And already late to the party - so much for that resolution!
In your own space, talk about your Happy Place - the things that give you joy, calms you or keeps you sane.
Goodness.
I'm living a small town life, which is new and lovely, and I'm working in a small town library, and according to my sister I am sounding happier than I have in years. Or ever, maybe. It's possible I'm not used to joy and happiness because I find myself thinking, Huh. well, okay then.
Which doesn't, to me, sound like I'm radiating joy and happiness. But two years ago at this time, I was counting down the days until I was done with the law firm library job, and last year I was screaming HOLY SHIT PEOPLE I DID IT I QUIT! AND NOW I HAVE A PART TIME JOB THAT'S FREAKING AMAZING AND ALL I NEED IS A FULL-TIME GIG AND MY LIFE IS SET!
So now I'm not certain what to say.
Oh, right - what gives me joy! Not, do I feel joy, but what brings me joy? Okay, I think I can handle that. Sorry for the ramble but it's my life and I am confused/confusing.
1. Meditation.
Which I'm terrible at and always forgetting to do, despite the Insight Timer on my phone and the fact that I actually have a meditation coach I speak to twice a week.
But.
I usually have the timer set for ten minutes. This is rarely how long my head can go without some thoughts crowding in, but if I set it for three, my head starts asking IS IT TIME YET? IS IT TIME YET? IS IT TIME YET? IS IT TIME YET? somewhere around ten seconds in. With ten minutes, that question kind of wanders off at some point, and my head wanders, too, and I pull it back to my breathing, or to counting, or to lovingkindness, and at some point the timer chimes, and I cannot tell you if I was truly silent for one second or eight minutes - but it's a marvelous moment of stillness that makes me feel like I did what I needed to do.
And a few months ago I felt crowded in my head at a book trade show - which meant it was crowded outside my head, too, and I suddenly had the idea that I should sit and meditate for ten minutes. I found a place outside in the courtyard of the hotel, which was not at all silent or calming but fuck it, ten minutes, and when the timer chimed I realized I needed to write a book. Was this influenced by the situation, by envy of all the authors, by fear of financial insecurity (I make very little money now)?
Absolutely!
Will writing a book solve any of this?
By no means!
Will it give me something to do that is nontoxic and life-enriching and is not ruled by my fears and defects?
Oh, oh yes.
So, meditation is a thing that gives me joy.
2. Writing.
Bit of a duh, I suppose, but my hands are wretched at sculpting clay or marble, and yet when I fashion words on a laptop I feel I'm sculpting, carving through a solid space to remove what doesn't belong. No one else has to agree with my choices, by the way, I'm the only one who has to find beauty and truth in what I bring out. Which is why I say specify writing and not the book alluded to above, which will in the end kinda/sorta/obviously depend on a lot of other people finding something worthwhile. Writing brings me joy. The book gives me a joyful workspace.
3. Weeding the collection. This is work related but someday will be home-based, I assure you. Our library is tremendously overgrown - I estimate we're at 125% capacity, with books on bottom and top shelves in all stacks. A quarter of the collection has not been checked out in five years. For the non-library folks in the crowd, this translates to FFSOMGWTFBBQ. And think about it: A good public library is... I don't know (seriously, I don't know) around 75 to 80%, right? So if we take out the 25% that hasn't circulated, we are still over where we need to be.
It is an incredible joy to get rid of books, to get some air into the stacks, to take out some of the claustrophobic darkness that comes from too many fucking books, a phrase I never thought I'd say.
It is a joy to find joy in new thoughts.