i just figured something out
In roughly 90% of applicable cases, my attraction to an actor is directly proportional to the size of his nose.
I will now demonstrate proof. This is not at all an excuse to make a picspam of teh pretteh instead of doing work. What.
The most infamous enormous schnoz of them all: David Duchovny's.
As Mulder in season 5, with the casual clothes and the floppy hair and the gun and the guhhhhhh:
Don't even argue, you know Mulder's hot.
Anyway, then there's David "Daisy" Wenham, whose nose is 4x bigger than Sean Bean's and therefore ruins any believability in them being brothers.
Oh Faramir, whyfore you so pretteh?
Of course there's the guy who started this entire train of thought the other day, when I was singing the praises of his hotness and looking up pictures -- newtypeblue, I think, pointed out that he has a big nose, and he isn't wrong:
OH HAI NEIL GAIMAN.
Also, guess what?
OH HAI JON STEWART.
I just realized that I forgot to get a picture of James McAvoy. Not the biggest nose ever, but certainly not dainty. Also, I should point out that Adrian Brody, despite nostrils you could drive a semi through, is FUGLY.
Continuing on now.
Henry Ian Cusick (Desmond Hume from LOST) says hi as well:
His nose is as hot as his Scottishness, dammit.
Ben Browder gets honorary mention for being the hottest man currently living on this planet, size of facial appendages notwithstanding (ahem):
But hey, he kinda fits the M.O. of this post anyway.
Now let's get into Rave's thing for big-nosed ethnicities (because you know what? African and Middle Eastern are both hotter than Asian. I am prepared for my Japanophile fangirl lynching. Bring it.):
Chiwetel Ejiofor OMG I'm not even kidding. (The Operative in Serenity, one of the Fishes in Children of Men)
Naveeeeeeen Andrews. The ocean says yes. (Iraqi Sayid Jarrah, LOST, although Naveen is actually British.)
D.B. Woodside (Principal Robin Wood from Buffy.) I mean, the nose, yes, but seriously... look at those eyes. Look. At. Them. That is, like, one of the perfect faces.
And God knows I can't say this guy's name to say my life, but... Adewale Akinnuoye Agbaje? Nigerian accent intact? Gimme.
Oh and I forgot Rand (is this Rand? there are like a million Miller bros. and all their names start with R) Miller, as Atrus from the Myst games... my inappropriate older-guy Giles-like crush. It partly has to do with the awesome costumes he wears as Atrus. I can't help it, he's all intellectual and creative at the same time. *whimper*
Wait, we can't talk about noses without mentioning Rave's most deeply ingrained girlcrush:
Dude, that profile.
And to REALLY prove that I am not even kidding about the nose thing, observe how it even applies to anime characters:
And... Alan Cumming can join the party because he's awesome. Also his nose is really narrow, but damn is it long. And also kinda broken-looking, which I also like.
So the Asians don't feel left out... he doesn't really fit the nose M.O., but Daniel Dae Kim is quite pleasant eyecandy nonetheless.
Okay, and now for a thoroughly gratuitous picspam of, last but not least, my current mild actor/character obsession... Michael Emerson as master manipulator Ben Linus on LOST.
A) He does indeed have an enormous nose. Also, he cleans up and does artsy well.
B) He straight-up looks and sounds like he would be a really cool guy to know and be friends with. He seems pretty chill, not big on fame, a fan of reading, comedy stage acting, and calling his mother when he gets nominated for an Emmy. D'awwwww. Also amused if a little bewildered when random people come up and are like, "OMG I hate you! You're awesome!"
C) And, um... if Michael Emerson cleans up well, Ben Linus bruises up well. Like. Um. I have this thing for battered villains. Or battered... any character that I like. Um.
Look, the gratuitous crucifixion symbolism while the survivors question him as "Henry Gale"!
AND THE CREEPIEST SMILE EVER. This is the "I've just explained in graphic detail how I could easily betray, ambush and horribly kill you all... you know, if I were evil. Wouldn't that be clever of me? Haha. *UNASSUMING SMILE OF YOU-DON'T-KNOW-I-KILLED-MY-FATHER-WITH-NERVE-GAS-AND-WATCHED-HIM-DIE EVILNESS*"
And possibly even creepier staring than smiling. Wiiiiiide eyes. You can almost always see white all the way around the irises of his eyes, which gives him that perfect slightly-more-insane-than-earnest look.
He's one of those characters that I can really sink my character-analyzing teeth into because he's full of such extremes of intensity, cocooned in this shell of meekness. And his soft-spoken outward persona is so obviously his own construct, but it's so thoroughly maintained that it's like The Prestige, the story of the magician who maintains a major lie for every waking moment of his life so that his greatest illusion will appear real. (He acts like a doddering old man ALL THE TIME, so that no one will question his bowed legs; he keeps a full goldfish bowl between his legs so he can make it "magically" appear on a low table during his show.) Ben is this seething, compacted mass of fermented-sour pain -- both physically and mentally, as is sort of symbolically revealed with his tumor (which also causes numbness in his hands). There's just this horror in the notion that he was already in so much pain when he was captured, and then tortured by people who didn't know. Did he have a death wish, or is be beyond death wishes? I think he wants to live (or at least doesn't want to die) with the same kind of maniacal fervor with which he needs to manipulate everyone and everything around him. I can't imagine him ever being as calm on the inside as he is outwardly. I should do a whole ramble-speculation-post about Ben, the symbolism around him (Wizard of Oz/Man Behind the Curtain and Alice In Wonderland/White Rabbit references especially, although I'm sure other people have already picked that nit to death), the thrill of fear and discord that the idea of his vulnerability raises. It's so strange to see him lying down. You almost never do. Once, he's lying down in his cell at the Swan and reading a book. He sits up the moment someone else enters the room. But then the next time he isn't being active, active, active is when he lies facedown on the operating table and murmurs "I'm ready" to himself -- obviously not ready. I think that's the only time we see him asleep, too (up to mid-season 3 anyway, which is where I am right now in catching up). Although even then he wakes up halfway through the surgery and doesn't even waste a breath on shock; he just immediately starts giving orders, making deals, manipulating people until everything falls back into exactly the place he wants it to be. Ben effectively defuses Jack's sabotage while still on the freaking table, back flayed open, kidney bleeding out. I mean. Seriously. That guy is crazy. Crazy awesome.
He's just a brilliant character, brilliantly played, and he so should have gotten that Emmy.
God, must sleep now. I have to get up and paint sets at the theatre in the morning. Boo!
-rave
I will now demonstrate proof. This is not at all an excuse to make a picspam of teh pretteh instead of doing work. What.
The most infamous enormous schnoz of them all: David Duchovny's.
As Mulder in season 5, with the casual clothes and the floppy hair and the gun and the guhhhhhh:
Don't even argue, you know Mulder's hot.
Anyway, then there's David "Daisy" Wenham, whose nose is 4x bigger than Sean Bean's and therefore ruins any believability in them being brothers.
Oh Faramir, whyfore you so pretteh?
Of course there's the guy who started this entire train of thought the other day, when I was singing the praises of his hotness and looking up pictures -- newtypeblue, I think, pointed out that he has a big nose, and he isn't wrong:
OH HAI NEIL GAIMAN.
Also, guess what?
OH HAI JON STEWART.
I just realized that I forgot to get a picture of James McAvoy. Not the biggest nose ever, but certainly not dainty. Also, I should point out that Adrian Brody, despite nostrils you could drive a semi through, is FUGLY.
Continuing on now.
Henry Ian Cusick (Desmond Hume from LOST) says hi as well:
His nose is as hot as his Scottishness, dammit.
Ben Browder gets honorary mention for being the hottest man currently living on this planet, size of facial appendages notwithstanding (ahem):
But hey, he kinda fits the M.O. of this post anyway.
Now let's get into Rave's thing for big-nosed ethnicities (because you know what? African and Middle Eastern are both hotter than Asian. I am prepared for my Japanophile fangirl lynching. Bring it.):
Chiwetel Ejiofor OMG I'm not even kidding. (The Operative in Serenity, one of the Fishes in Children of Men)
Naveeeeeeen Andrews. The ocean says yes. (Iraqi Sayid Jarrah, LOST, although Naveen is actually British.)
D.B. Woodside (Principal Robin Wood from Buffy.) I mean, the nose, yes, but seriously... look at those eyes. Look. At. Them. That is, like, one of the perfect faces.
And God knows I can't say this guy's name to say my life, but... Adewale Akinnuoye Agbaje? Nigerian accent intact? Gimme.
Oh and I forgot Rand (is this Rand? there are like a million Miller bros. and all their names start with R) Miller, as Atrus from the Myst games... my inappropriate older-guy Giles-like crush. It partly has to do with the awesome costumes he wears as Atrus. I can't help it, he's all intellectual and creative at the same time. *whimper*
Wait, we can't talk about noses without mentioning Rave's most deeply ingrained girlcrush:
Dude, that profile.
And to REALLY prove that I am not even kidding about the nose thing, observe how it even applies to anime characters:
And... Alan Cumming can join the party because he's awesome. Also his nose is really narrow, but damn is it long. And also kinda broken-looking, which I also like.
So the Asians don't feel left out... he doesn't really fit the nose M.O., but Daniel Dae Kim is quite pleasant eyecandy nonetheless.
Okay, and now for a thoroughly gratuitous picspam of, last but not least, my current mild actor/character obsession... Michael Emerson as master manipulator Ben Linus on LOST.
A) He does indeed have an enormous nose. Also, he cleans up and does artsy well.
B) He straight-up looks and sounds like he would be a really cool guy to know and be friends with. He seems pretty chill, not big on fame, a fan of reading, comedy stage acting, and calling his mother when he gets nominated for an Emmy. D'awwwww. Also amused if a little bewildered when random people come up and are like, "OMG I hate you! You're awesome!"
C) And, um... if Michael Emerson cleans up well, Ben Linus bruises up well. Like. Um. I have this thing for battered villains. Or battered... any character that I like. Um.
Look, the gratuitous crucifixion symbolism while the survivors question him as "Henry Gale"!
AND THE CREEPIEST SMILE EVER. This is the "I've just explained in graphic detail how I could easily betray, ambush and horribly kill you all... you know, if I were evil. Wouldn't that be clever of me? Haha. *UNASSUMING SMILE OF YOU-DON'T-KNOW-I-KILLED-MY-FATHER-WITH-NERVE-GAS-AND-WATCHED-HIM-DIE EVILNESS*"
And possibly even creepier staring than smiling. Wiiiiiide eyes. You can almost always see white all the way around the irises of his eyes, which gives him that perfect slightly-more-insane-than-earnest look.
He's one of those characters that I can really sink my character-analyzing teeth into because he's full of such extremes of intensity, cocooned in this shell of meekness. And his soft-spoken outward persona is so obviously his own construct, but it's so thoroughly maintained that it's like The Prestige, the story of the magician who maintains a major lie for every waking moment of his life so that his greatest illusion will appear real. (He acts like a doddering old man ALL THE TIME, so that no one will question his bowed legs; he keeps a full goldfish bowl between his legs so he can make it "magically" appear on a low table during his show.) Ben is this seething, compacted mass of fermented-sour pain -- both physically and mentally, as is sort of symbolically revealed with his tumor (which also causes numbness in his hands). There's just this horror in the notion that he was already in so much pain when he was captured, and then tortured by people who didn't know. Did he have a death wish, or is be beyond death wishes? I think he wants to live (or at least doesn't want to die) with the same kind of maniacal fervor with which he needs to manipulate everyone and everything around him. I can't imagine him ever being as calm on the inside as he is outwardly. I should do a whole ramble-speculation-post about Ben, the symbolism around him (Wizard of Oz/Man Behind the Curtain and Alice In Wonderland/White Rabbit references especially, although I'm sure other people have already picked that nit to death), the thrill of fear and discord that the idea of his vulnerability raises. It's so strange to see him lying down. You almost never do. Once, he's lying down in his cell at the Swan and reading a book. He sits up the moment someone else enters the room. But then the next time he isn't being active, active, active is when he lies facedown on the operating table and murmurs "I'm ready" to himself -- obviously not ready. I think that's the only time we see him asleep, too (up to mid-season 3 anyway, which is where I am right now in catching up). Although even then he wakes up halfway through the surgery and doesn't even waste a breath on shock; he just immediately starts giving orders, making deals, manipulating people until everything falls back into exactly the place he wants it to be. Ben effectively defuses Jack's sabotage while still on the freaking table, back flayed open, kidney bleeding out. I mean. Seriously. That guy is crazy. Crazy awesome.
He's just a brilliant character, brilliantly played, and he so should have gotten that Emmy.
God, must sleep now. I have to get up and paint sets at the theatre in the morning. Boo!
-rave