Um.... Home James? or Jacque rather
Just in case anyone was interested to know... I found this rather disturbing... according to Scientific American both US public and private investment in research and development of energy has declined since the 70s. While the rest of the world is struggling to become less dependent on fossil fuel and to find cleaner alternatives ... we are fighting wars to keep the fossil fuel dependent status quo intact.
I spent this past weekend working on an Organic farm in Auroville. It was cool. It is a cool concept, and the people were interesting. However, I can't imagine myself working on a farm like that long term. It would be great to see the seasons change and things grow and all, but... it is a little too removed from civilization for me. Who would have ever thought I would be saying something like this, but enough of the idealistic bull shit... I am a city girl. I love plants and I will always have a garden, and I like spending time in parks, and I want there to be more trees on the earth... but I don't particularly want to spend my time pulling weeds in the hot sun (my back is such a deep color of burgundy that it looks like a bruise and not a sunburn)... no matter how meditative it is.
Bottom line, I like to use my mind to solve problems. I like to be doing something... but that something isn't what I did this weekend (it isn't mindless, there is skill involved even in pulling weeds, but man, unless it comes with a drum circle and dancing every night... there is no way).
As you all have seen... I have spent the last month or so... doing two hours of yoga a day, reading, learning to cook, sleeping, eating, painting, trying to meditate, sometimes meeting cool people, writting, communicating with people on the internet, and thinking about EVERYTHING.
After a month of that... all I want is to do something. I feel calm and collected and I actually think my time here has made me better at dealing with people... but it is time for me to be involved in the productive world. I want deadlines and assignments.
Could it be the same need for something "different" that sent me here that is also driving me home? Possibly, but at least at home I can work and have my own kitchen in addition to doing all the other things I am doing here.
Current conclusions: Development of the self is awesome (and I intend to continue trying to get better at interacting with the people and other things around me), but I no longer buy this bit about holing up somewhere cut off from everyone and dedicating one's life to contemplation.
In time I will learn to control my mind when it is disturbed (I am upset or fixated or whatever), but the only way for me to do that is to allow things to disturb it then try to calm it.
Man I love life... and I really like the process of learning to be\accept myself... remind me of this feeling the next time I get pissed that things don't go the way I expect them to.
I spent this past weekend working on an Organic farm in Auroville. It was cool. It is a cool concept, and the people were interesting. However, I can't imagine myself working on a farm like that long term. It would be great to see the seasons change and things grow and all, but... it is a little too removed from civilization for me. Who would have ever thought I would be saying something like this, but enough of the idealistic bull shit... I am a city girl. I love plants and I will always have a garden, and I like spending time in parks, and I want there to be more trees on the earth... but I don't particularly want to spend my time pulling weeds in the hot sun (my back is such a deep color of burgundy that it looks like a bruise and not a sunburn)... no matter how meditative it is.
Bottom line, I like to use my mind to solve problems. I like to be doing something... but that something isn't what I did this weekend (it isn't mindless, there is skill involved even in pulling weeds, but man, unless it comes with a drum circle and dancing every night... there is no way).
As you all have seen... I have spent the last month or so... doing two hours of yoga a day, reading, learning to cook, sleeping, eating, painting, trying to meditate, sometimes meeting cool people, writting, communicating with people on the internet, and thinking about EVERYTHING.
After a month of that... all I want is to do something. I feel calm and collected and I actually think my time here has made me better at dealing with people... but it is time for me to be involved in the productive world. I want deadlines and assignments.
Could it be the same need for something "different" that sent me here that is also driving me home? Possibly, but at least at home I can work and have my own kitchen in addition to doing all the other things I am doing here.
Current conclusions: Development of the self is awesome (and I intend to continue trying to get better at interacting with the people and other things around me), but I no longer buy this bit about holing up somewhere cut off from everyone and dedicating one's life to contemplation.
In time I will learn to control my mind when it is disturbed (I am upset or fixated or whatever), but the only way for me to do that is to allow things to disturb it then try to calm it.
Man I love life... and I really like the process of learning to be\accept myself... remind me of this feeling the next time I get pissed that things don't go the way I expect them to.