(no subject)
I got a 2.1 and a 2.5 (of 4) on my first two papers this quarter. Small papers, things I have decent interest in but am not overwhelmed by. Papers I didn't prepare for extensively, but didn't brush off either. 2.1 and 2.5. I was vocally horrified by the first one and more sedately terrified by the second one.
I always thought writing was something I could fall back one, always internally defined myself as a good writer who just didn't write much. I expect to completely fail the multiple choice section of tests, but I always do well enough in the essay portion to make up for it. Except when I really study for the multiple choice, I do well ... and apparently when I don't write anymore I don't do so well.
I'm so overwhelmed I feel like I'm in week eight of the quarter. Which is a good thing. Usually around week eight I realize I'm still in class and I start making more effective decisions about what I should do with my time. If I skip this class, I'd better spend those two hours damn well. If I sleep in every morning instead of using those free morning hours, I'm never going to get my reading done. If I don't study, I'm going to fail - these last-minute realizations keep me academically alive. So it's good I'm freaking out about failing college entirely because of two tiny papers, because hopefully I'll change my habits now rather than when I check my grades over winter break and discover something like a 2.2.
Uk ... Fortunately I really like being in the library - the smell, the books, the quiet, the fact that I can't wander into the kitchen for snacks constantly - because I'll need to anchor myself here to get everything done.
I always thought writing was something I could fall back one, always internally defined myself as a good writer who just didn't write much. I expect to completely fail the multiple choice section of tests, but I always do well enough in the essay portion to make up for it. Except when I really study for the multiple choice, I do well ... and apparently when I don't write anymore I don't do so well.
I'm so overwhelmed I feel like I'm in week eight of the quarter. Which is a good thing. Usually around week eight I realize I'm still in class and I start making more effective decisions about what I should do with my time. If I skip this class, I'd better spend those two hours damn well. If I sleep in every morning instead of using those free morning hours, I'm never going to get my reading done. If I don't study, I'm going to fail - these last-minute realizations keep me academically alive. So it's good I'm freaking out about failing college entirely because of two tiny papers, because hopefully I'll change my habits now rather than when I check my grades over winter break and discover something like a 2.2.
Uk ... Fortunately I really like being in the library - the smell, the books, the quiet, the fact that I can't wander into the kitchen for snacks constantly - because I'll need to anchor myself here to get everything done.