..
One day left until the next new episode of Fairy Tail. I've caught up with the series so far, and I am SO looking forward to the S-Class arc. Gray and Loke teamed up? [ Fanned herself. ] I feel bad that Alzack didn't qualify again this year to participate, and dear Bisca comforting him is so cute.
On a darker note, my family has officially been torn apart. Grandma found out that my Uncle has been mixing Codeine with her Tylenol and was very, very upset over it. Then the next day, Grandma pulls mom away from work to discuss a letter Madeline wrote expressing that their lawyer has advised them to give mom 30 days to move out, or they will move out.
One, mom doesn't have the credit or nearly the amount of income needed to move out in thirty days. Ninety days, maybe, but not thirty. Secondly, they have no authority to tell mom to move out because it's Grandma's house. Thirdly, if -they- leave, Grandma defaults and loses the everything, and we're -all- homeless. Well, except me--I have the income and the credit to go somewhere now, which is why I am moving to Florida. To this day mom never told me where she was, or what she did when she had lost our home. And I'm afraid of that happening again. I woke up to mom and Grandma arguing and I got up and mediated because I said I was going to talk to Grandma anyway.
All she did was patronize me, mock me like a three year old, and stick her fingers in her ears and sing LALALA! She's mad at me because I pointed out that she was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and that her memory wasn't the best. She has a habit of saying, "I KNOW this happened." or, "I don't remember this happening!" And she believes that because she does not remember it, it did not happen at all. Which I can sort of understand, but she does not open herself to the idea that she's getting less and less lucid with her memories--especially ones from before I was born.
She tried to argue with me, that the envelope that had the debit card the bank originally sent to me eight months ago--that Madeline received, opened, and used a personal coaster for her coffee--did not have personal written notes and numbers and reminders on the entire back back side of the envelope. She claimed it wasn't even Madeline or Mike's handwriting. She also claimed it hadn't been eight months. I said grandma, they switched to Mastercard last year, and mailed out new cards for everyone to replace their Visa. I never got mine. I went for months without getting one until I had no choice but to request another one in time for the Cruise. I told her that she had given Madeline my mail by accident--but that doesn't excuse the fact that A) It was addressed to me and they never gave it to me, and B) They actually OPENED mail, addressed TO me, and STILL didn't give it to me at that time. They ASSUMED it was Junk Mail anyway. Madeline even said last night, "Well I could have just thrown it away." You do. Not. Open. Other. People's Mail. PERIOD. You do not THROW away other people's mail. PERIOD. And Grandma by the Grace of God and all things Christian says they did not keep that mail for that long, and believes in their heart that they are HONEST TO GOD CHRISTIANS.
I'm sorry. I'm not Christian, I'm Agnostic. I have tolerance and respect for people and their religions, but I have a long-ass list of things that are not Christian. Say, mixing your mother's medication with a lethal combination of Tylenol, Codeine, and other pain killers and vitamins?! And yet he's forgiven because he is her son and that is just how he'll always be and she has to live with that. Whereas, she can't live with mom getting up and leaving the room any time either one of them come into the house. There's not bitching. There's no snide remarks. There's no deliberate attempt to start something. She just gets up, and walks back into her room and stays there. And I can see how that makes them feel unwelcome, but if they stop and consider the past Mike has had with mom--and Madeline damn well knows because Maryland has told her--told MADELINE, and not Grandma, who claims none of it ever happened--and how uncomfortable and pointless it is to be around them.
They don't offer to buy anything for grandma out of the kindness of their heart, or just because they can. They expect, and WAIT for Grandma to give them money. Grandma says, "Well they weren't making a lot of money at the time." HE HAS THREE MOTORCYCLES, A STREET BIKE, AND A DIRT BIKE. AND HE CAN'T AFFORD TO BUY GROCERIES? OR EVEN A LITTLE -SOMETHING- WITHOUT ASKING A MONEY? THEY RUN OFF ON EXPENSIVE, WEEK LONG TRIPS AND VACATIONS BUT THEY DON'T HAVE THE LITTLE MONEY TO BUY AND MAKE DINNER JUST BECAUSE?! ONE excuse after another. I told her flat out I believed so strongly he had Disassociative Personality Disorder that it would not surprise me if he were evaluated and tested strongly for it. There is nothing wrong with him that he cannot fix. He doesn't want to fix anything because he gets away with so much. And Grandma just feels like, he is my son, I will do whatever I must. I told her, I said, "Grandma. He's a grown man. I'm a grown woman, and it's expected of me and most adults my age to strike out on their own. All he does is leech from you. If he doesn't have the money, that's his own fault. He lives in a material world that he cannot logically facilitate. It would not surprise me if he's trying to kill you so that he can seize the property, rent it out, and use the money to facilitate his materialistic habits." And that just opened up a floodgate of fingers-in-the-ear LALALAing.
It's just one of those families that are too far gone, and it's time to leave them behind to their own demise. We held the delicate facade of being a family for a long while. Christmas at Grandma's, Thanksgiving and Halloween at my cousin's--before the divorce. That divorce just...it revealed everything, in the end.
And now, I have to forfeit living with Ariel, to live with mom because I have the credit, and she doesn't. It hurts her feelings to have to rely on me and take me away from my opportunity. And it hurts me too, but this woman has taken care of me my entire life. It has always been just us. If I can get her on her feet, then I'll be okay with giving up this plan. I could just say, "You're on your own, pal!" and go. But I have too much compassion for my mother. Perhaps it's the same compassion Grandma feels for Mike despite everything he's done. I may never know until I become a mother myself. Until then, I have to suck it up.
On a lighter note, I have been doing my best to amend my friendship with Steve. I met him by accident, and had originally planned on yelling at him because of how mean he was to Shenara during their relationship. But there are always two sides of a story, and Shenara is equally at fault. That, and I discovered he was a musician. Guitar, Violin, Piano. He's very good at it, too. Owns his own recording studio and equipment, and he can sing quite well. Music is a weakness for me, but he in particular has an affinity for classic rock--something I fell asleep to growing up. I was raised with Yes, and the Who and Kansas being the lullabies mothers sing to sleepy children. And that on it's own just sort of opened up the door to our friendship. We fell out of contact once, and he disappeared the second time--he was quite angry with me because he felt I did not put enough effort into the friendship. I met him again, and at first I did not tell him who I was, but eventually he seemed okay with finding out. We made amends--argued a little at first, but we came to an understanding. He has a thing for me, that became obvious right away. It's not practical by any means to invest in emotions and time for someone who lives in another country who I may never see. But I enjoy it while it is here.
I am pleased to report that Vanilla is also his favorite ice cream flavor and by default that makes him as equally boring and bland as me. V_v
So far my favorite thing to do is to watch him play. And at night he will play for me until I fall asleep. He's not trying to get together with me. He's not pushing me one way or pulling me another. He's very real with me, and I like that. He's not afraid to be upset with me, or tell me when something bothers him, and I appreciate that assertiveness in him.
In the meantime.
So...about that Stellar Key of Leo/Loke...3.99...[ Quietly pulls out her credit card and stalks away to fuel her obsession. ]
You know--the subtitles changed. For several episodes it was Loki, the next, it's Loke. I'm more partial to Loke, just because it's closer to the Scandinavian spelling. I think they decided to name him Loki because he tricked everyone into thinking he was a normal Human along with the rest of them, when in fact he's the Stellar Spirit Leo. The episode where the group has accidentally switched bodies,--I think Natsu was inside of Loke and he noticed how...weird and different it felt. Tricky-tricky. I also like that Loke does actually look different in his true form than his Humanoid form. Not that he dresses up in a horse suit...or wears a maid outfit, or an mini dress and long stockings made out of wool..or have ridiculous hair braids and snazzy shades to match a flamboyant outfit...he's just...a long-haired guy with a business suit and tie, and the Holder Magic he possesses through the ring he wears. Simplistic, and badass at the same time. Mmmhm. V_v [ Stamped "Otaku" on her forehead. ]
That being the same ring he projected the image of--in big, bright colorful letters--"I <3 LOVE LUCY!"
BUT I AM STILL MAD THAT HE DID NOT LIVE UP TO HIS PROMISE TO COME TO LUCY'S AID WHEN SHE NEEDED HIM AND BLEW HER OFF FOR A DATE. A DATE WITH WHO!? WHO DO YOU DATE IN THE STELLAR WORLD. ARIES?! THAT'S LIKE. SASUKE DATING HINATA. IT'S JUST WRONG. AND I'M GLAD SHE'S GOING TO CHEW YOUR ASS OUT FOR IT LATER. WHICH WILL HAVE TO WAIT BECAUSE THE NEXT EPISODE WONT APPEAR UNTIL TOMORROW.
[ STORMED OFF IN A HUFF. ] THIS WORLD JUST AIN'T RIGHT. D:
On a darker note, my family has officially been torn apart. Grandma found out that my Uncle has been mixing Codeine with her Tylenol and was very, very upset over it. Then the next day, Grandma pulls mom away from work to discuss a letter Madeline wrote expressing that their lawyer has advised them to give mom 30 days to move out, or they will move out.
One, mom doesn't have the credit or nearly the amount of income needed to move out in thirty days. Ninety days, maybe, but not thirty. Secondly, they have no authority to tell mom to move out because it's Grandma's house. Thirdly, if -they- leave, Grandma defaults and loses the everything, and we're -all- homeless. Well, except me--I have the income and the credit to go somewhere now, which is why I am moving to Florida. To this day mom never told me where she was, or what she did when she had lost our home. And I'm afraid of that happening again. I woke up to mom and Grandma arguing and I got up and mediated because I said I was going to talk to Grandma anyway.
All she did was patronize me, mock me like a three year old, and stick her fingers in her ears and sing LALALA! She's mad at me because I pointed out that she was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and that her memory wasn't the best. She has a habit of saying, "I KNOW this happened." or, "I don't remember this happening!" And she believes that because she does not remember it, it did not happen at all. Which I can sort of understand, but she does not open herself to the idea that she's getting less and less lucid with her memories--especially ones from before I was born.
She tried to argue with me, that the envelope that had the debit card the bank originally sent to me eight months ago--that Madeline received, opened, and used a personal coaster for her coffee--did not have personal written notes and numbers and reminders on the entire back back side of the envelope. She claimed it wasn't even Madeline or Mike's handwriting. She also claimed it hadn't been eight months. I said grandma, they switched to Mastercard last year, and mailed out new cards for everyone to replace their Visa. I never got mine. I went for months without getting one until I had no choice but to request another one in time for the Cruise. I told her that she had given Madeline my mail by accident--but that doesn't excuse the fact that A) It was addressed to me and they never gave it to me, and B) They actually OPENED mail, addressed TO me, and STILL didn't give it to me at that time. They ASSUMED it was Junk Mail anyway. Madeline even said last night, "Well I could have just thrown it away." You do. Not. Open. Other. People's Mail. PERIOD. You do not THROW away other people's mail. PERIOD. And Grandma by the Grace of God and all things Christian says they did not keep that mail for that long, and believes in their heart that they are HONEST TO GOD CHRISTIANS.
I'm sorry. I'm not Christian, I'm Agnostic. I have tolerance and respect for people and their religions, but I have a long-ass list of things that are not Christian. Say, mixing your mother's medication with a lethal combination of Tylenol, Codeine, and other pain killers and vitamins?! And yet he's forgiven because he is her son and that is just how he'll always be and she has to live with that. Whereas, she can't live with mom getting up and leaving the room any time either one of them come into the house. There's not bitching. There's no snide remarks. There's no deliberate attempt to start something. She just gets up, and walks back into her room and stays there. And I can see how that makes them feel unwelcome, but if they stop and consider the past Mike has had with mom--and Madeline damn well knows because Maryland has told her--told MADELINE, and not Grandma, who claims none of it ever happened--and how uncomfortable and pointless it is to be around them.
They don't offer to buy anything for grandma out of the kindness of their heart, or just because they can. They expect, and WAIT for Grandma to give them money. Grandma says, "Well they weren't making a lot of money at the time." HE HAS THREE MOTORCYCLES, A STREET BIKE, AND A DIRT BIKE. AND HE CAN'T AFFORD TO BUY GROCERIES? OR EVEN A LITTLE -SOMETHING- WITHOUT ASKING A MONEY? THEY RUN OFF ON EXPENSIVE, WEEK LONG TRIPS AND VACATIONS BUT THEY DON'T HAVE THE LITTLE MONEY TO BUY AND MAKE DINNER JUST BECAUSE?! ONE excuse after another. I told her flat out I believed so strongly he had Disassociative Personality Disorder that it would not surprise me if he were evaluated and tested strongly for it. There is nothing wrong with him that he cannot fix. He doesn't want to fix anything because he gets away with so much. And Grandma just feels like, he is my son, I will do whatever I must. I told her, I said, "Grandma. He's a grown man. I'm a grown woman, and it's expected of me and most adults my age to strike out on their own. All he does is leech from you. If he doesn't have the money, that's his own fault. He lives in a material world that he cannot logically facilitate. It would not surprise me if he's trying to kill you so that he can seize the property, rent it out, and use the money to facilitate his materialistic habits." And that just opened up a floodgate of fingers-in-the-ear LALALAing.
It's just one of those families that are too far gone, and it's time to leave them behind to their own demise. We held the delicate facade of being a family for a long while. Christmas at Grandma's, Thanksgiving and Halloween at my cousin's--before the divorce. That divorce just...it revealed everything, in the end.
And now, I have to forfeit living with Ariel, to live with mom because I have the credit, and she doesn't. It hurts her feelings to have to rely on me and take me away from my opportunity. And it hurts me too, but this woman has taken care of me my entire life. It has always been just us. If I can get her on her feet, then I'll be okay with giving up this plan. I could just say, "You're on your own, pal!" and go. But I have too much compassion for my mother. Perhaps it's the same compassion Grandma feels for Mike despite everything he's done. I may never know until I become a mother myself. Until then, I have to suck it up.
On a lighter note, I have been doing my best to amend my friendship with Steve. I met him by accident, and had originally planned on yelling at him because of how mean he was to Shenara during their relationship. But there are always two sides of a story, and Shenara is equally at fault. That, and I discovered he was a musician. Guitar, Violin, Piano. He's very good at it, too. Owns his own recording studio and equipment, and he can sing quite well. Music is a weakness for me, but he in particular has an affinity for classic rock--something I fell asleep to growing up. I was raised with Yes, and the Who and Kansas being the lullabies mothers sing to sleepy children. And that on it's own just sort of opened up the door to our friendship. We fell out of contact once, and he disappeared the second time--he was quite angry with me because he felt I did not put enough effort into the friendship. I met him again, and at first I did not tell him who I was, but eventually he seemed okay with finding out. We made amends--argued a little at first, but we came to an understanding. He has a thing for me, that became obvious right away. It's not practical by any means to invest in emotions and time for someone who lives in another country who I may never see. But I enjoy it while it is here.
I am pleased to report that Vanilla is also his favorite ice cream flavor and by default that makes him as equally boring and bland as me. V_v
So far my favorite thing to do is to watch him play. And at night he will play for me until I fall asleep. He's not trying to get together with me. He's not pushing me one way or pulling me another. He's very real with me, and I like that. He's not afraid to be upset with me, or tell me when something bothers him, and I appreciate that assertiveness in him.
In the meantime.
So...about that Stellar Key of Leo/Loke...3.99...[ Quietly pulls out her credit card and stalks away to fuel her obsession. ]
You know--the subtitles changed. For several episodes it was Loki, the next, it's Loke. I'm more partial to Loke, just because it's closer to the Scandinavian spelling. I think they decided to name him Loki because he tricked everyone into thinking he was a normal Human along with the rest of them, when in fact he's the Stellar Spirit Leo. The episode where the group has accidentally switched bodies,--I think Natsu was inside of Loke and he noticed how...weird and different it felt. Tricky-tricky. I also like that Loke does actually look different in his true form than his Humanoid form. Not that he dresses up in a horse suit...or wears a maid outfit, or an mini dress and long stockings made out of wool..or have ridiculous hair braids and snazzy shades to match a flamboyant outfit...he's just...a long-haired guy with a business suit and tie, and the Holder Magic he possesses through the ring he wears. Simplistic, and badass at the same time. Mmmhm. V_v [ Stamped "Otaku" on her forehead. ]
That being the same ring he projected the image of--in big, bright colorful letters--"I <3 LOVE LUCY!"
BUT I AM STILL MAD THAT HE DID NOT LIVE UP TO HIS PROMISE TO COME TO LUCY'S AID WHEN SHE NEEDED HIM AND BLEW HER OFF FOR A DATE. A DATE WITH WHO!? WHO DO YOU DATE IN THE STELLAR WORLD. ARIES?! THAT'S LIKE. SASUKE DATING HINATA. IT'S JUST WRONG. AND I'M GLAD SHE'S GOING TO CHEW YOUR ASS OUT FOR IT LATER. WHICH WILL HAVE TO WAIT BECAUSE THE NEXT EPISODE WONT APPEAR UNTIL TOMORROW.
[ STORMED OFF IN A HUFF. ] THIS WORLD JUST AIN'T RIGHT. D: