My 2012...?
I wanted to write something like „This was my 2012“, but thinking about it - there’s not much to tell. Nothing happened, end of story. xD
Well, of course ‚nothing‘ is not correct, but nothing worth enough to be told here. Work sucks as usual, and I have to fight a lot. After suffering from depressions and burnout in 2009/2010 I have to do twice as much as the others just to show that I’m worth the same…
I talked to a few persons for the first time in 2012, and I’ve enjoyed it. I’m happy to have them in my life, even if they are far away or busy as me or… whatever.
Basically, human beings still scare me. I can’t help it, fear is part of me and probably always will be. Sometimes I can live with it without problems, sometimes I just want to hide in my flat and die lonely. I just feel humble, minor, things like that…
There are some people who I have to think about very often, three persons to be precise. I wonder how they are, if there’s anything I could do for them, I think that I’d like to talk to them much more… but I don’t say any of this aloud. I’m afraid that people (especially those three) might forget me or stop liking me. (I don’t worry about all people I know, of course. Either I don’t care or I know that they are my friends, easy as that, haha!) Welcome to my madness!
I wanted to do many things last year, but I did none of them. Most of the time it wasn’t even my fault. ^^; I should just stop to look forward to something… since 2007 it’s a 100%-way to ruin things. That’s why I won’t look forward to 2013. I want to travel (after being stuck here for such a long time), but I won’t look forward to vacations until I’m really in a plane. Or a train, car, whatever brings me away from here. And I want to go to a concert again. I haven't heard live music for soooo long. *sobs*
There are also some things I want to chance, but I won’t make any New Year resolutions. I think - if you really want to change something, start now. No excuse to wait until next year. I’ve already paved the way for several things, and I hope I’ll be strong enough… I just have to. I feel it’s now or never. I want to meet people and feel ‚equal‘. It’s not possible at the moment, it’s up to me to change that.
I‘ve already quit smoking, so wish me luck for the rest of my list… *scared*
Well, one reason why 2013 will be great no matter what: Iron Man 3 ftw!! xD Oh, I love Iron Man... <3
See? Nothing interesting. But this also means that nothing really bad happened...
Well, of course ‚nothing‘ is not correct, but nothing worth enough to be told here. Work sucks as usual, and I have to fight a lot. After suffering from depressions and burnout in 2009/2010 I have to do twice as much as the others just to show that I’m worth the same…
I talked to a few persons for the first time in 2012, and I’ve enjoyed it. I’m happy to have them in my life, even if they are far away or busy as me or… whatever.
Basically, human beings still scare me. I can’t help it, fear is part of me and probably always will be. Sometimes I can live with it without problems, sometimes I just want to hide in my flat and die lonely. I just feel humble, minor, things like that…
There are some people who I have to think about very often, three persons to be precise. I wonder how they are, if there’s anything I could do for them, I think that I’d like to talk to them much more… but I don’t say any of this aloud. I’m afraid that people (especially those three) might forget me or stop liking me. (I don’t worry about all people I know, of course. Either I don’t care or I know that they are my friends, easy as that, haha!) Welcome to my madness!
I wanted to do many things last year, but I did none of them. Most of the time it wasn’t even my fault. ^^; I should just stop to look forward to something… since 2007 it’s a 100%-way to ruin things. That’s why I won’t look forward to 2013. I want to travel (after being stuck here for such a long time), but I won’t look forward to vacations until I’m really in a plane. Or a train, car, whatever brings me away from here. And I want to go to a concert again. I haven't heard live music for soooo long. *sobs*
There are also some things I want to chance, but I won’t make any New Year resolutions. I think - if you really want to change something, start now. No excuse to wait until next year. I’ve already paved the way for several things, and I hope I’ll be strong enough… I just have to. I feel it’s now or never. I want to meet people and feel ‚equal‘. It’s not possible at the moment, it’s up to me to change that.
I‘ve already quit smoking, so wish me luck for the rest of my list… *scared*
Well, one reason why 2013 will be great no matter what: Iron Man 3 ftw!! xD Oh, I love Iron Man... <3
See? Nothing interesting. But this also means that nothing really bad happened...