The Secrets We Dare Not Keep-continued
Those that know my stories well will probably recognize some memories from a previous story. They are in an edited version to fit this situation. Please see chapters 1 and 2 first!chapter 3 Snape defeated
Harry awoke in Ron's bed with Lily stirring beside him. A sleepy Mrs. Weasley
poked her head in.
"Oh good, you're awake. I can't pretend you didn't give us a bit of a scare."
Harry asked, "What happened?"
Molly replied, "I think you were just worn out from the birth. You've been asleep about six hours."
She carefully picked up the now wide-awake baby. "She's a little one, but you're not that big yourself." Lily started fussing.
"Oh, and look at the way she's rooting around. She's very hungry." She handed the baby back to Harry, who fumbled a little at getting the baby to her breakfast.
"I'll just go get you some breakfast."
Harry felt very lucky. Considering what he had been through, he felt well and his body was already returning to its original male form. The next month went by in a blur. Harry wasn't expected to do anything except breastfeed and occasionally change a dirty nappy. Harry felt somewhat left out with everyone preparing for a new year at Hogwarts, but he decided that he would start taking correspondence courses later. None of that mattered now. He was returning to Grimmauld Place to a large empty home, where he would probably have to spend every waking moment cleaning and getting a room set up for the baby. Why had he not thought about this stuff earlier?
Soon, the end of August came, and Harry went to his new home on Grimmauld Place with his daughter, Lily. He was surprised to be greeted not by the screeching of a portrait, but by Dobby.
"Oh, what a beautiful little girl!" Dobby exclaimed.
"Thanks, Dobby. Not to be rude or anything, but why are you here?"
"Professor Dumbledore is sending Dobby to help prepare the house for the baby, and to stay longer if Harry Potter wishes. If you is wanting Dobby to stay, I is not asking for paying from you."
"I would gladly pay you. If I didn't, Hermione would never forgive me. Would you be insulted if I offered five Galleons a week?"
Dobby replied with a slight shriek that Harry took to mean "yes".
"How about two?"
"Dobby is wanting one Galleon and eleven Sickles, not a Knut more."
Harry stifled a giggle and said, "Alright then, will you consider any time off?"
"Dobby might be considering a couple days a month after the house is looking right."
"Well, Dobby, you have yourself a deal." With that, Harry held out his hand to shake Dobby's. Dobby immediately went into loud sobs of gratitude, and wailing about never having his hand shaken before.
"Oh, please, don't wake the baby. I'm sorry."
"Master is too kind to Dobby."
"Please, call me Harry, or 'hey stupid git', anything but 'Master'."
Dobby said cheerfully, "Harry is wanting to see the baby's room?"
Harry looked stunned for a moment before replying, "Yes, I hope you didn't go to too much trouble."
They went up the stairs to a room Harry had not seen before. When they entered, Harry saw that it was a perfect shade of pale purple, with fluffy clouds rotating serenely on the ceiling. In the center was a large wooden crib, and on the far wall was a matching dresser with cloth diapers stacked neatly on top.
"What is all this?" Harry asked in amazement.
"Professor Dumbledore is sending the baby crib. Professor McGonagall is sending the dresser, and Professor Flitwick is sending diapers and clothes. Dobby is decorating the room himself."
"Thank you!" Harry laid Lily down in the crib.
Dobby snapped his fingers and a pot of tea and a plate of sandwiches appeared. Harry ate and then went to the room next door and rested.
The following morning Pigwigeon arrived with a letter from Ron.
Dear Harry,
I hope all's well with you and Lily. It's just not the same without you. Well, for one thing, Hermione wasn't snogging me in the common room when you were around, not that I'm complaining about that.
Weirdest thing though. Snape wasn't there. You know how we used to hope he'd come down with some awful disease? Well, rumor has it that's what happened. I sort of feel sorry for the poor bloke.
You should talk to Dumbledore about coming back. I'm sure he'd help you if you asked.
Ron
Harry briefly thought about Snape. If he was sick, he would probably get better soon. In terms of wizard years, he was still quite young. Perhaps he wasn't sick at all. Perhaps, he was on some mission for the Order and would return to Hogwarts later. Harry wrote a brief reply to Ron, then went to feed Lily again, which seemed to be all he was getting done these days.
Late the following evening, a knock came at the door. Harry opened the door to find Dumbledore in royal purple robes and a black traveling cloak.
"Come in, sir," Harry said with a slight hint of shock.
"Hello, Harry. I had so many owls flying in different directions today that I neglected to send one to you to let you know I would be coming." He looked down at the baby in Harry's arms and added in a softer tone, "Hello, Lily."
After a few seconds of admiring Lily, Dumbledore asked, "Would it be quite all right if we sat and had a bit of a chat about a mater of great importance?"
"Sure," Harry replied, still wondering why someone who had so much to do would be visiting him.
Dobby already had tea waiting for them in the living room. That sat down and Lily began to cry. Harry blushed slightly.
"Um, she wants me to feed her, do you mind?"
Dumbledore simply smiled at the squirming, fussy baby and said, "Not at all. I was once a baby myself you know. Although I don't quite remember, I'm reasonably certain I didn't enjoy waiting for dinner."
Harry blushed slightly as he pulled a blanket over them and got Lily to her food.
Dumbledore took a sip of tea before speaking again, this time, in a much more serious tone.
"As I am sure you have already heard, Professor Snape is not well, not well at all."
Harry simply nodded in reply.
"He has a rare disease known in the magical community as the 'Blue Death'. It is not entirely understood why some people are able to do magic and others are not, but it is thought that magic is somehow part of the complex set of hormones that control everything from our heartbeat to our thoughts and feelings. It seems that those who are magical cannot live without whatever allows them to do magic. The immune system of someone suffering from the 'Blue Death' attacks whatever part of the body produces magic. After this loss of magic, all other hormones stop being produced, and eventually, the poor soul's heart just stops beating."
"Can't anything be done?"
"Well, the only known treatment is the frequent transfer of a small amount of magic from an immediate relative, such as a parent, sibling, or child."
"Does Snape have any parents or siblings?"
"No, but he has a daughter." With this comment, Dumbledore smiled warmly at Lily, who was now finished nursing and lay fast asleep in Harry's lap. "You know I wouldn't consider anything which could harm her in any way. Since she is so young, the transfer would be slow, perhaps taking several hours at first, allowing plenty of time for her magic to recover. If you would consider coming back to Hogwarts, it could soon be arranged so that Lily need only stay with Snape while you are in class.
"Leave her with Snape! You've got to be joking!"
"I know it is a lot to ask of you when you have already been through so much, but please give Professor Snape a chance. His loyalty is the same as yours. He has proven he would risk death for me, and I believe he would go so far as to kill me if I asked it of him, which coming from him means a great deal more. Think about it, Harry, but don't take too long. I don't know how long he has left."
Harry barely slept that night. He kept wondering how Snape would react to Lily. Would he hate her as he hated Harry? Even worse, what if he liked her? Would Harry have to share his legal right to be her parent, or could Snape possibly take her away from him? That was the question that truly terrified him, but he ultimately decided that no court would give a child to a Death Eater, even a reformed one.
The following day, Harry packed their things and told Dobby that he was returning to Hogwarts for his final year of school. Dobby seemed happy at this news and insisted that he could help Harry and still help out the House Elves at Hogwart's. Harry sent Hedwig with a note to Dumbledore asking what fireplace at Hogwarts he could Floo to, since he didn't feel safe Apparating with Lily.
An owl came that afternoon with a note from Dumbledore that said to Floo to his office at 8PM, and that he had already sent Hedwig to the school owlery. He decided that he would just write to Flourish and Blotts and order his schoolbooks by owl post later. There would only be four as he was only continuing Transfiguration, Charms, Herbology, and Potions.
At precisely 8pm, Harry threw some powder into the Floo. He scooted his trunk with nearly all of his belongings carefully into the green flames. His backpack was full of baby clothes and diapers. Lily was asleep in her sling, and Harry kissed her forehead. He quickly stepped into the flames and with one hand on his trunk and the other on Lily, then he said clearly, "Dumbledore's Office".
Dumbledore sat waiting for them when they arrived. He spoke in a grave and hurried tone, which Harry had never heard from him before. "We must go to the dungeon quickly. You and Lily will stay there tonight, and Professor McGonagall will be bringing your time table early tomorrow morning."
Harry almost protested, but knew he had nothing to say to stop this. Snape was a terrible teacher and, perhaps, even a terrible man, but he did not deserve to die like this. Dumbledore charmed Harry's trunk to follow them as they hurried down to the dungeon.
They arrived at the door Harry recognized as Snape's office, a place of ugly memories for Harry. Dumbledore pointed his wand at the lock, and the door swung open. They went to the back of the room where there was a door Harry had not remembered being there before. Dumbledore pressed his hand to this door and it opened without a sound.
The man lying on the bed was a ghostly white with a hint of blue on his thin lips. His eyes barely fluttered as Dumbledore said, "Good evening, Severus. I have someone here you ought to meet."
Harry gently moved a sleeping Lily from her sling onto the bed near Snape. Dumbledore said a soft incantation that Harry could not understand.
Dumbledore pointed to the minuscule white sparks coming from Lily. He explained that these were the tiny bits of magic Severus lacked. Lily would produce them in countless numbers throughout her life. At best, Snape would soon start making most of what of he needed on his own. At worst, he would need daily transfusions from Lily. Dumbledore then conjured a cot for Harry next to the bed.
He pointed to the wall of books on the other side of the room and said, "He will not wake until sometime tomorrow. Feel free to read anything which catches your eye. Goodnight, Harry."
Harry walked over to the bookshelf. He had never been an avid reader like Hermione, but he was not going to turn down a chance to read books which he would otherwise not have access to. There were many uninteresting volumes on potions, and he soon realized that Snape would have left his forbidden books at home rather than bring them here to arouse suspicion. 'No wonder why Dumbledore gave me free access.' Harry thought to himself.
Then he saw something which did catch his eye. It was called Legillimency for the Solitary Learner.
It opened with this sentence:
While it is generally preferable to study Legillimency under an experienced Legillimens, this book provides sufficient instruction for the gifted student to learn Legillimency.
Harry had shown no gift for Occlumency because he had found his emotions too difficult to control; however, he wondered if Legillimency required some other talent, one which he might already possess without knowing.
Harry was over halfway through the book, when Lily stirred. He took off his shirt (He had found that this was by far the easiest way to avoid getting milk on it.), gently picked her up, and laid down on the cot to nurse her. If he looked closely, he could see a few very tiny white sparks flowing from her to Snape. There were fewer than before, so Harry knew the transfer was slowing down and would probably stop before morning. Lily seemed energetic and her eyes sparkled. If Dumbledore's word had not been enough, this was further proof that Lily had not been harmed by the transfer. Harry fell asleep with her lying on his chest.
A knock at the door woke Harry in the morning. Harry carefully moved Lily, grabbed his shirt, and went to the door with Lily cradled in his arm. As expected, Professor McGonagall was there with Harry's time table.
"Glad you decided to return." Looking at the pale figure in the bed, she added, "Not a moment too soon I think. I think he will be alright thanks to little Lily here."
She looked at Lily who had started to squirm and fuss.
"She is beautiful, just like her namesake. Well, you'd best go upstairs to your new quarters and get changed for breakfast and your morning class. It's the topmost room in Gryffindor Tower, usually reserved for visiting dignitaries. The password is 'baby blessings'. Dobby is in the kitchen, he will come to watch Lily whenever you ask, but, seeing as I have no early class this morning, I would be happy to watch her for a bit this morning."
"Thank you, Professor," Harry replied, "I'll stop by your office as soon as I've given Lily her-um-breakfast."
"I'll be looking forward to it." In her usual swish of tartan, she was gone again.
As much as Harry wanted to leave Snape's dungeon chambers, the thought of everyone watching him as he walked through the hallways with a screaming baby kept him from it. He took his shirt off again and sat down in a large armchair in the corner to feed Lily. Her tiny gulps and hiccups filled the quiet room.
Then a man's deep voice yelled, "Poppy, you infernal woman, I told you to leave me alone!"
Snape sat up slowly with his hand on his head. His eyes looked around the room until they fixed on Harry and Lily.
"What are you doing here! Come to think of it, what am I doing here? I should be dead. I was in the staff room alone when I collapsed. Tell me what happened!"
"Lily saved your life! That's what happened!"
"Oh, yes, the staff room was all buzzing with talk of Lily. She couldn't save me. For that she would have to be --"
"Yeah, your daughter."
"Don't be ridiculous, Potter."
"It was the hex Malfoy put on me. He used Inspirum Gravada, and then you took points from Gryffindor. If you don't believe me, look at her. Look at her eyes."
Harry carried Lily over to the bed so that Snape could see her, but Snape was not looking into her eyes. He was looking into Harry's. Memories, which was not his own came into Harry's mind:
A very little boy with dark hair hid under a blanket. A loud stomping sound came into the room, and the little boy held his breath. Then a large hand threw the cover off of the boy. He was picked up and thrown on the floor outside the closet. He stared blankly at the dragon on the poster on his wall as the hand hit him again and again. He saw an eleven year old version of Snape close his eyes as he ran onto platform 9¾ for the first time. He saw this young Snape get on the Hogwart’s Express and be shooed out of a compartment where some young boys were sitting. He saw him go into a compartment with a little girl. He recognized this girl, her hair was auburn and she had bright green eyes. They were exactly like his eyes. Harry started to try to yell “wait“, but he was in another memory. This time he immediately recognized his mother. She was lying on a green-curtained, four-poster bed with a Snape that looked to be about seventeen, and they were kissing passionately. She took off Snape's already unbuttoned shirt. The bright black Dark Mark gleamed on his left arm. She pulled away, smacked him hard across the jaw, and ran from the room. This memory blurred into yet another. A slightly older and very careworn Snape was lying in a bed in the hospital wing at Hogwarts, and Dumbledore was standing at the foot of the bed.
Snape said weakly, “What am I doing here? I should be dead.”
Dumbledore nodded and smiled slightly as he said, “One would think that after drinking such a deadly potion.”
The Snape in the memory put his head in his hands and started to cry. “It’s all my fault. Lily is dead. The only one I will ever love is dead. I can’t go on living knowing I caused her death.”
Harry realized that he had seen Snape's memories for a second time. This time, the memories had been more detailed.
Harry awoke in Ron's bed with Lily stirring beside him. A sleepy Mrs. Weasley
poked her head in.
"Oh good, you're awake. I can't pretend you didn't give us a bit of a scare."
Harry asked, "What happened?"
Molly replied, "I think you were just worn out from the birth. You've been asleep about six hours."
She carefully picked up the now wide-awake baby. "She's a little one, but you're not that big yourself." Lily started fussing.
"Oh, and look at the way she's rooting around. She's very hungry." She handed the baby back to Harry, who fumbled a little at getting the baby to her breakfast.
"I'll just go get you some breakfast."
Harry felt very lucky. Considering what he had been through, he felt well and his body was already returning to its original male form. The next month went by in a blur. Harry wasn't expected to do anything except breastfeed and occasionally change a dirty nappy. Harry felt somewhat left out with everyone preparing for a new year at Hogwarts, but he decided that he would start taking correspondence courses later. None of that mattered now. He was returning to Grimmauld Place to a large empty home, where he would probably have to spend every waking moment cleaning and getting a room set up for the baby. Why had he not thought about this stuff earlier?
Soon, the end of August came, and Harry went to his new home on Grimmauld Place with his daughter, Lily. He was surprised to be greeted not by the screeching of a portrait, but by Dobby.
"Oh, what a beautiful little girl!" Dobby exclaimed.
"Thanks, Dobby. Not to be rude or anything, but why are you here?"
"Professor Dumbledore is sending Dobby to help prepare the house for the baby, and to stay longer if Harry Potter wishes. If you is wanting Dobby to stay, I is not asking for paying from you."
"I would gladly pay you. If I didn't, Hermione would never forgive me. Would you be insulted if I offered five Galleons a week?"
Dobby replied with a slight shriek that Harry took to mean "yes".
"How about two?"
"Dobby is wanting one Galleon and eleven Sickles, not a Knut more."
Harry stifled a giggle and said, "Alright then, will you consider any time off?"
"Dobby might be considering a couple days a month after the house is looking right."
"Well, Dobby, you have yourself a deal." With that, Harry held out his hand to shake Dobby's. Dobby immediately went into loud sobs of gratitude, and wailing about never having his hand shaken before.
"Oh, please, don't wake the baby. I'm sorry."
"Master is too kind to Dobby."
"Please, call me Harry, or 'hey stupid git', anything but 'Master'."
Dobby said cheerfully, "Harry is wanting to see the baby's room?"
Harry looked stunned for a moment before replying, "Yes, I hope you didn't go to too much trouble."
They went up the stairs to a room Harry had not seen before. When they entered, Harry saw that it was a perfect shade of pale purple, with fluffy clouds rotating serenely on the ceiling. In the center was a large wooden crib, and on the far wall was a matching dresser with cloth diapers stacked neatly on top.
"What is all this?" Harry asked in amazement.
"Professor Dumbledore is sending the baby crib. Professor McGonagall is sending the dresser, and Professor Flitwick is sending diapers and clothes. Dobby is decorating the room himself."
"Thank you!" Harry laid Lily down in the crib.
Dobby snapped his fingers and a pot of tea and a plate of sandwiches appeared. Harry ate and then went to the room next door and rested.
The following morning Pigwigeon arrived with a letter from Ron.
Dear Harry,
I hope all's well with you and Lily. It's just not the same without you. Well, for one thing, Hermione wasn't snogging me in the common room when you were around, not that I'm complaining about that.
Weirdest thing though. Snape wasn't there. You know how we used to hope he'd come down with some awful disease? Well, rumor has it that's what happened. I sort of feel sorry for the poor bloke.
You should talk to Dumbledore about coming back. I'm sure he'd help you if you asked.
Ron
Harry briefly thought about Snape. If he was sick, he would probably get better soon. In terms of wizard years, he was still quite young. Perhaps he wasn't sick at all. Perhaps, he was on some mission for the Order and would return to Hogwarts later. Harry wrote a brief reply to Ron, then went to feed Lily again, which seemed to be all he was getting done these days.
Late the following evening, a knock came at the door. Harry opened the door to find Dumbledore in royal purple robes and a black traveling cloak.
"Come in, sir," Harry said with a slight hint of shock.
"Hello, Harry. I had so many owls flying in different directions today that I neglected to send one to you to let you know I would be coming." He looked down at the baby in Harry's arms and added in a softer tone, "Hello, Lily."
After a few seconds of admiring Lily, Dumbledore asked, "Would it be quite all right if we sat and had a bit of a chat about a mater of great importance?"
"Sure," Harry replied, still wondering why someone who had so much to do would be visiting him.
Dobby already had tea waiting for them in the living room. That sat down and Lily began to cry. Harry blushed slightly.
"Um, she wants me to feed her, do you mind?"
Dumbledore simply smiled at the squirming, fussy baby and said, "Not at all. I was once a baby myself you know. Although I don't quite remember, I'm reasonably certain I didn't enjoy waiting for dinner."
Harry blushed slightly as he pulled a blanket over them and got Lily to her food.
Dumbledore took a sip of tea before speaking again, this time, in a much more serious tone.
"As I am sure you have already heard, Professor Snape is not well, not well at all."
Harry simply nodded in reply.
"He has a rare disease known in the magical community as the 'Blue Death'. It is not entirely understood why some people are able to do magic and others are not, but it is thought that magic is somehow part of the complex set of hormones that control everything from our heartbeat to our thoughts and feelings. It seems that those who are magical cannot live without whatever allows them to do magic. The immune system of someone suffering from the 'Blue Death' attacks whatever part of the body produces magic. After this loss of magic, all other hormones stop being produced, and eventually, the poor soul's heart just stops beating."
"Can't anything be done?"
"Well, the only known treatment is the frequent transfer of a small amount of magic from an immediate relative, such as a parent, sibling, or child."
"Does Snape have any parents or siblings?"
"No, but he has a daughter." With this comment, Dumbledore smiled warmly at Lily, who was now finished nursing and lay fast asleep in Harry's lap. "You know I wouldn't consider anything which could harm her in any way. Since she is so young, the transfer would be slow, perhaps taking several hours at first, allowing plenty of time for her magic to recover. If you would consider coming back to Hogwarts, it could soon be arranged so that Lily need only stay with Snape while you are in class.
"Leave her with Snape! You've got to be joking!"
"I know it is a lot to ask of you when you have already been through so much, but please give Professor Snape a chance. His loyalty is the same as yours. He has proven he would risk death for me, and I believe he would go so far as to kill me if I asked it of him, which coming from him means a great deal more. Think about it, Harry, but don't take too long. I don't know how long he has left."
Harry barely slept that night. He kept wondering how Snape would react to Lily. Would he hate her as he hated Harry? Even worse, what if he liked her? Would Harry have to share his legal right to be her parent, or could Snape possibly take her away from him? That was the question that truly terrified him, but he ultimately decided that no court would give a child to a Death Eater, even a reformed one.
The following day, Harry packed their things and told Dobby that he was returning to Hogwarts for his final year of school. Dobby seemed happy at this news and insisted that he could help Harry and still help out the House Elves at Hogwart's. Harry sent Hedwig with a note to Dumbledore asking what fireplace at Hogwarts he could Floo to, since he didn't feel safe Apparating with Lily.
An owl came that afternoon with a note from Dumbledore that said to Floo to his office at 8PM, and that he had already sent Hedwig to the school owlery. He decided that he would just write to Flourish and Blotts and order his schoolbooks by owl post later. There would only be four as he was only continuing Transfiguration, Charms, Herbology, and Potions.
At precisely 8pm, Harry threw some powder into the Floo. He scooted his trunk with nearly all of his belongings carefully into the green flames. His backpack was full of baby clothes and diapers. Lily was asleep in her sling, and Harry kissed her forehead. He quickly stepped into the flames and with one hand on his trunk and the other on Lily, then he said clearly, "Dumbledore's Office".
Dumbledore sat waiting for them when they arrived. He spoke in a grave and hurried tone, which Harry had never heard from him before. "We must go to the dungeon quickly. You and Lily will stay there tonight, and Professor McGonagall will be bringing your time table early tomorrow morning."
Harry almost protested, but knew he had nothing to say to stop this. Snape was a terrible teacher and, perhaps, even a terrible man, but he did not deserve to die like this. Dumbledore charmed Harry's trunk to follow them as they hurried down to the dungeon.
They arrived at the door Harry recognized as Snape's office, a place of ugly memories for Harry. Dumbledore pointed his wand at the lock, and the door swung open. They went to the back of the room where there was a door Harry had not remembered being there before. Dumbledore pressed his hand to this door and it opened without a sound.
The man lying on the bed was a ghostly white with a hint of blue on his thin lips. His eyes barely fluttered as Dumbledore said, "Good evening, Severus. I have someone here you ought to meet."
Harry gently moved a sleeping Lily from her sling onto the bed near Snape. Dumbledore said a soft incantation that Harry could not understand.
Dumbledore pointed to the minuscule white sparks coming from Lily. He explained that these were the tiny bits of magic Severus lacked. Lily would produce them in countless numbers throughout her life. At best, Snape would soon start making most of what of he needed on his own. At worst, he would need daily transfusions from Lily. Dumbledore then conjured a cot for Harry next to the bed.
He pointed to the wall of books on the other side of the room and said, "He will not wake until sometime tomorrow. Feel free to read anything which catches your eye. Goodnight, Harry."
Harry walked over to the bookshelf. He had never been an avid reader like Hermione, but he was not going to turn down a chance to read books which he would otherwise not have access to. There were many uninteresting volumes on potions, and he soon realized that Snape would have left his forbidden books at home rather than bring them here to arouse suspicion. 'No wonder why Dumbledore gave me free access.' Harry thought to himself.
Then he saw something which did catch his eye. It was called Legillimency for the Solitary Learner.
It opened with this sentence:
While it is generally preferable to study Legillimency under an experienced Legillimens, this book provides sufficient instruction for the gifted student to learn Legillimency.
Harry had shown no gift for Occlumency because he had found his emotions too difficult to control; however, he wondered if Legillimency required some other talent, one which he might already possess without knowing.
Harry was over halfway through the book, when Lily stirred. He took off his shirt (He had found that this was by far the easiest way to avoid getting milk on it.), gently picked her up, and laid down on the cot to nurse her. If he looked closely, he could see a few very tiny white sparks flowing from her to Snape. There were fewer than before, so Harry knew the transfer was slowing down and would probably stop before morning. Lily seemed energetic and her eyes sparkled. If Dumbledore's word had not been enough, this was further proof that Lily had not been harmed by the transfer. Harry fell asleep with her lying on his chest.
A knock at the door woke Harry in the morning. Harry carefully moved Lily, grabbed his shirt, and went to the door with Lily cradled in his arm. As expected, Professor McGonagall was there with Harry's time table.
"Glad you decided to return." Looking at the pale figure in the bed, she added, "Not a moment too soon I think. I think he will be alright thanks to little Lily here."
She looked at Lily who had started to squirm and fuss.
"She is beautiful, just like her namesake. Well, you'd best go upstairs to your new quarters and get changed for breakfast and your morning class. It's the topmost room in Gryffindor Tower, usually reserved for visiting dignitaries. The password is 'baby blessings'. Dobby is in the kitchen, he will come to watch Lily whenever you ask, but, seeing as I have no early class this morning, I would be happy to watch her for a bit this morning."
"Thank you, Professor," Harry replied, "I'll stop by your office as soon as I've given Lily her-um-breakfast."
"I'll be looking forward to it." In her usual swish of tartan, she was gone again.
As much as Harry wanted to leave Snape's dungeon chambers, the thought of everyone watching him as he walked through the hallways with a screaming baby kept him from it. He took his shirt off again and sat down in a large armchair in the corner to feed Lily. Her tiny gulps and hiccups filled the quiet room.
Then a man's deep voice yelled, "Poppy, you infernal woman, I told you to leave me alone!"
Snape sat up slowly with his hand on his head. His eyes looked around the room until they fixed on Harry and Lily.
"What are you doing here! Come to think of it, what am I doing here? I should be dead. I was in the staff room alone when I collapsed. Tell me what happened!"
"Lily saved your life! That's what happened!"
"Oh, yes, the staff room was all buzzing with talk of Lily. She couldn't save me. For that she would have to be --"
"Yeah, your daughter."
"Don't be ridiculous, Potter."
"It was the hex Malfoy put on me. He used Inspirum Gravada, and then you took points from Gryffindor. If you don't believe me, look at her. Look at her eyes."
Harry carried Lily over to the bed so that Snape could see her, but Snape was not looking into her eyes. He was looking into Harry's. Memories, which was not his own came into Harry's mind:
A very little boy with dark hair hid under a blanket. A loud stomping sound came into the room, and the little boy held his breath. Then a large hand threw the cover off of the boy. He was picked up and thrown on the floor outside the closet. He stared blankly at the dragon on the poster on his wall as the hand hit him again and again. He saw an eleven year old version of Snape close his eyes as he ran onto platform 9¾ for the first time. He saw this young Snape get on the Hogwart’s Express and be shooed out of a compartment where some young boys were sitting. He saw him go into a compartment with a little girl. He recognized this girl, her hair was auburn and she had bright green eyes. They were exactly like his eyes. Harry started to try to yell “wait“, but he was in another memory. This time he immediately recognized his mother. She was lying on a green-curtained, four-poster bed with a Snape that looked to be about seventeen, and they were kissing passionately. She took off Snape's already unbuttoned shirt. The bright black Dark Mark gleamed on his left arm. She pulled away, smacked him hard across the jaw, and ran from the room. This memory blurred into yet another. A slightly older and very careworn Snape was lying in a bed in the hospital wing at Hogwarts, and Dumbledore was standing at the foot of the bed.
Snape said weakly, “What am I doing here? I should be dead.”
Dumbledore nodded and smiled slightly as he said, “One would think that after drinking such a deadly potion.”
The Snape in the memory put his head in his hands and started to cry. “It’s all my fault. Lily is dead. The only one I will ever love is dead. I can’t go on living knowing I caused her death.”
Harry realized that he had seen Snape's memories for a second time. This time, the memories had been more detailed.