Goodbye
Disclaimer: Well I certainly don’t own it. Last I checked, my name is not J.K. Rowling.
Warnings: Mild swearing. Character Death. You have been warned.
Rating: T for mild swearing
Full Summary- During the battle of Hogwarts, Remus is hit with a curse. After the battle, he goes to Madame Pomfrey to find out what the curse was. She examines him and tells him that the curse is fatal and gives him an hour to live. Remus decides that he would rather die alone at home than in the hospital wing surrounded by people who would pity him. Madame Pomfrey wants him to stay but relents and lets him leave. Remus asks her to tell the others that he wants to be alone and not to tell them what’s really going on until the hour is up. Sirius learns where Remus has gone and disregards his wish to be alone. Shortly after arriving home, he learns why his love returned home alone. Sirius resolves not to leave Remus alone and makes his last hour happy.
OoO
Remus never saw it coming. He didn’t even hear the spell being cast. All he knew was that he had turned around and had about three seconds to realize that a bright purple light was headed straight for his chest. There was no time to move, or even put up a shield. The curse hit him directly over his heart. Remus fully expected to feel pain or drop to the ground unconscious. When nothing happened, Remus continued on and engaged another Death Eater in battle. It wasn’t until after the battle that he learned what the curse was and what effect it was having on him.
Remus stepped out of the fireplace and into the living room of his and Sirius’ flat. He looked around. Everything was the same as it had been when he and Sirius left the night before to answer Minerva’s call to fight at Hogwarts. The light on the table by the couch was still on. His book was lying on the floor where it had fallen when he had stood up abruptly. Sirius’ empty glass was balancing precariously on the edge of the coffee table. Sirius had quickly set it down when they had learned that Harry was at Hogwarts. To be honest, he would have expected it to fall by now.
Remus shook his head. He didn’t have much time left and he didn’t want to spend it standing in the living room. He slowly walked from the room and down the short hallway to their bedroom. He opened the door and smiled as he took in the room.
In here, it was obvious that two people lived together. Sirius’ favorite black jacket was thrown carelessly on the back of the desk chair. He had a few books stacked on his bedside table. There were a few pictures of motorcycles and landscapes taped up on the walls. Most of the pictures were of Remus and Sirius, almost all of them taken before Sirius went to Azkaban. James and Lily starred in a few as did baby Harry. There were only about a dozen pictures of the two of them that were taken after Sirius escaped from Azkaban and they got back together. Sirius had waited two years and until he looked more like his old self before he allowed any pictures of himself to be taken. There was one of a fifteen year old Harry standing next to his godfather. Both of them were smiling. Another picture right next to it featured Harry standing between Remus and Sirius. Directly across from the bed was a large moving picture of Remus and Sirius. It had been taken just before graduation.
Remus smiled at the Sirius in the picture before crossing the room to the bed. He leaned down, untied his shoes and slipped them off. Having done that, Remus leaned back on the bed, head resting on his pillow. His eyes had just closed when a soft knock came at the door. He opened his eyes and frowned. Had someone followed him here? When he didn’t hear it again, Remus chalked it up to hearing things.
To his surprise, the knock came again, this time a voice called out “Remus?”
Remus closed his eyes. He knew that voice. Sirius. He should have guessed that the man would follow him here if he knew that Remus was here alone.
Sirius had apparently decided to take the silence as an invitation and slowly opened the door.
“Remus?” He called quietly. He slowly stuck his head around the door and peered into the room. Finding Remus lying in the bed, he quietly stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. Sirius crossed the room on quiet feet. Looking down at his lover, he noticed that Remus was awake.
“Remus? What’s wrong?” He asked.
“Go away Sirius.” Remus replied without opening his eyes.
Sirius seated himself on the edge of the bed. “Why?”
“I want to be left alone.”
Sirius could hear something in Remus’ voice. It was something he had only heard a few times before. He couldn’t quite place it though.
“If you want me to leave Remus, then you have to tell me what’s wrong.
It appeared Remus had decided that silence was his best option and so didn’t say anything. Sirius sat for a few minutes, hoping that Remus would tell him what was wrong. When he didn’t, Sirius moved so that he was sitting right next to Remus in the middle of the bed. He reached out a hand, grasping Remus’ closest one tightly.
“Remus, open your eyes.” He commanded softly.
Remus shuddered a bit. He had never been able to deny Sirius anything. And if he was honest with himself, he wanted to see Sirius one last time before he died. Remus opened his eyes, finding Sirius grey ones staring straight into his.
Seeing that Remus eyes were open Sirius proceeded to get him to talk. “Remus, tell me what’s wrong.”
Damn Sirius and his persistence. He knew that Remus wasn’t able to deny him. How could he when he was faced with those pleading silver eyes.
Resolve shattering, Remus answered, his eyes never leaving Sirius’. “I’m dying Sirius.”
Sirius was stupefied. “Wh-what?”
“I’m dying.” Remus repeated.
“How?”
“I was hit with a curse during the battle. When it didn’t do anything, I didn’t think it was a problem. I went to see Madame Pomfrey after the battle and she told me that it had been slowly killing me throughout the battle.”
Now Sirius knew what that faintly familiar emotion he had heard in Remus’ voice was. It was fear. Remus was afraid of dying. Well, that was normal. Any sane person would be afraid of dying. And Remus had always been the sanest of the four of them.
“How long do you have?”
“An hour.”
Sirius’ heart clenched. An hour. He only had an hour left with the man he loved. Sirius immediately resolved that he would remain with Remus the entire time. He would make sure Remus’ last hour was a happy one.
Remus saw the resolve in his eyes and immediately set about trying to dissuade him.
“No Sirius. I don’t want anyone here. I don’t want to see the pitying looks. I would rather die alone.”
“I won’t be giving you any pitying looks.”
Remus looked at his love skeptically. “Promise.”
“Promise.” Sirius said.
Knowing that Sirius meant it, Remus relaxed and a smile began playing around the edges of his lips. Taking that as an encouraging side, Sirius shifted so that he was leaning against the headboard and drew Remus up so that his head was resting in Sirius’ lap. Sirius’ hand went to Remus’ hair and absently fiddled with a few of the strands.
“You remember when we first met?” Sirius asked.
Remus smiled faintly. “Of course. How could I forget? I was sitting in a compartment on the train. It was empty except for me and Peter, who looked so frightened that I expected he wouldn’t say a word. Just as the train left the station, I heard this horrible racket. Imagine my surprise when the racket grows louder and I see that two black haired boys are causing it. It was an even bigger surprise when they opened the door to the compartment. They entered, sat down, one next to me and the other next to Peter. The one next to Peter was wearing glasses and promptly introduced himself as James Potter. Then the other one introduced himself as Sirius Black. I managed to shake your hands and Peter did as well, though the poor boy looked like he was close to passing out.”
Sirius smiled. “And then that night, after the feast, we all met up in the dorm. You and Peter looked at me and James as if you expected us to promptly try and blow up the dorm. I’ll never forget the look on your face when James announced that we were going to be best friends.”
There was silence for a moment before Remus spoke. “I’ll never forget the night the three of you cornered me and told me that you knew my secret.”
Sirius laughed. “You looked like you wanted to simultaneously burst into tears and run away. As I recall, you did both. Well, you tried to run away. James stopped you before you had taken more than two steps and told you that we didn’t care. It took forever to convince you that we didn’t hate you and we weren’t disgusted by you.”
“You should have been.” Remus mumbled.
A slight frown crossed Sirius’ face but was gone quickly. “No, we shouldn’t have.
“Remember the prank we pulled in fourth year on McGonagall and Snape?”
Remus laughed. “That was hilarious. It was the first and only time we ever saw Minerva that angry. I honestly thought that fire was going to come spewing out of her mouth and incinerate us. We were lucky to make it out of there alive.”
“Yes, but it was worth it to hear Snape going around for a week cursing out everyone who so much as said a word to him. That was a brilliant hex you found. To be honest, it was after we pulled that prank that I realized that I fancied you.”
“I realized it in second year but spent most of my time trying to deny it. It wasn’t until you cornered me in our empty dorm and told me that you fancied me that I stopped denying it.”
Sirius looked sheepish. “Ah, well, I didn’t actually corner you.”
“What?”
“James and Peter tricked us into being alone together. Peter was supposed to leave you up there under the pretense of going to get food while James sent me up there to get something or other. It wasn’t until I heard a faint click that I realized we were locked in. I had told James of my feelings for you a week earlier and he decided to take matters into his own hands and lock us in the dorm together. You were still in the showers when I tried every spell I could to get the door open but nothing worked. James told me through the closed door that I wasn’t allowed out until I told you. I spent fifteen minutes working up the courage to do so.”
“That explains a lot.” Remus trailed off with a faint smile on his face. He was grateful to his friend for locking the two of them together in their dorm. Otherwise he and Sirius may never have gotten together.
“My favorite memory is the night you three revealed that you were Animaguses. Once I got over the shock that is.”
Sirius chuckled. “I thought you were going to pass out from the shock. It seemed like forever before you breathed. If the transformation hadn’t started right then, I’m convinced that you would have immediately started berating us.”
“I would have.”
A low cry escaped Remus’ mouth and Sirius looked down to see that his lover’s face was twisted in pain, hands pressing hard against his chest.
“Moony, are you okay?”
Stupid question, he knew. How could Remus be okay when he was dying?
Remus shook his head. “My chest hurts.” He whispered. “Madame Pomfrey warned me that this would happen. She said that the curse would eventually make its way to my chest and my heart. She said that it would hurt. It won’t be long now.”
Sirius looked at the clock on the bedside table and was shocked to notice that half an hour had already elapsed. He didn’t have much time with Remus left. He decided not to tell Remus that a half hour had already passed. He didn’t want to worry the man. Looking around for a distraction, his gaze fell on the large picture of the two of them.
“Remember when that was taken?” He asked, indicating the picture.
Remus opened his eyes and looked at the picture. “Yes, it was Lily’s idea. She insisted on getting a picture of the two of us. She forced us to pose under the tree that we always claimed when we were outside. Then she made us take one of her and James. It wasn’t until after graduation that she revealed why.”
“It was a nice present though. Now we could always remember one last happy moment when we were still students unaffected by the war. It’s too bad that the one of her and James was destroyed. It would have made a good present for Harry.”
“Everything was destroyed that night. Two innocent lives, a young family, our friendship with each other, though that had been destroyed when Peter turned traitor, not that we knew it at the time. Our relationship was destroyed.” Remus whispered.
Sirius frowned. He didn’t want to discuss sad things when Remus was dying. He didn’t need them taking up residence in his thoughts as well.
“Not completely destroyed. We never stopped loving each other throughout all those years. And when I escaped and we were reunited, we were able to pick up the pieces and slowly rebuild it.”
“At least it wasn’t long before you were found innocent. The Ministry captured Pettigrew and the truth quickly came out. Then we were able to truly be together.”
Remus sucked in a harsh breath, face once more tightening with pain. Sirius looked at the clock and saw that they only had ten minutes left. He gently lifted Remus’ head from his lap and settled him against the pillow. The hand that had been stroking Remus’ hair drifted down and gently brushed against his cheek. The soothing touch seemed to take away some of the pain and soon Remus face relaxed.
“It’s getting worse.” He panted, sucking oxygen in desperately.
“You’ll be alright Remus. I promise.” Sirius whispered.
“I’m actually jealous.”
Remus opened his eyes, confusion clearly present in the forest green orbs.
“You get to see James and Lily before I do. You’ll get to run around and cause mischief with James while I’m down here.”
Remus laughed but the sound was painful. It was nothing like his usual laugh or the carefree one that only came out around Sirius.
“I’m sure Lily won’t let us get into too much trouble. She’s had sixteen years to learn how to keep James from going too far and you know me, never one to start something without the rest of you.”
Time was almost up. Remus only had a few minutes left and it looked like those few minutes were going to be painful.
On an impulse, Sirius leaned down and pressed a kiss to Remus lips. He hoped that the kiss conveyed everything he couldn’t say. How much he loved him and how much he was going to miss him when he was gone.
Remus possessed just enough strength and will to kiss Sirius back briefly. The kiss carried an unspoken message as well. Remus was telling him that he loved him more than anything.
“You’ll be alright Siri.” Remus breathed when Sirius broke the kiss. “You’re strong. You’ll go on and look after Harry. And when you’re old and grey and surrounded by Harry’s grandkids, then you’ll join me, James and Lily in heaven.”
Tears threatened at the corner of Sirius’ eyes and he hastily swiped at them. He wasn’t going to cry. Not now. He needed to be strong for Remus who was being so strong through all of this pain.
Remus screamed, a long drawn out scream that conveyed every last bit of the pain he was feeling. It was worse than the screams caused by his transformations. His hands scrabbled at the bed, desperately searching for something. Sirius grabbed both of his hands and squeezed them gently, letting Remus know that he was there. The scream lasted for a few minutes, never dropping in volume or strength. Sirius heart broke to hear the tortured sound. He wanted desperately to take the pain from Remus and into himself. He didn’t want his love to have to suffer any more than he already did.
Eventually the scream died away and Remus was left panting on the bed. His breaths were coming slower now. Each one was a struggle to inhale. Sirius knew without looking at the clock that the only had seconds left.
Remus eyes opened and flicked aimlessly around the room before slowly locking on to Sirius. Sirius’ breath caught in his chest at the look in Remus’ eyes. They were startlingly clear and for the first time, Sirius couldn’t find a trace of the fear that was always present in Remus’ eyes. For once, Remus was truly at peace.
Remus held his gaze for one long moment before a smile filled his face. His eyes drifted closed and his breaths were shorter and faster now.
It didn’t take long. Mere seconds after Remus’ eyes had closed his drew in one long deep breath and held it for what seemed like an impossibly long time. Sirius took that brief moment to lean close and whisper “I love you Remus.” As soon as he had done so, Remus slowly let the breath out and then was still.
Sirius’ hands began to shake as he pressed one last kiss to the still warm lips before sitting back up. Looking down at Remus, it looked like he was sleeping and would wake up any moment now. The smile was still on Remus’ face, frozen there for all of eternity. It was that smile that broke Sirius. He dropped Remus’ hands which he hadn’t let go of this entire time as he began to cry.
Heartbreaking sobs wrenched themselves from Sirius who made no attempt to stop them. He pressed his hands against his face and sobbed as he thought of the things he would never have again. He would never hear Remus’ whispered good morning when he woke up; never feel his arms around him when he had a flashback of Azkaban. He would never see that soft smile on Remus’ face when he looked at him; never hear Remus tell him that he loved him every night before the fell asleep. But what broke Sirius most of all was knowing that he would never have Remus again.
An: This was the first story I ever published. If there is anyone out there reading this, I would love to hear from you. It always makes my day to hear what readers think. Constructive criticism is appreciated. Flames will be laughed at and used to make s’mores. There are two epilogues coming but I need to go back and edit them.
Warnings: Character Death
Rating: T
Sirius was dying and he knew it. He didn’t mind either. He had lived seventy-two years and gotten to see Harry’s kids and first grandson. He just wished that Remus had been here with him.
It had been thirty-four years since Remus had died and they hadn’t been easy. If it hadn’t been for Harry, Sirius didn’t know how he would have made it through the years. The two of them had gotten to know each other. Harry caught Sirius up on his life and Sirius told him all about his parents and the things the Marauders did at school. Thanks to Harry, he had been able to fulfill Remus’ last wish for him. He had lived to be old and grey and would die surrounded by Harry’s family.
They were all here now. Harry and his wife Ginny, both of them looking great for their fifties. His oldest son James was standing nearby with his red-headed wife Allison. James was holding their son Remus Arthur. Allison was pregnant with their second child, a girl they were naming Violet Mae. Albus hadn’t married. He was too busy with his work down at the hospital to settle down. Lily had just gotten engaged to young Lorcan Scamander.
Yes, he had definitely fulfilled Remus’ last wish. Now he could join Remus in heaven. It was only a matter of time now. Sirius could feel his heartbeat slowing with each passing beat.
“Uncle Sirius?”
Sirius opened his eyes to see who had spoken. He saw James standing by his side with young Remus in his arms.
“Remus wants to say goodbye.”
Sirius nodded. James gently set the boy down on the bed by his arm where Sirius could see him.
“Hey kiddo. Heard you came to say goodbye.”
Remus nodded his eyes wide. “Where you going?” he asked.
“I’m going to go see Uncle Moony.”
“You come back?”
“No. I’m going to stay with him. And Grandpa James and Grandma Lily.”
Little Remus appeared to be thinking this over. Finally he nodded.
“Okay.” His eyes lit up. “Da, presents.” He commanded.
James suppressed a smile as he came forward with a small bag which he set next to his son. The bag wasn’t big enough to hold a lot of things. Maybe one or two. Remus reached in to the bag and pulled out a large brown wolf which looked like the one Sirius had gotten him when he was a baby. He placed it in the crook of Sirius’ left arm.
“Moony gift.”
Then he pulled out a large black dog that again looked like the one Sirius had gotten him. What was the kid doing? Was he giving Sirius the toys he had given him a few years ago?
“Paddy gift.”
Usually Sirius was good at figuring out what the boy meant but this time he had no clue. He looked to James for an explanation.
“They’re gifts for you and Uncle Moony to remember him by. He wants you to take them with you and give Moony the wolf.” James explained.
“Ah.”
Sirius looked back at Remus and swallowed hard before speaking. It was getting difficult.
“Thank you Remus. I know Uncle Moony will love the gift. As will I.”
Remus nodded and reached out to pat Sirius on the head the same way Sirius used to do to him whenever he left.
“Bye Uncle Paddy. You be good boy for Uncle Moony.”
Sirius body shook for a few moments with painful laughter. James was chuckling as he picked his son up. The chuckles died as he looked down at his uncle and noticed how slow his breathing was.
“Mum. Dad.” He said quietly.
Harry and Ginny were by their oldest’s side in a few seconds. Albus was close behind them. He took one look at his uncle and knew.
“It’s almost time.” His voice was no louder than his brother’s.
Harry leaned down so he could be sure Sirius heard him.
“Say hello to Remus for me. And my parents.”
Sirius faintly heard Harry ask him to say hello to his parents and Remus. Then he could no longer see, hear, or feel anything. There was only total darkness. After what seemed like an eternity, Sirius found himself outside in the bright sunshine. That was odd. He could have sworn that he was in his bed and it was nighttime.
He looked around. There was nothing to give him any indication as to where he was. The only thing he could see was grass as far as the eye could see. Turning back to the direction Sirius assumed he had been facing when he could see again, Sirius gasped. There, in front of him was a large golden gate. Having nothing better to do, he walked towards it. As he got closer, he saw a figure standing just on the other side of the closed gates. From a distance, the figure looked familiar. Sirius wondered who it was. Then he got close enough to see.
“Remus!” He shouted.
To his complete disbelief, Remus was standing on the other side of the gates. The man looked up at the shout and smiled when he saw Sirius.
Sirius broke into a run. He couldn’t believe that Remus was here, wherever here was. As he approached the gates, they slowly swung inward, making Remus take a few steps back. Sirius barreled right through the opening and nearly plowed Remus over. The werewolf was laughing as he caught Sirius in a hug.
“Remus, I can’t believe you’re here.” Sirius said, he voice muffled by Remus’ clothes.
“Of course I’m here. Where else would I be?”
“I don’t know. I don’t even know where we are.” Sirius said, finally pulling away from Remus so he could see his face.
The werewolf laughed again as he shook his head. “We’re in heaven Sirius.”
“Heaven?”
“How else could we meet? I died years ago Sirius. And you were dying.”
Suddenly Sirius remembered everything. He remembered Remus’ death, every last detail. He remembered the years after, learning how to continue on without Remus. He remembered Harry and Ginny’s wedding and the birth of their children. He remembered the birth of Remus Arthur and then the last few hours of his life.
“What’s that in your hands?” Remus asked, interrupting his memories.
Sirius looked down and saw that he was holding a large black dog in his right hand and a brown wolf in his left. Another memory came forward and he remembered little Remus giving him the toys to take with him to Uncle Moony’s, one of which was for the man.
Smiling, Sirius held out the wolf. Looking confused, Remus took it and examined it.
“What is it?” He asked.
“It’s a gift from Harry and Ginny’s grandson.”
“Harry and Ginny have a grandson?”
“Yeah, he’s three years old.”
Remus shook his head. “Wow, time flies. Last I knew their oldest son and his wife were expecting their first child. What’s his name?”
Sirius smiled. “Well, he was named after two people. One of them was an uncle who died before his grandparents were married. The other was his great-grandfather, his grandma’s dad.”
Remus had frozen when Sirius mentioned the uncle. He couldn’t believe it.
“His name is Remus Arthur Potter.”
It was several long minutes before Remus unfroze and managed to speak.
“They named him after me?”
Sirius nodded. “And as far as I can tell, he was appropriately named. He’s very smart for a three year old and loves to read and hear stories, much like his uncle. He also has a fascination with muggle objects such as cars just like his great-grandpa.”
“So what’s with the wolf? The dog I get, but not the wolf.”
Sirius pulled Remus in close. “Remus’ favorite stories were about a group of four boys who called themselves the Marauders. Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. He loved hearing about the things they did in their animal forms. For his second birthday. I got him a stuffed black dog to represent Padfoot and a brown wolf to represent Moony who he knew was a werewolf.”
“You told him that I was a werewolf.”
Sirius nodded. “Yup. And he thought it was wicked cool, just like I did.”
Remus shook his head. “Leave it to you to convince a child that werewolves are cool.”
“Well, I consider myself to be a bit of an expert. I did share a dorm with one for seven years and got to know him so well that I fell in love with him. I also spent one night a month running around with him on the night of the full moon. I got lucky enough to have him fall in love with me as well and spent a total of six years living with him.”
Sirius pulled Remus into a heart stopping kiss. The kiss conveyed exactly how much Sirius had missed him and reassured Remus that Sirius had never stopped loving him. Remus didn’t hesitate as he returned the kiss. For what seemed like an eternity, the two men stood locked in a passionate kiss. Eventually they broke apart, staring at each other with the slightly dazed, serene expression that they wore whenever they kissed.
Remus was the first to snap out of it. Grinning, he grabbed Sirius’ wrist and dragged him forward.
“Come on Sirius. There’s so much I want to show you. And there are a few people who want to meet you as well.”
Sirius had to jog to keep up with the werewolf. As they got further from the gates, he could see more and more of heaven. He sucked in his breath. The place was beautiful. It looked a lot like London and eventually Remus came to a stop outside of a house. Sirius recognized it. It was an exact replica of their house on earth. He turned to Remus with a look of wonder.
Remus simply grinned again. “I know.”
The he pointed over Sirius’ shoulder. “There are the people I mentioned. They’ve been waiting for a long time, longer than I have.”
Sirius spun around and saw two people he never expected to see.
“Prongs!” He shouted.
“Padfoot.” The other man shouted back.
AN: When I first wrote this story, I was asked to do both epilogues and so I did. I will warn you, the first half of that chapter will be identical to the first half of this chapter. Otherwise it’ll be different. I would love a comment from whoever is reading this. Especially since I have a couple of long days coming up.
Warnings: Character Death
Rating: T
Sirius was dying and he knew it. He didn’t mind either. He had lived seventy-two years and gotten to see Harry’s kids and first grandson. He just wished that Remus had been here with him.
It had been thirty-four years since Remus had died and they hadn’t been easy. If it hadn’t been for Harry, Sirius didn’t know how he would have made it through the years. The two of them had gotten to know each other. Harry caught Sirius up on his life and Sirius told him all about his parents and the things the Marauders did at school. Thanks to Harry, he had been able to fulfill Remus’ last wish for him. He had lived to be old and grey and would die surrounded by Harry’s family.
They were all here now. Harry and his wife Ginny, both of them looking great for their fifties. His oldest son James was standing nearby with his red-headed wife Allison. James was holding their son Remus Arthur. Allison was pregnant with their second child, a girl they were naming Violet Mae. Albus hadn’t married. He was too busy with his work down at the hospital to settle down. Lily had just gotten engaged to young Lorcan Scamander.
Yes, he had definitely fulfilled Remus’ last wish. Now he could join Remus in heaven. It was only a matter of time now. Sirius could feel his heartbeat slowing with each passing beat.
“Uncle Sirius?”
Sirius opened his eyes to see who had spoken. He saw James standing by his side with young Remus in his arms.
“Remus wants to say goodbye.”
Sirius nodded. James gently set the boy down on the bed by his arm where Sirius could see him.
“Hey kiddo. Heard you came to say goodbye.”
Remus nodded his eyes wide. “Where you going?” he asked.
“I’m going to go see Uncle Moony.”
“You come back?”
“No. I’m going to stay with him. And Grandpa James and Grandma Lily.”
Little Remus appeared to be thinking this over. Finally he nodded.
“Okay.” His eyes lit up. “Da, presents.” He commanded.
James suppressed a smile as he came forward with a small bag which he set next to his son. The bag wasn’t big enough to hold a lot of things. Maybe one or two. Remus reached in to the bag and pulled out a large brown wolf which looked like the one Sirius had gotten him when he was a baby. He placed it in the crook of Sirius’ left arm.
“Moony gift.”
Then he pulled out a large black dog that again looked like the one Sirius had gotten him. What was the kid doing? Was he giving Sirius the toys he had given him a few years ago?
“Paddy gift.”
Usually Sirius was good at figuring out what the boy meant but this time he had no clue. He looked to James for an explanation.
“They’re gifts for you and Uncle Moony to remember him by. He wants you to take them with you and give Moony the wolf.” James explained.
“Ah.”
Sirius looked back at Remus and swallowed hard before speaking. It was getting difficult.
“Thank you Remus. I know Uncle Moony will love the gift. As will I.”
Remus nodded and reached out to pat Sirius on the head the same way Sirius used to do to him whenever he left.
“Bye Uncle Paddy. You be good boy for Uncle Moony.”
Sirius body shook for a few moments with painful laughter. James was chuckling as he picked his son up. The chuckles died as he looked down at his uncle and noticed how slow his breathing was.
“Mum. Dad.” He said quietly.
Harry and Ginny were by their oldest’s side in a few seconds. Albus was close behind them. He took one look at his uncle and knew.
“It’s almost time.” His voice was no louder than his brother’s.
Harry leaned down so he could be sure Sirius heard him.
“Say hello to Remus for me. And my parents.”
Sirius faintly heard Harry ask him to say hello to his parents and Remus. There was a much louder voice calling his name.
“Sirius. Sirius, wake up.”
Sirius tried to obey the voice. He tried to open his eyes but they wouldn’t obey him. They stubbornly remained closed.
“Come on Padfoot open your eyes. It’s time to get up.”
That sentence brought back a flash of a memory.
It was his fifth year and Sirius had gotten to bed late. He and Remus had stayed up the night before talking, mostly about their childhoods to Sirius’ annoyance. Now someone was insisting that he get up when his body just wanted more sleep.
“Siri, if you don’t get up right now, I won’t let you kiss me for the next week.” The voice threatened.
That had gotten Sirius’ attention. He knew who was talking to him now. Remus Lupin, his boyfriend. Kissing Remus was one of Sirius’ favorite ways to pass the time and the possibility of losing that for a week was enough to get him out of bed.
Sirius sat up in his bed, rubbing his eyes as he yawned.
“Alright, alright. I’m up. What is it Rem?”
Remus stood by the bed, still dressed in his pajama shirt and sweat pants. He was smiling as he looked down at Sirius.
“You promised you would watch the sunrise with me Siri.” The werewolf said.
Right, he had promised Remus that he would. For as long as Sirius had known him, Remus had always been an early riser, stating that he had trouble sleeping. Remus was always up in time to watch the sunrise and had commented more than once on the beauty of it. Curious by nature, Sirius had wondered if it was really as beautiful as Remus made it out to be. However, he had never gotten up for two reasons. One, Sirius was not a morning person. He usually waited until the last possible minute before getting up. And two, Sirius found that he didn’t want to intrude on Remus’ personal time. Now that the two were dating though, Sirius had the opportunity to find out.
With that thought in mind, Sirius had climbed out of bed and followed his boyfriend to the window seat. They sat in silence for a few minutes as they waited for the sun to start rising. When it did, Sirius felt his breath catch in his throat. Now he could see why Remus loved to watch the sunrise. It was beautiful.
Once the sun was fully above the horizon, Remus turned to Sirius with a smile on his face. “Well?” He asked.
“That was beautiful Rem. Now I see why you love it so much.” Sirius said honestly.
The smile that lit up Remus’ face was the one Sirius loved to see. The young werewolf leaned in and Sirius met him halfway.
The entire memory flashed through Sirius’ mind in the space of a few seconds. The voice was still there, calling to him.
“Come on Padfoot, open your eyes.”
Summoning the strength and will from somewhere in his mind, Sirius slowly opened one eye, then the other. What he saw made him close them quickly before opening them again. He was hallucinating. He had to be. How else would he be able to see Remus standing over him with a smile on his face?
“Remus?” Sirius asked, his voice coming out stronger than it had in the last few years.
Remus’ smile grew. “Yes Sirius. Come on, it’s time to get up.”
Feeling his strength return, Sirius sat up and looked around confusedly. He appeared to still be in his room. The only difference was that Harry and his family was gone and Remus was here. Was this a dream?
“I’m dreaming.” Sirius muttered to himself.
Remus shook his head. “You’re not dreaming Siri.”
“There’s no other explanation.” Sirius shot back.
Remus reached out a hand and lightly rapped Sirius on the head. “Think Sirius. What happened to me?”
Sirius frowned as he tried to recall. There was a ghost of a memory floating around in his head. Something had happened to Remus. But what was it?
Sirius gasped as the memory hit him like lightning.
“You died. You were hit with a curse during the battle of Hogwarts and died about an hour after it was all over.”
Remus smiled. “Yes. I died. Do you remember how many years it’s been since then?”
“Thirty-four.” Sirius said confidently.
“Yup. What’s the last thing you remember?”
“I was dying. Harry and Ginny were there. And their kids. And a little boy. Harry’s grandson. His name was…” Sirius stopped suddenly and looked at Remus mischievously. Remus was looking at him curiously, waiting for him to go on.
“Do you know the name of Harry’s grandson?” Sirius asked.
He was hoping Moony didn’t. Sirius wanted to see the look on his face as he explained it all to him. To his delight, Remus shook his head.
“Nope. I missed the birth. And every time I’ve checked up on them, no one mentions his name. What is his name?”
“Well, you know how Harry started the tradition of naming kids after people who had died.”
Remus nodded. “He named his children after James, Albus, and Lily. Albus is the only one to have been named after two people who had died, though I pity the boy for having to go through life with a name like that.”
Sirius laughed. “Yeah, we gave him a hard time about that one. Anyway, James decided to carry on the tradition with his son. He named him after two people who had died. People who died and meant something to him.”
Sirius could see that he had Remus hanging off his every word. The man never did like not knowing something. Especially about his family. Deciding to put Remus out of his misery, he finally told him.
“James gave his son the middle name Arthur, after his only living grandfather who had taught him so much. His grandfather had died while his wife was pregnant though, and never got to meet his great grandson.
“The baby’s first name however, came from someone else. James named him after his uncle who had died before his parents were married. He had grown up hearing stories about this man who was a Marauder, and decided to name his son after the only other good Marauder who had died. So he gave the boy the first name Remus. The baby’s full name was Remus Arthur Potter.”
Remus appeared to have frozen. He had known exactly who Sirius was talking about when he mentioned the uncle who had died. He knew that Sirius was considered to be an uncle by Harry’s three children. He also knew that whenever his name was mentioned, he was always called Uncle Moony.
It was several long minutes before he got over the shock and unfroze.
“They named the baby after me?” He asked softly.
Sirius nodded. “Yup. I remember the day little Remus was born. James came out of the delivery room holding him in his arms and announced that Remus Arthur Potter was here before handing him to his father. Harry immediately passed the baby to me saying that as I was close to you, I should be the first to meet your namesake.”
Remus was quiet as he took in the information. It touched him that James would have named his first born after him.
“I have to tell you Rem. He was appropriately named.”
“That broke Remus out of his musings. “How so?”
“He is the most curious child I have ever met. He loves learning new things, more so than James or Harry ever did. He also loves to sit down with his books and look through them. For his last birthday, he asked for new books. He’s also extremely smart for a three year old. Ginny says that’s because he reads all the time.
“He’s also extraordinarily curious about Muggle objects. He loves cars, bikes and planes. Basically anything with a motor at the minute. He also has a fascination with rubber ducks.”
Remus was chuckling. “Sounds exactly like Arthur.”
Sirius reached out and pulled Remus into his arms. He buried his face in the other man’s hair for a minute, inhaling that sweet scent of chocolate, books, and something that was undoubtedly Moony. It was a scent that he had missed.
“And you.” He said into the man’s ear.
Remus shuddered a bit and placed his hand on the bed for balance. Or at least, that’s what he meant to do. Instead his hand connected with something soft and fuzzy.
Pulling away from Sirius, he looked at the object under his hand. There was a large brown wolf lying on the bed. Right next to the wolf was a large black dog. Remus frowned. He knew there hadn’t been any animals in the room before and was curious as to how the wolf and dog had gotten here.
“Sirius, where did these stuffed animals come from?”
Sirius looked down at the animals in surprise. He had forgotten about the gifts little Remus had given him just before he died. Looking back up at Remus he smiled.
“They’re gifts. Little Remus gave them to me before I died and insisted that I was to bring them to Uncle Moony’s with me.”
“Okay. But what’s with the wolf.”
“Like I said, James grew up hearing stories about the Marauders. Those stories also included their illegal animagus forms and the fact that one of them was a werewolf. When Remus grew a bit older, James started telling him the same bedtime stories. Harry and I both helped of course. Little Remus knew that one of the Marauders, Uncle Moony, had the animal form of a large brown wolf.”
“You told him that I was a werewolf?” Remus asked shocked.
Sirius shook his head. “Not yet. He’s only three. He doesn’t understand about werewolves yet. James and Harry were going to wait until he was older before they explained everything to him. The boy just thinks that the wolf was your animal form, like how mine was a black dog.”
Remus was relieved. He had been three when he was bitten and knew that werewolves were something that no three year old should know about. That was something the boy could wait to learn about.
Sirius picked up the wolf and handed it to Remus. “Here, this one’s for you.”
Remus took the wolf and looked at it. Surprisingly, it looked exactly like he had. Same brown fur and amber eyes. The only thing missing was the scars covering the body.
While Remus was distracted, Sirius took the opportunity to pull Remus back into his arms and press a light kiss on his cheek. Gods, how he had missed this. It was the little things like having Remus in his arms that Sirius had missed the most.
Before he could take it any further, a loud chime sounded throughout the house. Remus’ eyes lit up.
“They’re here.” He said.
“Tell them to go away.” Sirius grumbled, burying his face in Remus’ hair.
“They’ve wait a long time to see you Sirius.”
“I don’t care. I missed you and I’m not letting you go.” Sirius voice was full of promise.
Remus wiggled out of his embrace and stood up. “Later Sirius. We have all of eternity for that.” He promised. “In the meantime, come on. You’ll want to see them.”
Sirius sighed. It didn’t seem like he was going to get started on making up the thirty-four years he and Remus had lost so he supposed he might as well meet Remus’ friends.
He got up and followed Remus to the living room. The werewolf stepped to the side and gestured for Sirius to open the door. Confused, the animagus stepped forward and pulled the door open.
“Hel…” The greeting died in Sirius’ throat. Standing there on the other side of the door were James and Lily, both of them wearing face splitting grins.
“Padfoot.” James said, pulling Sirius into a hug.
Sirius hugged him back and then turned to Lily. When he let her go, James beckoned him outside.
“Come on Sirius. We have a lot of pranks to make up for.”
An: This is the end of Goodbye. I would love to hear what you think of this. Constructive criticism is appreciated. Flames will be laughed at and used to heat up my potions cauldron.
Warnings: Mild swearing. Character Death. You have been warned.
Rating: T for mild swearing
Full Summary- During the battle of Hogwarts, Remus is hit with a curse. After the battle, he goes to Madame Pomfrey to find out what the curse was. She examines him and tells him that the curse is fatal and gives him an hour to live. Remus decides that he would rather die alone at home than in the hospital wing surrounded by people who would pity him. Madame Pomfrey wants him to stay but relents and lets him leave. Remus asks her to tell the others that he wants to be alone and not to tell them what’s really going on until the hour is up. Sirius learns where Remus has gone and disregards his wish to be alone. Shortly after arriving home, he learns why his love returned home alone. Sirius resolves not to leave Remus alone and makes his last hour happy.
OoO
Remus never saw it coming. He didn’t even hear the spell being cast. All he knew was that he had turned around and had about three seconds to realize that a bright purple light was headed straight for his chest. There was no time to move, or even put up a shield. The curse hit him directly over his heart. Remus fully expected to feel pain or drop to the ground unconscious. When nothing happened, Remus continued on and engaged another Death Eater in battle. It wasn’t until after the battle that he learned what the curse was and what effect it was having on him.
Remus stepped out of the fireplace and into the living room of his and Sirius’ flat. He looked around. Everything was the same as it had been when he and Sirius left the night before to answer Minerva’s call to fight at Hogwarts. The light on the table by the couch was still on. His book was lying on the floor where it had fallen when he had stood up abruptly. Sirius’ empty glass was balancing precariously on the edge of the coffee table. Sirius had quickly set it down when they had learned that Harry was at Hogwarts. To be honest, he would have expected it to fall by now.
Remus shook his head. He didn’t have much time left and he didn’t want to spend it standing in the living room. He slowly walked from the room and down the short hallway to their bedroom. He opened the door and smiled as he took in the room.
In here, it was obvious that two people lived together. Sirius’ favorite black jacket was thrown carelessly on the back of the desk chair. He had a few books stacked on his bedside table. There were a few pictures of motorcycles and landscapes taped up on the walls. Most of the pictures were of Remus and Sirius, almost all of them taken before Sirius went to Azkaban. James and Lily starred in a few as did baby Harry. There were only about a dozen pictures of the two of them that were taken after Sirius escaped from Azkaban and they got back together. Sirius had waited two years and until he looked more like his old self before he allowed any pictures of himself to be taken. There was one of a fifteen year old Harry standing next to his godfather. Both of them were smiling. Another picture right next to it featured Harry standing between Remus and Sirius. Directly across from the bed was a large moving picture of Remus and Sirius. It had been taken just before graduation.
Remus smiled at the Sirius in the picture before crossing the room to the bed. He leaned down, untied his shoes and slipped them off. Having done that, Remus leaned back on the bed, head resting on his pillow. His eyes had just closed when a soft knock came at the door. He opened his eyes and frowned. Had someone followed him here? When he didn’t hear it again, Remus chalked it up to hearing things.
To his surprise, the knock came again, this time a voice called out “Remus?”
Remus closed his eyes. He knew that voice. Sirius. He should have guessed that the man would follow him here if he knew that Remus was here alone.
Sirius had apparently decided to take the silence as an invitation and slowly opened the door.
“Remus?” He called quietly. He slowly stuck his head around the door and peered into the room. Finding Remus lying in the bed, he quietly stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. Sirius crossed the room on quiet feet. Looking down at his lover, he noticed that Remus was awake.
“Remus? What’s wrong?” He asked.
“Go away Sirius.” Remus replied without opening his eyes.
Sirius seated himself on the edge of the bed. “Why?”
“I want to be left alone.”
Sirius could hear something in Remus’ voice. It was something he had only heard a few times before. He couldn’t quite place it though.
“If you want me to leave Remus, then you have to tell me what’s wrong.
It appeared Remus had decided that silence was his best option and so didn’t say anything. Sirius sat for a few minutes, hoping that Remus would tell him what was wrong. When he didn’t, Sirius moved so that he was sitting right next to Remus in the middle of the bed. He reached out a hand, grasping Remus’ closest one tightly.
“Remus, open your eyes.” He commanded softly.
Remus shuddered a bit. He had never been able to deny Sirius anything. And if he was honest with himself, he wanted to see Sirius one last time before he died. Remus opened his eyes, finding Sirius grey ones staring straight into his.
Seeing that Remus eyes were open Sirius proceeded to get him to talk. “Remus, tell me what’s wrong.”
Damn Sirius and his persistence. He knew that Remus wasn’t able to deny him. How could he when he was faced with those pleading silver eyes.
Resolve shattering, Remus answered, his eyes never leaving Sirius’. “I’m dying Sirius.”
Sirius was stupefied. “Wh-what?”
“I’m dying.” Remus repeated.
“How?”
“I was hit with a curse during the battle. When it didn’t do anything, I didn’t think it was a problem. I went to see Madame Pomfrey after the battle and she told me that it had been slowly killing me throughout the battle.”
Now Sirius knew what that faintly familiar emotion he had heard in Remus’ voice was. It was fear. Remus was afraid of dying. Well, that was normal. Any sane person would be afraid of dying. And Remus had always been the sanest of the four of them.
“How long do you have?”
“An hour.”
Sirius’ heart clenched. An hour. He only had an hour left with the man he loved. Sirius immediately resolved that he would remain with Remus the entire time. He would make sure Remus’ last hour was a happy one.
Remus saw the resolve in his eyes and immediately set about trying to dissuade him.
“No Sirius. I don’t want anyone here. I don’t want to see the pitying looks. I would rather die alone.”
“I won’t be giving you any pitying looks.”
Remus looked at his love skeptically. “Promise.”
“Promise.” Sirius said.
Knowing that Sirius meant it, Remus relaxed and a smile began playing around the edges of his lips. Taking that as an encouraging side, Sirius shifted so that he was leaning against the headboard and drew Remus up so that his head was resting in Sirius’ lap. Sirius’ hand went to Remus’ hair and absently fiddled with a few of the strands.
“You remember when we first met?” Sirius asked.
Remus smiled faintly. “Of course. How could I forget? I was sitting in a compartment on the train. It was empty except for me and Peter, who looked so frightened that I expected he wouldn’t say a word. Just as the train left the station, I heard this horrible racket. Imagine my surprise when the racket grows louder and I see that two black haired boys are causing it. It was an even bigger surprise when they opened the door to the compartment. They entered, sat down, one next to me and the other next to Peter. The one next to Peter was wearing glasses and promptly introduced himself as James Potter. Then the other one introduced himself as Sirius Black. I managed to shake your hands and Peter did as well, though the poor boy looked like he was close to passing out.”
Sirius smiled. “And then that night, after the feast, we all met up in the dorm. You and Peter looked at me and James as if you expected us to promptly try and blow up the dorm. I’ll never forget the look on your face when James announced that we were going to be best friends.”
There was silence for a moment before Remus spoke. “I’ll never forget the night the three of you cornered me and told me that you knew my secret.”
Sirius laughed. “You looked like you wanted to simultaneously burst into tears and run away. As I recall, you did both. Well, you tried to run away. James stopped you before you had taken more than two steps and told you that we didn’t care. It took forever to convince you that we didn’t hate you and we weren’t disgusted by you.”
“You should have been.” Remus mumbled.
A slight frown crossed Sirius’ face but was gone quickly. “No, we shouldn’t have.
“Remember the prank we pulled in fourth year on McGonagall and Snape?”
Remus laughed. “That was hilarious. It was the first and only time we ever saw Minerva that angry. I honestly thought that fire was going to come spewing out of her mouth and incinerate us. We were lucky to make it out of there alive.”
“Yes, but it was worth it to hear Snape going around for a week cursing out everyone who so much as said a word to him. That was a brilliant hex you found. To be honest, it was after we pulled that prank that I realized that I fancied you.”
“I realized it in second year but spent most of my time trying to deny it. It wasn’t until you cornered me in our empty dorm and told me that you fancied me that I stopped denying it.”
Sirius looked sheepish. “Ah, well, I didn’t actually corner you.”
“What?”
“James and Peter tricked us into being alone together. Peter was supposed to leave you up there under the pretense of going to get food while James sent me up there to get something or other. It wasn’t until I heard a faint click that I realized we were locked in. I had told James of my feelings for you a week earlier and he decided to take matters into his own hands and lock us in the dorm together. You were still in the showers when I tried every spell I could to get the door open but nothing worked. James told me through the closed door that I wasn’t allowed out until I told you. I spent fifteen minutes working up the courage to do so.”
“That explains a lot.” Remus trailed off with a faint smile on his face. He was grateful to his friend for locking the two of them together in their dorm. Otherwise he and Sirius may never have gotten together.
“My favorite memory is the night you three revealed that you were Animaguses. Once I got over the shock that is.”
Sirius chuckled. “I thought you were going to pass out from the shock. It seemed like forever before you breathed. If the transformation hadn’t started right then, I’m convinced that you would have immediately started berating us.”
“I would have.”
A low cry escaped Remus’ mouth and Sirius looked down to see that his lover’s face was twisted in pain, hands pressing hard against his chest.
“Moony, are you okay?”
Stupid question, he knew. How could Remus be okay when he was dying?
Remus shook his head. “My chest hurts.” He whispered. “Madame Pomfrey warned me that this would happen. She said that the curse would eventually make its way to my chest and my heart. She said that it would hurt. It won’t be long now.”
Sirius looked at the clock on the bedside table and was shocked to notice that half an hour had already elapsed. He didn’t have much time with Remus left. He decided not to tell Remus that a half hour had already passed. He didn’t want to worry the man. Looking around for a distraction, his gaze fell on the large picture of the two of them.
“Remember when that was taken?” He asked, indicating the picture.
Remus opened his eyes and looked at the picture. “Yes, it was Lily’s idea. She insisted on getting a picture of the two of us. She forced us to pose under the tree that we always claimed when we were outside. Then she made us take one of her and James. It wasn’t until after graduation that she revealed why.”
“It was a nice present though. Now we could always remember one last happy moment when we were still students unaffected by the war. It’s too bad that the one of her and James was destroyed. It would have made a good present for Harry.”
“Everything was destroyed that night. Two innocent lives, a young family, our friendship with each other, though that had been destroyed when Peter turned traitor, not that we knew it at the time. Our relationship was destroyed.” Remus whispered.
Sirius frowned. He didn’t want to discuss sad things when Remus was dying. He didn’t need them taking up residence in his thoughts as well.
“Not completely destroyed. We never stopped loving each other throughout all those years. And when I escaped and we were reunited, we were able to pick up the pieces and slowly rebuild it.”
“At least it wasn’t long before you were found innocent. The Ministry captured Pettigrew and the truth quickly came out. Then we were able to truly be together.”
Remus sucked in a harsh breath, face once more tightening with pain. Sirius looked at the clock and saw that they only had ten minutes left. He gently lifted Remus’ head from his lap and settled him against the pillow. The hand that had been stroking Remus’ hair drifted down and gently brushed against his cheek. The soothing touch seemed to take away some of the pain and soon Remus face relaxed.
“It’s getting worse.” He panted, sucking oxygen in desperately.
“You’ll be alright Remus. I promise.” Sirius whispered.
“I’m actually jealous.”
Remus opened his eyes, confusion clearly present in the forest green orbs.
“You get to see James and Lily before I do. You’ll get to run around and cause mischief with James while I’m down here.”
Remus laughed but the sound was painful. It was nothing like his usual laugh or the carefree one that only came out around Sirius.
“I’m sure Lily won’t let us get into too much trouble. She’s had sixteen years to learn how to keep James from going too far and you know me, never one to start something without the rest of you.”
Time was almost up. Remus only had a few minutes left and it looked like those few minutes were going to be painful.
On an impulse, Sirius leaned down and pressed a kiss to Remus lips. He hoped that the kiss conveyed everything he couldn’t say. How much he loved him and how much he was going to miss him when he was gone.
Remus possessed just enough strength and will to kiss Sirius back briefly. The kiss carried an unspoken message as well. Remus was telling him that he loved him more than anything.
“You’ll be alright Siri.” Remus breathed when Sirius broke the kiss. “You’re strong. You’ll go on and look after Harry. And when you’re old and grey and surrounded by Harry’s grandkids, then you’ll join me, James and Lily in heaven.”
Tears threatened at the corner of Sirius’ eyes and he hastily swiped at them. He wasn’t going to cry. Not now. He needed to be strong for Remus who was being so strong through all of this pain.
Remus screamed, a long drawn out scream that conveyed every last bit of the pain he was feeling. It was worse than the screams caused by his transformations. His hands scrabbled at the bed, desperately searching for something. Sirius grabbed both of his hands and squeezed them gently, letting Remus know that he was there. The scream lasted for a few minutes, never dropping in volume or strength. Sirius heart broke to hear the tortured sound. He wanted desperately to take the pain from Remus and into himself. He didn’t want his love to have to suffer any more than he already did.
Eventually the scream died away and Remus was left panting on the bed. His breaths were coming slower now. Each one was a struggle to inhale. Sirius knew without looking at the clock that the only had seconds left.
Remus eyes opened and flicked aimlessly around the room before slowly locking on to Sirius. Sirius’ breath caught in his chest at the look in Remus’ eyes. They were startlingly clear and for the first time, Sirius couldn’t find a trace of the fear that was always present in Remus’ eyes. For once, Remus was truly at peace.
Remus held his gaze for one long moment before a smile filled his face. His eyes drifted closed and his breaths were shorter and faster now.
It didn’t take long. Mere seconds after Remus’ eyes had closed his drew in one long deep breath and held it for what seemed like an impossibly long time. Sirius took that brief moment to lean close and whisper “I love you Remus.” As soon as he had done so, Remus slowly let the breath out and then was still.
Sirius’ hands began to shake as he pressed one last kiss to the still warm lips before sitting back up. Looking down at Remus, it looked like he was sleeping and would wake up any moment now. The smile was still on Remus’ face, frozen there for all of eternity. It was that smile that broke Sirius. He dropped Remus’ hands which he hadn’t let go of this entire time as he began to cry.
Heartbreaking sobs wrenched themselves from Sirius who made no attempt to stop them. He pressed his hands against his face and sobbed as he thought of the things he would never have again. He would never hear Remus’ whispered good morning when he woke up; never feel his arms around him when he had a flashback of Azkaban. He would never see that soft smile on Remus’ face when he looked at him; never hear Remus tell him that he loved him every night before the fell asleep. But what broke Sirius most of all was knowing that he would never have Remus again.
An: This was the first story I ever published. If there is anyone out there reading this, I would love to hear from you. It always makes my day to hear what readers think. Constructive criticism is appreciated. Flames will be laughed at and used to make s’mores. There are two epilogues coming but I need to go back and edit them.
Warnings: Character Death
Rating: T
Sirius was dying and he knew it. He didn’t mind either. He had lived seventy-two years and gotten to see Harry’s kids and first grandson. He just wished that Remus had been here with him.
It had been thirty-four years since Remus had died and they hadn’t been easy. If it hadn’t been for Harry, Sirius didn’t know how he would have made it through the years. The two of them had gotten to know each other. Harry caught Sirius up on his life and Sirius told him all about his parents and the things the Marauders did at school. Thanks to Harry, he had been able to fulfill Remus’ last wish for him. He had lived to be old and grey and would die surrounded by Harry’s family.
They were all here now. Harry and his wife Ginny, both of them looking great for their fifties. His oldest son James was standing nearby with his red-headed wife Allison. James was holding their son Remus Arthur. Allison was pregnant with their second child, a girl they were naming Violet Mae. Albus hadn’t married. He was too busy with his work down at the hospital to settle down. Lily had just gotten engaged to young Lorcan Scamander.
Yes, he had definitely fulfilled Remus’ last wish. Now he could join Remus in heaven. It was only a matter of time now. Sirius could feel his heartbeat slowing with each passing beat.
“Uncle Sirius?”
Sirius opened his eyes to see who had spoken. He saw James standing by his side with young Remus in his arms.
“Remus wants to say goodbye.”
Sirius nodded. James gently set the boy down on the bed by his arm where Sirius could see him.
“Hey kiddo. Heard you came to say goodbye.”
Remus nodded his eyes wide. “Where you going?” he asked.
“I’m going to go see Uncle Moony.”
“You come back?”
“No. I’m going to stay with him. And Grandpa James and Grandma Lily.”
Little Remus appeared to be thinking this over. Finally he nodded.
“Okay.” His eyes lit up. “Da, presents.” He commanded.
James suppressed a smile as he came forward with a small bag which he set next to his son. The bag wasn’t big enough to hold a lot of things. Maybe one or two. Remus reached in to the bag and pulled out a large brown wolf which looked like the one Sirius had gotten him when he was a baby. He placed it in the crook of Sirius’ left arm.
“Moony gift.”
Then he pulled out a large black dog that again looked like the one Sirius had gotten him. What was the kid doing? Was he giving Sirius the toys he had given him a few years ago?
“Paddy gift.”
Usually Sirius was good at figuring out what the boy meant but this time he had no clue. He looked to James for an explanation.
“They’re gifts for you and Uncle Moony to remember him by. He wants you to take them with you and give Moony the wolf.” James explained.
“Ah.”
Sirius looked back at Remus and swallowed hard before speaking. It was getting difficult.
“Thank you Remus. I know Uncle Moony will love the gift. As will I.”
Remus nodded and reached out to pat Sirius on the head the same way Sirius used to do to him whenever he left.
“Bye Uncle Paddy. You be good boy for Uncle Moony.”
Sirius body shook for a few moments with painful laughter. James was chuckling as he picked his son up. The chuckles died as he looked down at his uncle and noticed how slow his breathing was.
“Mum. Dad.” He said quietly.
Harry and Ginny were by their oldest’s side in a few seconds. Albus was close behind them. He took one look at his uncle and knew.
“It’s almost time.” His voice was no louder than his brother’s.
Harry leaned down so he could be sure Sirius heard him.
“Say hello to Remus for me. And my parents.”
Sirius faintly heard Harry ask him to say hello to his parents and Remus. Then he could no longer see, hear, or feel anything. There was only total darkness. After what seemed like an eternity, Sirius found himself outside in the bright sunshine. That was odd. He could have sworn that he was in his bed and it was nighttime.
He looked around. There was nothing to give him any indication as to where he was. The only thing he could see was grass as far as the eye could see. Turning back to the direction Sirius assumed he had been facing when he could see again, Sirius gasped. There, in front of him was a large golden gate. Having nothing better to do, he walked towards it. As he got closer, he saw a figure standing just on the other side of the closed gates. From a distance, the figure looked familiar. Sirius wondered who it was. Then he got close enough to see.
“Remus!” He shouted.
To his complete disbelief, Remus was standing on the other side of the gates. The man looked up at the shout and smiled when he saw Sirius.
Sirius broke into a run. He couldn’t believe that Remus was here, wherever here was. As he approached the gates, they slowly swung inward, making Remus take a few steps back. Sirius barreled right through the opening and nearly plowed Remus over. The werewolf was laughing as he caught Sirius in a hug.
“Remus, I can’t believe you’re here.” Sirius said, he voice muffled by Remus’ clothes.
“Of course I’m here. Where else would I be?”
“I don’t know. I don’t even know where we are.” Sirius said, finally pulling away from Remus so he could see his face.
The werewolf laughed again as he shook his head. “We’re in heaven Sirius.”
“Heaven?”
“How else could we meet? I died years ago Sirius. And you were dying.”
Suddenly Sirius remembered everything. He remembered Remus’ death, every last detail. He remembered the years after, learning how to continue on without Remus. He remembered Harry and Ginny’s wedding and the birth of their children. He remembered the birth of Remus Arthur and then the last few hours of his life.
“What’s that in your hands?” Remus asked, interrupting his memories.
Sirius looked down and saw that he was holding a large black dog in his right hand and a brown wolf in his left. Another memory came forward and he remembered little Remus giving him the toys to take with him to Uncle Moony’s, one of which was for the man.
Smiling, Sirius held out the wolf. Looking confused, Remus took it and examined it.
“What is it?” He asked.
“It’s a gift from Harry and Ginny’s grandson.”
“Harry and Ginny have a grandson?”
“Yeah, he’s three years old.”
Remus shook his head. “Wow, time flies. Last I knew their oldest son and his wife were expecting their first child. What’s his name?”
Sirius smiled. “Well, he was named after two people. One of them was an uncle who died before his grandparents were married. The other was his great-grandfather, his grandma’s dad.”
Remus had frozen when Sirius mentioned the uncle. He couldn’t believe it.
“His name is Remus Arthur Potter.”
It was several long minutes before Remus unfroze and managed to speak.
“They named him after me?”
Sirius nodded. “And as far as I can tell, he was appropriately named. He’s very smart for a three year old and loves to read and hear stories, much like his uncle. He also has a fascination with muggle objects such as cars just like his great-grandpa.”
“So what’s with the wolf? The dog I get, but not the wolf.”
Sirius pulled Remus in close. “Remus’ favorite stories were about a group of four boys who called themselves the Marauders. Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. He loved hearing about the things they did in their animal forms. For his second birthday. I got him a stuffed black dog to represent Padfoot and a brown wolf to represent Moony who he knew was a werewolf.”
“You told him that I was a werewolf.”
Sirius nodded. “Yup. And he thought it was wicked cool, just like I did.”
Remus shook his head. “Leave it to you to convince a child that werewolves are cool.”
“Well, I consider myself to be a bit of an expert. I did share a dorm with one for seven years and got to know him so well that I fell in love with him. I also spent one night a month running around with him on the night of the full moon. I got lucky enough to have him fall in love with me as well and spent a total of six years living with him.”
Sirius pulled Remus into a heart stopping kiss. The kiss conveyed exactly how much Sirius had missed him and reassured Remus that Sirius had never stopped loving him. Remus didn’t hesitate as he returned the kiss. For what seemed like an eternity, the two men stood locked in a passionate kiss. Eventually they broke apart, staring at each other with the slightly dazed, serene expression that they wore whenever they kissed.
Remus was the first to snap out of it. Grinning, he grabbed Sirius’ wrist and dragged him forward.
“Come on Sirius. There’s so much I want to show you. And there are a few people who want to meet you as well.”
Sirius had to jog to keep up with the werewolf. As they got further from the gates, he could see more and more of heaven. He sucked in his breath. The place was beautiful. It looked a lot like London and eventually Remus came to a stop outside of a house. Sirius recognized it. It was an exact replica of their house on earth. He turned to Remus with a look of wonder.
Remus simply grinned again. “I know.”
The he pointed over Sirius’ shoulder. “There are the people I mentioned. They’ve been waiting for a long time, longer than I have.”
Sirius spun around and saw two people he never expected to see.
“Prongs!” He shouted.
“Padfoot.” The other man shouted back.
AN: When I first wrote this story, I was asked to do both epilogues and so I did. I will warn you, the first half of that chapter will be identical to the first half of this chapter. Otherwise it’ll be different. I would love a comment from whoever is reading this. Especially since I have a couple of long days coming up.
Warnings: Character Death
Rating: T
Sirius was dying and he knew it. He didn’t mind either. He had lived seventy-two years and gotten to see Harry’s kids and first grandson. He just wished that Remus had been here with him.
It had been thirty-four years since Remus had died and they hadn’t been easy. If it hadn’t been for Harry, Sirius didn’t know how he would have made it through the years. The two of them had gotten to know each other. Harry caught Sirius up on his life and Sirius told him all about his parents and the things the Marauders did at school. Thanks to Harry, he had been able to fulfill Remus’ last wish for him. He had lived to be old and grey and would die surrounded by Harry’s family.
They were all here now. Harry and his wife Ginny, both of them looking great for their fifties. His oldest son James was standing nearby with his red-headed wife Allison. James was holding their son Remus Arthur. Allison was pregnant with their second child, a girl they were naming Violet Mae. Albus hadn’t married. He was too busy with his work down at the hospital to settle down. Lily had just gotten engaged to young Lorcan Scamander.
Yes, he had definitely fulfilled Remus’ last wish. Now he could join Remus in heaven. It was only a matter of time now. Sirius could feel his heartbeat slowing with each passing beat.
“Uncle Sirius?”
Sirius opened his eyes to see who had spoken. He saw James standing by his side with young Remus in his arms.
“Remus wants to say goodbye.”
Sirius nodded. James gently set the boy down on the bed by his arm where Sirius could see him.
“Hey kiddo. Heard you came to say goodbye.”
Remus nodded his eyes wide. “Where you going?” he asked.
“I’m going to go see Uncle Moony.”
“You come back?”
“No. I’m going to stay with him. And Grandpa James and Grandma Lily.”
Little Remus appeared to be thinking this over. Finally he nodded.
“Okay.” His eyes lit up. “Da, presents.” He commanded.
James suppressed a smile as he came forward with a small bag which he set next to his son. The bag wasn’t big enough to hold a lot of things. Maybe one or two. Remus reached in to the bag and pulled out a large brown wolf which looked like the one Sirius had gotten him when he was a baby. He placed it in the crook of Sirius’ left arm.
“Moony gift.”
Then he pulled out a large black dog that again looked like the one Sirius had gotten him. What was the kid doing? Was he giving Sirius the toys he had given him a few years ago?
“Paddy gift.”
Usually Sirius was good at figuring out what the boy meant but this time he had no clue. He looked to James for an explanation.
“They’re gifts for you and Uncle Moony to remember him by. He wants you to take them with you and give Moony the wolf.” James explained.
“Ah.”
Sirius looked back at Remus and swallowed hard before speaking. It was getting difficult.
“Thank you Remus. I know Uncle Moony will love the gift. As will I.”
Remus nodded and reached out to pat Sirius on the head the same way Sirius used to do to him whenever he left.
“Bye Uncle Paddy. You be good boy for Uncle Moony.”
Sirius body shook for a few moments with painful laughter. James was chuckling as he picked his son up. The chuckles died as he looked down at his uncle and noticed how slow his breathing was.
“Mum. Dad.” He said quietly.
Harry and Ginny were by their oldest’s side in a few seconds. Albus was close behind them. He took one look at his uncle and knew.
“It’s almost time.” His voice was no louder than his brother’s.
Harry leaned down so he could be sure Sirius heard him.
“Say hello to Remus for me. And my parents.”
Sirius faintly heard Harry ask him to say hello to his parents and Remus. There was a much louder voice calling his name.
“Sirius. Sirius, wake up.”
Sirius tried to obey the voice. He tried to open his eyes but they wouldn’t obey him. They stubbornly remained closed.
“Come on Padfoot open your eyes. It’s time to get up.”
That sentence brought back a flash of a memory.
It was his fifth year and Sirius had gotten to bed late. He and Remus had stayed up the night before talking, mostly about their childhoods to Sirius’ annoyance. Now someone was insisting that he get up when his body just wanted more sleep.
“Siri, if you don’t get up right now, I won’t let you kiss me for the next week.” The voice threatened.
That had gotten Sirius’ attention. He knew who was talking to him now. Remus Lupin, his boyfriend. Kissing Remus was one of Sirius’ favorite ways to pass the time and the possibility of losing that for a week was enough to get him out of bed.
Sirius sat up in his bed, rubbing his eyes as he yawned.
“Alright, alright. I’m up. What is it Rem?”
Remus stood by the bed, still dressed in his pajama shirt and sweat pants. He was smiling as he looked down at Sirius.
“You promised you would watch the sunrise with me Siri.” The werewolf said.
Right, he had promised Remus that he would. For as long as Sirius had known him, Remus had always been an early riser, stating that he had trouble sleeping. Remus was always up in time to watch the sunrise and had commented more than once on the beauty of it. Curious by nature, Sirius had wondered if it was really as beautiful as Remus made it out to be. However, he had never gotten up for two reasons. One, Sirius was not a morning person. He usually waited until the last possible minute before getting up. And two, Sirius found that he didn’t want to intrude on Remus’ personal time. Now that the two were dating though, Sirius had the opportunity to find out.
With that thought in mind, Sirius had climbed out of bed and followed his boyfriend to the window seat. They sat in silence for a few minutes as they waited for the sun to start rising. When it did, Sirius felt his breath catch in his throat. Now he could see why Remus loved to watch the sunrise. It was beautiful.
Once the sun was fully above the horizon, Remus turned to Sirius with a smile on his face. “Well?” He asked.
“That was beautiful Rem. Now I see why you love it so much.” Sirius said honestly.
The smile that lit up Remus’ face was the one Sirius loved to see. The young werewolf leaned in and Sirius met him halfway.
The entire memory flashed through Sirius’ mind in the space of a few seconds. The voice was still there, calling to him.
“Come on Padfoot, open your eyes.”
Summoning the strength and will from somewhere in his mind, Sirius slowly opened one eye, then the other. What he saw made him close them quickly before opening them again. He was hallucinating. He had to be. How else would he be able to see Remus standing over him with a smile on his face?
“Remus?” Sirius asked, his voice coming out stronger than it had in the last few years.
Remus’ smile grew. “Yes Sirius. Come on, it’s time to get up.”
Feeling his strength return, Sirius sat up and looked around confusedly. He appeared to still be in his room. The only difference was that Harry and his family was gone and Remus was here. Was this a dream?
“I’m dreaming.” Sirius muttered to himself.
Remus shook his head. “You’re not dreaming Siri.”
“There’s no other explanation.” Sirius shot back.
Remus reached out a hand and lightly rapped Sirius on the head. “Think Sirius. What happened to me?”
Sirius frowned as he tried to recall. There was a ghost of a memory floating around in his head. Something had happened to Remus. But what was it?
Sirius gasped as the memory hit him like lightning.
“You died. You were hit with a curse during the battle of Hogwarts and died about an hour after it was all over.”
Remus smiled. “Yes. I died. Do you remember how many years it’s been since then?”
“Thirty-four.” Sirius said confidently.
“Yup. What’s the last thing you remember?”
“I was dying. Harry and Ginny were there. And their kids. And a little boy. Harry’s grandson. His name was…” Sirius stopped suddenly and looked at Remus mischievously. Remus was looking at him curiously, waiting for him to go on.
“Do you know the name of Harry’s grandson?” Sirius asked.
He was hoping Moony didn’t. Sirius wanted to see the look on his face as he explained it all to him. To his delight, Remus shook his head.
“Nope. I missed the birth. And every time I’ve checked up on them, no one mentions his name. What is his name?”
“Well, you know how Harry started the tradition of naming kids after people who had died.”
Remus nodded. “He named his children after James, Albus, and Lily. Albus is the only one to have been named after two people who had died, though I pity the boy for having to go through life with a name like that.”
Sirius laughed. “Yeah, we gave him a hard time about that one. Anyway, James decided to carry on the tradition with his son. He named him after two people who had died. People who died and meant something to him.”
Sirius could see that he had Remus hanging off his every word. The man never did like not knowing something. Especially about his family. Deciding to put Remus out of his misery, he finally told him.
“James gave his son the middle name Arthur, after his only living grandfather who had taught him so much. His grandfather had died while his wife was pregnant though, and never got to meet his great grandson.
“The baby’s first name however, came from someone else. James named him after his uncle who had died before his parents were married. He had grown up hearing stories about this man who was a Marauder, and decided to name his son after the only other good Marauder who had died. So he gave the boy the first name Remus. The baby’s full name was Remus Arthur Potter.”
Remus appeared to have frozen. He had known exactly who Sirius was talking about when he mentioned the uncle who had died. He knew that Sirius was considered to be an uncle by Harry’s three children. He also knew that whenever his name was mentioned, he was always called Uncle Moony.
It was several long minutes before he got over the shock and unfroze.
“They named the baby after me?” He asked softly.
Sirius nodded. “Yup. I remember the day little Remus was born. James came out of the delivery room holding him in his arms and announced that Remus Arthur Potter was here before handing him to his father. Harry immediately passed the baby to me saying that as I was close to you, I should be the first to meet your namesake.”
Remus was quiet as he took in the information. It touched him that James would have named his first born after him.
“I have to tell you Rem. He was appropriately named.”
“That broke Remus out of his musings. “How so?”
“He is the most curious child I have ever met. He loves learning new things, more so than James or Harry ever did. He also loves to sit down with his books and look through them. For his last birthday, he asked for new books. He’s also extremely smart for a three year old. Ginny says that’s because he reads all the time.
“He’s also extraordinarily curious about Muggle objects. He loves cars, bikes and planes. Basically anything with a motor at the minute. He also has a fascination with rubber ducks.”
Remus was chuckling. “Sounds exactly like Arthur.”
Sirius reached out and pulled Remus into his arms. He buried his face in the other man’s hair for a minute, inhaling that sweet scent of chocolate, books, and something that was undoubtedly Moony. It was a scent that he had missed.
“And you.” He said into the man’s ear.
Remus shuddered a bit and placed his hand on the bed for balance. Or at least, that’s what he meant to do. Instead his hand connected with something soft and fuzzy.
Pulling away from Sirius, he looked at the object under his hand. There was a large brown wolf lying on the bed. Right next to the wolf was a large black dog. Remus frowned. He knew there hadn’t been any animals in the room before and was curious as to how the wolf and dog had gotten here.
“Sirius, where did these stuffed animals come from?”
Sirius looked down at the animals in surprise. He had forgotten about the gifts little Remus had given him just before he died. Looking back up at Remus he smiled.
“They’re gifts. Little Remus gave them to me before I died and insisted that I was to bring them to Uncle Moony’s with me.”
“Okay. But what’s with the wolf.”
“Like I said, James grew up hearing stories about the Marauders. Those stories also included their illegal animagus forms and the fact that one of them was a werewolf. When Remus grew a bit older, James started telling him the same bedtime stories. Harry and I both helped of course. Little Remus knew that one of the Marauders, Uncle Moony, had the animal form of a large brown wolf.”
“You told him that I was a werewolf?” Remus asked shocked.
Sirius shook his head. “Not yet. He’s only three. He doesn’t understand about werewolves yet. James and Harry were going to wait until he was older before they explained everything to him. The boy just thinks that the wolf was your animal form, like how mine was a black dog.”
Remus was relieved. He had been three when he was bitten and knew that werewolves were something that no three year old should know about. That was something the boy could wait to learn about.
Sirius picked up the wolf and handed it to Remus. “Here, this one’s for you.”
Remus took the wolf and looked at it. Surprisingly, it looked exactly like he had. Same brown fur and amber eyes. The only thing missing was the scars covering the body.
While Remus was distracted, Sirius took the opportunity to pull Remus back into his arms and press a light kiss on his cheek. Gods, how he had missed this. It was the little things like having Remus in his arms that Sirius had missed the most.
Before he could take it any further, a loud chime sounded throughout the house. Remus’ eyes lit up.
“They’re here.” He said.
“Tell them to go away.” Sirius grumbled, burying his face in Remus’ hair.
“They’ve wait a long time to see you Sirius.”
“I don’t care. I missed you and I’m not letting you go.” Sirius voice was full of promise.
Remus wiggled out of his embrace and stood up. “Later Sirius. We have all of eternity for that.” He promised. “In the meantime, come on. You’ll want to see them.”
Sirius sighed. It didn’t seem like he was going to get started on making up the thirty-four years he and Remus had lost so he supposed he might as well meet Remus’ friends.
He got up and followed Remus to the living room. The werewolf stepped to the side and gestured for Sirius to open the door. Confused, the animagus stepped forward and pulled the door open.
“Hel…” The greeting died in Sirius’ throat. Standing there on the other side of the door were James and Lily, both of them wearing face splitting grins.
“Padfoot.” James said, pulling Sirius into a hug.
Sirius hugged him back and then turned to Lily. When he let her go, James beckoned him outside.
“Come on Sirius. We have a lot of pranks to make up for.”
An: This is the end of Goodbye. I would love to hear what you think of this. Constructive criticism is appreciated. Flames will be laughed at and used to heat up my potions cauldron.