All About Me Meme - Day 5!
I’m going to change the rules of this Meme and say, as long as I can just make 30 posts with the topics from it, I’m okay! Cause clearly I have trouble doing this 30 days in a row. And no, just because I am online for hours at a time, doesn’t mean that I have for this. I am a busy person online.
Day 01 - Introduce yourself
Day 02 - Your first love, in great detail
Day 03 - Your parents, in great detail
Day 04 - What you ate today, in great detail
Day 05 - Your definition of love, in great detail
Day 06 - Your day, in great detail
Day 07 - Your best friend, in great detail
Day 08 - A moment, in great detail
Day 09 - Your beliefs, in great detail
Day 10 - What you wore today, in great detail
Day 11 - Your siblings, in great detail
Day 12 - What’s in your bag, in great detail
Day 13 - This week, in great detail
Day 14 - What you wore today, in great detail
Day 15 - Your dreams, in great detail
Day 16 - Your first kiss, in great detail
Day 17 - Your favorite memory, in great detail
Day 18 - Your favorite birthday, in great detail
Day 19 - Something you regret, in great detail
Day 20 - This month, in great detail
Day 21 - Another moment, in great detail
Day 22 - Something that upsets you, in great detail
Day 23 - Something that makes you feel better, in great detail
Day 24 - Something that makes you cry, in great detail
Day 25 - A first, in great detail
Day 26 - Your fears, in great detail
Day 27 - Your favorite place, in great detail
Day 28 - Something that you miss, in great detail
Day 29 - Your aspirations, in great detail
Day 30 - One last moment, in great detail
I am so bemused that the topic goes from “food you ate today!” to “Definition of love” a little unbalanced there meme! Plus I felt some pressure with this one because I know a certain someone will be reading it and I kind of feel like if I put in words what I define love as, this person will take it to heart and literal. The thing with my ideas though, is that they are subject to change. I may believe what I write here now, but that does not mean I will believe the same way 1 year from now, 5 years from now or whenever. Ideas are subject to change and I love keeping my options open.
Firstly, I don’t have just one definition for love because love in my mind has a great deal of levels underneath that one umbrella word. Like platonic love, romantic love, familial love, unconditional love, fandom love and many others I am sure that I am not even aware of but the ones that I mentioned are the ones I tend to express most.
I think the smallest of those loves in level of seriousness is Fandom love. I throw around the word love all the time and it doesn’t actually mean that I love something in the literal sense; I’m more using the word as a way to show measurement of my appreciation for something that goes beyond merely enjoying it. When I say I love an actor/a character I certainly don’t mean that I am infatuated with them in a romantic way. I really just enjoy watching them perform or I enjoy the type of character that they are. For instance, Carth Onasi in the original KOTOR game, I loved his character. He was entertaining and I dare say I came really close to fangirling him. I consider this fandom love. Now, I’m not so much into him. I like the character still, I wish he had been in other KOTOR games and when I play KOTOR, I will probably have him as a constant companion because I enjoy the character more then others. That is fandom love in my mind. Carth is just one example, anyone that really knows my fandom history will know I have a lot of Fandom love for many characters.
Platonic love is something that I will associate with anyone that I have affection for them but it’s still not romantic. This would probably apply to friends mostly. I have a good number of friends that I feel platonic love towards. I care about their well being and want to know that their life is going well. And if it’s not, I’ll be there to provide an ear to for them or a shoulder to cry on. I think this love is important for many reasons because this is the support system. If family is not available, then your friends, if they are really friends should be there to help you in ways that they can. I don’t mean like they should invite you to live with them and if they don’t, then they really don’t care. Some people don’t have the ability to do that but that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be valuable as friends. It’s the emotional and mental support that comes with having a group of friends that you know you can rely on.
Familial love deals with family obviously. I don’t think that exclusively means blood related though. I know friends can graduate to being considered like family. I just think it’s a different type of love. Platonic love I think develops as a friendship grows. Familial love I think is innate in some ways because they are your family. I would even say there is a bit of unconditional love in there but maybe not with everyone since I know some people just don’t get along or can’t forgive their family members for doing something but personally for me, family is family and you have to love them. And my personal relationship with my family members is that it is unconditional. I will angry with them for things but that doesn’t mean I will shun them. If my family is in trouble, I try to do what I can, even if it can be just offering emotional support.
Romantic love is the trickiest for me to really analyze about myself. I have very little experience in that and it’s different for everyone. No amount of Rules or romance novels are going to prepare you for how you react in a romantic situation. I know this to be a fact. At least it’s a fact for me. I don’t believe in that love at first sight nonsense. I believe you can have lust at first sight, or infatuation, or interest but it’s very hard for me to suspend my belief that a person can look at another and just know without really knowing them that they are “the one”. This is probably why I find the Twilight series to be a complete joke. I don’t read anything from that book that tells me that these two people really love each other in a healthy sort of way. I see a great deal of obsession and lust but other then that, not love. Perhaps that’s the author’s fault or maybe she’s secretly an evil genius because being so vague about everything and one dimensional left a great deal of room for the fan base to add their own details.
I believe that love is something that has to build over time. Love comes when you get to know the person. I’m hesitant to say that romantic love is unconditional. It shouldn’t be. There are obvious cases where it shouldn’t be. I think it could come to a point where it’s unconditional but I believe that would be a long, long, long process for it to get to that point. And I don’t believe that love means you don’t fight, or that you have spend every waking moment with the person and any sort of separation means that you don’t love them. Fights happen. You are going to disagree on things. There is no getting around it and no avoiding it. What really matters is that after the fights, do you still want to stick around?
I am very uneasy about the idea of love that some people have, that suggests you have to give up who you are as an individual. I was a whole person before I met my significant other, why should I reduce that if I’m partnered with someone? I have no problems with compromise as long as I am not compromising who I am at the core. Giving up a little bit it fine but I don’t want give up key elements. I don’t want to and can’t change for another person. I have to want to do that for myself.
Which actually brings me to a love I forgot all about and it’s so important because I believe it’s a key to a successful romantic love- self love! I have to be able to love who I am as a person. It is not someone else’s job to make sure that I am complete. That is my job. That is my responsibility and if I have to rely on another person to make me happy, then I’m screwed because that’s a lot of pressure to put on a person and I really think it’s almost selfish in a way. I don’t want to feel I have to say to someone that the key to my happiness depends on them. It shouldn’t. They can be apart of my happiness but it shouldn’t depend on them. If I am not happy with who I am outside of them, then I don’t believe that romantic love can be sustained.
Those are my definitions of love. At twenty-four years of age, this is what I believe. I’m interested to see if any of it changes in the future.
Day 01 - Introduce yourself
Day 02 - Your first love, in great detail
Day 03 - Your parents, in great detail
Day 04 - What you ate today, in great detail
Day 05 - Your definition of love, in great detail
Day 06 - Your day, in great detail
Day 07 - Your best friend, in great detail
Day 08 - A moment, in great detail
Day 09 - Your beliefs, in great detail
Day 10 - What you wore today, in great detail
Day 11 - Your siblings, in great detail
Day 12 - What’s in your bag, in great detail
Day 13 - This week, in great detail
Day 14 - What you wore today, in great detail
Day 15 - Your dreams, in great detail
Day 16 - Your first kiss, in great detail
Day 17 - Your favorite memory, in great detail
Day 18 - Your favorite birthday, in great detail
Day 19 - Something you regret, in great detail
Day 20 - This month, in great detail
Day 21 - Another moment, in great detail
Day 22 - Something that upsets you, in great detail
Day 23 - Something that makes you feel better, in great detail
Day 24 - Something that makes you cry, in great detail
Day 25 - A first, in great detail
Day 26 - Your fears, in great detail
Day 27 - Your favorite place, in great detail
Day 28 - Something that you miss, in great detail
Day 29 - Your aspirations, in great detail
Day 30 - One last moment, in great detail
I am so bemused that the topic goes from “food you ate today!” to “Definition of love” a little unbalanced there meme! Plus I felt some pressure with this one because I know a certain someone will be reading it and I kind of feel like if I put in words what I define love as, this person will take it to heart and literal. The thing with my ideas though, is that they are subject to change. I may believe what I write here now, but that does not mean I will believe the same way 1 year from now, 5 years from now or whenever. Ideas are subject to change and I love keeping my options open.
Firstly, I don’t have just one definition for love because love in my mind has a great deal of levels underneath that one umbrella word. Like platonic love, romantic love, familial love, unconditional love, fandom love and many others I am sure that I am not even aware of but the ones that I mentioned are the ones I tend to express most.
I think the smallest of those loves in level of seriousness is Fandom love. I throw around the word love all the time and it doesn’t actually mean that I love something in the literal sense; I’m more using the word as a way to show measurement of my appreciation for something that goes beyond merely enjoying it. When I say I love an actor/a character I certainly don’t mean that I am infatuated with them in a romantic way. I really just enjoy watching them perform or I enjoy the type of character that they are. For instance, Carth Onasi in the original KOTOR game, I loved his character. He was entertaining and I dare say I came really close to fangirling him. I consider this fandom love. Now, I’m not so much into him. I like the character still, I wish he had been in other KOTOR games and when I play KOTOR, I will probably have him as a constant companion because I enjoy the character more then others. That is fandom love in my mind. Carth is just one example, anyone that really knows my fandom history will know I have a lot of Fandom love for many characters.
Platonic love is something that I will associate with anyone that I have affection for them but it’s still not romantic. This would probably apply to friends mostly. I have a good number of friends that I feel platonic love towards. I care about their well being and want to know that their life is going well. And if it’s not, I’ll be there to provide an ear to for them or a shoulder to cry on. I think this love is important for many reasons because this is the support system. If family is not available, then your friends, if they are really friends should be there to help you in ways that they can. I don’t mean like they should invite you to live with them and if they don’t, then they really don’t care. Some people don’t have the ability to do that but that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be valuable as friends. It’s the emotional and mental support that comes with having a group of friends that you know you can rely on.
Familial love deals with family obviously. I don’t think that exclusively means blood related though. I know friends can graduate to being considered like family. I just think it’s a different type of love. Platonic love I think develops as a friendship grows. Familial love I think is innate in some ways because they are your family. I would even say there is a bit of unconditional love in there but maybe not with everyone since I know some people just don’t get along or can’t forgive their family members for doing something but personally for me, family is family and you have to love them. And my personal relationship with my family members is that it is unconditional. I will angry with them for things but that doesn’t mean I will shun them. If my family is in trouble, I try to do what I can, even if it can be just offering emotional support.
Romantic love is the trickiest for me to really analyze about myself. I have very little experience in that and it’s different for everyone. No amount of Rules or romance novels are going to prepare you for how you react in a romantic situation. I know this to be a fact. At least it’s a fact for me. I don’t believe in that love at first sight nonsense. I believe you can have lust at first sight, or infatuation, or interest but it’s very hard for me to suspend my belief that a person can look at another and just know without really knowing them that they are “the one”. This is probably why I find the Twilight series to be a complete joke. I don’t read anything from that book that tells me that these two people really love each other in a healthy sort of way. I see a great deal of obsession and lust but other then that, not love. Perhaps that’s the author’s fault or maybe she’s secretly an evil genius because being so vague about everything and one dimensional left a great deal of room for the fan base to add their own details.
I believe that love is something that has to build over time. Love comes when you get to know the person. I’m hesitant to say that romantic love is unconditional. It shouldn’t be. There are obvious cases where it shouldn’t be. I think it could come to a point where it’s unconditional but I believe that would be a long, long, long process for it to get to that point. And I don’t believe that love means you don’t fight, or that you have spend every waking moment with the person and any sort of separation means that you don’t love them. Fights happen. You are going to disagree on things. There is no getting around it and no avoiding it. What really matters is that after the fights, do you still want to stick around?
I am very uneasy about the idea of love that some people have, that suggests you have to give up who you are as an individual. I was a whole person before I met my significant other, why should I reduce that if I’m partnered with someone? I have no problems with compromise as long as I am not compromising who I am at the core. Giving up a little bit it fine but I don’t want give up key elements. I don’t want to and can’t change for another person. I have to want to do that for myself.
Which actually brings me to a love I forgot all about and it’s so important because I believe it’s a key to a successful romantic love- self love! I have to be able to love who I am as a person. It is not someone else’s job to make sure that I am complete. That is my job. That is my responsibility and if I have to rely on another person to make me happy, then I’m screwed because that’s a lot of pressure to put on a person and I really think it’s almost selfish in a way. I don’t want to feel I have to say to someone that the key to my happiness depends on them. It shouldn’t. They can be apart of my happiness but it shouldn’t depend on them. If I am not happy with who I am outside of them, then I don’t believe that romantic love can be sustained.
Those are my definitions of love. At twenty-four years of age, this is what I believe. I’m interested to see if any of it changes in the future.