Did you hear the one about the snowmen?
I'm out with a friend, four drinks in, trying to play air hockey but not doing very well. Hours later and about eight drinks in, I'm attempting to tell a joke. I keep laughing because I keep losing my place. I'm giggling now, drinking water as they don't think I should have any more alcohol. My friend is laughing too, we decide it's time to go home. The next morning I don't remember the joke.
Years later I'm out with some friends at a karaoke bar. I'm trying to tell this girl I just met a joke. It doesn't land, she doesn't laugh, just turns back to the singer. A few hours later I try again, this time it lands and she laughs. I text it to my girlfriend and she sends back a heart. I feel great, happy to come home and call her, talking until I fall asleep.
The next year I go out with friends for an evening of fun. I tell some of them this joke, not correctly but start to laugh halfway through. I miss a line or two and end up almost spilling my drink. I'm giggling, my friends are laughing as well. I'm cute, they tell me. I can't handle my liquor because I don't drink very often, I tell them. I go home, call my girlfriend and tell her the joke. She laughs because I'm not making sense, I'm tired.
There are no more nights out with friends. I stay home and drink now. I call her late, I'm slurring my words, she doesn't want to hear my joke. She wants to sleep, she can hear the desperation in my voice. "I just need you to listen to me, I have a joke, it's fine. I haven't been drinking, I just want to tell you a joke." The phone hangs up, all the rest of the calls go straight to voicemail.
For a good year there are no jokes, there is nothing funny. A year of bottoming out, starting to heal.
Now I skype with my fianceé, exhausted after a long day of work and other activities. I remember a joke that I'd heard and try to tell it. I mix up the punchline, put emphasis on the wrong word. She laughs with me and tells me she loves me.
Two snowmen are standing next to each other in a yard. One says to the other, “Funny, I smell carrots too.”
Years later I'm out with some friends at a karaoke bar. I'm trying to tell this girl I just met a joke. It doesn't land, she doesn't laugh, just turns back to the singer. A few hours later I try again, this time it lands and she laughs. I text it to my girlfriend and she sends back a heart. I feel great, happy to come home and call her, talking until I fall asleep.
The next year I go out with friends for an evening of fun. I tell some of them this joke, not correctly but start to laugh halfway through. I miss a line or two and end up almost spilling my drink. I'm giggling, my friends are laughing as well. I'm cute, they tell me. I can't handle my liquor because I don't drink very often, I tell them. I go home, call my girlfriend and tell her the joke. She laughs because I'm not making sense, I'm tired.
There are no more nights out with friends. I stay home and drink now. I call her late, I'm slurring my words, she doesn't want to hear my joke. She wants to sleep, she can hear the desperation in my voice. "I just need you to listen to me, I have a joke, it's fine. I haven't been drinking, I just want to tell you a joke." The phone hangs up, all the rest of the calls go straight to voicemail.
For a good year there are no jokes, there is nothing funny. A year of bottoming out, starting to heal.
Now I skype with my fianceé, exhausted after a long day of work and other activities. I remember a joke that I'd heard and try to tell it. I mix up the punchline, put emphasis on the wrong word. She laughs with me and tells me she loves me.
Two snowmen are standing next to each other in a yard. One says to the other, “Funny, I smell carrots too.”