Don't want to do seminarsohpattyNovember 3 2006, 01:59:16 UTC
Remember that time that we watched Drugstore Cowboy and decided that it would be a good idea to raid pharmacies to get dilaudid and other synthetic opiates, which we could then sell on the black market for fun and profit? You were unfamiliar with the mechanics of proper firearm safety, being English, and you accidentally shot in the face a little old lady who was working as a pharmacist on our first "hit". Blood and bits of skull went everywhere, and although it's likely that she died immediately, she didn't fall down immediately, which was somewhat disturbing. When she did fall, she shuddered and you just stood there gawking at the body, horrified at what you had done. I proceeded to grab as much dilaudid as could be easily carried, and bodily hauled you out of the pharmacy to the getaway car, which was a 1969 Chevrolet Nova.
You went into kind of a trance at this point, rocking back and forth and saying over and over, "Oh man, I fuckin shot her, I can't believe I fuckin' shot her." I was in a bit of a rush because I hadn't intended that our escapade would lead to the (albeit accidental) slaughter of a little old lady, but neither did I intend to do hard time in prison- orange is so not my color. I drove and when we reached an area that was sufficiently deserted, I pulled the car over and slapped you to bring you out of your hysteria. Unfortunately, this just heightened your distress and you shakily pointed your gun in my face and told me that you'd kill me if I looked at you again. I slapped the gun out of your hands and we had a shouting match on a road flanked by corn fields. Eventually we both calmed down and buried your firearm in the cornfield, so that we wouldn't be in possession of a murder weapon.
After that we turned the car around and drove to DisneyWorld. I ate some nachos right before we got on the Space Mountain ride, and I threw up. It flew behind us and got all over some 11-year-old girls that were sitting behind us. We had our picture taken with Mickey mouse and you got a Cinderella snowglobe for your sister in the souvenir shop.
You went into kind of a trance at this point, rocking back and forth and saying over and over, "Oh man, I fuckin shot her, I can't believe I fuckin' shot her." I was in a bit of a rush because I hadn't intended that our escapade would lead to the (albeit accidental) slaughter of a little old lady, but neither did I intend to do hard time in prison- orange is so not my color. I drove and when we reached an area that was sufficiently deserted, I pulled the car over and slapped you to bring you out of your hysteria. Unfortunately, this just heightened your distress and you shakily pointed your gun in my face and told me that you'd kill me if I looked at you again. I slapped the gun out of your hands and we had a shouting match on a road flanked by corn fields. Eventually we both calmed down and buried your firearm in the cornfield, so that we wouldn't be in possession of a murder weapon.
After that we turned the car around and drove to DisneyWorld. I ate some nachos right before we got on the Space Mountain ride, and I threw up. It flew behind us and got all over some 11-year-old girls that were sitting behind us. We had our picture taken with Mickey mouse and you got a Cinderella snowglobe for your sister in the souvenir shop.
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