end of my tether
I'm tired. Not physically -- I've been sleeping like the dead, staying completely awake at school, and I haven't even been taking naps when I get home.
I'm tired of school. And it's not the usual blah blah it's so hard and it sucks and would you like some cheese with that whine tiredness, either. I wouldn't mind if it was hard -- I wouldn't mind learning. The problem with this picture is that I'm not. I love knowledge -- I love learning. I go to school to be taught, dammit, not to spew numbers and work overtime on things that don't interest me.
Here's the breakdown:
1st period: Study hall. I spend this time doing leftover algebra, chemistry or english homework, when I'm not off working on ads for the yearbook or getting extra tutoring in algebra or chemistry. In other words, the lingering dregs of the previous day. 50 minutes of a complete lack of thought.
2nd: Chemistry. Every once in a while, Mrs. Black shines through with about two sentences of interesting conversation. It's like she gets carried away with giving notes and actually manages to teach us something for 30 seconds. But then people look up from their papers and give her looks that say, "Yeah, whatever, shut up and scroll the notes so I can ignore you better." And then we go back to crunching numbers and sticking bits of pipe cleaner in styrofoam to make a model of elemental electronegativity, which she never even bothered to teach us the principles of. I feel sorry for her and hate her at the same time.
3rd: English. I love words. I love writing. I love reading. Therefore, by all rights, I should love English. But even though we spend more time on literature than on grammar, we spend almost no time discussing it. If anyone talks, it's Mrs. Burnett. I mean, I'd like to know other people's opinions, too. And then we take a test that takes two weeks to finish and no one speaks again until we start the next book/story/poem. She may have been a slavedriver, but I think I liked Mrs. Lowe's teaching method better. Mrs. B's fun to talk to -- but as of this moment, her class is boring as hell.
4th: Algebra II. I can't even function on any kind of conscious level of awareness in here. I used to try to comprehend what she was saying, but now I just accept the stream of words and write it down and do the homework. I'm passing with a high A. Before entering the room, I make sure to empty my metaphysical pockets and shut off my brain.
5th: U.S. History. Sometimes we spend 3/4s of the class watching the news. NBC news. Gag me with a spoon. The only thing you can say for it is that it's not FOX. After that, Coach Millender talks about history. Most days I listen, some days I take a break -- but to be honest, he may be the only truly interesting teacher I have. Nobody else thinks so, but I guess I'm so starved for any kind of knowledge that I'll take what I can get. Although I did have to tell him what a pogrom was today. (He lost brownie points for that one.) And he leaves impossible work when he's absent, which is often, seeing as he has an infant child now. (How dare teachers have lives?)
6th: Journalism. I work. I mean, seriously, I work. It feels like an office full of incompetent coworkers who never finish what they say they were going to start so that your life might be a little easier. And because I am the "reliable" one, I get to do last year's ad pages that the now-graduated seniors "forgot" to come back and finish. I used to think it was kind of fun, but now I just think it's disgusting. I feel like I should be getting paid.
7th: Computer Applications. The class I have to take because I didn't go to the local middle school, where all the "normal" kids already took it. 50 minutes of learning the joys of Microsoft Excel with a complete flake of a teacher who has absolutely no concept of other people's time or occupation. Going in there willingly can be likened to self-inducing vomiting. (Today I read Jon Stewart's "essay" The Devil and William Gates. It was very educational.)
After school (and before school, and at random moments during school, and sometimes in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping): Scholar's Bowl, Math competition practice, FBLA, Junior-Senior banquet, Stroke of the Pen, NCTE Writing competition, random field trips/extracurriculars in U.S. History, and a social life.
And in that one leftover hour between the time I finish my homework and the time I go to sleep at night, I have a choice: 1) read. 2) write. 3) go on the internet. 4) watch TV. Over time, 2 and 3 have pretty much ruled themselves out, seeing as they more mental effort than I have the time or the brainpower for. As of today, 1 has become usurped by reading Frankenstein for english class, which makes it no better than school come back to haunt me and therefore not enjoyable in the slightest. So I usually resort to 4. It requires less thinking.
Or I just skip it altogether and go to bed early because I'm so f-cking tired.
Yours in the most profound frustration,
-Rave
I'm tired of school. And it's not the usual blah blah it's so hard and it sucks and would you like some cheese with that whine tiredness, either. I wouldn't mind if it was hard -- I wouldn't mind learning. The problem with this picture is that I'm not. I love knowledge -- I love learning. I go to school to be taught, dammit, not to spew numbers and work overtime on things that don't interest me.
Here's the breakdown:
1st period: Study hall. I spend this time doing leftover algebra, chemistry or english homework, when I'm not off working on ads for the yearbook or getting extra tutoring in algebra or chemistry. In other words, the lingering dregs of the previous day. 50 minutes of a complete lack of thought.
2nd: Chemistry. Every once in a while, Mrs. Black shines through with about two sentences of interesting conversation. It's like she gets carried away with giving notes and actually manages to teach us something for 30 seconds. But then people look up from their papers and give her looks that say, "Yeah, whatever, shut up and scroll the notes so I can ignore you better." And then we go back to crunching numbers and sticking bits of pipe cleaner in styrofoam to make a model of elemental electronegativity, which she never even bothered to teach us the principles of. I feel sorry for her and hate her at the same time.
3rd: English. I love words. I love writing. I love reading. Therefore, by all rights, I should love English. But even though we spend more time on literature than on grammar, we spend almost no time discussing it. If anyone talks, it's Mrs. Burnett. I mean, I'd like to know other people's opinions, too. And then we take a test that takes two weeks to finish and no one speaks again until we start the next book/story/poem. She may have been a slavedriver, but I think I liked Mrs. Lowe's teaching method better. Mrs. B's fun to talk to -- but as of this moment, her class is boring as hell.
4th: Algebra II. I can't even function on any kind of conscious level of awareness in here. I used to try to comprehend what she was saying, but now I just accept the stream of words and write it down and do the homework. I'm passing with a high A. Before entering the room, I make sure to empty my metaphysical pockets and shut off my brain.
5th: U.S. History. Sometimes we spend 3/4s of the class watching the news. NBC news. Gag me with a spoon. The only thing you can say for it is that it's not FOX. After that, Coach Millender talks about history. Most days I listen, some days I take a break -- but to be honest, he may be the only truly interesting teacher I have. Nobody else thinks so, but I guess I'm so starved for any kind of knowledge that I'll take what I can get. Although I did have to tell him what a pogrom was today. (He lost brownie points for that one.) And he leaves impossible work when he's absent, which is often, seeing as he has an infant child now. (How dare teachers have lives?)
6th: Journalism. I work. I mean, seriously, I work. It feels like an office full of incompetent coworkers who never finish what they say they were going to start so that your life might be a little easier. And because I am the "reliable" one, I get to do last year's ad pages that the now-graduated seniors "forgot" to come back and finish. I used to think it was kind of fun, but now I just think it's disgusting. I feel like I should be getting paid.
7th: Computer Applications. The class I have to take because I didn't go to the local middle school, where all the "normal" kids already took it. 50 minutes of learning the joys of Microsoft Excel with a complete flake of a teacher who has absolutely no concept of other people's time or occupation. Going in there willingly can be likened to self-inducing vomiting. (Today I read Jon Stewart's "essay" The Devil and William Gates. It was very educational.)
After school (and before school, and at random moments during school, and sometimes in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping): Scholar's Bowl, Math competition practice, FBLA, Junior-Senior banquet, Stroke of the Pen, NCTE Writing competition, random field trips/extracurriculars in U.S. History, and a social life.
And in that one leftover hour between the time I finish my homework and the time I go to sleep at night, I have a choice: 1) read. 2) write. 3) go on the internet. 4) watch TV. Over time, 2 and 3 have pretty much ruled themselves out, seeing as they more mental effort than I have the time or the brainpower for. As of today, 1 has become usurped by reading Frankenstein for english class, which makes it no better than school come back to haunt me and therefore not enjoyable in the slightest. So I usually resort to 4. It requires less thinking.
Or I just skip it altogether and go to bed early because I'm so f-cking tired.
Yours in the most profound frustration,
-Rave