CAUSE I CAN END THE PLANET IN A HOLOCAUST!!!!
Today is me and Terry's one year anniversary. I couldn't be happier. I'm not a total failure. Those close know what I mean about my poor past decisions:(He has made this last year so um, no word to describe it really. Amazing is about as close as I can get. Mwa baby:)
But is other news, so work. fuck work. I just worked friday 1-10, saturday(running shift at ten mile for the first time) 2-10, sunday 6 am-2pm(1:40), monday 2-10 tuesday 2-10 and then wednesday 2-10pm. today is my first day off in 6 days and thank fucking god for that. I was going insane with all the bitch whoretons bullshit. and WTF is the deal here? I'm a supervisor at ten mile and not at 9 mile? or am i just an all around supervisor? so freakin confusing. I'll have to talk to phil next week or something. But in all reality, I've served my time in bitch whoretons for too long. over a year and fucking hating it. i dont know how kari, mauro, derrick, benita, chrissy, elie everyone else who's been there forever can even freaking stand it. I'm so done with it it's not even funny. I just need money. and until I can find something better, I have to deal. Even though dealing is tough when your drained all the time and your body just aches now. you feel old. I dont know. My back kills worse and worse every day. I'm just exhausted 24/7 and its not fun. even my days off, i have laundry to do, I have a bill to pay, its just theres really never any time to relax besides for sleep. everything else is just stress. aren't I too young to feel this way already? everyday? I sound like my father. only he had a hard labor job.
Speaking of whom, I still never heard from him. it's been awhile. life is harder without him around to talk to or to go to with my problems. it's almost like i've lost a huge part of me that I can't get back. I would really like to but for some reason can't find what I used to have, I miss him more than anything. I just wanna see him. tell him everything he's missed. hug him. kiss him. I love him so much. but where is he? why can't he call me? why can't he text, email, anything me. why do I have to keep the road to communication open, why do I have to have to always call if I wan to talk? does that just mean that he doesn't want to talk to me? is that how it goes? I would like him to call me to show me that he still cares about me. to show he wants to talk to me. I want him to want to call me to talk to me to want to hear from me. to want to see me. I miss him so much that its literally killing me. I'm tired of all of this. of everything.
work, stress, terry, dad, mom, life......I'm done...all the stress and pain of everything. I no longer can absorb all of this anymore. but I dont know what to do. I'm lost in obscurity. someone help me. anyone help me. please:'(
But is other news, so work. fuck work. I just worked friday 1-10, saturday(running shift at ten mile for the first time) 2-10, sunday 6 am-2pm(1:40), monday 2-10 tuesday 2-10 and then wednesday 2-10pm. today is my first day off in 6 days and thank fucking god for that. I was going insane with all the bitch whoretons bullshit. and WTF is the deal here? I'm a supervisor at ten mile and not at 9 mile? or am i just an all around supervisor? so freakin confusing. I'll have to talk to phil next week or something. But in all reality, I've served my time in bitch whoretons for too long. over a year and fucking hating it. i dont know how kari, mauro, derrick, benita, chrissy, elie everyone else who's been there forever can even freaking stand it. I'm so done with it it's not even funny. I just need money. and until I can find something better, I have to deal. Even though dealing is tough when your drained all the time and your body just aches now. you feel old. I dont know. My back kills worse and worse every day. I'm just exhausted 24/7 and its not fun. even my days off, i have laundry to do, I have a bill to pay, its just theres really never any time to relax besides for sleep. everything else is just stress. aren't I too young to feel this way already? everyday? I sound like my father. only he had a hard labor job.
Speaking of whom, I still never heard from him. it's been awhile. life is harder without him around to talk to or to go to with my problems. it's almost like i've lost a huge part of me that I can't get back. I would really like to but for some reason can't find what I used to have, I miss him more than anything. I just wanna see him. tell him everything he's missed. hug him. kiss him. I love him so much. but where is he? why can't he call me? why can't he text, email, anything me. why do I have to keep the road to communication open, why do I have to have to always call if I wan to talk? does that just mean that he doesn't want to talk to me? is that how it goes? I would like him to call me to show me that he still cares about me. to show he wants to talk to me. I want him to want to call me to talk to me to want to hear from me. to want to see me. I miss him so much that its literally killing me. I'm tired of all of this. of everything.
work, stress, terry, dad, mom, life......I'm done...all the stress and pain of everything. I no longer can absorb all of this anymore. but I dont know what to do. I'm lost in obscurity. someone help me. anyone help me. please:'(