Gackt - 10 years
This morning I remembered that I ‚know‘ Gackt for 10 years now. This text here won’t have much structure as I’ll just write down some thoughts and memories (and I have more and more problems to express myself in English… orz).
Like I said, I first heard about Gackt 10 years ago. Of course I don’t remember the exact date, but it was around September 2002. I didn’t know much about Japanese music these days - I listened to X Japan a lot, that’s all.
I remember that I’ve read a magazine about Japanese culture (most of it about anime and manga xD) in Sep 2002. There was also a report about Gackt and his Moon-project in that magazine. I was fascinated at once and started to search for more informations on the internet. The first song I heard was Oasis. I thought „Oh my god, that’s it!!!“ (Whatever ‚it‘ is - I still don't know.) That was when I became a supporter of Gackt.
I’ve met many artists of Japanese music industry (working voluntarily at an anime convention can be helpful, haha). I know a lot about the business - not enough, I guess, but definetely more than an average person. It was… disenchanting in some way, but I’m happy about it. I don’t write love letters or stare at photos, I don’t daydream or cry when my favorite artist ‚suddenly‘ has a girlfriend. It makes my life easier. ^^
In 2009 I became very ill. It was hell. The world was just a dark place for me. I suffered. My family suffered. I lost my will to fight. During this time I was living in an own world, I didn’t know what was going on outside of it. Nothing. I listened to news, but I didn’t understand them. My family tried to cheer me up, but I wasn’t able to laugh.
Well, I just write this for you to understand at least a bit what I was like back then.
Obviously I’m still here. I decided to fight against the darkness and all diseases. I laughed again. I apperceived what happens around me. That was in spring 2010. It was (and still is) a slow process, but at least there was process at all.
During all this time I’ve listened to Gackt’s music, even though I’ve had no clue what he was doing back then. (I’ve also watched too many Disney movies this time, but that’s another story.)
On July 4th 2010 I thought „Oh right, G’s birthday! I wonder what he’s been doing…“ So I started to search for news on the internet and found out that YFCz were doing a tour through Europe in July 2010. Haha, I was soooo shocked! xD „Whaaaat, this month?!?!“ Of course the tour was already sold out, and because of my health I was broke anyway.
When I told my Mum about the tour, she gave me 200 Euro saying „Look at eBay for tickets, rent a hotel room, buy a train ticket! It’s your dream to see Gackt live, right? This is the chance, take it!“ (Oh Mum, you are the best.)
So I went to Bochum to see the concert on July 24th. It was my last weekend in ‚freedom‘, because on July 26th I had to go back to work - after 10 months at home (in hell). I was scared because of this, and I didn’t really want to go to work again, but of course I had to… so this concert was perfect distraction.
This weekend in Bochum means very, very much to me (5-6 of you know why). It was a dream coming true. It was fun, I laughed a lot. Some strange things have happened (I just mention ‚lady in wheelchair‘ here) as well as very wonderful things. This was probably the time when I knew that Gackt would always be in my heart.
I’ve met so many wonderful people during these 10 years. Hooray to the internet! People who are strong, people who help other fans to get stuff without having any benefit of it, people who take you the way you are... I'm thankful for that.
I know some people here are no fans of him anymore (for a variety of reasons). And I understand most of the reasons why people turn their backs on him. I… can’t.
I’m a member of Dears FC, even though I hardly understand Japanese. Every year I wonder if it was okay not to renew the membership, but… I’m still a member, I don’t have the heart to resign membership.
The Moon Saga-project is something which I don’t really get - maybe because I don’t have a chance to see it. (Damn, I love CLAMP!)
… I’ve mentioned it in the past - he’s far away at the moment, in every meaning of the word. But he’s not gone. For me he’ll always be there - an everything but perfect, dorky, hard working big brother.
At first I wondered if I should mail him and thank him for the past 10 years, but... I don't know, what could I write? I'm not good at writing mails (or any texts in general), so... no mail this time, haha!
I don’t write texts like this very often. I even don’t know if it’s right to write this LJ-entry, it's a bit embarrassing. But as 10 years is a long time, it's nice to look back and to remember. And it’s nice to look forward to whatever will come.
I hope I can see a Visualive one day, even though it’s not very likely. I also have some questions (I’ve mentioned it in a previous post), but I’m giving up on hope that I’ll ever get an answer to them.
Well... I planned to spend vacations in Sweden this year, but I have the sense that it won't happen - so I'll probably save the money for a trip to Japan. Just in case. ^^;
... okay, this is really a chaotic text. *laughs*
Like I said, I first heard about Gackt 10 years ago. Of course I don’t remember the exact date, but it was around September 2002. I didn’t know much about Japanese music these days - I listened to X Japan a lot, that’s all.
I remember that I’ve read a magazine about Japanese culture (most of it about anime and manga xD) in Sep 2002. There was also a report about Gackt and his Moon-project in that magazine. I was fascinated at once and started to search for more informations on the internet. The first song I heard was Oasis. I thought „Oh my god, that’s it!!!“ (Whatever ‚it‘ is - I still don't know.) That was when I became a supporter of Gackt.
I’ve met many artists of Japanese music industry (working voluntarily at an anime convention can be helpful, haha). I know a lot about the business - not enough, I guess, but definetely more than an average person. It was… disenchanting in some way, but I’m happy about it. I don’t write love letters or stare at photos, I don’t daydream or cry when my favorite artist ‚suddenly‘ has a girlfriend. It makes my life easier. ^^
In 2009 I became very ill. It was hell. The world was just a dark place for me. I suffered. My family suffered. I lost my will to fight. During this time I was living in an own world, I didn’t know what was going on outside of it. Nothing. I listened to news, but I didn’t understand them. My family tried to cheer me up, but I wasn’t able to laugh.
Well, I just write this for you to understand at least a bit what I was like back then.
Obviously I’m still here. I decided to fight against the darkness and all diseases. I laughed again. I apperceived what happens around me. That was in spring 2010. It was (and still is) a slow process, but at least there was process at all.
During all this time I’ve listened to Gackt’s music, even though I’ve had no clue what he was doing back then. (I’ve also watched too many Disney movies this time, but that’s another story.)
On July 4th 2010 I thought „Oh right, G’s birthday! I wonder what he’s been doing…“ So I started to search for news on the internet and found out that YFCz were doing a tour through Europe in July 2010. Haha, I was soooo shocked! xD „Whaaaat, this month?!?!“ Of course the tour was already sold out, and because of my health I was broke anyway.
When I told my Mum about the tour, she gave me 200 Euro saying „Look at eBay for tickets, rent a hotel room, buy a train ticket! It’s your dream to see Gackt live, right? This is the chance, take it!“ (Oh Mum, you are the best.)
So I went to Bochum to see the concert on July 24th. It was my last weekend in ‚freedom‘, because on July 26th I had to go back to work - after 10 months at home (in hell). I was scared because of this, and I didn’t really want to go to work again, but of course I had to… so this concert was perfect distraction.
This weekend in Bochum means very, very much to me (5-6 of you know why). It was a dream coming true. It was fun, I laughed a lot. Some strange things have happened (I just mention ‚lady in wheelchair‘ here) as well as very wonderful things. This was probably the time when I knew that Gackt would always be in my heart.
I’ve met so many wonderful people during these 10 years. Hooray to the internet! People who are strong, people who help other fans to get stuff without having any benefit of it, people who take you the way you are... I'm thankful for that.
I know some people here are no fans of him anymore (for a variety of reasons). And I understand most of the reasons why people turn their backs on him. I… can’t.
I’m a member of Dears FC, even though I hardly understand Japanese. Every year I wonder if it was okay not to renew the membership, but… I’m still a member, I don’t have the heart to resign membership.
The Moon Saga-project is something which I don’t really get - maybe because I don’t have a chance to see it. (Damn, I love CLAMP!)
… I’ve mentioned it in the past - he’s far away at the moment, in every meaning of the word. But he’s not gone. For me he’ll always be there - an everything but perfect, dorky, hard working big brother.
At first I wondered if I should mail him and thank him for the past 10 years, but... I don't know, what could I write? I'm not good at writing mails (or any texts in general), so... no mail this time, haha!
I don’t write texts like this very often. I even don’t know if it’s right to write this LJ-entry, it's a bit embarrassing. But as 10 years is a long time, it's nice to look back and to remember. And it’s nice to look forward to whatever will come.
I hope I can see a Visualive one day, even though it’s not very likely. I also have some questions (I’ve mentioned it in a previous post), but I’m giving up on hope that I’ll ever get an answer to them.
Well... I planned to spend vacations in Sweden this year, but I have the sense that it won't happen - so I'll probably save the money for a trip to Japan. Just in case. ^^;
... okay, this is really a chaotic text. *laughs*