Fic: When Death isn't the End (Kahlan/Denna)
Title: When Death isn't the End
Author: raug_moss
Pairings: Kahlan/Denna
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: character death and uhm... fluff?
A/N: this is a fill for a prompt by madame_denna. because she is my bestie and all. but I apologize in advance for this odd piece of fiction. this is what happens when I have some time on my hands between finals. I pretty much wrote it in three days, a few hours every evening. I just wanted to get it out there and usually I read a text a gazillion times before posting it, but this one I read over once, it’s also unbeta’d so I apologize for any mistakes. they’re all mine, you can’t have them.
When Death isn’t the End
Cara’s infuriated scream was the last thing Kahlan heard before everything went dark. The darkness was so all consuming that a strange feeling, as if floating on water, surrounded her entire being. She couldn’t hear, see or feel anything.
She knew that the blade had cut straight through her throat but she hadn’t felt any pain. Strangely enough she had always wondered what it would feel like - whether the blade would be cold as the steel that it was made of or whether it would be hot like the searing pain that usually accompanied death. Now she still wasn’t any smarter considering that particular question and yet she was gone from her body, on her way to the underworld most likely. And with a severed windpipe there was no way to return to the world of the living.
Kahlan wasn’t looking forward to meeting the Keeper, let alone all the other desperate souls writhing naked in the green flames of eternal misery.
Her thoughts were slow, like she had to shove them through a thick sticky substance until they were solid enough to make sense.
She had no idea for how long she remained in this state and eventually ceased to struggle against the heavy darkness that was still trying to hold her down.
“Wake up.” A voice said.
It was vaguely familiar but Kahlan couldn’t quite place it. It was hard to breathe and her eyelids were far too heavy to actually lift them.
“Wake up.” The voice insisted.
Kahlan groaned quietly and her parched lips started bleeding when she parted them. She could taste blood on the tip of her tongue and suddenly it filled her entire mouth. She didn’t know where it was coming from but air was quickly running out.
Hands settled on her shoulder and hip and she was rolled onto her side so that the blood could actually escape her mouth.
She coughed it onto the pale sand beneath her and rested her cheek against the tiny grains while sucking lungfuls of air into her body.
She hadn’t quite recovered yet but suddenly a hand fisted tightly into her hair and her head was lifted off the sand. Thousands of tiny pinpricks danced across her scalp and she protested against the rough treatment with a quiet groan.
“Dying isn’t fun, now is it?” The voice mocked and Kahlan tried yet again to open her eyes.
Bright light was blinding her for a few moments but soon enough a pale oval hovering above her came into focus.
“What…?” She croaked.
“Yes Confessor, you are as dead as can be. And by all that blood coming out of you, I guess that your pretty throat was slit. Pity for you, wouldn’t you agree?”
It took her several more deep breaths and pull from the hand in her hair until Kahlan managed to sit up and look at the person crouching next to her.
“Denna.” Is all Kahlan could think to say
“Well I’m glad you still remember me. Although I’m surprised to see you here of all people. I was counting on Cara to join me, but I’ll take what I can get.”
A smile cold as ice settled on Denna’s features as she got up without letting go of Kahlan’s hair, forcing the brunette to struggle to her feet as well.
“I might not have my agiel, but while I was here with absolutely nothing to do but contemplate how I will make you fools regret what you have done to me, I came up with some really good ideas. I’m eager to show you a few of them.” Denna continued in a conversational tone.
Kahlan however, couldn’t make sense of anything while she struggled to keep up with the Mord’Sith.
Denna was still wearing the dress she’d last seen her in. There was a large expanse of greenish water on one side of her while on the other was a beach that ended in a dark forest with trees so tall that they almost covered the entire sky.
She didn’t have much time to consider those strange surroundings because Denna unceremoniously dragged her toward a rotten trunk that had fallen haphazardly onto the beach.
She pushed Kahlan down and stood above her with legs spread and hands on her hips.
“Welcome to my own private little underworld.”
…
“It hasn’t been there before.” Denna mumbled as she eyed the passage warily.
Right there, right between those dark insuperable trees was a passageway leading to who knew where. And she was certain that it hadn’t been there before, just as the Confessor hadn’t been here before.
Denna turned her head and gazed at the slouched figure in the distance. What a pity that it wasn’t Cara who had shown up. She sure would have had more fun torturing her former sister.
And maybe that awful magical barrier, or whatever it was, wouldn’t have existed either.
After all this time spent with thinking and plotting, Denna had longed to feel, see and taste the pain of another living thing. She had soon tired of her own, and without agiels it was a fruitless attempt anyway. But for some reason the Confessor was protected by an invisible barrier. Every single one of her blows had been deflected before it even touched that pale smooth skin and that meant Denna had yet again nothing to occupy herself with. Thinking of hurtful things to say to Kahlan had been entertaining for a while, but everything lost its appeal when time stood still. Also a Confessor could never appreciate the beauty of carefully inflicted pain, so it was a lost cause altogether.
Denna tapped the tips of her fingers against her hip while remembering how she’d woken up on this beach, with a pain so intense in her chest that it had taken her several moments to suppress the scream that had built in her throat. And whilst she had promised herself to never let anyone hear her screams again, she had come very close to losing it completely in those first moments.
After that she’d spent all this time, it could have been years, all by herself with nowhere to go and nothing to do.
Hunger and thirst were constant companions, but they had dulled over time to a faint nuisance in the background of her consciousness.
In the end she had to admit to herself that she would’ve preferred the Keeper’s flames licking at her skin while naked bodies writhed all around her, to this awful place. Whereever she went, she always came back to this beach with its green water on one side and dark forest on the other.
But since the Confessor had shown up here, coughing blood like she would spit out her insides at any moment, things seemed to change.
Like that passage. I hadn’t been there before.
…
“Please, as if you could enter it when I wasn’t able to.” Denna rolled her eyes and crossed her arms before her chest.
“You know, that dress really takes away from those glares.” Kahlan countered and caused Denna to look down at herself.
“If I could take it off, believe me I would.”
Kahlan had also tried to take off her jacket and boots, but to no avail. Every time she had managed to unlace everything and pull it away from her skin, it was back in place as soon as she turned around. It was unsettling, to say in the least, but everything about this place was odd.
She was only thankful for the fact that Denna couldn’t harm her. It would’ve made everything a lot more difficult if she’d had to fend off a bloodthirsty Mord’Sith every waking moment. Which would’ve been all the time, since they didn’t sleep.
It was torture really, having all this time and nothing to do. It just couldn’t be good spending an eternity inside one’s own head, only thinking and wondering and contemplating.
Kahlan couldn’t tell how Denna had managed to hold out that long without going insane, but then again maybe the Mord’Sith was already beyond that point.
True to Denna’s prediction, Kahlan wasn’t able to go through the passage either. A barrier, not unlike the one that was protecting her, stopped her from entering it. But that didn’t mean that they couldn’t keep trying, each taking turns while the other sat down and watched.
…
Denna’s hand was hovering above Kahlan’s head and the brunette looked up with raised eyebrows.
“What in the Creator’s name are you doing?”
“I’m trying to touch your hair.” Denna said simply and narrowed her eyes.
“I did it when you first got here, but now I can’t get even close enough to…”
“Alright, enough already!” Kahlan hissed and jumped to her feet. She tried to swat Denna’s hand away but was blocked immediately. She hadn’t tried to touch the Mord’Sith before, but now she knew that the barrier worked both ways.
“I’m so sick of this!” Denna ground out between clenched teeth, impatience clearly written across her features.
“You think I enjoy being trapped here with you?”
Denna cocked her head to the side and grinned wolfishly.
“You could have had it worse, you know. Just imagine that Seeker of yours here, with you, unable to touch one another. How awful would that have been?”
Kahlan’s heart immediately clenched when she thought of Richard and how he had dealt with her death. He must’ve been devastated, but she was determined to return to him, no matter the cost
“Not the sad face again. Really, for a Confessor you’re far too easy to read.” Denna said.
And just like that Kahlan’s attention was returned to the Mord’Sith.
“Just what do you know about being a Confessor? Never mind. Get out of my way…”
Kahlan was trying to walk past Denna but the Mord’Sith suddenly raised a hand to her own chest.
Kahlan mistook it for yet another attempt to ridicule her and opened her lips for an acidic comment when she saw a look of utter pain flitter across Denna’s face.
She bent forward slightly and took shallow breaths of air.
“Are you…alright?” Kahlan asked slowly.
“Just leave me alone.” Denna growled in response, turning away from the Confessor.
“At least let me see…”
“Which part of ‘leave me alone’ didn’t you understand?!”
Denna was now breathing heavily, her jaw clenched tightly together while her eyes were ablaze with pain and something else entirely.
Kahlan reached for the Mord’Sith but Denna jerked away, trying to avoid being touched. Instead Kahlan grabbed onto Denna’s dress and the fabric was torn in half as they stumbled apart.
Standing there with a piece of dress in her hand Kahlan gaped at Denna who was now missing a decisive part of it.
“How…how did you do that?”
“I…I just held onto it.”
Suddenly Denna moved into Kahlan’s personal space, their faces only a breath apart.
“Take it off.”
“W-what?”
“I said take it off me!”
Denna was still pressing a hand to her chest and Kahlan hesitated for only a moment before she stepped around the Mord’Sith and began pulling the dress off her shoulders.
Underneath she was wearing simple underthings that did nothing to hide the alabaster skin of Denna’s legs and arms.
The Mord’Sith lowered herself to the ground and sat on the white sand while trying to get her breathing under control.
Kahlan just stood there, the entire dress bunched in her hands, and watched with quiet fascination.
After a long time of silence Kahlan eventually sat down next to Denna who had been staring at the green water sightlessly.
“So, what is this place?” The Confessor finally asked the one question that had been burning in her mind.
“I don’t know.” Denna answered without looking at her. “I just don’t know.”
…
“Stop fidgeting. By the Keeper you behave like a maiden about to be fucked for the first time.”
Denna knew she’d chosen the wrong words when Kahlan suddenly stiffened and stepped away.
“Now don’t play shy on me, you and the Seeker must have had lots of fun during those travels through the woods, all those starry nights…but no wait, you can’t bed him because you would confess him, isn’t that true? Well you should have asked Cara then, she provides excellent services…”
“Enough!” Kahlan interrupted.
“Forget I asked.”
The Confessor was scowling as she brought as much distance between her and Denna as she possibly could.
Now that they’d figured out that they could only handle their clothing by dressing and undressing one another Denna had opted for wearing a much shorter and less restraining version of her dress. And when Kahlan had finally found the courage to ask for Denna’s assistance it had all been ruined again by a few words.
Denna sighed. She knew she was slowly but steadily losing it ever since her body had welcomed the stray touches of the Confessor when they’d taken care of her dress being put back in place.
Furthermore the pain became less whenever the Confessor was near. But she was Mord’Sith and she welcomed the pain, relished it. It was the only constant that helped preserve her sanity.
But why, in all places, it had to be her chest hurting occurred to her when she recalled how she had died. It was as if that damned arrow from Cara was still there, only invisible.
Denna sauntered over to where Kahlan was sitting but kept her distance to the still upset Confessor.
“So, is your throat hurting much?” The Mord’Sith asked easily as if she had just commented on the weather.
Kahlan looked up at her, surprised, and Denna knew she was right. They were both feeling the aftermaths of their deaths. The Mord’Sith refused however to mention that the pain became bearable when they were closer to each other and since Kahlan didn’t broach the subject either they simply ignored it for the time being.
Kahlan eventually came around and rose to her feet.
“Alright fine. I’ll stop fidgeting if you don’t say anything while doing it.” She announced and Denna smirked.
The blonde crossed her arms before her chest without moving a single muscle.
Kahlan rolled her eyes.
“Please.”
With a satisfied smirk Denna stepped closer to Kahlan and as soon as her hands touched the fabric of the Confessor’s jacket the pain in her chest dissipated completely.
Denna let out a frustrated huff and began pulling the garment off Kahlan’s shoulders.
A smooth expanse of pale skin was revealed and Denna sucked her lower lip between her teeth when the jacket fell to the ground.
Kahlan sat down on top of it in one fluid motion and stretched out her legs.
Without having to utter a single word Denna knelt down in front of the Confessor and began untying the laces on the boots.
Although she tried, she wasn’t able to stop herself from dragging her fingers along those perfectly shaped legs when she pulled each boot off.
Kahlan also tried to suppress the shudder that ran through her body, but Denna still noticed it.
The entire thing left them both a little too breathless for either to feel comfortable so Denna simply straightened and walk back to the other side of the beach to sit down on a fallen log.
The pain her chest returned immediately and she sighed.
It wasn’t until she heard a chocked gasp that Denna turned her attention back to the Confessor. The brunette was kneeling on the sand, both hands on her throat while blood kept on dripping down her chin. She obviously couldn’t breathe and every time she tried to suck air into her lungs more blood burst through her lips. It looked grotesquely out of place when it dripped onto the white sand.
Denna watched the entire scene for several more moments until she eventually got up and walked over to the Confessor.
With a scowl of repulsion on her face Denna crouched down next to Kahlan and rested a hand on the brunette’s now bare shoulder.
It was only a matter of moments until Kahlan could breathe more easily, but she was obviously still in pain. Before Denna could even react she suddenly had two arms wrapped around her torso and a head resting in the crook of her neck.
“Don’t say anything.” The Confessor warned with a raspy voice and for once Denna actually remained silent.
…
They sat next to each other, so close that their shoulders were touching.
“Were you really trying to become a better person?” Kahlan asked quietly, her blue eyes searching the perfect features of the Mord’Sith for any sort of reaction.
“You mean before Cara pierced my heart with an arrow?” Denna’s tone was bitter and Kahlan couldn’t help but feel something akin to compassion for the other woman. But she would rather swallow her tongue than admit to that.
“Even if I wanted to, there is no way I could become someone else. I am Mord’Sith.” Denna answered after a long stretch of silence.
“But that doesn’t mean that you can’t change.”
“Like Cara? Become a domestic little pet to the Seeker and walk around saving peasants all day, every day? Please, as if I had any interested in that.”
“I think you have it in you Denna, you just don’t know it yet.” Kahlan earned herself a sideways glance from the blonde.
“What?”
“Nothing.” Denna grumbled, clearly not in the mood to talk about this anymore.
“So do you think we’ll ever get out of here?”
The urge to actually talk to another living soul was getting the better of Kahlan and since there was no one else around it was Denna who she tried to converse with. It posed to be a difficult task to get anything else out of the blonde except for one worded answers but Kahlan somehow managed even that.
She smiled, thinking that many Mord’Sith seemed to possess this aversion to talking, and since she’d gotten Cara to talk she was confident that she could get around to Denna as well.
“I know why I am here, but since you showed up as well I really can’t say what would be the purpose of this place.” Denna answered, interrupting Kahlan’s train of thought.
“What do you mean ‘since I showed up here’?”
“This was my punishment for everything I have done. My own personal little underworld. So your presence here does not make a whole lot of sense to me.”
“Maybe I’m being punished for my deeds as well…” Kahlan mused.
A cold laugh escaped Denna’s lips.
“Don’t try to compare yourself to me Confessor, you have no idea of what I’m capable of.”
So much for a nice conversation, Kahlan thought and sighed quietly. Now that she wasn’t continuously chocking on her own blood anymore when keeping close to the Mord’Sith, and with her restraining clothing reduced to a minimum, she actually had even more time to think about Richard, Cara and Zedd. She missed them so much that it was almost a physical ache while she kept on wondering how they were holding out without her. The last time she’d seen them they’d been in a battle near the Pillars of Creation and just when she had tried to deflect a blow meant for Cara’s back someone had charged at her from the side and cut her throat. Just like that. The powerful Mother Confessor of all the Midlands killed by some petty scoundrel. That was truly nothing to be proud of.
…
“So you haven’t managed, in all this time I might add you were together, to bed the Seeker?” Denna asked. There was no venom in that question, just genuine curiosity.
They were lying side by side on the sand, Kahlan’s hand wrapped around the blonde’s forearm. Her throat had gotten worse again and she had needed some skin contact to make the pain go away. Denna had allowed it begrudgingly but wanted to play a game of question and answer in return.
Kahlan sighed.
“No, Richard and I have not been intimate. Had I known that I couldn’t confess him, I would’ve done it when I still had the chance.”
Denna was quiet for so long that Kahlan began to think she’d already lost all interest in the topic.
“You can’t confess him?” She finally spoke.
“No.”
“Oh.”
Kahlan propped herself up on her elbows and looked down at the Mord’Sith who was staring at the dark sky above them.
“You sound upset.”
“No. I’m just… surprised. When I was training him, all he talked about was how much he loved you but couldn’t be with you…”
This admission was completely out of character for the Mord’Sith and they both knew it.
“It doesn’t matter anymore, now does it?” Kahlan had a sad smile on her lips and lowered herself back down onto the sand.
“I guess not.” Denna sighed.
“My turn. Why do you think that you deserve to be punished?”
Denna raised an eyebrow and turned her head to look at Kahlan. Her long blond hair was splayed all over the white sand, and her pale blue eyes looked almost gray in the semi-darkness of this place.
“I have killed, slaughtered and tortured people. Children. I didn’t feel anything then, I was frozen inside and yet I always knew that what I was doing was horrible. I didn’t care. I wanted everyone to suffer just as much as I had suffered. Now don’t you think that makes me evil? Do I not deserve to be punished?”
Kahlan slowly shook her head and turned onto her side to fully look at Denna.
“Are you listening to yourself? You have already said it, you were cold then, but now you have changed and you can continue to change.”
Denna mimicked the brunette’s pose and they were staring at each other head-on.
“There is just one tiny problem with that.”
“Yeah?”
“We’re dead Confessor.”
A look of embarrassment crossed Kahlan’s features.
“Oh, right.”
Denna smirked and raised a single perfectly-arched eyebrow.
“So you have never been fucked before?”
The question threw Kahlan completely off and a blush crept from her neck up to her face. She abruptly sat up and pulled her legs up to her chest.
“I don’t see how that is any of your concern.” She huffed.
Although she knew it would cause them both pain, Kahlan got up and walked away. She needed some time to herself and a few moments without the Mord’Sith’ presence.
Denna meanwhile remained in her position, arms crossed behind her head and gazing at the ever-present starless dark sky.
She thought about the Confessor’s words and although she hated to admit it they rung true somewhere deep inside of her. She had indeed started to change, without consciously wanting it, but she began to experience things, feel things she had thought herself incapable of feeling.
It was odd, and slightly frightening but Denna had never been one to get scared of anything. She was Mord’Sith.
But then again Mord’Sith didn’t feel, right?
A frustrated sigh escaped her lips and she pressed a hand to her chest without actually noticing it.
She closed her eyes for a while but then the pain became more present in her mind until she couldn’t ignore it any longer.
She loathed the fact that she had to stay near Kahlan for the pain to go away, and even though she could hold out much longer than the Confessor it always became unbearable in the end. Not because the pain was unbearable, but because she couldn’t let herself go. She always used to lose herself in pain until it consumed her every thought, but this was neither the right kind of pain nor the place for that.
It got worse and Denna eventually sat up, wondering why Kahlan hadn’t come back. She couldn’t see her and rose from the ground when she had to press both hands against her chest to actually take another breath.
It was ridiculous really, they were dead and yet it felt like her lungs were deprived of air until she could barely see straight anymore.
She stumbled across the sand and eventually found Kahlan near the trees, lying on her side, silent sobs rocking her body. Although she was crying it was obvious that she wasn’t conscious anymore.
Denna fell to her knees near the other woman and moved closer until she was able to lie down next to her and wrap an arm around the Confessor’s middle.
For some reason sleep claimed the Mord’Sith and sweet unconsciousness followed.
…
When Kahlan awoke everything was still the same, except for the fact that she had her head resting on Denna softly rising and falling chest. Her arm was draped across the Mord’Sith middle and their legs were somehow entwined.
She couldn’t remember what had happened after a wave of intense pain had flooded her entire body, rendering her unable to move.
Denna’s breathing changed and Kahlan knew she was awake.
“You were asleep too.” The Confessor said quietly, not moving away from Denna. It was awkward, yes, but she just craved the comfort of being held. Just a tiny soothing touch was all she needed and she would be able to go on for another eternity.
“This place is changing, and so are we.” Denna stated.
She wasn’t making any move to get up either and so they stayed in that position, without actually acknowledging the strangeness of it.
“What does it mean?”
“Wish I knew.” Denna sighed and Kahlan’s head moved up and down with the motion.
“I have never been…intimate with anyone.” Kahlan suddenly said out of the blue. She burrowed her face deeper into Denna’s neck because embarrassment was clearly written across her features. She was actually getting ready for disdainful laugh or a vicious comment but Denna only hummed quietly in response.
“I already knew that.”
“Really? How?”
“I am Mord’Sith.”
Kahlan chuckled at that, warm breath dancing across Denna’s skin.
“What’s so funny about that?” She asked, tensing,
“Just that Mord’Sith answer everything they think should be obvious with ‘I am Mord’Sith’.”
Denna didn’t seem to quite agree with that so she ignored the comment.
“Why did you tell me though? You said it was none of my business.”
“I…I don’t know. I just…wanted to say it for once. Now that I have missed this opportunity I regret that I have never tried it, but back then there was just no way…”
“I could tell you a few things that would have you blushing your pretty little head right off your shoulders.” Denna commented dryly after a moment.
“I certainly believe you could.” Kahlan replied smirking but then turned serious again.
“But I’ll pass. No need in telling me about something I’ll never experience. I will only make it worse.”
The Confessor unconsciously pressed her body closer to Denna and sighed contentedly. Denna didn’t object but raised her head to look into blue eyes for a moment.
“Just for the record, Mord’Sith do not cuddle. Ever.”
Kahlan began chuckling, her entire body shaking with suppressed laughter.
“Noted.” She chocked out and was rewarded with an indulgent smile from Denna.
I am truly going insane, the Mord’Sith thought to herself and let head fall back onto the sand.
“I have been thinking.” Kahlan said when she and Denna had changed positions and she was now cradling a blonde head in her lap while leaning with her back against a fallen log.
“No, really?” Denna teased and looked up at the Confessor.
“Yes. I believe that we can only change this place when we both want it.”
Kahlan knew she had the blonde’s full attention when two shapely brows creased in thought.
“How so?”
“Well, we couldn’t take our clothing off without helping each other and we were only able to touch when we both accepted it.”
“That…” Denna tried to think back over everything that had happened ever since Kahlan had appeared. “…might be true. But we both wanted to go through that passage and we couldn’t.”
Kahlan cocked her to the side and turned to look at the passageway between the dark trees.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She answered slowly, but something was in the back of her mind, just beyond reach.
“And why do you think can’t we drown in the water? I mean it just sort of moves away from us whenever it reaches shoulder-height.” Kahlan thought out loud.
Denna half-shrugged.
“I suppose it’s just a barrier, sort of like the forest. Even though we could walk in either direction forever we will always find ourselves in the same spot again sooner or later. But do you really need to ask? Nothing here makes a lot of sense.”
…
Kahlan gasped. She lifted her back off the sand in a perfect arch, tiny grains of sand clinging to her naked sweaty form like armor.
“No stop! Stop!” She shouted and Denna lifted her head, regrettingly letting go of the puckered peak between her lips.
“What?!” She barked impatiently.
Kahlan was still trying to regain her breathing, eyes squeezed shut and both hands buried in her dark tresses.
“What if I confess you?”
Denna licked her lips and moved her body upward, along Kahlan’s naked curves. Her long hair was falling haphazardly over her shoulders, gently tickling the Confessor’s exposed breasts.
“Kahlan?” She asked leaning down and capturing the brunette’s lips in a deep and long kiss.
“Yes?” Kahlan gasped when they parted.
“You can’t confess me, because we are already dead.”
Blue eyes suddenly opened, staring up into Denna’s smirking face.
“Oh yeah…I keep on forgetting that somehow. Well then, please continue.” Kahlan waved her hand in a vague gesture toward her body.
“As you wish.” The lustful grin that spread across Denna’s lips was pretty much the most arousing sight Kahlan had ever seen.
She wasn’t entirely sure how they’d gotten this far, but now that they were both naked and Denna was moving her lips to places no one had ever even seen before there was no going back.
Although she had occasionally touched herself to coax some sort of pleasure from her body, it was nothing compared to what Denna was doing to her. Within a short span of time she was reduced to gasps and moans and when the blonde’s talented fingers found her most sensitive core she actually raked her nails down Denna’s spine, leaving deep red marks in her wake.
“Oh Spirits please…please…please…Denna!”
Kahlan was already beyond thought as her hips moved of their own accord to meet every single thrust of the blonde’s fingers.
Pleasure flooded her body so forcefully that a few tears escaped her eyes when she floated high above on a cloud of ecstasy.
Kahlan was still panting when the humming of her body returned to a normal level. She was still limply hanging on to the threads of her thoughts when Denna slipped free of her and raised her fingers to her lips to gently lap at the tips.
Kahlan groaned and grabbed the Mord’Sith neck to crush their lips together a little too forcefully.
“I can’t believe this just happened.” She panted against the blonde’s mouth.
“Yeah, I never thought I’d fuck a Confessor either.”
A look of hurt flittered through Kahlan’s eyes and Denna immediately regretted her poor choice of words.
“That’s not what I meant…” She began but Kahlan shook her head and smiled.
“I know.”
She suddenly spun them both around and began her own little exploratory journey over delicious curves and smooth skin. Denna allowed it but guided Kahlan with a hand threaded into her hair.
The Confessor was hesitant at first, but when the smell of Denna’s arousal surrounded her she couldn’t hold out any longer and moved in for a taste.
Her movements weren’t really precise but she got an idea of what the Mord’Sith liked pretty quickly.
“Just do…circles!” Denna moaned and Kahlan paused her ministrations to look up at Denna with a raised eyebrow. Her look clearly said ‘seriously?’ but when she received no further instructions she simply did as she was told.
Denna becoming undone under her hands and tongue was one of the most marvelous things she had ever been allowed to witness.
How had she been supposed to know that bringing pleasure to someone else could be so incredibly rewarding? That had never been the case with Richard, and even though a bit of guilt came to life in her heart at the thought of him, she easily pushed it aside and forgot about it the next second.
“For someone with as good as no experience you are surprisingly good at it.” Denna said, smirking.
“I’m a quick study.” Kahlan replied and stretched her body before returning to the blonde’s side.
“Maybe this strange place will turn out to be more entertaining than I have initially thought.” Denna mused.
“I think I can only agree to that. Although I don’t think being dead should feel this good.” Kahlan replied and Denna chuckled.
“Certainly not.”
…
Kahlan had her arms wrapped around Denna, while the Mord’Sith sat in between her outstretched legs.
She rested her chin on Denna’s shoulder and quietly spoke into the other woman’s ear.
“I somehow always knew you could become a better person.”
The blonde turned her head to side.
“At what point exactly did you come to that conclusion? When I tried to kill you and the Seeker? Or when I kidnapped that wizard of yours?”
Kahlan gently a hand up and down Denna’s back, feeling the scratches she had left there. Now that they were as familiar with each other’s bodies as with their own there was no need for clothing anymore. The temperature always remained the same and the water wasn’t cold either. And it wasn’t like the Keeper was getting off on seeing them naked.
“You could have killed me the moment Richard knocked me unconscious with that agiel of yours, but you didn’t. And the same goes for Zedd. I know you are going to say that you merely had different plans for us, and yet you didn’t kill us. Oh and when you had your lips down there, kissing me so unbelievably gently that I came alone from that, gave me a pretty good clue.”
Denna chuckled and placed a kiss against Kahlan’s jaw.
“I really need to teach you how to talk dirty, don’t I?”
“And here I thought I was getting pretty good at it…”
Kahlan laughed quietly but became silent when Denna murmured something.
“What?”
“I said that I couldn’t have changed without you… Had I tried it on my own, I think I would’ve failed, but for some reason you help me push that darkness inside of me back to a place where it can’t come forth anymore.”
Kahlan tightened her hold on the blonde.
“But you shouldn’t forget that I am still Mord’Sith and always will be.”
“I won’t.”
Denna took a deep breath and leaned back. She knew that her behavior was completely out of character, not only for her, but for any Mord’Sith. She was gentle and soft, she actually cuddled with the Confessor and a part of her still loathed this weakness. The greater part however wanted to be near Kahlan for all eternity. She had finally found something she knew hadn’t been meant for her and now she wanted to keep it forever.
“Do you still miss them?” Denna asked and they both know who she was referring to. The Mord’Sith knew that Kahlan’s heart still belonged to the Seeker, but it didn’t bother her too much. It was enough for her to possess a tiny part of Kahlan that Richard would never have.
Kahlan kissed Denna’s naked shoulder before shaking her head.
“Not as much anymore…no. I do hope that they have gotten over my death by now.”
“Well, for all we know you could’ve died yesterday there.” Denna reminded and Kahlan grimaced.
“Still. I really wouldn’t want to cause them anymore unnecessary pain.”
They both fell silent after that and Kahlan tapped her fingertips against Denna’s side while thinking about the oddity that this place.
Something was still nagging her but she just couldn’t put her finger on it. They had figured out that they could change a few things about this place, like moving a fallen log around, when they both wanted it, but still hadn’t been able to go through that passage. Not that she wanted to. As insane that might've sounded to anyone’s ears, Kahlan was happy. She loved every single moment she spent with Denna and an eternity of this didn’t seem so bad after all.
But then suddenly it occurred to her. She immediately tensed and fully turned to look at the passage.
Denna was pushed forward and spun around on her knees to look at Kahlan.
“What’s wrong?”
Uncertain blue eyes settled on the blonde’s face.
“I think I know why we haven’t been able to enter the passageway.”
Denna’s jaw clenched and they were both thinking about what it would mean if Kahlan had indeed found the solution.
“Tell me.” Denna demanded after coming to the decision that this place was never meant for Kahlan. If there was a way for the Confessor to return to the world of the living, she was going to make sure Kahlan would walk it.
“We both have to want something to make it happen, and although we can only work with what’s already here, that’s more or less the basic principle right?”
Denna nodded.
“So when we tried to go through the passage we both wanted it, but just for ourselves. Now what if we tried to go through while wanting that both of us can do so together.”
Denna’s brows furrowed as she thought about Kahlan’s proposal.
“That is so absurd that it could almost work.”
She got up from the ground and held her hand out to Kahlan who took it and rose.
They started walking toward the passageway when Kahlan stopped them with a tug on Denna’s hand.
“How about we dress first?” She suggested shyly and Denna looked down at herself. She’d almost completely forgotten about their nudity, but nodded in agreement.
They quickly dressed one another and Kahlan leaned in to gently kiss the blonde Mord’Sith. They stood there for several moments in each other’s arms, only lips and tongues tasting, mingling.
Denna recognized the kiss for what it was, a promise that whatever happened should they be able walk through the passage they would be together, and she smiled.
…
They were both concentrating on the task at hand, standing in front of the passageway and sharing a last glance before reaching out.
At this point the barrier would’ve normally repulsed Kahlan’s hand but suddenly it went right through the blueish glimmering wall.
“By the Creator.” She gasped. “It worked.”
Denna reached out her hand as well but her fingers were stopped right in front of the barrier.
She glared at it but couldn’t get any further.
Her decision was made as soon as she had realized that she wouldn’t be able to go through.
“No!” Kahlan said, reading the stern look on the Mord’Sith face. She snapped her hand back and suddenly Denna stumbled forward, halfway through the barrier.
Now it was the brunette who wasn’t able to reach through it and Denna stepped back to look at Kahlan.
“Only one of us can go through.”
“At a time?”
“No.”
“Denna…”
The Mord’Sith smiled and wrapped both hands around Kahlan’s waist to pull her close. She leaned forward and placed a kiss onto those unbelievably soft lips. Her mouth then wandered down her neck and she took a deep breath while burying one hand in thick dark hair.
“I won’t leave you.” Kahlan mumbled and returned the embrace.
“I know.” Denna breathed.
She suddenly grabbed both of Kahlan’s shoulders and with a strong push shoved her right through the barrier and into the shadows of the large trees.
Widened shocked blue eyes stared back at her before the Confessor was completely engulfed in darkness and disappeared from sight.
Denna pressed both hands against the barrier and smiled bitterly.
She hadn’t cried ever since her first three breakings but not even the Keeper himself could have stopped that single tear rolling down her cheek.
This is how it was supposed to be and the glimpse at happiness she had been allowed was all she could hold onto for all eternity.
That Kahlan would have stayed with her, and hadn’t even thought about that she could have stepped through the barrier herself leaving Kahlan behind, meant everything to Denna. Of course she would have never allowed that the Confessor threw her chance at life away like this, but it was still a beautiful thought that someone wanted to stand by her side of their own free will.
“Who would have known that a Mord’Sith can actually love?” Denna whispered and turned away from the barrier.
…
“What were you…”
Kahlan’s voice wasn’t her own and she heard it from somewhere far far away. Darkness was all around her and she was floating again. Or at least she thought she was.
She couldn’t see, feel or hear anything until suddenly her back collided with something solid, pressing the last word out of her.
“…thinking!” She yelled and the echo could be heard all around her.
She opened her eyes and frantically scrambled to her feet.
“Denna!”
The sun was shining high above her head and sky was as blue as she remembered it. A bird sang somewhere in the distance and the place looked vaguely familiar.
“Denna!” She yelled again but only her own echo wailed back at her call.
She knew she was completely out of her mind and she needed a moment to calm her breathing to go about this strategically.
She stood there, not moving a muscle, and looked around again.
These were the Pillars of Creation! She recognized them now and blinked a few times.
Did that mean she was back in the world of the living?
And where was Denna?
“You shouldn’t have done that.” Kahlan said to no one and tears sprang to her eyes unbidden. She forced them back with a deep breath, nothing was lost yet.
“Her soul has been redeemed.” An ethereal voice said. It came from nowhere and everywhere at the same time, maybe even from inside her head.
Kahlan spun around.
“What?!”
“By giving you your life she redeemed herself and has now finally moved on.” The voice replied.
“Fuck that! I want her here with me!”
Kahlan didn’t care if she was talking to the Creator herself, she only wanted Denna.
The oddity of it was not lost on the Confessor but she could barely make sense of her own feelings at the moment. She only knew that she was desperately missing the blonde. It hurt so much.
But the voice was gone and no one cared to answer to her cries and pleadings. She paced around the Pillars of Creation, yelling at the Creator and the Keeper alike until her throat was sore.
She realized that she couldn’t expect any help from higher powers, but a certain wizard would surely know some sort of spell to suit her purposes.
She would figure this all out and bring Denna back. She deserved a second chance, more than anyone else. Richard would understand.
Unfortunately the Pillars of Creation were pretty far off from the next village and she wasn’t in the best shape either. She walked an entire day, only mildly happy that time finally made sense again, until she came across a lone merchant. He drove on a simple cart with some supplies strapped to a single horse that had seen better days as well.
Kahlan broke into a run until she had caught up with him. Fortunately he was only a harmless old man who happily offered to take her along.
“You wouldn’t know where I could find the Seeker?” Kahlan asked, munching on a spiced piece of bread the merchant had given her. And although it wasn’t particularly delicious she still closed her eyes at the taste of the first bite. There was nothing comparable to being able to eat actual food.
“The Seeker? You mean Lord Rahl? Oh he is at the People’s Palace of course. Well I think he is. He has just returned from his journey to the Mother Confessor so he should be there right now.” The merchant answered.
“The…Mother Confessor?” Kahlan spluttered.
“Oh yes, she lives in Aydindril and Lord Rahl visits her frequently to speak about contracts and such things. Ever since the Midlands and D’Hara have started trading and working together everything has changed for the better.”
“Right…”
Kahlan wasn’t entirely sure what to make of the information, but she definitely needed to find out if the Lord Rahl was indeed Richard or if she had just ended up in another kind of underworld.
The merchant took her to the next village where she borrowed a horse, leaving a note to whomever it belonged that she would pay for it later.
Desperate times called for drastic measures.
She rode the horse as hard as she could, refusing to acknowledge the ache in her heart, and soon had to ‘borrow’ yet another animal to continue her journey.
Usually it had been enough to tell people that she was the Mother Confessor and required means of transport, but now someone else seemed to have claimed that title and she really wasn’t keen on being arrested for pretentiousness.
She eventually reached the People’s Palace hungry and completely exhausted. Never having been there before, she was shocked at the size of it, wondering how she was supposed to find Richard amidst all these walls of stone.
…
In the end it wasn’t that great of a challenge to seek out the reigning Lord Rahl. Because he visited the merchant’s booths within the walls of the palace every day she only needed to follow the masses of people toward the spectacle that was the ruler of their land.
A large cluster of people was surrounding him and Kahlan had to not so gently push her way to the front.
When she finally caught a glimpse of the man in a red robe with the Sword of Truth strapped to his hip she froze mid-motion.
It was Richard alright, but not how she remembered him.
His hair was still as shaggy, but had lost some of its color. His beard was fuller now and age had added wrinkles to his eyes and mouth. He still possessed the same gentle eyes, but experience had changed his entire posture. He seemed more self-assured and calm now. An aura of power and serenity surrounded him as he smiled at the child of a merchant that had waddled up to him.
Her feet began to move of their own accord. She needed to get a better look at him.
“Richard.” She gasped and suddenly surprised brown eyes settled on her.
He turned away from the child and took a step toward her, shock and confusion clearly written across his face.
“K-Kahlan?”
“Richard!”
The sight of him was such a relief to her tortured heart that she swiftly moved toward him and flung her arms around his neck.
He still smelled the same.
“You are dead.” He breathed but returned the hug nonetheless.
Kahlan let go and fully looked at him.
“And you are…old.”
“Kahlan... it’s been ten years since you died.”
The color of his face had changed to a very concerning white and he looked like he had just seen a ghost.
Kahlan herself was just as perplexed, unable to fully comprehend what Richard had said.
“Ten years? That can’t be…”
“Richard!” A voice called and Kahlan spun around when she heard it.
She watched as Cara walked toward them with quick strides. The blonde’s hair had grown longer and it was tied back in a ponytail, just not as tightly as Kahlan remembered Mord’Sith wearing it. Her clothing had also changed. It now looked like a mixture between Mord’Sith leathers and a guard’s uniform, more formal and less restraining.
“What is going on?” She barked. Her face was hard and her eyes were filled with suspicion.
“Who are you?” She asked when she came to stand next to Richard.
“It’s me…Kahlan.” The Confessor replied hesitantly.
“Kahlan is dead. I don’t know who you are, but certainly not her.”
The shock on Richard’s face turned into something else entirely, now that he considered the possibility that she could be an impostor.
“I am Kahlan!” She protested and Richard and Cara shared a glance.
“Prove it.” The Mord’Sith demanded, crossing her arms before her chest. Guards were taking position on either side of them, ready to protect their Lord Rahl.
“We…we saved the Night Wisps together.” Kahlan began.
“And we defeated the Keeper, although Richard gave the first Stone of Tears to him. And when were in that tomb, Cara, you said that you considered me to be your…”
“Alright!” The Mord’Sith interrupted.
“I believe you.” She breathed and stepped forward to put a hand on Kahlan’s shoulder.
“But how is this possible? We buried you ten years ago Kahlan, you were dead.”
“I was, yes, but it’s really a long story. Say, is Zedd here? I have a few questions to ask him.”
Although happiness about their reunion should be reigning her thoughts, Kahlan could ony think of one person she wanted to be reunited with.
Richard shook his head.
“No he is in Aydindril with Dennee. The long travels are not that good for him anymore.”
So Dennee was now the Mother Confessor Kahlan thought and smiled. She looked at Richard and he returned her smile although he was still struggling with his initial shock. She was sorry that she had to do this to him, bringing back feelings and memories he probably had long ago buried.
“Richard!” Someone called and they were yet again interrupted.
A woman with long dark hair and piercing green eyes joined them. She smiled at Richard and rose to her toes to place a kiss on his lips. She raised an eyebrow at him when he refused to react.
The woman was beautiful, very much so, and even though Kahlan felt a little pang in her heart, she was glad that he had found happiness without her.
The woman turned to Kahlan with a smile. “Hello there. I don’t think we have met before. I’m Clarissa.”
Kahlan nodded. “Uh…hello.”
Cara cleared her throat uncomfortably.
“I think we should take this into the palace.”
“Yes!” Richard agreed a little too hastily and earned himself a questioning glance from Clarissa.
…
Kahlan was sitting in the Great Hall of the People’s Palace, staring at the food in front of her. She wasn’t particularly hungry and only drank some of the wine.
After Richard had introduced her to Clarissa the other woman had immediately known that Kahlan wasn’t just a woman who coincidentally had the same name as Richard’s first true love.
Needless to say that everything was a little awkward from then on and Kahlan tried to stay out of Richard’s way as much as possible. She hadn’t talked much to either him or Cara, mostly keeping to herself and working through books in the great library. They had sent word to Aydindril and Kahlan had written a letter to Zedd asking for his assistance.
But the more time passed, the more miserable Kahlan felt. She missed Denna so much, craved her touch and her presence.
What would Richard and Cara say if they knew?
Kahlan looked up from her wine when someone took the empty seat next to her. She really wasn’t in the mood to talk and since Richard had convinced her to join them in the Great Hall for dinner she’d become even more quiet. He hadn’t told her that dinner meant that hundreds of people would be joining them.
Out of all people it was Clarissa who was now sitting next to her.
“You look sad.” She simply stated and Kahlan tried to smile.
“I’m fine. Really.”
“I have seen many women with a broken heart, and you don’t look any different.”
“What? No, oh no, I am really happy for you and Richard. I completely understand. I didn’t expect him to mourn me for the rest of his life.” Kahlan hurried to reassure.
“Oh I know you aren’t sad because of Richard. It is something else that is hurting you, isn't it?” Clarissa answered and scooted a little closer to Kahlan.
The Confessor was slowly starting to understand why Richard had fallen in love with this woman. She was compassionate and so very good-hearted.
Clarissa carefully rested a hand on Kahlan’s forearm and smiled encouragingly at her.
That was pretty much all it took for her carefully constructed façade to crumble.
“I…I am…” She hiccupped, realizing that she might’ve drunken a little too much wine.
“I miss her so much.” Kahlan eventually said and sniffled.
“I want her to come back to me. Right now!”
Clarissa raised her eyebrows. She didn’t understand what Kahlan was talking about, of course not, how could she? No one would understand.
Suddenly a murmur went through the crowd and everything went deathly still. The faint scream of an agiel could be heard through the silence.
“What in all the world…!” Cara exclaimed and jumped to her feet at the other end of the hall.
Richard rose as well, hand on his sword.
Kahlan leaned back and together with Clarissa tried to get a glimpse of whatever was causing this ruckus.
“My my, what a warm welcome.” A voice purred and a shiver ran down Kahlan’s spine.
With shaking legs she rose from her chair.
Right there, surrounded by a dozen guards, stood Denna in full Mord’Sith regalia. She had an agiel in one hand and her hair was tied back tightly The red of the leather glistened in the faint light of the candles above.
Kahlan’s heart skipped a beat. Breathing became visibly harder and the blood rushed from her face. She swayed a little right where she stood and Clarissa held her upright by wrapping both hands around her arm.
“Are you alright?”
“I have to… I need to…”
Kahlan simply started walking. She felt as if in a daze.
She bumped into a few people on her way toward the Mord’Sith but they eventually started to step aside.
Kahlan stepped past the guards without caring about the fact that each was holding a razor-sharp blade.
“Kahlan!” Cara called.
Suddenly Denna turned, finally catching sight of the Confessor. The arrogant smirk slipped from her face and she lowered her agiel.
Kahlan walked toward Denna until she stood right in front of her, until they were breathing each other in.
Tears were welling up in her eyes as Kahlan pressed her lips tightly together.
“What were you thinking?” She finally said.
Denna rewarded her with a lopsided smirk and Kahlan threw her arms around the Mord’Sith to pull her into a kiss.
Their lips met and it was the most satisfying thing in the world.
She didn’t care what anyone was thinking, she didn’t care that everyone was staring at them. It didn’t matter.
Denna had finally come back to her.
“I have missed you so much.” She mumbled against those magnificent lips and Denna rested her forehead against Kahlan’s.
“I came back from the dead for you I think that says it all, doesn’t it?” Denna replied quietly.
Kahlan smiled, unwilling to let go of Denna.
“I’m glad that death wasn’t the end for us.”
"So am I, believe me, so am I."
Fin~
Author: raug_moss
Pairings: Kahlan/Denna
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: character death and uhm... fluff?
A/N: this is a fill for a prompt by madame_denna. because she is my bestie and all. but I apologize in advance for this odd piece of fiction. this is what happens when I have some time on my hands between finals. I pretty much wrote it in three days, a few hours every evening. I just wanted to get it out there and usually I read a text a gazillion times before posting it, but this one I read over once, it’s also unbeta’d so I apologize for any mistakes. they’re all mine, you can’t have them.
When Death isn’t the End
Cara’s infuriated scream was the last thing Kahlan heard before everything went dark. The darkness was so all consuming that a strange feeling, as if floating on water, surrounded her entire being. She couldn’t hear, see or feel anything.
She knew that the blade had cut straight through her throat but she hadn’t felt any pain. Strangely enough she had always wondered what it would feel like - whether the blade would be cold as the steel that it was made of or whether it would be hot like the searing pain that usually accompanied death. Now she still wasn’t any smarter considering that particular question and yet she was gone from her body, on her way to the underworld most likely. And with a severed windpipe there was no way to return to the world of the living.
Kahlan wasn’t looking forward to meeting the Keeper, let alone all the other desperate souls writhing naked in the green flames of eternal misery.
Her thoughts were slow, like she had to shove them through a thick sticky substance until they were solid enough to make sense.
She had no idea for how long she remained in this state and eventually ceased to struggle against the heavy darkness that was still trying to hold her down.
“Wake up.” A voice said.
It was vaguely familiar but Kahlan couldn’t quite place it. It was hard to breathe and her eyelids were far too heavy to actually lift them.
“Wake up.” The voice insisted.
Kahlan groaned quietly and her parched lips started bleeding when she parted them. She could taste blood on the tip of her tongue and suddenly it filled her entire mouth. She didn’t know where it was coming from but air was quickly running out.
Hands settled on her shoulder and hip and she was rolled onto her side so that the blood could actually escape her mouth.
She coughed it onto the pale sand beneath her and rested her cheek against the tiny grains while sucking lungfuls of air into her body.
She hadn’t quite recovered yet but suddenly a hand fisted tightly into her hair and her head was lifted off the sand. Thousands of tiny pinpricks danced across her scalp and she protested against the rough treatment with a quiet groan.
“Dying isn’t fun, now is it?” The voice mocked and Kahlan tried yet again to open her eyes.
Bright light was blinding her for a few moments but soon enough a pale oval hovering above her came into focus.
“What…?” She croaked.
“Yes Confessor, you are as dead as can be. And by all that blood coming out of you, I guess that your pretty throat was slit. Pity for you, wouldn’t you agree?”
It took her several more deep breaths and pull from the hand in her hair until Kahlan managed to sit up and look at the person crouching next to her.
“Denna.” Is all Kahlan could think to say
“Well I’m glad you still remember me. Although I’m surprised to see you here of all people. I was counting on Cara to join me, but I’ll take what I can get.”
A smile cold as ice settled on Denna’s features as she got up without letting go of Kahlan’s hair, forcing the brunette to struggle to her feet as well.
“I might not have my agiel, but while I was here with absolutely nothing to do but contemplate how I will make you fools regret what you have done to me, I came up with some really good ideas. I’m eager to show you a few of them.” Denna continued in a conversational tone.
Kahlan however, couldn’t make sense of anything while she struggled to keep up with the Mord’Sith.
Denna was still wearing the dress she’d last seen her in. There was a large expanse of greenish water on one side of her while on the other was a beach that ended in a dark forest with trees so tall that they almost covered the entire sky.
She didn’t have much time to consider those strange surroundings because Denna unceremoniously dragged her toward a rotten trunk that had fallen haphazardly onto the beach.
She pushed Kahlan down and stood above her with legs spread and hands on her hips.
“Welcome to my own private little underworld.”
…
“It hasn’t been there before.” Denna mumbled as she eyed the passage warily.
Right there, right between those dark insuperable trees was a passageway leading to who knew where. And she was certain that it hadn’t been there before, just as the Confessor hadn’t been here before.
Denna turned her head and gazed at the slouched figure in the distance. What a pity that it wasn’t Cara who had shown up. She sure would have had more fun torturing her former sister.
And maybe that awful magical barrier, or whatever it was, wouldn’t have existed either.
After all this time spent with thinking and plotting, Denna had longed to feel, see and taste the pain of another living thing. She had soon tired of her own, and without agiels it was a fruitless attempt anyway. But for some reason the Confessor was protected by an invisible barrier. Every single one of her blows had been deflected before it even touched that pale smooth skin and that meant Denna had yet again nothing to occupy herself with. Thinking of hurtful things to say to Kahlan had been entertaining for a while, but everything lost its appeal when time stood still. Also a Confessor could never appreciate the beauty of carefully inflicted pain, so it was a lost cause altogether.
Denna tapped the tips of her fingers against her hip while remembering how she’d woken up on this beach, with a pain so intense in her chest that it had taken her several moments to suppress the scream that had built in her throat. And whilst she had promised herself to never let anyone hear her screams again, she had come very close to losing it completely in those first moments.
After that she’d spent all this time, it could have been years, all by herself with nowhere to go and nothing to do.
Hunger and thirst were constant companions, but they had dulled over time to a faint nuisance in the background of her consciousness.
In the end she had to admit to herself that she would’ve preferred the Keeper’s flames licking at her skin while naked bodies writhed all around her, to this awful place. Whereever she went, she always came back to this beach with its green water on one side and dark forest on the other.
But since the Confessor had shown up here, coughing blood like she would spit out her insides at any moment, things seemed to change.
Like that passage. I hadn’t been there before.
…
“Please, as if you could enter it when I wasn’t able to.” Denna rolled her eyes and crossed her arms before her chest.
“You know, that dress really takes away from those glares.” Kahlan countered and caused Denna to look down at herself.
“If I could take it off, believe me I would.”
Kahlan had also tried to take off her jacket and boots, but to no avail. Every time she had managed to unlace everything and pull it away from her skin, it was back in place as soon as she turned around. It was unsettling, to say in the least, but everything about this place was odd.
She was only thankful for the fact that Denna couldn’t harm her. It would’ve made everything a lot more difficult if she’d had to fend off a bloodthirsty Mord’Sith every waking moment. Which would’ve been all the time, since they didn’t sleep.
It was torture really, having all this time and nothing to do. It just couldn’t be good spending an eternity inside one’s own head, only thinking and wondering and contemplating.
Kahlan couldn’t tell how Denna had managed to hold out that long without going insane, but then again maybe the Mord’Sith was already beyond that point.
True to Denna’s prediction, Kahlan wasn’t able to go through the passage either. A barrier, not unlike the one that was protecting her, stopped her from entering it. But that didn’t mean that they couldn’t keep trying, each taking turns while the other sat down and watched.
…
Denna’s hand was hovering above Kahlan’s head and the brunette looked up with raised eyebrows.
“What in the Creator’s name are you doing?”
“I’m trying to touch your hair.” Denna said simply and narrowed her eyes.
“I did it when you first got here, but now I can’t get even close enough to…”
“Alright, enough already!” Kahlan hissed and jumped to her feet. She tried to swat Denna’s hand away but was blocked immediately. She hadn’t tried to touch the Mord’Sith before, but now she knew that the barrier worked both ways.
“I’m so sick of this!” Denna ground out between clenched teeth, impatience clearly written across her features.
“You think I enjoy being trapped here with you?”
Denna cocked her head to the side and grinned wolfishly.
“You could have had it worse, you know. Just imagine that Seeker of yours here, with you, unable to touch one another. How awful would that have been?”
Kahlan’s heart immediately clenched when she thought of Richard and how he had dealt with her death. He must’ve been devastated, but she was determined to return to him, no matter the cost
“Not the sad face again. Really, for a Confessor you’re far too easy to read.” Denna said.
And just like that Kahlan’s attention was returned to the Mord’Sith.
“Just what do you know about being a Confessor? Never mind. Get out of my way…”
Kahlan was trying to walk past Denna but the Mord’Sith suddenly raised a hand to her own chest.
Kahlan mistook it for yet another attempt to ridicule her and opened her lips for an acidic comment when she saw a look of utter pain flitter across Denna’s face.
She bent forward slightly and took shallow breaths of air.
“Are you…alright?” Kahlan asked slowly.
“Just leave me alone.” Denna growled in response, turning away from the Confessor.
“At least let me see…”
“Which part of ‘leave me alone’ didn’t you understand?!”
Denna was now breathing heavily, her jaw clenched tightly together while her eyes were ablaze with pain and something else entirely.
Kahlan reached for the Mord’Sith but Denna jerked away, trying to avoid being touched. Instead Kahlan grabbed onto Denna’s dress and the fabric was torn in half as they stumbled apart.
Standing there with a piece of dress in her hand Kahlan gaped at Denna who was now missing a decisive part of it.
“How…how did you do that?”
“I…I just held onto it.”
Suddenly Denna moved into Kahlan’s personal space, their faces only a breath apart.
“Take it off.”
“W-what?”
“I said take it off me!”
Denna was still pressing a hand to her chest and Kahlan hesitated for only a moment before she stepped around the Mord’Sith and began pulling the dress off her shoulders.
Underneath she was wearing simple underthings that did nothing to hide the alabaster skin of Denna’s legs and arms.
The Mord’Sith lowered herself to the ground and sat on the white sand while trying to get her breathing under control.
Kahlan just stood there, the entire dress bunched in her hands, and watched with quiet fascination.
After a long time of silence Kahlan eventually sat down next to Denna who had been staring at the green water sightlessly.
“So, what is this place?” The Confessor finally asked the one question that had been burning in her mind.
“I don’t know.” Denna answered without looking at her. “I just don’t know.”
…
“Stop fidgeting. By the Keeper you behave like a maiden about to be fucked for the first time.”
Denna knew she’d chosen the wrong words when Kahlan suddenly stiffened and stepped away.
“Now don’t play shy on me, you and the Seeker must have had lots of fun during those travels through the woods, all those starry nights…but no wait, you can’t bed him because you would confess him, isn’t that true? Well you should have asked Cara then, she provides excellent services…”
“Enough!” Kahlan interrupted.
“Forget I asked.”
The Confessor was scowling as she brought as much distance between her and Denna as she possibly could.
Now that they’d figured out that they could only handle their clothing by dressing and undressing one another Denna had opted for wearing a much shorter and less restraining version of her dress. And when Kahlan had finally found the courage to ask for Denna’s assistance it had all been ruined again by a few words.
Denna sighed. She knew she was slowly but steadily losing it ever since her body had welcomed the stray touches of the Confessor when they’d taken care of her dress being put back in place.
Furthermore the pain became less whenever the Confessor was near. But she was Mord’Sith and she welcomed the pain, relished it. It was the only constant that helped preserve her sanity.
But why, in all places, it had to be her chest hurting occurred to her when she recalled how she had died. It was as if that damned arrow from Cara was still there, only invisible.
Denna sauntered over to where Kahlan was sitting but kept her distance to the still upset Confessor.
“So, is your throat hurting much?” The Mord’Sith asked easily as if she had just commented on the weather.
Kahlan looked up at her, surprised, and Denna knew she was right. They were both feeling the aftermaths of their deaths. The Mord’Sith refused however to mention that the pain became bearable when they were closer to each other and since Kahlan didn’t broach the subject either they simply ignored it for the time being.
Kahlan eventually came around and rose to her feet.
“Alright fine. I’ll stop fidgeting if you don’t say anything while doing it.” She announced and Denna smirked.
The blonde crossed her arms before her chest without moving a single muscle.
Kahlan rolled her eyes.
“Please.”
With a satisfied smirk Denna stepped closer to Kahlan and as soon as her hands touched the fabric of the Confessor’s jacket the pain in her chest dissipated completely.
Denna let out a frustrated huff and began pulling the garment off Kahlan’s shoulders.
A smooth expanse of pale skin was revealed and Denna sucked her lower lip between her teeth when the jacket fell to the ground.
Kahlan sat down on top of it in one fluid motion and stretched out her legs.
Without having to utter a single word Denna knelt down in front of the Confessor and began untying the laces on the boots.
Although she tried, she wasn’t able to stop herself from dragging her fingers along those perfectly shaped legs when she pulled each boot off.
Kahlan also tried to suppress the shudder that ran through her body, but Denna still noticed it.
The entire thing left them both a little too breathless for either to feel comfortable so Denna simply straightened and walk back to the other side of the beach to sit down on a fallen log.
The pain her chest returned immediately and she sighed.
It wasn’t until she heard a chocked gasp that Denna turned her attention back to the Confessor. The brunette was kneeling on the sand, both hands on her throat while blood kept on dripping down her chin. She obviously couldn’t breathe and every time she tried to suck air into her lungs more blood burst through her lips. It looked grotesquely out of place when it dripped onto the white sand.
Denna watched the entire scene for several more moments until she eventually got up and walked over to the Confessor.
With a scowl of repulsion on her face Denna crouched down next to Kahlan and rested a hand on the brunette’s now bare shoulder.
It was only a matter of moments until Kahlan could breathe more easily, but she was obviously still in pain. Before Denna could even react she suddenly had two arms wrapped around her torso and a head resting in the crook of her neck.
“Don’t say anything.” The Confessor warned with a raspy voice and for once Denna actually remained silent.
…
They sat next to each other, so close that their shoulders were touching.
“Were you really trying to become a better person?” Kahlan asked quietly, her blue eyes searching the perfect features of the Mord’Sith for any sort of reaction.
“You mean before Cara pierced my heart with an arrow?” Denna’s tone was bitter and Kahlan couldn’t help but feel something akin to compassion for the other woman. But she would rather swallow her tongue than admit to that.
“Even if I wanted to, there is no way I could become someone else. I am Mord’Sith.” Denna answered after a long stretch of silence.
“But that doesn’t mean that you can’t change.”
“Like Cara? Become a domestic little pet to the Seeker and walk around saving peasants all day, every day? Please, as if I had any interested in that.”
“I think you have it in you Denna, you just don’t know it yet.” Kahlan earned herself a sideways glance from the blonde.
“What?”
“Nothing.” Denna grumbled, clearly not in the mood to talk about this anymore.
“So do you think we’ll ever get out of here?”
The urge to actually talk to another living soul was getting the better of Kahlan and since there was no one else around it was Denna who she tried to converse with. It posed to be a difficult task to get anything else out of the blonde except for one worded answers but Kahlan somehow managed even that.
She smiled, thinking that many Mord’Sith seemed to possess this aversion to talking, and since she’d gotten Cara to talk she was confident that she could get around to Denna as well.
“I know why I am here, but since you showed up as well I really can’t say what would be the purpose of this place.” Denna answered, interrupting Kahlan’s train of thought.
“What do you mean ‘since I showed up here’?”
“This was my punishment for everything I have done. My own personal little underworld. So your presence here does not make a whole lot of sense to me.”
“Maybe I’m being punished for my deeds as well…” Kahlan mused.
A cold laugh escaped Denna’s lips.
“Don’t try to compare yourself to me Confessor, you have no idea of what I’m capable of.”
So much for a nice conversation, Kahlan thought and sighed quietly. Now that she wasn’t continuously chocking on her own blood anymore when keeping close to the Mord’Sith, and with her restraining clothing reduced to a minimum, she actually had even more time to think about Richard, Cara and Zedd. She missed them so much that it was almost a physical ache while she kept on wondering how they were holding out without her. The last time she’d seen them they’d been in a battle near the Pillars of Creation and just when she had tried to deflect a blow meant for Cara’s back someone had charged at her from the side and cut her throat. Just like that. The powerful Mother Confessor of all the Midlands killed by some petty scoundrel. That was truly nothing to be proud of.
…
“So you haven’t managed, in all this time I might add you were together, to bed the Seeker?” Denna asked. There was no venom in that question, just genuine curiosity.
They were lying side by side on the sand, Kahlan’s hand wrapped around the blonde’s forearm. Her throat had gotten worse again and she had needed some skin contact to make the pain go away. Denna had allowed it begrudgingly but wanted to play a game of question and answer in return.
Kahlan sighed.
“No, Richard and I have not been intimate. Had I known that I couldn’t confess him, I would’ve done it when I still had the chance.”
Denna was quiet for so long that Kahlan began to think she’d already lost all interest in the topic.
“You can’t confess him?” She finally spoke.
“No.”
“Oh.”
Kahlan propped herself up on her elbows and looked down at the Mord’Sith who was staring at the dark sky above them.
“You sound upset.”
“No. I’m just… surprised. When I was training him, all he talked about was how much he loved you but couldn’t be with you…”
This admission was completely out of character for the Mord’Sith and they both knew it.
“It doesn’t matter anymore, now does it?” Kahlan had a sad smile on her lips and lowered herself back down onto the sand.
“I guess not.” Denna sighed.
“My turn. Why do you think that you deserve to be punished?”
Denna raised an eyebrow and turned her head to look at Kahlan. Her long blond hair was splayed all over the white sand, and her pale blue eyes looked almost gray in the semi-darkness of this place.
“I have killed, slaughtered and tortured people. Children. I didn’t feel anything then, I was frozen inside and yet I always knew that what I was doing was horrible. I didn’t care. I wanted everyone to suffer just as much as I had suffered. Now don’t you think that makes me evil? Do I not deserve to be punished?”
Kahlan slowly shook her head and turned onto her side to fully look at Denna.
“Are you listening to yourself? You have already said it, you were cold then, but now you have changed and you can continue to change.”
Denna mimicked the brunette’s pose and they were staring at each other head-on.
“There is just one tiny problem with that.”
“Yeah?”
“We’re dead Confessor.”
A look of embarrassment crossed Kahlan’s features.
“Oh, right.”
Denna smirked and raised a single perfectly-arched eyebrow.
“So you have never been fucked before?”
The question threw Kahlan completely off and a blush crept from her neck up to her face. She abruptly sat up and pulled her legs up to her chest.
“I don’t see how that is any of your concern.” She huffed.
Although she knew it would cause them both pain, Kahlan got up and walked away. She needed some time to herself and a few moments without the Mord’Sith’ presence.
Denna meanwhile remained in her position, arms crossed behind her head and gazing at the ever-present starless dark sky.
She thought about the Confessor’s words and although she hated to admit it they rung true somewhere deep inside of her. She had indeed started to change, without consciously wanting it, but she began to experience things, feel things she had thought herself incapable of feeling.
It was odd, and slightly frightening but Denna had never been one to get scared of anything. She was Mord’Sith.
But then again Mord’Sith didn’t feel, right?
A frustrated sigh escaped her lips and she pressed a hand to her chest without actually noticing it.
She closed her eyes for a while but then the pain became more present in her mind until she couldn’t ignore it any longer.
She loathed the fact that she had to stay near Kahlan for the pain to go away, and even though she could hold out much longer than the Confessor it always became unbearable in the end. Not because the pain was unbearable, but because she couldn’t let herself go. She always used to lose herself in pain until it consumed her every thought, but this was neither the right kind of pain nor the place for that.
It got worse and Denna eventually sat up, wondering why Kahlan hadn’t come back. She couldn’t see her and rose from the ground when she had to press both hands against her chest to actually take another breath.
It was ridiculous really, they were dead and yet it felt like her lungs were deprived of air until she could barely see straight anymore.
She stumbled across the sand and eventually found Kahlan near the trees, lying on her side, silent sobs rocking her body. Although she was crying it was obvious that she wasn’t conscious anymore.
Denna fell to her knees near the other woman and moved closer until she was able to lie down next to her and wrap an arm around the Confessor’s middle.
For some reason sleep claimed the Mord’Sith and sweet unconsciousness followed.
…
When Kahlan awoke everything was still the same, except for the fact that she had her head resting on Denna softly rising and falling chest. Her arm was draped across the Mord’Sith middle and their legs were somehow entwined.
She couldn’t remember what had happened after a wave of intense pain had flooded her entire body, rendering her unable to move.
Denna’s breathing changed and Kahlan knew she was awake.
“You were asleep too.” The Confessor said quietly, not moving away from Denna. It was awkward, yes, but she just craved the comfort of being held. Just a tiny soothing touch was all she needed and she would be able to go on for another eternity.
“This place is changing, and so are we.” Denna stated.
She wasn’t making any move to get up either and so they stayed in that position, without actually acknowledging the strangeness of it.
“What does it mean?”
“Wish I knew.” Denna sighed and Kahlan’s head moved up and down with the motion.
“I have never been…intimate with anyone.” Kahlan suddenly said out of the blue. She burrowed her face deeper into Denna’s neck because embarrassment was clearly written across her features. She was actually getting ready for disdainful laugh or a vicious comment but Denna only hummed quietly in response.
“I already knew that.”
“Really? How?”
“I am Mord’Sith.”
Kahlan chuckled at that, warm breath dancing across Denna’s skin.
“What’s so funny about that?” She asked, tensing,
“Just that Mord’Sith answer everything they think should be obvious with ‘I am Mord’Sith’.”
Denna didn’t seem to quite agree with that so she ignored the comment.
“Why did you tell me though? You said it was none of my business.”
“I…I don’t know. I just…wanted to say it for once. Now that I have missed this opportunity I regret that I have never tried it, but back then there was just no way…”
“I could tell you a few things that would have you blushing your pretty little head right off your shoulders.” Denna commented dryly after a moment.
“I certainly believe you could.” Kahlan replied smirking but then turned serious again.
“But I’ll pass. No need in telling me about something I’ll never experience. I will only make it worse.”
The Confessor unconsciously pressed her body closer to Denna and sighed contentedly. Denna didn’t object but raised her head to look into blue eyes for a moment.
“Just for the record, Mord’Sith do not cuddle. Ever.”
Kahlan began chuckling, her entire body shaking with suppressed laughter.
“Noted.” She chocked out and was rewarded with an indulgent smile from Denna.
I am truly going insane, the Mord’Sith thought to herself and let head fall back onto the sand.
“I have been thinking.” Kahlan said when she and Denna had changed positions and she was now cradling a blonde head in her lap while leaning with her back against a fallen log.
“No, really?” Denna teased and looked up at the Confessor.
“Yes. I believe that we can only change this place when we both want it.”
Kahlan knew she had the blonde’s full attention when two shapely brows creased in thought.
“How so?”
“Well, we couldn’t take our clothing off without helping each other and we were only able to touch when we both accepted it.”
“That…” Denna tried to think back over everything that had happened ever since Kahlan had appeared. “…might be true. But we both wanted to go through that passage and we couldn’t.”
Kahlan cocked her to the side and turned to look at the passageway between the dark trees.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She answered slowly, but something was in the back of her mind, just beyond reach.
“And why do you think can’t we drown in the water? I mean it just sort of moves away from us whenever it reaches shoulder-height.” Kahlan thought out loud.
Denna half-shrugged.
“I suppose it’s just a barrier, sort of like the forest. Even though we could walk in either direction forever we will always find ourselves in the same spot again sooner or later. But do you really need to ask? Nothing here makes a lot of sense.”
…
Kahlan gasped. She lifted her back off the sand in a perfect arch, tiny grains of sand clinging to her naked sweaty form like armor.
“No stop! Stop!” She shouted and Denna lifted her head, regrettingly letting go of the puckered peak between her lips.
“What?!” She barked impatiently.
Kahlan was still trying to regain her breathing, eyes squeezed shut and both hands buried in her dark tresses.
“What if I confess you?”
Denna licked her lips and moved her body upward, along Kahlan’s naked curves. Her long hair was falling haphazardly over her shoulders, gently tickling the Confessor’s exposed breasts.
“Kahlan?” She asked leaning down and capturing the brunette’s lips in a deep and long kiss.
“Yes?” Kahlan gasped when they parted.
“You can’t confess me, because we are already dead.”
Blue eyes suddenly opened, staring up into Denna’s smirking face.
“Oh yeah…I keep on forgetting that somehow. Well then, please continue.” Kahlan waved her hand in a vague gesture toward her body.
“As you wish.” The lustful grin that spread across Denna’s lips was pretty much the most arousing sight Kahlan had ever seen.
She wasn’t entirely sure how they’d gotten this far, but now that they were both naked and Denna was moving her lips to places no one had ever even seen before there was no going back.
Although she had occasionally touched herself to coax some sort of pleasure from her body, it was nothing compared to what Denna was doing to her. Within a short span of time she was reduced to gasps and moans and when the blonde’s talented fingers found her most sensitive core she actually raked her nails down Denna’s spine, leaving deep red marks in her wake.
“Oh Spirits please…please…please…Denna!”
Kahlan was already beyond thought as her hips moved of their own accord to meet every single thrust of the blonde’s fingers.
Pleasure flooded her body so forcefully that a few tears escaped her eyes when she floated high above on a cloud of ecstasy.
Kahlan was still panting when the humming of her body returned to a normal level. She was still limply hanging on to the threads of her thoughts when Denna slipped free of her and raised her fingers to her lips to gently lap at the tips.
Kahlan groaned and grabbed the Mord’Sith neck to crush their lips together a little too forcefully.
“I can’t believe this just happened.” She panted against the blonde’s mouth.
“Yeah, I never thought I’d fuck a Confessor either.”
A look of hurt flittered through Kahlan’s eyes and Denna immediately regretted her poor choice of words.
“That’s not what I meant…” She began but Kahlan shook her head and smiled.
“I know.”
She suddenly spun them both around and began her own little exploratory journey over delicious curves and smooth skin. Denna allowed it but guided Kahlan with a hand threaded into her hair.
The Confessor was hesitant at first, but when the smell of Denna’s arousal surrounded her she couldn’t hold out any longer and moved in for a taste.
Her movements weren’t really precise but she got an idea of what the Mord’Sith liked pretty quickly.
“Just do…circles!” Denna moaned and Kahlan paused her ministrations to look up at Denna with a raised eyebrow. Her look clearly said ‘seriously?’ but when she received no further instructions she simply did as she was told.
Denna becoming undone under her hands and tongue was one of the most marvelous things she had ever been allowed to witness.
How had she been supposed to know that bringing pleasure to someone else could be so incredibly rewarding? That had never been the case with Richard, and even though a bit of guilt came to life in her heart at the thought of him, she easily pushed it aside and forgot about it the next second.
“For someone with as good as no experience you are surprisingly good at it.” Denna said, smirking.
“I’m a quick study.” Kahlan replied and stretched her body before returning to the blonde’s side.
“Maybe this strange place will turn out to be more entertaining than I have initially thought.” Denna mused.
“I think I can only agree to that. Although I don’t think being dead should feel this good.” Kahlan replied and Denna chuckled.
“Certainly not.”
…
Kahlan had her arms wrapped around Denna, while the Mord’Sith sat in between her outstretched legs.
She rested her chin on Denna’s shoulder and quietly spoke into the other woman’s ear.
“I somehow always knew you could become a better person.”
The blonde turned her head to side.
“At what point exactly did you come to that conclusion? When I tried to kill you and the Seeker? Or when I kidnapped that wizard of yours?”
Kahlan gently a hand up and down Denna’s back, feeling the scratches she had left there. Now that they were as familiar with each other’s bodies as with their own there was no need for clothing anymore. The temperature always remained the same and the water wasn’t cold either. And it wasn’t like the Keeper was getting off on seeing them naked.
“You could have killed me the moment Richard knocked me unconscious with that agiel of yours, but you didn’t. And the same goes for Zedd. I know you are going to say that you merely had different plans for us, and yet you didn’t kill us. Oh and when you had your lips down there, kissing me so unbelievably gently that I came alone from that, gave me a pretty good clue.”
Denna chuckled and placed a kiss against Kahlan’s jaw.
“I really need to teach you how to talk dirty, don’t I?”
“And here I thought I was getting pretty good at it…”
Kahlan laughed quietly but became silent when Denna murmured something.
“What?”
“I said that I couldn’t have changed without you… Had I tried it on my own, I think I would’ve failed, but for some reason you help me push that darkness inside of me back to a place where it can’t come forth anymore.”
Kahlan tightened her hold on the blonde.
“But you shouldn’t forget that I am still Mord’Sith and always will be.”
“I won’t.”
Denna took a deep breath and leaned back. She knew that her behavior was completely out of character, not only for her, but for any Mord’Sith. She was gentle and soft, she actually cuddled with the Confessor and a part of her still loathed this weakness. The greater part however wanted to be near Kahlan for all eternity. She had finally found something she knew hadn’t been meant for her and now she wanted to keep it forever.
“Do you still miss them?” Denna asked and they both know who she was referring to. The Mord’Sith knew that Kahlan’s heart still belonged to the Seeker, but it didn’t bother her too much. It was enough for her to possess a tiny part of Kahlan that Richard would never have.
Kahlan kissed Denna’s naked shoulder before shaking her head.
“Not as much anymore…no. I do hope that they have gotten over my death by now.”
“Well, for all we know you could’ve died yesterday there.” Denna reminded and Kahlan grimaced.
“Still. I really wouldn’t want to cause them anymore unnecessary pain.”
They both fell silent after that and Kahlan tapped her fingertips against Denna’s side while thinking about the oddity that this place.
Something was still nagging her but she just couldn’t put her finger on it. They had figured out that they could change a few things about this place, like moving a fallen log around, when they both wanted it, but still hadn’t been able to go through that passage. Not that she wanted to. As insane that might've sounded to anyone’s ears, Kahlan was happy. She loved every single moment she spent with Denna and an eternity of this didn’t seem so bad after all.
But then suddenly it occurred to her. She immediately tensed and fully turned to look at the passage.
Denna was pushed forward and spun around on her knees to look at Kahlan.
“What’s wrong?”
Uncertain blue eyes settled on the blonde’s face.
“I think I know why we haven’t been able to enter the passageway.”
Denna’s jaw clenched and they were both thinking about what it would mean if Kahlan had indeed found the solution.
“Tell me.” Denna demanded after coming to the decision that this place was never meant for Kahlan. If there was a way for the Confessor to return to the world of the living, she was going to make sure Kahlan would walk it.
“We both have to want something to make it happen, and although we can only work with what’s already here, that’s more or less the basic principle right?”
Denna nodded.
“So when we tried to go through the passage we both wanted it, but just for ourselves. Now what if we tried to go through while wanting that both of us can do so together.”
Denna’s brows furrowed as she thought about Kahlan’s proposal.
“That is so absurd that it could almost work.”
She got up from the ground and held her hand out to Kahlan who took it and rose.
They started walking toward the passageway when Kahlan stopped them with a tug on Denna’s hand.
“How about we dress first?” She suggested shyly and Denna looked down at herself. She’d almost completely forgotten about their nudity, but nodded in agreement.
They quickly dressed one another and Kahlan leaned in to gently kiss the blonde Mord’Sith. They stood there for several moments in each other’s arms, only lips and tongues tasting, mingling.
Denna recognized the kiss for what it was, a promise that whatever happened should they be able walk through the passage they would be together, and she smiled.
…
They were both concentrating on the task at hand, standing in front of the passageway and sharing a last glance before reaching out.
At this point the barrier would’ve normally repulsed Kahlan’s hand but suddenly it went right through the blueish glimmering wall.
“By the Creator.” She gasped. “It worked.”
Denna reached out her hand as well but her fingers were stopped right in front of the barrier.
She glared at it but couldn’t get any further.
Her decision was made as soon as she had realized that she wouldn’t be able to go through.
“No!” Kahlan said, reading the stern look on the Mord’Sith face. She snapped her hand back and suddenly Denna stumbled forward, halfway through the barrier.
Now it was the brunette who wasn’t able to reach through it and Denna stepped back to look at Kahlan.
“Only one of us can go through.”
“At a time?”
“No.”
“Denna…”
The Mord’Sith smiled and wrapped both hands around Kahlan’s waist to pull her close. She leaned forward and placed a kiss onto those unbelievably soft lips. Her mouth then wandered down her neck and she took a deep breath while burying one hand in thick dark hair.
“I won’t leave you.” Kahlan mumbled and returned the embrace.
“I know.” Denna breathed.
She suddenly grabbed both of Kahlan’s shoulders and with a strong push shoved her right through the barrier and into the shadows of the large trees.
Widened shocked blue eyes stared back at her before the Confessor was completely engulfed in darkness and disappeared from sight.
Denna pressed both hands against the barrier and smiled bitterly.
She hadn’t cried ever since her first three breakings but not even the Keeper himself could have stopped that single tear rolling down her cheek.
This is how it was supposed to be and the glimpse at happiness she had been allowed was all she could hold onto for all eternity.
That Kahlan would have stayed with her, and hadn’t even thought about that she could have stepped through the barrier herself leaving Kahlan behind, meant everything to Denna. Of course she would have never allowed that the Confessor threw her chance at life away like this, but it was still a beautiful thought that someone wanted to stand by her side of their own free will.
“Who would have known that a Mord’Sith can actually love?” Denna whispered and turned away from the barrier.
…
“What were you…”
Kahlan’s voice wasn’t her own and she heard it from somewhere far far away. Darkness was all around her and she was floating again. Or at least she thought she was.
She couldn’t see, feel or hear anything until suddenly her back collided with something solid, pressing the last word out of her.
“…thinking!” She yelled and the echo could be heard all around her.
She opened her eyes and frantically scrambled to her feet.
“Denna!”
The sun was shining high above her head and sky was as blue as she remembered it. A bird sang somewhere in the distance and the place looked vaguely familiar.
“Denna!” She yelled again but only her own echo wailed back at her call.
She knew she was completely out of her mind and she needed a moment to calm her breathing to go about this strategically.
She stood there, not moving a muscle, and looked around again.
These were the Pillars of Creation! She recognized them now and blinked a few times.
Did that mean she was back in the world of the living?
And where was Denna?
“You shouldn’t have done that.” Kahlan said to no one and tears sprang to her eyes unbidden. She forced them back with a deep breath, nothing was lost yet.
“Her soul has been redeemed.” An ethereal voice said. It came from nowhere and everywhere at the same time, maybe even from inside her head.
Kahlan spun around.
“What?!”
“By giving you your life she redeemed herself and has now finally moved on.” The voice replied.
“Fuck that! I want her here with me!”
Kahlan didn’t care if she was talking to the Creator herself, she only wanted Denna.
The oddity of it was not lost on the Confessor but she could barely make sense of her own feelings at the moment. She only knew that she was desperately missing the blonde. It hurt so much.
But the voice was gone and no one cared to answer to her cries and pleadings. She paced around the Pillars of Creation, yelling at the Creator and the Keeper alike until her throat was sore.
She realized that she couldn’t expect any help from higher powers, but a certain wizard would surely know some sort of spell to suit her purposes.
She would figure this all out and bring Denna back. She deserved a second chance, more than anyone else. Richard would understand.
Unfortunately the Pillars of Creation were pretty far off from the next village and she wasn’t in the best shape either. She walked an entire day, only mildly happy that time finally made sense again, until she came across a lone merchant. He drove on a simple cart with some supplies strapped to a single horse that had seen better days as well.
Kahlan broke into a run until she had caught up with him. Fortunately he was only a harmless old man who happily offered to take her along.
“You wouldn’t know where I could find the Seeker?” Kahlan asked, munching on a spiced piece of bread the merchant had given her. And although it wasn’t particularly delicious she still closed her eyes at the taste of the first bite. There was nothing comparable to being able to eat actual food.
“The Seeker? You mean Lord Rahl? Oh he is at the People’s Palace of course. Well I think he is. He has just returned from his journey to the Mother Confessor so he should be there right now.” The merchant answered.
“The…Mother Confessor?” Kahlan spluttered.
“Oh yes, she lives in Aydindril and Lord Rahl visits her frequently to speak about contracts and such things. Ever since the Midlands and D’Hara have started trading and working together everything has changed for the better.”
“Right…”
Kahlan wasn’t entirely sure what to make of the information, but she definitely needed to find out if the Lord Rahl was indeed Richard or if she had just ended up in another kind of underworld.
The merchant took her to the next village where she borrowed a horse, leaving a note to whomever it belonged that she would pay for it later.
Desperate times called for drastic measures.
She rode the horse as hard as she could, refusing to acknowledge the ache in her heart, and soon had to ‘borrow’ yet another animal to continue her journey.
Usually it had been enough to tell people that she was the Mother Confessor and required means of transport, but now someone else seemed to have claimed that title and she really wasn’t keen on being arrested for pretentiousness.
She eventually reached the People’s Palace hungry and completely exhausted. Never having been there before, she was shocked at the size of it, wondering how she was supposed to find Richard amidst all these walls of stone.
…
In the end it wasn’t that great of a challenge to seek out the reigning Lord Rahl. Because he visited the merchant’s booths within the walls of the palace every day she only needed to follow the masses of people toward the spectacle that was the ruler of their land.
A large cluster of people was surrounding him and Kahlan had to not so gently push her way to the front.
When she finally caught a glimpse of the man in a red robe with the Sword of Truth strapped to his hip she froze mid-motion.
It was Richard alright, but not how she remembered him.
His hair was still as shaggy, but had lost some of its color. His beard was fuller now and age had added wrinkles to his eyes and mouth. He still possessed the same gentle eyes, but experience had changed his entire posture. He seemed more self-assured and calm now. An aura of power and serenity surrounded him as he smiled at the child of a merchant that had waddled up to him.
Her feet began to move of their own accord. She needed to get a better look at him.
“Richard.” She gasped and suddenly surprised brown eyes settled on her.
He turned away from the child and took a step toward her, shock and confusion clearly written across his face.
“K-Kahlan?”
“Richard!”
The sight of him was such a relief to her tortured heart that she swiftly moved toward him and flung her arms around his neck.
He still smelled the same.
“You are dead.” He breathed but returned the hug nonetheless.
Kahlan let go and fully looked at him.
“And you are…old.”
“Kahlan... it’s been ten years since you died.”
The color of his face had changed to a very concerning white and he looked like he had just seen a ghost.
Kahlan herself was just as perplexed, unable to fully comprehend what Richard had said.
“Ten years? That can’t be…”
“Richard!” A voice called and Kahlan spun around when she heard it.
She watched as Cara walked toward them with quick strides. The blonde’s hair had grown longer and it was tied back in a ponytail, just not as tightly as Kahlan remembered Mord’Sith wearing it. Her clothing had also changed. It now looked like a mixture between Mord’Sith leathers and a guard’s uniform, more formal and less restraining.
“What is going on?” She barked. Her face was hard and her eyes were filled with suspicion.
“Who are you?” She asked when she came to stand next to Richard.
“It’s me…Kahlan.” The Confessor replied hesitantly.
“Kahlan is dead. I don’t know who you are, but certainly not her.”
The shock on Richard’s face turned into something else entirely, now that he considered the possibility that she could be an impostor.
“I am Kahlan!” She protested and Richard and Cara shared a glance.
“Prove it.” The Mord’Sith demanded, crossing her arms before her chest. Guards were taking position on either side of them, ready to protect their Lord Rahl.
“We…we saved the Night Wisps together.” Kahlan began.
“And we defeated the Keeper, although Richard gave the first Stone of Tears to him. And when were in that tomb, Cara, you said that you considered me to be your…”
“Alright!” The Mord’Sith interrupted.
“I believe you.” She breathed and stepped forward to put a hand on Kahlan’s shoulder.
“But how is this possible? We buried you ten years ago Kahlan, you were dead.”
“I was, yes, but it’s really a long story. Say, is Zedd here? I have a few questions to ask him.”
Although happiness about their reunion should be reigning her thoughts, Kahlan could ony think of one person she wanted to be reunited with.
Richard shook his head.
“No he is in Aydindril with Dennee. The long travels are not that good for him anymore.”
So Dennee was now the Mother Confessor Kahlan thought and smiled. She looked at Richard and he returned her smile although he was still struggling with his initial shock. She was sorry that she had to do this to him, bringing back feelings and memories he probably had long ago buried.
“Richard!” Someone called and they were yet again interrupted.
A woman with long dark hair and piercing green eyes joined them. She smiled at Richard and rose to her toes to place a kiss on his lips. She raised an eyebrow at him when he refused to react.
The woman was beautiful, very much so, and even though Kahlan felt a little pang in her heart, she was glad that he had found happiness without her.
The woman turned to Kahlan with a smile. “Hello there. I don’t think we have met before. I’m Clarissa.”
Kahlan nodded. “Uh…hello.”
Cara cleared her throat uncomfortably.
“I think we should take this into the palace.”
“Yes!” Richard agreed a little too hastily and earned himself a questioning glance from Clarissa.
…
Kahlan was sitting in the Great Hall of the People’s Palace, staring at the food in front of her. She wasn’t particularly hungry and only drank some of the wine.
After Richard had introduced her to Clarissa the other woman had immediately known that Kahlan wasn’t just a woman who coincidentally had the same name as Richard’s first true love.
Needless to say that everything was a little awkward from then on and Kahlan tried to stay out of Richard’s way as much as possible. She hadn’t talked much to either him or Cara, mostly keeping to herself and working through books in the great library. They had sent word to Aydindril and Kahlan had written a letter to Zedd asking for his assistance.
But the more time passed, the more miserable Kahlan felt. She missed Denna so much, craved her touch and her presence.
What would Richard and Cara say if they knew?
Kahlan looked up from her wine when someone took the empty seat next to her. She really wasn’t in the mood to talk and since Richard had convinced her to join them in the Great Hall for dinner she’d become even more quiet. He hadn’t told her that dinner meant that hundreds of people would be joining them.
Out of all people it was Clarissa who was now sitting next to her.
“You look sad.” She simply stated and Kahlan tried to smile.
“I’m fine. Really.”
“I have seen many women with a broken heart, and you don’t look any different.”
“What? No, oh no, I am really happy for you and Richard. I completely understand. I didn’t expect him to mourn me for the rest of his life.” Kahlan hurried to reassure.
“Oh I know you aren’t sad because of Richard. It is something else that is hurting you, isn't it?” Clarissa answered and scooted a little closer to Kahlan.
The Confessor was slowly starting to understand why Richard had fallen in love with this woman. She was compassionate and so very good-hearted.
Clarissa carefully rested a hand on Kahlan’s forearm and smiled encouragingly at her.
That was pretty much all it took for her carefully constructed façade to crumble.
“I…I am…” She hiccupped, realizing that she might’ve drunken a little too much wine.
“I miss her so much.” Kahlan eventually said and sniffled.
“I want her to come back to me. Right now!”
Clarissa raised her eyebrows. She didn’t understand what Kahlan was talking about, of course not, how could she? No one would understand.
Suddenly a murmur went through the crowd and everything went deathly still. The faint scream of an agiel could be heard through the silence.
“What in all the world…!” Cara exclaimed and jumped to her feet at the other end of the hall.
Richard rose as well, hand on his sword.
Kahlan leaned back and together with Clarissa tried to get a glimpse of whatever was causing this ruckus.
“My my, what a warm welcome.” A voice purred and a shiver ran down Kahlan’s spine.
With shaking legs she rose from her chair.
Right there, surrounded by a dozen guards, stood Denna in full Mord’Sith regalia. She had an agiel in one hand and her hair was tied back tightly The red of the leather glistened in the faint light of the candles above.
Kahlan’s heart skipped a beat. Breathing became visibly harder and the blood rushed from her face. She swayed a little right where she stood and Clarissa held her upright by wrapping both hands around her arm.
“Are you alright?”
“I have to… I need to…”
Kahlan simply started walking. She felt as if in a daze.
She bumped into a few people on her way toward the Mord’Sith but they eventually started to step aside.
Kahlan stepped past the guards without caring about the fact that each was holding a razor-sharp blade.
“Kahlan!” Cara called.
Suddenly Denna turned, finally catching sight of the Confessor. The arrogant smirk slipped from her face and she lowered her agiel.
Kahlan walked toward Denna until she stood right in front of her, until they were breathing each other in.
Tears were welling up in her eyes as Kahlan pressed her lips tightly together.
“What were you thinking?” She finally said.
Denna rewarded her with a lopsided smirk and Kahlan threw her arms around the Mord’Sith to pull her into a kiss.
Their lips met and it was the most satisfying thing in the world.
She didn’t care what anyone was thinking, she didn’t care that everyone was staring at them. It didn’t matter.
Denna had finally come back to her.
“I have missed you so much.” She mumbled against those magnificent lips and Denna rested her forehead against Kahlan’s.
“I came back from the dead for you I think that says it all, doesn’t it?” Denna replied quietly.
Kahlan smiled, unwilling to let go of Denna.
“I’m glad that death wasn’t the end for us.”
"So am I, believe me, so am I."
Fin~