struggling thoughts
you know its very annoying when your somewhere doing something that does not allow you to write stuff down. I get the most incredible ideas when im driving or just waking up. I know i need to write right now, i need to express whats going on in my heart but its just difficult to figure out how to start, where to start, what to say. I am heartbroken and jaded by this past year. I have done things im not too proud of, i have let myself believe in something that wasnt real, and i let my emotions get the better of me. I am now in the process of healing, patching up my self esteem, sufficating the ever present depression and forcing myself to believe...I am a good person, i dont deserve to be hurt. I dont need to be around people who feed into this sink hole, i dont want to be caught up in the drama that it would cause. Its going to be a constant struggle for me to trust again. That is a struggle im not willing to deal with right now. Right now i need support I need good friends who care about me.