Be careful what you wish for
My cat is very strange sometimes.
I wake up at 4am. The sun's come up and the birds are yelling their fucking heads off outside. I go to the bathroom and pass my cat on the way. I tell him, rather grouchily, to 'go and sort out those fucking birds outside'.
He gives me A Look.
He goes.
5am. I wake up again. The cat is bouncing around happily and yammering like so "Mrrrrup! Mayapap! Mgrrr!"
There is a large grey blur on the floor. I put on my glasses. It's a pigeon. Somehow the bastard went out and caught me a whole sodding wood pigeon. And now he wants me to deal with it. Groggily, I thanks him for the wonderful present, and get the pigeon down into the outside bin with use of kitchen roll, a dustpan, and rubber gloves.
Ew.
I wake up at 4am. The sun's come up and the birds are yelling their fucking heads off outside. I go to the bathroom and pass my cat on the way. I tell him, rather grouchily, to 'go and sort out those fucking birds outside'.
He gives me A Look.
He goes.
5am. I wake up again. The cat is bouncing around happily and yammering like so "Mrrrrup! Mayapap! Mgrrr!"
There is a large grey blur on the floor. I put on my glasses. It's a pigeon. Somehow the bastard went out and caught me a whole sodding wood pigeon. And now he wants me to deal with it. Groggily, I thanks him for the wonderful present, and get the pigeon down into the outside bin with use of kitchen roll, a dustpan, and rubber gloves.
Ew.