a metaphor.
My fandoms are relationships. I've had lots of one-night stands. I retain a lot of ongoing friendships, which are nice but not involving. Harry Potter got famous and we just couldn't relate to each other any more. Trigun grew up and passed peacefully of old age. Farscape was killed in a drive-by shooting, leaving me numb and unwilling to start something new for a couple of years.
Doctor Who led me on, played me, and dumped me ruthlessly via text message. We have not spoken since.
As the Christmas special/Tennant's last episode airs over the next two weeks, I'm going to play a drinking game.
One shot for every instance of the following:
-Ignoring continuity outright or providing a truly horrendous explanation for any retconning, especially in regards to Donna & the Master.
-Flanderization of Ten's "rudeness" (as a joke/as a plot device/given positive reinforcement/used synonymously with "infallible" or "always right").
-Ha ha, mind rape is funny/dismissable. If Donna forgives the Doctor at any point, for any reason, it will count.
-Isn't it obvious that fobbing sex toy clone Ten off on Rose is the perfect poetic solution? She's quite happy with her lame consolation prize new and improved human!Doctor. Aww, look at them being domestic. Catching a husband and learning to stay in the kitchen was the best thing that ever happened to her.
-On the other side of the feminist rage!coin: "Look at Rose! Look at Rose! OMG she's totally unqualified for any job more complicated than retail and never gets anything right EVER and she screws things up with her mere presence ALL THE TIME, and all of these things might make for an interesting character except that everyone else in-show thinks she's PERFECT and that she can shoot RAINBOWS out her ass and that they're all terrible and worthless people compared to her skewed morality? unrepentant self-centeredness? uncanny resemblance to Bella Swan? GLOWING GENIUS OF PERFECTION! Isn't she wonderful in every way? ALL the girls want to be her!!! And clearly I know everything there is to know about being a heterosexual woman. Fantastic!" -Russel T. Davies
-Messianic imagery in any form.
-Slow motion.
-Ten does that emo face. You know, that one. Two drinks for kicked puppy face. (Crocodile tears, Ten. No sympathy at all.)
-The scale of potential destruction involved in the Plot Device Of The Week is so laughably vast and beyond human comprehension (26 planets destroyed? try "reality will cease to be!") that the level of potential personal interest in whether or not the Doctor succeeds in Saving The Day is reduced to nothing.
-There was no point in even trying to care, because the Doctor succeeds. As always.
-Disney moment with all the cameo guest actors whose schedules permitted them to show up for a day of filming; see: everyone drives the TARDIS (except Jackie, because sometimes hate and exclusion are funny).
Finish drink for:
-Crucifixion imagery, particularly if specifically related to Ten's death or the circumstances immediately surrounding it.
-Nothing really changes in the end because Status Quo Is God. This includes the inevitable moment of regeneration, because A) it is an established order of events and part of the status quo, and B) even though one actor is leaving, it's not like the Doctor is actually going to die.
In summary: Doctor Who has driven me to drink.
-rave
In other news, HAPPY CHRISTMAHANNUKWANZAKADAN! (Or, in the words of Community, "Merry Happy!")
Doctor Who led me on, played me, and dumped me ruthlessly via text message. We have not spoken since.
As the Christmas special/Tennant's last episode airs over the next two weeks, I'm going to play a drinking game.
One shot for every instance of the following:
-Ignoring continuity outright or providing a truly horrendous explanation for any retconning, especially in regards to Donna & the Master.
-Flanderization of Ten's "rudeness" (as a joke/as a plot device/given positive reinforcement/used synonymously with "infallible" or "always right").
-Ha ha, mind rape is funny/dismissable. If Donna forgives the Doctor at any point, for any reason, it will count.
-Isn't it obvious that fobbing sex toy clone Ten off on Rose is the perfect poetic solution? She's quite happy with her lame consolation prize new and improved human!Doctor. Aww, look at them being domestic. Catching a husband and learning to stay in the kitchen was the best thing that ever happened to her.
-On the other side of the feminist rage!coin: "Look at Rose! Look at Rose! OMG she's totally unqualified for any job more complicated than retail and never gets anything right EVER and she screws things up with her mere presence ALL THE TIME, and all of these things might make for an interesting character except that everyone else in-show thinks she's PERFECT and that she can shoot RAINBOWS out her ass and that they're all terrible and worthless people compared to her skewed morality? unrepentant self-centeredness? uncanny resemblance to Bella Swan? GLOWING GENIUS OF PERFECTION! Isn't she wonderful in every way? ALL the girls want to be her!!! And clearly I know everything there is to know about being a heterosexual woman. Fantastic!" -Russel T. Davies
-Messianic imagery in any form.
-Slow motion.
-Ten does that emo face. You know, that one. Two drinks for kicked puppy face. (Crocodile tears, Ten. No sympathy at all.)
-The scale of potential destruction involved in the Plot Device Of The Week is so laughably vast and beyond human comprehension (26 planets destroyed? try "reality will cease to be!") that the level of potential personal interest in whether or not the Doctor succeeds in Saving The Day is reduced to nothing.
-There was no point in even trying to care, because the Doctor succeeds. As always.
-Disney moment with all the cameo guest actors whose schedules permitted them to show up for a day of filming; see: everyone drives the TARDIS (except Jackie, because sometimes hate and exclusion are funny).
Finish drink for:
-Crucifixion imagery, particularly if specifically related to Ten's death or the circumstances immediately surrounding it.
-Nothing really changes in the end because Status Quo Is God. This includes the inevitable moment of regeneration, because A) it is an established order of events and part of the status quo, and B) even though one actor is leaving, it's not like the Doctor is actually going to die.
In summary: Doctor Who has driven me to drink.
-rave
In other news, HAPPY CHRISTMAHANNUKWANZAKADAN! (Or, in the words of Community, "Merry Happy!")