Lost In Thought

[ratsnatch]

Am I just going crazy? Why do I care what a former best friend thinks about me? I was always there for him and he never appreciated my frindship. He was a lousy roomate and he was one of the biggest mooches ever. I can think of a hundred billion reasons of why to not give a shit what he thinks, but I keep thinking of last summer when we were buds.

Comments

[_screamapillar]

im not trying to be mean in anything i say, im just being blunt and honest...

I really think that you're being a bit of a hypocrite. Again, see above comment in pink bold letters. I wonder if karma is playing a bit of a trick on you, seeing as how you said and did some things when you and megan weren't friends. you are really acting far too innocent in all this, and i think *FROM WHAT IVE SEEN/HEARD* that you both played a part in the demolition of this friendship. AGAIN SEE ABOVE COMMENT. I really think that it's sad that you two are going to let something like this ruin your friendship, because the friendship that he and i have now wasn't ruined by words and things said and done in the past. he said some pretty fucking awful things to me in the past, true, but isn't it easier to forgive and move on? don't you think that both of you have to stop this "you started it, but he.....but you..." stuff? pointing fingers has not and will not get you anywhere. Michael never said he was innocent, michael never said he didnt play a part in this. But I think you are acting far too innocent, and when you admit your faults, then you can honestly say that you haven't done anything wrong and that you are innocent. again, im not trying to be mean in anything i say, im just being blunt and honest... and I know you're going to tell me that this isn't any of my G-D business, but i hate seeing people hurt...ive tried to stay out of this, but i, too, miss the begining of last summer...i, too, miss it when everything was slap-happy and fun. but i think you all (including myself--where do you think ive been for these past few months, twiddling my thumbs?? Im not going to preach, then go out and do the opposite...im telling you what works best for me, in hopes that it will help you all get through this...) should try to take a step back and look at what each of you has done, personally, to sabotage what once was. because it's NEVER just one person's fault...like megan always says "there's always two sides to every story, and somewhere in the middle is the truth"...and like i told megan the other day over AIM, im a strong believer in the power of love, and what it holds onto, and friendship is a form of love. in love you have to try to work things through, and not give up when it gets difficult. because the only thing that working through something can do to you is make you stronger as whole, and wiser. I really hope what I have just typed has helped you, and not angered any of you. I really want to see broken friendships/hearts be put back together, because i myself have been working hard to become a stronger person from what happened last summer...

<3

[ratsnatch]

For the love of God. I just dont even know what to say. One of the first things I told Megan when we mended our friendship was the shit I had said when we werent friends. She knows that I said rude and hurtful things out of anger and I know she said rude and hurtful things out of anger. Everyone keeps bringing that up, like I havent already admitted I was wrong. I was wrong in chasing Mike out of the apartment the way I did, but me and him just could not live together. I hoped that one day we could be friends again, but that is not what he wants. He is still running and blaming me and Rhiana for the downfall of his relationship. If he would just admit that HE fucked up and stop trying to pin this all on me. I asked Meg on a date over two months after he dumped her and now Im being accused of something disgusting and horrible. I never felt that way about her when they were together, I hated her when they broke up, and when we rekindled our friendship I was trying to hook her up with my best friend. As if it were anyones fucking business, me and Meg talked about it and I had already realized that me asking her on a date was a mistake and I thought it would get in the way of how good of friends we are. Yes I told her I will always love her, and when it isnt blown out of context and people shut the fuck up and listen, I said it because she is my best friend. Show me one person that doesnt love their best friend and Ill show you someone thats not a true friend. I refuse to get on my knees and beg him to come to me and talk this out. He wont do it because it is far easier to run away and hide behind his sorrow and hate. I am the first to admit that I have fucked up in concerns to Michael, but I will NEVER admit to the lies he is trying to convince people of. I ran him out of the apartment because he annoyed the fuck out of me. I went about it in a bad way. I was a bad friend to Meg when they broke up. Im not perfect. Im sorry for the wrongs I have done. I thought I was always trying to be a good friend to Mike before we had our falling out. The road to hell is paved with good intentions though.

[_screamapillar]

[ratsnatch]

Yeah, I called and left a message on Bryans phone apologizing for hating you guys when Meg flipped out on me that night. Then I gave you links to my webspace of funny pics of Meg when she was drunk and from Halloween so you could make gifs making fun of her. I did forget about that. Thats what happens when you let go of hating people, you forget the stupid differences you had and things done in anger. Im sure she said some pretty shitty things about me to Lynz and Chris and everyone when she was mad at me, but I guess they are just a lil too classy to try to start shit like that. I mean I could tell you which shirt Mike picked out for me to wipe my ass with, but I dont. :-D