Ok.....There is something wrong with my life :(
I'm sooo bored and the fact that I don't ever get to go any where also makes me more bored. Well I guess I can't say that since I just went to the New Port Aquirium today and got TWO things. But that I guess is a good thing because everything over there cost like ten dollars or more and both of the things are really cute. I got a mood ring with a dolphine on it and a long bead wrap where you wrap it around anything like your neck or wrist or even ankle and it's a pretty black. My mother disapproves of it but she's always like that. It's like she wants me to be a prep without being a prep. So if I get too much pink she complains, if I get any black she says that I need to get brighter colors like.... what do you know PINK!! I'm fucking tired of all the pink! I mean for once, could I get something black without a complaint. Like get this, my parents didn't want me to listen to rap evn cartoon raps that are cute I might add. Well since they sheltered me from it sooo long I decided to listen to it. So now I curse all the time and almost said some of them in front of my mother. I've had my rap cd's in my 3 cd sterio which will turn when done with a cd and went to rap so I had to run to turn it off. I've even thought of going goth, why else would I want to wear black and paint my room black. My parents thought there was something wrong with me since I told them to paint my room black. They were actually going to get me counciling until I said that I was joking and I couldn't believe they would take me seriously. Why can't I have my own life, my mother is stupider than a rock and my father is practically Einsteins own son. It's a living hell over here and I can't do any thing about it. I've even considered suicide, every time I wash the dishes and I start cleaning knives, I will hold them in my hand want to cut myself. I've wantedto hurt myself and the fact that i have to smother my troubles with a smile, one that could be from an actor isn't helping. I know there is an angel watching over me because every time I've gotten close to killing myself, I stopped before I did it. I swear one day something will happen to me, no angel can last that long and one day it wont be able to stop me.