Shot down again
I just got word that a job I applied for down in Des Moines is "looking at other applicants who better fulfil our needs." While they are within their rights, I get dreadfully weary of this sort of nonsense.
I've been up against Catch-22 ever since I stupidly came home from China (note to self: Never, never trust my parents, and never, never forgive them for not telling me what was going on so I at least knew what sort of noose I was sticking my neck into!) and I am unutterably weary of it. I hate job hunting; I hate it with all my heart. Every goddamn employer in the world wants someone with "experience," but nobody is willing to hire me so I can gain the experience...and then I'm held personally responsible for not being able to find work! Catch-22, all the way!
Being turned down for work I could do standing on my head does nothing for my morale or my disposition, and then being blamed and berated for not having a "career-track job" is enough to send me dangerously close to homicidal rage. My friends have commented on my "anger issues," but as long as I feel I have good and sufficient reasons to be angry, I snap my fingers at their attempts to de-fuse them. As for advice to "turn the other cheek"---I ran out of cheeks to turn decades ago.
Part of what fuels my resentment and rage is that I feel that I, and my family, were sold a big fat bill of goods---I went to college on the understanding that afterwards I'd be able to get a "career-track" job. What happened afterwards was not all my college's fault by any means. The disastrophe that awaited me at home was not their fault for one second, and neither was the big economic downturn (often called the "Reagan recession") that hit the Upper Midwest. However, they could easily have figured out that I wouldn't be on campus my senior year, and sent me and/or my parents a letter to the effect that being there would mean that I could take advantage of job fairs and interviews where I would not be expected to have experience.
Another fertile source of resentment is the existence of "affirmative action," particularly since it seems to have no end in sight, ever. It was originally intended to encourage employers to look at people they'd previously overlooked, but turned into a quota system almost instantly, since not going along with it meant trouble with the law. If I were black, or, better still, a "Native American" *pausing to ritually kowtow to the greatness of "Native Americans"* I could have been in a government job for decades by now, and long since out of this damned trap I've been in. Instead, I can't so much as get a goddamn interview, and nobody will tell me what is wrong!
Right now, I'm trying for a job at our local library, that, again, I could do standing on my head. The deadline for applications was a couple of weeks ago. I've got a bet on with my brother---if they don't even have the empty courtesy to call me in for an interview, John will send me money to buy a six-pack of whatever beer I want, otherwise, I will send him the money. I can taste that beer already.