One More Saturday Night
WARNING: Not for those weak of stomach, underage, fundamentalist Christians, or others easily offended.
Have you ever seen a sea turtle lay an egg? It was probably on video footage, but you've seen this slime-covered, egg-shaped object being plopped out of an orifice? Now keep that image in your mind. (BTW the reason the egg-shaped object is egg-shaped is that it's an egg. if anyone's knows a word that means egg-shaped, tell me.)
She's been begging me to take her. We'll call her "Pat" (because that's her real name). "Pat" has been dying to see to see a ping-pong ball show. She tried to convince her boyfriend to take her to one of these go-go bars, and he refused. Well, last night I finally agreed to take her if she was absolutely sure she wanted to see it.
As we walked in, the women on stage were pulling out long (as in several feet long) fluourescent scarves from their...well you know. "Pat" sat in shock, amazement and disbelief as the performers opened bottles, "drank" bottles of water and coke, played horns, blew out birthday candles, shot darts at balloons, and, for lack of a better word, "oozed" ping pong balls out of their...well you know.
"Pat" thought everyone was joking when they told her what the performers really did...she couldn't fathom that these things were actually possible. For most of the show, she did ok...until the egg-cracking.
An older performer, who we'll call the "Whore of Babylon", proceeded to lay eggs, reinsert them, lay them again, reinsert them...for several minutes. This is the sea turtle imagery...imagine it's a woman, not a turtle and you get the picture.
(A Quick Aside for Workers' Rights: I don't mean "whore" in a negative way. I strongly believe it's a tough job that deserves much better labour protections like any other career -- health insurance, protection from police abuse, protection from employee abuse, social security, etc.)
The Babylonian then cracked the eggs and displayed the glass of three egg whites/yolks to the audience. At this point "Pat" had to head to the bathroom to vomit. She'll never be able to eat eggs again. An hour later at the juice bar she had to rush to the bathroom again when the image came back in her head.
Names have not been changed to protect the innocent. "Pat" has asked me not to tell anyone because she so embarrassed that she insisted on going and ended up up-chucking. But since none of you know "Pat", feel free to laugh. If you're disgusted, don't blame me....you were warned.
Have you ever seen a sea turtle lay an egg? It was probably on video footage, but you've seen this slime-covered, egg-shaped object being plopped out of an orifice? Now keep that image in your mind. (BTW the reason the egg-shaped object is egg-shaped is that it's an egg. if anyone's knows a word that means egg-shaped, tell me.)
She's been begging me to take her. We'll call her "Pat" (because that's her real name). "Pat" has been dying to see to see a ping-pong ball show. She tried to convince her boyfriend to take her to one of these go-go bars, and he refused. Well, last night I finally agreed to take her if she was absolutely sure she wanted to see it.
As we walked in, the women on stage were pulling out long (as in several feet long) fluourescent scarves from their...well you know. "Pat" sat in shock, amazement and disbelief as the performers opened bottles, "drank" bottles of water and coke, played horns, blew out birthday candles, shot darts at balloons, and, for lack of a better word, "oozed" ping pong balls out of their...well you know.
"Pat" thought everyone was joking when they told her what the performers really did...she couldn't fathom that these things were actually possible. For most of the show, she did ok...until the egg-cracking.
An older performer, who we'll call the "Whore of Babylon", proceeded to lay eggs, reinsert them, lay them again, reinsert them...for several minutes. This is the sea turtle imagery...imagine it's a woman, not a turtle and you get the picture.
(A Quick Aside for Workers' Rights: I don't mean "whore" in a negative way. I strongly believe it's a tough job that deserves much better labour protections like any other career -- health insurance, protection from police abuse, protection from employee abuse, social security, etc.)
The Babylonian then cracked the eggs and displayed the glass of three egg whites/yolks to the audience. At this point "Pat" had to head to the bathroom to vomit. She'll never be able to eat eggs again. An hour later at the juice bar she had to rush to the bathroom again when the image came back in her head.
Names have not been changed to protect the innocent. "Pat" has asked me not to tell anyone because she so embarrassed that she insisted on going and ended up up-chucking. But since none of you know "Pat", feel free to laugh. If you're disgusted, don't blame me....you were warned.