Carnivale.
*film-maker Derek Jarman and Jhonn Balance,lead singer of Coil.
*going to Woolworth's as a kid to have lunch with my grandmother.
*when boys were merely ok but street skateboarding was my true love.
*my Grandmother Doris(who passed away some time ago),the little black miniature poodles she raised and the way her house always had that 'musty,doily,attic smell'.The way almost every room in the house was 'off limits' so it only made me feel like nancy drew and all the more curious
*my mom's ex-husband,Richard.He was so good to her,the 1st in several marriages and also truly treated me like a daughter,giving me away at my wedding.He had a heart attack while they were on vacation in Tennessee.The following week would have been their wedding anniversary.
*carmel apples and popcorn balls at halloween.Trying to hit up the houses for the best candy.haunted houses.marshmallow peeps,bunnies & chicks at easter,parades and catholic Mass on TV.
*being gently shaken awake by 2 young kids.
*road trips.
*my young,experimenting goth/punk days.When every new day held so much promise.
*state fairs,pulled salt-water taffy,lit up ferris wheels and roller coasters.
*bbq's and fireworks on 4th of july with my family
*when utility bills/rent didn't interfere with my plans for fun.
*true friends that don't just disappear.
*the birthday lunch tradition that my mother,myself and my grandmother had of getting together and being treated because my grandmother and I both have birthdays in april.Now they still do it but I live too far away:/
*snowball fights,snowmen and snow cones,hot chocolate and warm blankets, falling down and making snow angels,ice-sickles sparkling in the sun(that will come soon enough though,shiver)
*what I may have forgotten.
*sticking up for/protecting my younger brother from ridicule in school.kids can be so mean.It makes me sad that I cannot be there for him in the situation he is in right now.I hope he knows that I think about him alot.
----------------
*not being afraid to 'take the plunge'.
*seeing my ex dress in crazy outfits or accept stupid dares just to get a reaction out of people.
*the way he would kiss me from head to toe,ending on my forehead because he knew how much I adore that.
*the little gifts he would give me when he really didn't have to.I was just content with being together,that was a gift unto itself in my eyes.
*that silly,never-ending smile.
*the way during sex,he would ask me if it was ok to proceed,to make sure I was enjoying what he was doing.The way his voice became tender and sincere.
*when he made me coffee and brought me breakfast in bed.
*being comforted by him and feeling like it would all be ok.
*so much of everything about him.
*an unbroken heart
*being able to ever smile again on my own.
*feeling loved & alive.